Chapter Text
Jihoon can’t sleep. His mind is still alive and awake. He did everything to fall asleep but he really can’t. His body feels so restless and he doesn’t know why. He checked his sides to see if his friends are awake, but unluckily, they’re not.
Hoshi.
That’s right. Hoshi. He told Jihoon a while ago the he can visit him anytime, so Jihoon thought there won’t be any problem if he will to Hoshi’s place this late.
Jihoon got up from bed and quickly changed into a comfortable shirt and sweatpants. He went out of the room and walked towards the kitchen, and the living area. All clear. Then he checked the time. Six minutes passed eleven.
He decided to just stay there for an hour and come back and hope none of them will ever notice.
He slid his feet into his slippers and took the shortcut towards that place. It’s just a few blocks away from his aunt’s house. There is a wooden gate by the entrance of the woods with a ‘No Entry’ sign hanging on it. But nevermind. The gate in just tied with ropes and it’s really easy to enter.
Jihoon managed to go inside without any challenge. Then he carefully took his steps through the woods. It’s not that scary since the moon shines so bright this particular night.
He observed the trunks of the trees as he walked pass them. He smiled when he saw a smiley face drawn on them. He is glad those smiley faces are still there. Soonyoung and him drew those faces when they discovered this route. They drew them so they will not get lost. He turned left after the last tree with a smiley on it. And there he spotted Hoshi’s house.
It seems like Hoshi is still awake. The lights are still on. Good thing.
Jihoon walked pass by the fence and peeked through the windows and through the thin silk curtain.
“Hoshi?” Jihoon tried calling. But no response. He tried calling Hoshi’s name a couple of times more and knocked on the door.
A few seconds later, the door opened. “Why are you here?” Hoshi said, giving Jihoon curious looks. He’s wearing a gray hoodie and jeans. Looks like he’s going somewhere.
“Can’t sleep.” Jihoon replied with an awkward smile.
He stepped outside, holding two flashlights.
“Here.” He threw a flashlight in the air which Jihoon caught with both hands.
Jihoon walked towards him and flicked the flashlight switch on then off. “What for?”
“I’m gonna go at the riverside.” Hoshi said. Jihoon swallowed when he heard what Hoshi said. He holds a bad memory of that place.
“You can go with me if you want, but if not, you can stay here in the house for as long as you like.” Hoshi must have sensed that Jihoon felt a bit uncomfortable.
“Why are you going there?” Jihoon tried to ask.
“Because I want to.”
Jihoon grunted. “You kidding me? It’s dangerous there!”
Hoshi just shrugged and started walking.
“Hey! Wait!” Jihoon yelled. Hoshi just continued walking away. “I’ll go with you.”
Hoshi stopped and turned his head to Jihoon. He let out a soft laugh. “Are you sure?”
“Y-Yes.” Jihoon stuttered.
He stared at me for a while and then he shook his head. “No, you stay here. You look uneasy.”
“But I went here to…” Jihoon softly bit his lips. “…to see you.”
Hoshi sighed. “Okay. Let’s go.”
Jihoon walks just a feet behind Hoshi, following the path he’s taking. Hoshi glances at him from time to time. Jihoon can’t help but to feel weak whenever Their eyes meet.
This is too much. Hoshi’s merely doing anything but his impact on Jihoon is serious.
Hoshi took another glance at him, then he walked beside Jihoon and clenched his hand. “You are walking to slow.” Hoshi tugs Jihoon’s hand. “There’s nothing to be scared of.”
Jihoon locked his fingers with Hoshi’s and grasped it tight. They started walking again, until they reached the river.
Jihoon smiled upon seeing the place once again. It used to be one of his favorite place before. He and Soonyoung used to visit the riverside, especially during at night because it amazes them. Water mirroring the night sky and reflecting the light of the moon and the stars.
“We’re here.” Hoshi whispered before pulling Jihoon to sit with him on the big rocks.
“I used to go here with my childhood friend to watch the stars.” Hoshi sighed. “The last time we went here was before he left. But something happened.”
Hoshi rested his forehead on Jihoon’s shoulders. Jihoon saw him took his inhaler out from his pocket and took two deep breaths. Hoshi must have been tired.
“Are you okay?” Jihoon asked while looking at him with worried eyes. He waited for Hoshi to answer but instead Hoshi just held Jihoon’s hand and smiled.
“That friend of mine is really special to me.” Hoshi glanced at Jihoon. “Because he saved my life.”
Jihoon just looked ahead and watched the river flow. The water glisten as it reflect the light of the moon and the stars.
“You remind me of someone.” Jihoon can’t help it. Hoshi and Soonyoung is very much alike.
“Who?” Hoshi looked at him curiously.
“Soonyoung.” Jihoon muttered. “A friend of mine.”
“Are you sure he’s just a friend?”
“What? Of course!”
Hoshi raised an eyebrow at him.
Jihoon rolled his eyes. “Okay, he’s a close friend.”
“Are you sure?” Hoshi asked once again in a teasing tone.
“Stop it!”
Hoshi laughed. “It really looks like you like him.” he pointed at Jihoon’s cheeks. “It’s night but I can see you blushing.”
“HEY!”
“Okay, I’ll stop” Hoshi chuckled. “But anyways…You really looked uneasy a while ago.”
Jihoon looked at Hoshi, thinking whether he can spill the story of not.
“I’ll keep it a secret.” Hoshi adds.
Jihoon took a deep inhale before starting. “Soonyoung almost drowned because of me- no, scratch that- Soonyoung drowned, in this river, because…of me.”
Flashbacks of what happened years ago started to pour on Jihoon’s head. “It was the night before I left to study in the city. We went here for the last time to tell our goodbyes. And…” Jihoon’s chest suddenly felt heavy. “And I insisted to go through the waters, even though it’s raining and the current is a bit strong.”
Jihoon almost choked from holding back his tears. Hoshi just stared at him with worry.
“I don’t think I can continue the story. I’m sorry.” Jihoon looked away.
“It’s not your fault. It’s an accident.” Hoshi taps Jihoon’s shoulder. “Perhaps, you’re the one who saved him. Right?”
Jihoon turned his head to Hoshi, speechless.
Hoshi gave him a subtle smile. “When will I die? Is it soon?” Hoshi drew a horizontal line above his head. "It's written here, right?"
Jihoon’s eyes grew big. Hoshi knows. But how?
“Jihoon?” Hoshi waved his hands in front of Jihoon. “You okay?”
“H-how?”
Hoshi removed his necklace and gave it to Jihoon. Jihoon scanned it and saw the blue hourglass pendant. It is the same necklace he gave to Soonyoung before he left.
“T-This is--”
Jihoon did not even finish what he’s going to say because Hoshi pulled him straight into a hug.
“I missed you so much Jihoon.” Hoshi whispered.
Jihoon’s heart jumped upon hearing those words. “Soonyoung? A-are you Soonyoung?” Jihoon asks, just to be sure.
“Yes.” Hoshi replies, hugging Jihoon tighter. “I’m Soonyoung. Kwon Soonyoung.”
Jihoon instantly wrapped his arms around Hoshi, or should we say, Soonyoung. “I knew it.”
Soonyoung pulled away and pinched Jihoon’s cheeks. “My Jihoonie.” he said while giving Jihoon a big smile.
“Stop it, I’m not a kid anymore.” Jihoon protested, but deep inside he wants Soonyoung to repeat it again and again.
Soonyoung made Jihoon stand in front of him and looked at him from head to toe. “Are you sure you’re not a kid anymore? You’re already that tall since we’re kids.” Soonyoung teased.
Jihoon gave him a piercing glare. “I want to punch you right now.”
Soonyoung bursted in laughter. “I’m kidding.” he said while holding his stomach. “I just missed teasing you. It’s been years.”
Soonyoung reached for Jihoon’s hand and locked their fingers. “Will you stay here?”
“I don’t know.” JIhoon chewed his lips. He doesn’t want to leave Soonyoung again, but he also doesn’t want Soonyoung to expect too much.
Jihoon saw the hint of sadness in Soonyoung’s eyes, but the older pretended to smile. “It’s alright. I know you’re a bit busy.”
“But don’t worry, I will stay here for a few days. We can still see each other.” Jihoon reassured. “Or if you want I will stay here till next month. Till the vacation ends.”
Soonyoung nodded. “I see.”
They stared at each other for a while. No one talking. They can only hear the echoing of the river as the water flow, and the crickets chirping nearby.
“I have something for you.” Soonyoung breaks the silence.
“What is it?”
Soonyoung pulled Jihoon and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. Jihoon was left flustered by Soonyoung’s sudden move.
Soonyoung stood up and tugged Jihoon with him, not letting the other talk. “Let’s go home. I’m sleepy already.”
Jihoon just muttered a soft “Okay” before curling his lips up into a smile.
The next day, Jihoon woke up and found himself in a familiar looking place.
“Oh good you’re awake.” Dokyeom said while drying his hair with a towel.
“How did I get here?” Jihoon asked Dokyeom. He really can’t remember how he got home. He knows that he visited Soonyoung last night and then they went to the river. But he can’t remember anything after that.
Is he just dreaming?
“What do you mean?” Dokyeom gave him a puzzled look. “Did you went somewhere last night? Sleepwalking?” Dokyeom laughed.
“Nevermind.” Jihoon didn’t bother to explain.
After the three of them finished taking their shower, they gathered in the living area. Thankfully, Dokyeom brought his laptop, filled with movies, with him. It saved them from getting bored.
“Hey guys, I have something to say.” Jihoon said. Joshua paused the movie and turned to Jihoon.
“Spill.”
“You know the childhood friend that I’m talking about the other day? Soonyoung?”
His two friends nodded.
“I already know where he is.”
Joshua and Dokyeom exchanged glances.
“Really?” Dokyeom said.
“Yes. If you want we can visit him.”
They finished the movie they are watching before leaving the house to visit Soonyoung. Jihoon never felt so excited in his entire life. He’s so eager to introduce Soonyoung to his friends.
It took them a couple of minutes to arrive at Soonyoung’s house. Jihoon already saw Soonyoung’s silhouette from afar and he quickly ran towards the door to knock. Joshua and Dokyeom just waited behind him.
“Soonyoung!” Jihoon called while knocking the door. “It’s me Jihoon. I want to introduce you to my friends.”
Joshua stepped beside Jihoon. “Are you sure this is where Soonyoung is?”
“Yes.” Jihoon peeked through the windows. “Soonyoung!”
“Jihoon, stop.” Dokyeom said.
Jihoon turned his head towards him. “Why?”
His two friends looked at each other.
“We actually know where Soonyoung is.” Joshua said.
“Yes. And he’s here.” Jihoon insisted.
“Stop it already.” Dokyeom pulled Jihoon away from the house. “Look at it carefully.” He made Jihoon stand in front of it. “It’s nothing but an old and abandoned house.”
“No...”
Yes. He is actually standing in front of an old and abandoned house.
“Remember the day when we helped you aunt picked tangerines? We actually followed you all the way here. We just behind the trees and watched you from afar.” Joshua said.
“And we saw you as if you’re talking to someone.” Dokyeom added.
“Yes. I’m talking to Hoshi.” Jihoon asserted. “And Hoshi turned out to be Soonyoung, who is my childhood friend.”
“But Jihoon,” Joshua held his friends shoulders, giving him a worried look. “No one is with you that time. YOU ARE ALONE.”
Jihoon brushed his hair in frustration. “NO! SOONYOUNG IS WITH ME THAT TIME!”
“SOONYOUNG IS CONFINED IN A HOSPITAL!” Dokyeom yelled at his friend. He is not angry with Jihoon, but he wants his friend to come back to his senses. To come back to reality.
Jihoon stood frozen in front of his friends. “Then does that mean my mind is just playing with me? Is that it? I’m crazy?”
“We know you miss Soonyoung so much and this place brings back so much memories to you. Your memories together.” Joshua said.
“But he feels so real. I can touch him. We even went to the riverside last night.” Tears are already welling in Jihoon’s eyes.
“We know he is real, Jihoon." Joshua affirms. "But he’s not here. He is in the hospital right now and we'll go there later, okay?”
"Sure." Jihoon softly whispered.