Chapter Text
nature’s bitches
(7:00) mathememetics: so sorry i couldn't make it to the meeting everyone!! howd it go whats our plan of action
(7:01) pose(bi)don: well coran tried calling the police but that acxa chick was in and she laughed and told us to go fuck ourselves so
(7:01) sunshine: Yeah, we’re on our own.
(7:02) pose(bi)don: basically we are going to put together a stealth team to infiltrate their base and get our lion back
(7:02) kitty whisperer: by base do you mean the zoo
(7:02) pose(bi)don: of course thats what i mean, keep up, three days grace
(7:03) the alpha male: Since Lance did a stellar job of explaining everything and yet nothing, what we’re going to do first is locate where exactly in the zoo Charcoal is. Once we find out where they're keeping him, we strike.
(7:03) queen sappho: “strike” meaning sneak in at night and take him back
(7:03) pose(bi)don: hey! my explanation was amazing Thank You Very Much
(7:04) kitty whisperer: your explanation explained absolutely nothing. it actually inspired more questions. you did negative explaining
(7:04) pose(bi)don: thats not even possible
(7:04) kitty whisperer: you're not possible
(7:04) polar pop: oh get a room
(7:05) mathememetics: so we’re actually breaking in to the galra zoo? man this shit is getting intense
(7:05) polar pop: coran assigned a committee to decide who goes on the first mission and i think we’re about ready to make the announcement, right hunk?
(7:05) sunshine: Yeah.
(7:05) polar pop: should i do it?
(7:05) sunshine: Be my guest.
Altea Staff Chat (For Work-Related Conversations Only)
(7:06) Katie Holt (Igloo): the committee has made a ruling!
(7:06) Shay Aarden (Africa): Yup! We picked the people to go on the intel mission!
(7:06) Katie Holt (Igloo): drrrumroll please
(7:06) Aleki “Hunk” Garrett (Africa): brrrrrrrrrrrpatpatpatpppppatpaptpatpatpbrrrrrrrrrrrrr rumprumprumppatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatpatbrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
(7:06) Lance Acosta (Aquarium): brumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumbumbum
(7:06) Allura Alvarez (Australia): bddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
(7:06) Mathematics Holt (Aviary): ahslfjals;fhal;shfa;jg;alSKJa;sltgjffl;dk jgfsljfoisdknvoi;klsjfa;iwejrf;aklhgno;;ksjzfd
(7:07) Takashi Shirogane (North America): All right, enough with the bad sound effects.
(7:07) Katie Holt (Igloo): AND THE WINNERS ARE….
(7:07) Katie Holt (Igloo): THACE CLERIVIN, for his extensive knowledge and experience with the enemy territory
(7:07) Thace Clerivin (Cat House): Damn
(7:07) Katie Holt (Igloo): NYMA KINGSLEY, for her cunning and stealth
(7:08) Katie Holt (Igloo): KEITH KOGANE, for his extreme ninja skills and superior cat whispererness
(7:08) Keith Kogane (Cat House): Thanks, Pidge
(7:08) Katie Holt (Igloo): and also because he bribed us
(7:08) Keith Kogane (Cat House): Shh
(7:08) Katie Holt (Igloo): LANCE ACOSTA, for his bravery and determination, but mostly because we ship it
(7:08) Lance Acosta (Aquarium): wooh!!
(7:09) Lance Acosta (Aquarium): wait what
(7:09) Katie Holt (Igloo): shh
(7:09) Katie Holt (Igloo): and finally, MYSELF for my awesome techy skills and superior intellect
(7:09) Keith Kogane (Cat House): Great! When is this planned for?
(7:09) Coran Smythe (Your Boss): You five get together and come up with a game plan and a date. When you have your plan, see me and I’ll get you anything you need. Remember, this is a stealth operation only. Little to no contact should be made with Galra employees. We do not want to blow our cover.
(7:09) Lance Acosta (Aquarium): ooohhh we need to make a group chat
(7:09) Thace Clerivin (Cat House): We really don’t
(7:09) Katie Holt (Igloo): no lance wait
(7:09) Lance Acosta (Aquarium): hold up fam here we go
lancey lance created the chat super secret super spy squad
lancey lance added nyma kick ur ass , cat meowgane , x-files theme , and bite me daddy
(7:10) bite me daddy: Lance PLEASE
(7:10) lancey lance: my hand slipped ;)
(7:10) bite me daddy: Oh, this was a bad idea
(7:10) x-files theme: lance i don't even watch this show
(7:11) nyma kick ur ass: what the fuck is this
(7:11) lancey lance: we got picked to do the first operation: thundercat mission
(7:11) cat meowgane: operation: thundercat?
(7:11) lancey lance: yeah! bc charcoal is a lion like lion-o and his roar sounds like thunder and also it’s just a super lit show
(7:12) nyma kick ur ass: can't argue with that logic
(7:12) lancey lance: THANK YOU, nyma! someone here gets me
(7:12) cat meowgane: we need a game plan. anyone got any ideas how to get into the zoo?
(7:12) lancey lance: hmm
(7:13) lancey lance: maybe we could tunnel in?
(7:14) nyma kick ur ass: we could get employee uniforms and sneak in through the back
(7:14) x-files theme: i could hack into their security cameras
(7:14) bite me daddy: What would that accomplish
(7:14) x-files theme: idk i just feel like it will be necessary at some point
(7:15) cat meowgane: seriously guys. this isn’t a joke. we have to come up with a plan so we can go in there and find charcoal.
(7:15) lancey lance: don't worry, keith. we’ll get your lion back. we’re just trying to lighten the mood for you
(7:15) lancey lance: i vote we get some disguises and go in there and just look around like tourists. if they have charcoal they’re probably not showing him off just yet, so we have to find out where they could be keeping him. thace, you got any ideas?
(7:15) bite me daddy: I have a few. Is everyone available Friday?
(7:15) lancey lance: i am
(7:15) cat meowgane: yeah
(7:15) nyma kick ur ass: yup
(7:15) x-files theme: i guess i am
(7:16) bite me daddy: Great. That’s when we’ll go. We’ll split up: Lance and Keith will start in the east side of the park, Pidge and Nyma will search the west, and Coran and myself will search the center.
(7:16) lancey lance: wait, corans going?
(7:16) bite me daddy: He just messaged me, requesting to come with us. I accepted on behalf of the entire group
(7:16) x-files theme: oh
(7:16) nyma kick ur ass: wait why are the boys and girls split up? thace are you being sexist
(7:16) x-files theme: nah he just ships it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
(7:17) lancey lance: why do you keep saying that
(7:17) cat meowgane: what does it MEAN
(7:17) nyma kick ur ass: OH
(7:17) bite me daddy: We meet at the gates of the Galra Zoo tomorrow at oh eight hundred hours. Goodnight, team
(7:17) lancey lance: gnite daddy!! ;)
(7:18) bite me daddy: …
(7:18) bite me daddy: Goodnight to everyone except Lance
(7:18) lancey lance: hEy
(7:18) cat meowgane: to be fair you asked for it
(7:18) lancey lance: tO bE fAiR yOu CaN sHuT yOuR mOuTh
cat meowgane has left the group
(7:18) lancey lance: WAIT NO COME BACK
lancey lance added cat meowgane
(7:19) lancey lance: WHYD YOU LEAVE BRO
(7:19) cat meowgane: you were being mean to me
(7:19) lancey lance: IM SORRY
(7:19) cat meowgane: hm
(7:19) lancey lance: HOW WILL I EVER EARN YOUR TRUST ONCE AGAIN, FAIR PRINCE
(7:19) cat meowgane: well for starters you can turn off your caps lock
(7:20) lancey lance: *salutes* it is done, my lord
(7:20) cat meowgane: aand
(7:20) cat meowgane: you can replenish my stock of ice cream
(7:20) lancey lance: nadamoo rocky road?
(7:20) cat meowgane: you know me so well
(7:20) lancey lance: omw to target
(7:20) cat meowgane: :0 you're the best
(7:21) lancey lance: <3
(7:21) x-files theme: oh, get a room
(7:21) lancey lance: aslkdghaslfdjl;afj;a PIDGE
(7:22) bite me daddy: Please keep all non-work related conversations among yourselves
(7:22) lancey lance: yes daddy
(7:22) bite me daddy: DAMMIT LANCE