Chapter Text
[LINDA MILES ENTERED “THE ROAST OF JACOB EMMANUEL STEWART”]
[DEREK CHANNING ENTERED “THE ROAST OF JACOB EMMANUEL STEWART”]
[LINDA MILES RENAMED CHAT “EVERYONE BEHAVE”]
Derek Channing: It is time to evaluate the efficiency and efficacy of this project.
Derek Channing: So the logs of this chat room will be sent to Justice & Regulation of the Victoria State Government.
[THE ACTUAL GOVERNOR ENTERED “EVERYONE BEHAVE”]
Linda Miles: You're joking.
[WILL JACKSON ENTERED “EVERYONE BEHAVE”]
[TOP DOG ENTERED “EVERYONE BEHAVE”]
Derek Channing: Why would I?
Juice: [emoji rolling on the floor laughing]
The Governor: Derek, have you read the log yourself?
Derek Channing: Should I?
Bridget Westfall: Perhaps.
The ACTUAL Governor: Please don't. Read it. Send it.
Allie Novak: Please do. Read it. Send it.
Derek Channing: Please hold.
Franky: What are you, a helpdesk? Please hold?
The Governor: He is abouT as useful as one.
Derek Channing: ...I see
Derek Channing: Well, you have brought this onto yourselves.
[AUTOMATED BROADCAST ACTIVATED. BROADCAST INITIALISING. PREPARING UPLOAD FILE. T MINUS THREE MINUTES.]
The ACTUAL Governor: Oh my God.
Allie Novak: The madman actually did it!
The ACTUAL Governor: I'm going to lose my job over a mobile chat.
Derek Channing: All by your own doing.
[T MINUS TWO MINUTES]
The Governor: You are misTaken, Derek.
Derek Channing: What?
Derek Channing: What are you blabbering on about, Freak?
The Governor: The log clearly sTates thaT you were the one to add me, an inmaTe, to the users, and you were the one who promoTed me to moderaTor.
The Jake: Holy shit.
[T MINUS ONE MINUTE]
The Governor: In facT, Miss BenneTT and Miss WesTfall have worked around the clock to repair and conTrol YOUR misTake.
The Governor: So tell us, MisTer Channing.
[T MINUS THIRTY SECONDS]
The Governor: Are you willing to risk iT?
[T MINUS FIFTEEN SECONDS]
Derek Channing: Fuck you.
[BROADCAST CANCELLED]
Bridget Westfall: Thank God.
[SELF-DESTRUCTION PROTOCOL ENABLED]
The ACTUAL Governor: What?!
Derek Channing: We can't risk this ever leaking!
Linda Miles: Oh bloody hell.
[LINDA MILES RENAMED CHAT “APOCALYPSE NOW”]
[LOG WILL BE DESTROYED IN ONE MINUTE]
Allie Novak: I feel sad.
Boomer: Do we organise a funeral for the chat?
The ACTUAL Governor: No.
Boomer: Aw.
Allie Novak: Can we get Snapchat then instead?
The ACTUAL Governor: NO!
Franky: Aw.
Franky: I was looking forward to some hot pics.
Bridget Westfall: In your dreams.
Franky: You know it!
Marie Winter: Well, this has been short and certainly not sweet.
Drago: Збогом.
Rita Connors: Shut up, you Serbian degenerate.
[LOG WILL BE PERMANENTLY DELETED IN TWENTY SECONDS]
Will Jackson: The end of an era.
Bridget Westfall: I'm just happy no one will ever get to read this.
Ruby Mitchell: See ya.
Juice: *emoji sad face*
The ACTUAL Governor: Joan?
The Governor: Yes?
The ACTUAL Governor: ...thank you.
[CHAT IS BLOCKED]
[DELETING LOG…]
[DELETING LOG…]
[LOG DELETED]
[REMOVING ALL USERS]
[SERVER REMOVED DEREK CHANNING, VERA BENNETT, LINDA MILES, WILL JACKSON, JAKE STEWART, MARGOT MCCARTNEY, BRIDGET WESTFALL, JAKE STEWART, JOAN FERGUSON, LEE RADCLIFFE, ALLIE NOVAK, SUE JENKINS, ELIZABETH BIRDSWORTH, SONIA STEVENS, KIM CHANG, TINA MERCADO, FRANCESCA DOYLE, LUCY GAMBARO, KAREN PROCTOR, MEG JACKSON, RITA CONNORS, RUBY MITCHELL, MARIE WINTER, ZARA DRAGOVIC, READER]
[UNKNOWN 1 ENTERED UNNAMED CHAT]
Unknown 1: Finally! You all have a terribly strong firewall!
Unknown 1: Hello?
Unknown 1: Oh, just my fucking luck.
[UNKNOWN HAS LEFT UNNAMED CHAT]
[PREVIOUS USERNAME DETECTED]
[SERVER HAS RENAMED UNKNOWN 1: “BEA SMITH”]
[SERVER SHUTTING DOWN…]
[IT IS NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER]