Chapter Text
Dean woke up wrapped around Cas. In the morning he made them eggs, sunny side up. Jess had gotten in so they met her at the hospital as soon as visiting hours started. Sam had finally woken up so Cas waited outside while Jess and Dean visited, but soon after Dean came out to let Sam and Jess have their privacy.
"He's doing great. Say he'll make a full recovery after a little physical therapy."
Cas smiled, "That's great, Dean."
"Yeah, kid's tough..." They stood in an awkward silence for too long, neither wanting to breach the subject but both knowing they needed to. "Look, Cas..."
"Actually I have something to say," Dean nodded. He didn’t really know what he was going to say anyway. "I am not often selfish. In my line of work I don't get to be. I get to pile everyone else's problems on top of my own every day. And I've never wanted to be selfish more than when I am with you. I think I am well on my way to falling in love with you, Dean. And I don't think that is going to change." God, Cas looked so vulnerable. And scared. Like he just bared everything for Dean to take or leave. As if there was any chance of Dean turning him down.
“I don’t care that you know too much about me. I’m glad you do. I want to know that much about you, too.” Dean stepped back in Cas’ space and took his hand. “Let me take you to lunch. You can… tell me if your daddy issues are as bad as mine.” Cas laughed.
“I would like that very much.”
Dean beamed. “Great.”
A few days later Cas finally met Sam and Jess. Within a few months Dean had moved into Cas’ larger apartment. They got to know each other intimately, and in time Dean was able to share the feeling of knowing everything that made a person tick.
There was always some tension hanging over them in the beginning, though. Cas feared that they wouldn’t last, that Dean would get over whatever fleeting loneliness Cas had filled and he would be left with nothing. Dean didn’t have those fears though. He knew what he wanted, and what he wanted was Cas. As time went on, they proved to be more than some infatuation. That profound bond he felt between them didn’t go away.
They had been together for a year before Dean started feeling truly nervous about their future. Cas had been distant lately, working long hours. Usually they talked a lot, about basically anything. They would lie in bed and just talk about whatever crossed their minds, it had become Dean’s new therapy, just being with Cas. They hadn’t done that in over a week. Dean would talk and Cas would give these short, noncommittal answers. And now that Cas had got him started on all the feely crap it was driving him crazy thinking about it.
So it was really out of the blue when Cas told him one night they were going out to dinner. The place wasn’t crazy fancy or anything, but Cas had made reservations and he was wearing one of his nice slacks and button-ups. And he was nervous. Half an hour into dinner and Cas had dropped his fork twice and nearly spilled his wine all over himself. Dean was a wreck. The last time he went to a nice dinner with a guy this nervous he was about thirty seconds away from getting unceremoniously dumped. There was no way he’d get over losing Cas, no way he'd ever be anything but lonely without him.
Cas cleared his throat and fiddled with his tie. “Dean I wanted to talk to you about something. Um, I don’t really-“
“Please don’t.” Dean blurted. He had to, he couldn't just sit here and wait for Cas to dump him. “Look I know what you’re going to do-“
Cas laughed nervously. “I don’t think you do..."
He thought he didn't know? Was he serious? It was written all over Cas' face. “Cas, you take me to this place and you’re all nervous all night… I know. And just… don’t. I love you, Cas, and… don’t. Please?” Christ, he had resorted to begging Cas to stay with him, how pathetic was he?
"Oh." Was that it? Seriously? Cas didn't say anything else, but he looked upset. What the hell was Dean supposed to do now? “Why not?” Came Cas' quiet reply.
Dean was incredulous. Did Cas really not know why he would possibly want to stay together? Because I love you, because you're the best I'm ever gonna get, because I don't deserve you and I'm a selfish bastard. “What do you mean, why not?”
“I mean if you’re just going to reject the idea out of hand I think I deserve to know why.” He looked pissed now. Well sorry l derailed your plans to break my heart, dude.
“Wha- Cas I’m in love with you and I think whatever’s wrong we can fix it and-”
“Wait, Dean. What the hell are you talking about?” Oh God, he was doing that adorable head tilt thing that meant he had no idea what was going on.
“I don’t wanna break up with you, Cas!” Did he have to spell it out for him?
He didn't answer for a minute, just sort of stared. Then that furrow left his forehead and his face broke out in a smile and what the hell was happening? “Dean, you are an idiot.” Dean just gaped. “You really think I took you out to break up with you?”
“You didn’t?” Cas shook his head, the fucker was laughing. “Then why the hell have you been so weird around me lately?”
Instead of answering, Cas started digging through his suit jacket, pulled out a little velvety box, and placed it in front of Dean's plate. Was that... no, it couldn't be... “Dean, I am asking you to marry me.” Dean stared, his eyes wide. “I am sorry I have been distant, but I was afraid of letting something slip,” he had a small smile on his face.
Dean couldn't think anything, his mind had just gone blank with the entrance of that little black box. Five minutes ago he was convinced Cas was about to dump him and now he was getting proposed to. What the hell did he say? He had to say something, he couldn't just sit here gaping all night. “Oh,” he replied dumbly. Nailed it.
“I have never met anyone like you. I want nothing more than to spend the rest of my life with you, Dean. I love you.” This wasn't happening. Things like this didn't happen to Dean, he didn't get the things he wanted. “Typically, this is the time when you’d answer my question," Cas reminded softly.
“Y- yeah! Yes, I- Yeah, Cas. Of course I wanna marry you.” Cas absolutely beamed and Dean was grinning just as wide back. In that moment, Dean knew he was never going to be lonely again.