Chapter Text
Lance cried.
He sat there and cried, and when he was finished, he cried some more. Somewhere in the middle of it all, he had texted his mother, told her everything turned out to be fine, just that he would be home late. He didn't want to go back to his house, not yet. He didn't want his family to see him like this: puffy, tear-streaked. Broken.
They could've fought harder to keep him. Lance is sure he would've fought back just as hard, convinced he'd made the right decision. But they could've fought him harder on it. It had been so easy. Too easy, like they had just been waiting for him to say something first so they didn't have to try to kick him off the team.
Lance hiccups as another wave of tears hit him.
It's fine. It's fine. It's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine it's fine.
A broken sob breaks past his lips, unable to hold it in. He still can't tell if he's relieved or devastated. Both? Probably both.
The sun has long since set, the stars and moon his only light. Although the ocean is just a dark void before him now, the sounds of the gently rolling waves are still soothing. He misses Blue. He misses Red. He misses everything he only thought he had.
"Hey."
Lance startles, whipping around to the sudden voice. It's Keith. God, why is Keith of all people here? Lance sniffles loudly, furiously scrubbing away his tears. "I was expecting Hunk." he tries jokingly.
Keith stops a few feet away, looking down at him. "Shiro hasn't told the others yet. He thinks you'll change your mind."
Lance gives a short huff of a laugh that pains his heart. "And you?"
Keith sighs and sits down next to him. "I wanted a better goodbye." he admits quietly.
Lance's eyes sting, struggling to hold back more tears. "Good to know you think so little of me." He pauses. "Are you trying to spite me into coming back?"
He can just barely see the upward quirk of Keith's mouth. "Is it working?"
Lance laughs, a real, genuine laugh that makes his entire being hurt all the more. "No."
Keith hums something disappointed. They sit in silence, staring ahead at the dark water, just listening to sounds of the night. There's a thousand things Lance would like to say, but at the same time none of them matter anymore. He just tries to be content with this, a shared silence in good company. A proper farewell.
"Why didn't you tell anyone about Red?" Keith asks quietly after a long while.
Lance takes a slow, deep breath and exhales. "Dunno." he says honestly. "I guess I didn't say anything because... Because I knew it was coming? Or felt it, I guess...
Lance hears Keith's disgruntled little noise and just knows he's scowling. "But that doesn't make any sense! Why would Red--argh!"
Lance can't help but chuckle at the other boy's frustration. There's something charming about Keith's simple outlook. Or maybe there's just something charming about Keith. "Relax, Mullet. I'm flattered you think that I'm actually special, but face it. I was a terrible paladin. I was bad for the team and I was bad for Red. I couldn't even help Shiro, even when he was trying to reach out to me." Lance sighs, stretching his legs out and leaning back on his hands. He lets his chin sink onto his chest. "I was just a spare wheel," he says quietly, "a temporary fix to keep the team limping along until you and Shiro were back in commission."
Keith glares at him, lips pressed together and twitching. Even in the sparse light, Lance can see how deeply his frown cuts his features. "You are not a spare, Lance." he says emphatically, so sure of himself that Lance can't help but smile.
"When have I ever contributed anything significant to the team?"
Keith practically growls. "Are you kidding me?! Do you even realize how many times you've saved all our lives? My life? We'd all be dead without you!" Lance barks a tiny laugh; Keith's scowl intensifies. "For starters, you literally sacrificed yourself for Allura. You saved Coran when you didn't even know him! Lance, you saved me more times than I can count--without you, I would absolutely be dead! The whole team would be! If it weren't for you, I would've gotten us all killed trying to catch Lotor. Hell, if it weren't for you, we never would've even found the Blue Lion, much less have become Voltron!"
The smile Lance gives him is pained and pitiful. "You guys would've pulled through without me." he says, voice thick with barely contained emotion and tears. "One of you would've gotten through to Blue. I was just in the right place at the right time, filling in for a princess that just hadn't woken up yet."
The noise Keith makes is downright heart-wrenching. "It's not just about Voltron." he practically begs. "Lance, we need you, even if you're not in a lion, you're a part of our team, you're a part of our family."
The word spears straight through Lance's chest and steals all his breath. He can feel his tears threatening to return with a vengeance.
"You once told Allura that she's the heart of the team, but I don't think that's right. You bring us together, Lance, and you're the glue that keeps us together."
"Couldn't keep you, though."
"I--" Keith's voice cracks, clearly thrown off. "I..." he tries again, much quieter. "I left, for you, Lance..." he admits softly.
Lance stares at him, incredulous. "You said you left so Shiro could reconnect with the Black Lion." he says breathlessly. "You left because you hated being the leader."
"I mean," Keith looks away, pulling his knees to his chest. "Those were...factors, I considered, but that's not why I left." Keith takes a deep breath before continuing. "Back then... Even back then you were worried about your place on the team, but you're far more integral than I am, Lance, and I would gladly step aside again because I knew then what I know now--being a paladin made you happy."
"You made me happy."
The look on Keith's face punches all the air out of Lance; eyes wide and disbelieving. And then... He laughs.
It's quiet at first, but quickly builds, growing strong enough to shake his whole body. Lance can feel the earth open up beneath him and swallow him whole. How could he have admitted that? How could he have just blurted that out to Keith when he was so, so close to just letting it all go. The louder Keith's laughter grows, the harder his chest tightens around his heart, trying to squeeze it out of existence, but then...
Then it changes. Keith's laughter seamlessly melts into sobs, horrible wracking sobs that tear out his throat, trembling so violently it looks like it might tear him apart. His rakes a hand through his long hair, grabbing a fistful and pulling painfully.
"That's," he hiccups wetly, "that's the context? Now?" He futilely gasps for a breath as tears stream down his cheeks.
Lance is at a complete loss. He reaches out a hand to the shaking boy but doesn't let it connect. "Keith, I..."
Another horrible sob. "I didn't know!" he wails, tearing at his hair. "I didn't know I--that I--" He tries for another breath only for his lungs to stutter like broken motor. "The-the gravity wells and-and--space time, I--I didn't know! I didn't know that I was--that my mom and I were--two years, Lance!" Lance flinches away. "I was stuck for two. YEARS. And all that time I thought--I didn't think--" He sniffles loudly and buries his face in his hands.
"I thought about everyone every single day--I thought about you. I wondered if the war was over, I wondered if everyone was safe, I wondered if--and all the while I was stuck, useless on the slowest whale in the universe!" He took a deep breath, hands sliding down his face. "I wondered if you all thought I was dead. I wondered if you had looked for me. I..." He shakes his head. "But I had...hope, all because of that--that thing. It was like magic--it showed us the past, and--" his voice drops to barely a whisper, "and the future, or glimpses of it, at least."
He sighs, long and deep, and suddenly the older boy looked twice his age. "But there was no...context, to what I saw, just snippets here and there, and..." He closes his eyes, brows pinching in a heartbroken expression. "I saw this, us, here on this beach having this conversation, I--" Another sob breaks his composure. "You said I made you happy and, I... That's all I saw, but it was enough. Sometimes I'd think I'd been gone too long, that, surely, after all this time, you and Allura would--but that glimpse, that one tiny moment kept me hoping. Hoping that--that maybe it wasn't too late, that maybe you'd... Wait for me."
Keith glares daggers at his hands, clenching and unclenching his fists. "But then... Everything with Lotor--and Shiro, I--" He squeezes his eyes shut. "I was so worried, so panicked that I channeled everything into saving him and pushed everyone and everything else away--I pushed...you, away." Another tear slips down his cheek. "It'd been so long and I was so--happy to see you, but--" He shakes his head, long hair falling over his face. "I thought I had changed the future--that I'd ruined it." His voice breaks, as does the dam on his tears as they start flowing freely again. "And now here, now, this moment--this moment I had cherished for so long and I..." A shuddering breath leaves his lips. "Context." he rasps. "I never knew... Never thought, the context would be... This."
Lance isn't sure he's still breathing, his mind reeling to process everything just said. He closes his mouth and tries to swallow, tries to find words--any words--that would make this all better. "Keith," he tries, voice sounding foreign to his own ears.
Keith shakes his head slowly. "It's okay." His own voice is hoarse after his outburst. "I don't expect you to...to change your mind." He let's out a rattling breath and shifts to look at Lance; he looks worse than Lance feels and somehow that just makes Lance feel even worse. "I get it. I don't agree with your reasoning but... Lance, if we really make you feel that way, then... Then do what you think is best. For you." With great effort, Keith manages a small but pained smile. "I just want you to be happy, Lance."
"You jerk." Lance hiccups, his own tears falling fresh again. "You're still just trying to get me to come back out of spite."
Keith's smile grows, full of warmth and a knowing fondness that makes Lance cry harder.
"Why are you telling me all this now? Why didn't you say anything when-when you left?"
Keith's eyes fall shut and his smile strains all his features. "Because," comes his hoarse reply, "I was scared."
Lance can't help the broken laugh that tumbles from his lips; Keith still smiles.
"I was scared you would reject me, that everyone would reject me. And I lied because... Because I knew that if you knew why I left, that you'd try to stop me." He turns that horrid smile to Lance. "Lance, if you had known, if I had told you, you would've refused to pilot Red until I came back."
"You're damn right I would have."
They both laugh, the bittersweet sound fading into the night. They return to silence, both drained and raw. Lance feels...better, as strange as that is to think. He's still mourning everything he's lost, everything he could have had, but... He's okay, he thinks. He's at peace. He has closure.
By the time Keith speaks again, the moon has set over the horizon.
"Will you come back with me, to say goodbye to the others?"
Lance takes a deep breath and nods. "Yeah, I...I'd like that."
Keith stands first and offers a hand to Lance; he accepts it. They linger for a brief moment, an unspoken desire that neither quite dares to see through, before letting their hands fall to their sides with muttered thanks.
Keith leads them down the beach in silence. After a few minutes of walking, Lance is able to made out a faintly glowing, towering figure ahead of them.
"No, not now..." Keith mutters and picks up his pace.
Lance follows closely behind as they approach the Black Lion; her particle barrier is up. Keith's groan is long and suffering as he lays a hand on the barrier.
"She's been doing this lately."
Lance glances up at the intimidatingly large ship. "What's wrong?"
Keith sighs. "She being finicky." he grumbles. Lance quirks an eyebrow at him; he sighs again. "It's like... She can't decide who she wants to pilot her--sometimes it's me, sometimes it's Shiro. Sometimes she only opens up if we're both there." Keith tilts his head back to glare at the lion. "I don't understand, she didn't put up any resistance when I came here..."
Lance hums. It makes sense to him. Keith had earned her respect, but she still held a torch for Shiro. Lance could understand her indecisiveness.
An idea strikes Lance, something silly for old times' sake. "Hey Keith," Keith grunts and looks over; Lance grins. "Maybe you just need to knock."
Keith shakes his head fondly and rolls his eyes as Lance gently raps his knuckles against the barrier.
And then the whole thing dissipates.
The mischief falls off Lance's face as he and Keith stare at each other. His breath sticks in his throat as he slowly, agonizingly, turns to face the lion.
"Lance," Keith breaths out.
"I..." Lance can't get any words out. His hand remains frozen in the air, trembling where the barrier had been just moments ago.
It's...not real. It can't be. His lungs finally restarted only to take quick, shallow breaths. Keith steps towards him.
"Lance." he whispers, far, far too close. It sends a shiver up Lance's spine.
He's vaguely aware that he's minutely shaking his head. "It's... A trick. It can't..."
He takes a stumbling step forwards, then another, and another. Black doesn't push him out, in fact, he feels like he's being drawn in. Behind him, he can hear Keith's breath quicken. They make their way up the ramp and into the cockpit at a dizzying, dreamlike pace. Somewhere, buried deep in the back of Lance's mind, he can feel a pressure, warm and encouraging. He's barely inside the door, nowhere near the pilot's chair, but he lays a hand down on one of the consoles and the entire room lights up for him. He gasps a wet, shaking laugh, disbelief still stubbornly clinging to him even as a deep, rumbling purr fills his mind with warmth and comfort.
"This can't... It's a mistake, I..."
"Lance," there's Keith again, standing by his side and gazing around them in awe. "She chose you. The Black Lion chose you."
Lance lets out an uncertain sob, tinged with hope.
Keith wanders further into the cockpit. "This is why Red shut you out, this is why Shiro and I..." He turns back to Lance, smile radiant. "Lance, the Black Lion wants you to be her paladin."
Lance grips the console for support, knees weak. He feels light headed. "But... Why me? She could have you. She could have Shiro, I..." The purring in his mind grows stronger, nearly overwhelming him. "I'm not...worthy."
Immediately he's flooded with his own memories: guiding Allura, consoling Shiro, encouraging Hunk, protecting Pidge, supporting Keith--making strategic calls, putting the team before himself, deferring to the others and leading by example.
Tears cascade from his wide eyes as all these memories are tinged with love and trust.
"What's she saying?" Keith whispers.
Lance blinks away his tears to find the other boy staring at him. He gulps down a breath. "You can't hear her?" he rasps.
Keith shakes his head.
Black curls around Lance's thoughts once more, reminding him of his selfless deeds, of his protective and caring nature. She shows him the others' blind faith in Shiro, their frustration and reluctance with Keith's reckless leadership. And then she shows him himself, helping Pidge collect coins in a fountain, worrying endlessly over Allura's safety, going out of his way to keep Coran company, never leaving Hunk behind no matter how much he struggles or doubts himself. And she shows him him and Keith, how their relationship blossomed from begrudging to undying trust. She shows him how much he's grown. How he's earned each and every one of his teammate's respect.
"Lance?"
His focus switches back to Keith, Keith who never wanted to lead, who did so only because of Lance's faith in him, who left the team because he saw greatness in Lance, who wouldn't let him leave without closure.
Keith, a right hand that would do anything for him.
Lance laughs. Loud and a little hysterical, but also so, so happy. Keith absolutely beams at him, a fiercely proud smile Lance has never seen him wear before. It's all so much, a little too much, Lance starts to lose his balance but Keith swoops in and catches him.
They're both laughing now. Laughing and crying.
Their foreheads find each other, bumping together a little clumsily, pressing close and firm. Keith's grip on Lance's waist tightens and Lance squeezes his shoulders in return.
"Does this mean you'll stay?" Keith asks, voice breathless with laughter.
"Will you be my right hand?"
"Always."
Lance smiles so wide his face aches. He slides his hand off the console to cradle Keith's face, meeting his eyes. "Of course."
Keith leans into the touch, eyes crinkling with his smile. He's beautiful. Perfect.
Lance kisses him.
Keith sighs, melting against him. They move softly against each other, reveling in the other's warmth. When Lance moves away, he swears he can see every star in the universe twinkling in Keith's eyes. Lance strokes his thumb over his cheek.
"I'd always wait for you. Always."
Keith's face splits into a grin before he's surging forward to kiss Lance again. His chin, his nose, his jaw, his cheeks--anywhere and everywhere he can reach. Lance laughs, skin tingling, as he tries to maneuver to meet Keith's lips again. They connect once more in an impassioned kiss, pulling and pressing at each other like their lives depend on it. Keith breaks for air with a gasp, cheeks flushed a lovely crimson.
"Did you see this part of the future?" Lance asks as he presses a firm kiss to the crown of Keith's head while the other boy nestles into his neck.
Keith shakes his head. "No, but it's a pleasant surprise." Lance laughs and tilts Keith's chin up to plant another kiss on him. Keith hums, sinking into the contact. "I do know you're in for another growth spurt, though."
Lance pumps his fist. "Yesss. I miss being taller than you."
Keith purrs, kissing along Lance's jaw. "Just be patient."
A soft little noise escapes Lance as Keith moves to nibble at his ear. Lance leans back onto the console for support and is met with an amused noise floating through his mind, not unlike a chuckle. He swallows a curse. "M-maybe not with Black watching." he laments as he gently pushes Keith away.
Keith bites his lip and presses his face into the crook of Lance's neck. "Sorry."
Lance hums, combing his finger's through the other boy's long hair. "Don't be."
They stay like that for a long moment, just standing there, holding each other, before Lance gently nudges Keith with a contented sigh. "So I should probably go tell my family I'm leaving."
Keith hums, smoothing his hands over Lance's chest. "It's late. It can wait until morning."
Lance gives him an amused smirk. "Well then, we should at least go and make sure Red wants you back."
"She does."
Lance quirks an eyebrow. "Oh?"
Keith nods, all floaty and dreamy, and taps a finger to his temple. "She already told me."
"When?"
"Right after Black started talking to you."
Lance grins and pulls the other boy close again. "Then what should we do now?"
Keith wraps his arms around him again. "I have an idea..."
Then spend the rest of the night back on the beach, in Varadero. Holding each other and whispering sweet adorations. They watch the sun come up before returning to Lance's family home, and eventually back to the other paladins. They're greeted with hugs and awe, and a very relieved Shiro.
Lance is home.