Chapter Text
Group: Nasties™
-
Joonie: there’s an enema kit on the floor and it isn’t even mine
Joonie: being gay is weird
-
Clams: ok so for some fucking reason our wchool was like
Clams: you know what says high school reunion? A rave
Clams: so now we’re at a rave
Minnie: wait what
Minnie: DAMN I WIHS I WAS THERE FUCK
Clams: there’s a baby here
Minnie: wait what
Clams: thgere’s
Clams: a child
Clams: someone brought their child to a rave
Minnie: what do you mean by child
Clams: I mean a head of romaine lettuce what do u think
Minnie: damn aight b no need to be salty
Clams: video attached
Minnie: WHAT THE FUCK
Minnie: THAT’S AN INFANT
Jungrat: wtf is that in the background
Jungrat: is that a furry
Clams: yes.
Jungrat: I’m really scared
Clams: as you should be
Sin Tin: His name’s Chanyeol
Minnie: the furry or the toddler
Sin Tin: The furry
Jungrat: I’;m so scared
-
P(r)i(nce)ss: I’m a country girl yee yee
Minnie: ????
Clams: I’m a country girl yee yee
Jungrat: hello????
Sin Tin: I’m a country girl yee yee
Minnie: PLS
Hobo: I’m a country girl yee yee
Minnie: WHAT IS THIS
-
Sin Tin: YOU GUYS
Sin Tin: THEY HUST PLAYED THE MOANA SONG
Sin Tin: BUT LIKE NIGHTCORE
Sin Tin: I’M FEELIN ALL KINDS OF UPSET
-
P(r)i(nce)ss: Anyway yeah sure I’d suck of zuckerberg
P(r)i(nce)ss: Hm. Wrong chat.
Minnie: Tae
Minnie: babe
P(r)i(nce)ss: Don’t
Minnie: I just realized smt
P(r)i(nce)ss: DONT
P(r)i(nce)ss: DONT SAY ANYTHIUGN
Minnie: u have a type
P(r)i(nce)ss: wait what
P(r)i(nce)ss: minnie what do u mean
P(r)i(nce)ss: ??? I’M SHAKING MINNIE WHAT DO U MEAN
-
Private Messages; Draco Malfoy’s Token Diversity Friend and Girthy Asian Penis
Draco Malfoy’s Token Diversity Friend: hobi what would u do if my ass grew teeth
Girthy Asian Penis: die
Draco Malfoy’s Token Diversity Friend: valid
-
Clams: MAN I FUCKING LOVE DOGS
Joonie: It’s three in the morning where are you????
Sin Tin: The rave ended so now we’re at a park and there are so many dogs here
Clams: I LVOE DOGS
Sin Tin: I’ve lost him
-
Private Messages; He/Him Lesbian and PeeTSD
He/Him Lesbian: taetae
He/Him Lesbian: what would u do if my pussy grew teeth
PeeTSD: brush them
PeeTSD: obviously
-
Hobo: im so high I just called jin my own name
Hobo: I just turned to him and said hey hobi look at this
Hobo: then just stood there for like three minutes thinkin bout how stupid that sounded
Hobo: I dont even know what I was gonna show him
-
Private Messages; Cutie Pie and CUNK
Cutie Pie: what would u do if I had anal teeth
Cutie Pie: ...
Cutie Pie: yoongi?
-
Clams: Yo this weed tastes like pussy
Minnie: ANSWER UR DMS COWARD
Clams: I REFUSE
Minnie has changed Clams’s nickname to Twink Dick
Twink Dick: MINNIE WHY WOULD U DO THIS TO ME
Twink Dick: WAIT WHAT THE FUCK WAS IT BEFORE
-
Sin Tin: Queer culture is being on a first name basis with your significant other’s parents and also secretly having a lot of beef with them
Joonie: YEAH
-
Private Messages; Sativica and borb
Sativica: kookie my love what would u do if my ass had teeth
borb: nothing idc
Sativica: u rly wouldn’t care
borb: why would I it’s not like I top
Sativica: U RITE
borb: the real question is why u didnt ask in person
-
Sin Tin: If I have watermelon water does the water and the water cancel out and it’s just melon
Joonie: No
Sin Tin: shhhhhhhh
Twink Dick: MY OLD MATH TEACHER JUST MADE A VORE JOKE I’M GONN AEAT MY FUCKING EYES
P(r)i(nce)ss: Don’t it’ll turn him on
Twink Dick: FUCK
-
Joonie: Jungkook just power walked 2.5k in like, 15 minutes, because I said I wanted a hug
Joonie: He is too powerful
Jungrat: it cos I lub u
Joonie: I’m really scared
-
Joonie: Is it just me or did everyone get like 10 times wilder in daegu
Sin Tin: It’s not just you
Minnie: quick question wyd if my ass had teeth
Joonie: Cry
Sin Tin: Bleed, probably.
Minnie: I see, I see, uh, thank you Boyfriend Seokjin for providing the most disturbing answer yet,
-
Jungrat: I love lemons theyre just zesty little men doing their best
Twink Dick: lemon stealing whore
Jungrat: ????
Twink Dick: fuckin
Twink Dick: lemon thief
Jungrat: I didn’t steal any lemons wgat are iyu sayting
Twink Dick: DO YOU NOT KNOW THE LEMON WHORE VIDEO
Jungrat: WHAT LEMON WHORE VIDEO
Twink Dick: OH MY GOD
Twink Dick: GET ON RABBIT RIGHT NOW OR I’M DIVORCING YOU
Jungrat: ??? we’re not even married ?????
Twink Dick: yet
Jungrat: what
Twink Dick: what
-
Joonie: Kookie just finished his tests and now he’s stoned as shit
Joonie: Minnie and I were talking and he blacked out on the floor
Joonie: Then I said “Bryan Deckert” and he immediately sat up, shouted “BRYAN DECKERT IS A HOT PIECE OF ASS”, and blacked out again.
Sin Tin: WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE BLACKED OUT ONT HE FLOOR DID HE FALL
Joonie: Oh no he’s fine
Joonie: He laid down on the floor, said he was just doing it cause his back hurt, and passed out
Sin Tin: Oh
Twink Dick: I’m really glad I’m dating that
P(r)i(nce)ss: Same