Chapter Text
Ethan thought he was about to go insane. He was cold, and tired, and wet, and tired, and hungry, and oh God, so fucking tired. His mind felt as though it were compacting in on itself, and all his thoughts were slowly getting more and more compressed and disoriented. His body ached constantly, and his back was alight with pain and raw where newly formed scars were crawling their way up his back. His hands, shaking and far beyond his own personal control, were rapped in his jacket, as an attempt to warm them up. He wanted to cry, to scream, to collapse, but he still stood, waiting and patient, because he needed to see Benji. All this was for him, but Ethan knew he would be worth every damn second. He always was.
It had been two months since he had last had any contact at all with the technician, and when you work in the IMF, two months is a long time. Anything can happen in that amount of time and as Ethan had learned, people could die, governments could fall and rise, and new world order could be installed. Or, in Ethan’s case, he had joined an extremist Right Wing terrorist group, who had named themselves ‘Earth’s Hope.’ He had finally made his move two days ago, and killed every single member but one of the group during a meeting, once again saving millions. It wasn’t over yet though, and as if to prove this, their blood, mixed into a indistinguishable cocktail now, was still matted in his hair and smeared down his top and jacket. He was still on the hunt for the final member, who had managed to weasel his way out of the mess while Ethan had been too preoccupied with other matters. Ethan would be damned if he didn’t find him, he didn’t come home until he had finished the job.
However, all he needed right now was a rest so he could fully function, and track this bastard down properly. When he had heard that Benji was only a two hour flight away, Ethan had wasted no time in arranging a private flight, and instantly flew to West Canada, unable to resist temptation.
The ‘hugging incident’ had been six months ago now, and it seemed so far off Ethan was really starting to question if it had happened. During his days in the facility that the group had lived and worked in, Ethan had thought of Benji every night, and every morning to give him the motivation he needed. Benji’s bright smiles, his terrible puns, his incredible, firm body that weaved and curved It’s way out of danger, but most importantly,the energy and hope he gave him. Ethan knew, as long as Benji was there, everything was worth fighting for. Absence really does make the heart fonder.
That was why he was waiting, in the pouring rain with only his duffel bag for company, outside the cabin Benji was apparently staying in. He was in a remote valley, that had taken Ethan two hours to cycle to (he was too broke to afford car hire), with huge forests that reached for the atmosphere and even taller mountains that touched stars.
Finally, a light flickered to life in front of the window, and, three seconds later, (the longest three of Ethan’s life), the door opened.
Benji stood, tall and strong, wearing a bright yellow shirt, black trousers and black braces. He was holding a mug which had steam drifting peacefully from the top of it in one hand, and in the other, his gun, pointed at the floor. Both of these items fell to the floor with a loud crash when he saw Ethan, and he just did nothing but stare for a few seconds. Then, with a loud intake of air he launched himself at Ethan, and suddenly the brunette was being held. Benji’s beautiful arms were wrapping around his waist, and his long fingers running through Ethan’s hair. His heart was beating fast, Ethan could hear it because his head was pressed into Benji’s torso, and only then did he realise he has sunken to his knees. But it was okay. It was all okay now, because Benji was here.
“Ethan! Oh thank God!” Benji breathed. Hearing his name on Benji’s lips did things to Ethan, and he closed his eyes and breathed in Benji’s sent, never so glad to smell tea in his entire life.
“C’mon, we can chat later. I need to get you inside.” Benji pulled away, and heaved Ethan up, leaving the mug and gun in the carpet as he closed the door, locked it, and walked him into what appeared to be a lounge. He placed Ethan down carefully onto a sofa, and glanced him over.
“Well, you need to get out of these clothes first, they’re soaked, and then you’ll need a shower, coffee, and bed. In that order.” He nodded to himself, and Ethan gave him a lopsided smile, too tired to talk. But that didn’t matter. All that mattered was he was safe now. Benji lead Ethan upstairs, and into a bathroom, where, after helping Ethan out of most of his clothes, Benji left with a promise to return as soon as he had finished his shower. The steaming hot water was wonderful, and Ethan stayed under it for such a long time, he could feel his skin turning wrinkly. Not having the effort to stand in the shower, Ethan had decided to just sit on it, and he watched as all the water ran pink and red as the blood was washed out. He washed his hair with Benji’s shampoo, cleaned his body with Benji’s shower gel before stepping out the shower and drying off with Benji’s towel. He then changed into the clothes laid out for him, and feeling slightly replenished, made his way downstairs.
“Benji?” He called, as he wandered down into the kitchen, following the sound of music on a radio. It was a fast, classical piece that sounded very much like the rain outside, but with more comfort laced into it. Beni was leaning against the counter, tapping away with his hand absentmindedly to the soft piano tune and stirring a mug of something. He looked wonderful, Ethan thought. His hair looked gold in the light and his eyes sparkled so brightly they put even the finest of diamonds to shame.
“How are ya feelin’?” He asked, passing Ethan the mug of coffee.
“Better. But still tired.” Ethan murmured. He slumped against the counter, exhausted. Benji jumped up and sat on the work surface opposite him, and beamed down at the older man. Ethan thought his legs would give way if Benji kept smiling like that.
“I bet. How the hell did you even end up here?” He asked. “If you don’t mind me asking that is. In just thought you were meant to be in some top secret ‘Benji can’t know about any of this’ mission.”
“I was, still am. I just needed one nights break and heard you weren’t far away.” Ethan sipped his coffee. “I should ask the same for you.”
“I guess that’s fair. There’s a major virus on the Secretaries hard drive, and I need to fix it. I just didn’t want to do that in that office. I had spent too long there recently you know- and I felt boxed up. They offered me this safe house as a ‘holiday get away.’ Of course I said yes.” He said. “Meant to be good for my mental health or somethin’. Though there ain’t anything wrong with it as far as I’m concerned.”
“That’s true.” Ethan laughed. God he had missed Benji’s jokes. He had missed Benji.
“Did you miss me?” Ethan tried, hoping to get the answer he wanted oh so badly out of Benji.
“Yes, a million times over.” Benji nodded. “I was worried Ethan. I mean, I always am. And I know you’re gonna be alright, ‘coz you’re bloody Ethan Hunt. You always make it, it’s just- I don’t know….” he looked down into Ethan’s eyes, understanding and warmth dancing in his own.
“I understand.”Ethan whispered. And he did.
“Yeah…” Benji trailed off.
Without warning, he jumped off the counter and stepped up to Ethan, suddenly invading his personal space. Again. Ethan’s breathing hitched slightly, but he tried to cover it up with a sniffle. Benji didn’t look like he was buying it though.
“Dance with me?” Ethan blurted out, unable to stop himself. The music had changed now into a beautiful piece, this time slow and droning, every note meaningful and full of emotion.
“Okay.” Benji whispered. Ethan’s heart leapt, and his stomach dropped. This was either a very good idea, or a very bad one.
When Benji’s hands looped around Ethan’s neck, and he brought their bodies flush together, Ethan concluded it had indeed been a very good idea. Their noses were so close they bumped slowly as Ethan wound his own arms around Benji’s back, and Ethan could feel the technicians breath on his lips. They slowly started to pivot and spin around the room, hardly in time, but neither noticed, too enraptured by the other. God, how Ethan wanted to kiss him.
This type of contact seemed different to the hug. Any two friends can hug, but this was a different experience, and far more intimate. It was better.
“Did you miss me?” Benji breathed, his voice barely a ghost on his full lips.
“Yes.” Ethan replied. “I thought about you every day.” He looked at Benji’s lips, and was shocked to see, when he looked back up again, Benji was staring at his.
‘Surely not!’ He anticipated. Surely, Benji didn’t like him back. That was an insane idea, and yet, there he was. Benji looked back up, and realised Ethan had noticed. The cherry blossom colour his cheeks turned was stunning, and he stopped dancing.
“Ethan-“ he stuttered.
“Yes?”
“I- I thought about you every day too.”
That was it.
‘Fuck it.’ Ethan concluded. Fuck it all, he was going to do it. If he ruined the friendship, then so be it. He had to try. He closed his eyes, and, with extreme precision and care, as to allow Benji to pull away if he wanted to, he pressed his lips to Benji's.
At first neither did anything. Ethan was too scared to do anything, whether that be to pull away or start moving his lips. But thankfully, Benji seemed to make that decision for him. He opened his mouth gently, and then closed it again, placing a definitive kiss on Ethan. Ethan almost died from relief. He too started to kiss with more force, nothing lustfull, not yet at least, and it was wonderful.
Benji made a small noise that did things to Ethan, and before he knew it, he had lead Benji back to the surface, and was kissing him against it. Benji was delicate, and wet and warm, and delicious. He tasted every bit as amazing as Ethan knew he would, like coffee and love.
He started to card his hands through Benji’s wonderful, soft, golden hair, and pulled Benji’s body closer to his. All this was so perfect and surreal Ethan needed to hold onto something to, to ground him from floating away.
Then a flicker of Benji’s tongue against his lips, and Ethan whimpered slightly, parting his lips for Benji instantaneously. Benji kissed him deeply and meaningfully, sending shivers down his spine like ripples making their way through water.
They break apart after that, and Ethan keeps his eyes closed for a second before opening them, savouring the bliss, Benji is looking at him with such exhilaration and happiness, and his lips are slightly redder than usual.
“You’re beautiful.” Ethan couldn’t help himself saying this, but something told him it was okay.
“Look who’s talking.” Benji giggled, and Ethan would be damned if he didn’t think that was cute. Never, in all his life had he heard Benji giggle. He loved it. He yawned slightly, and Benji laughed again.
“Still tired eh?”
“Yeah.”
“Well at least we got this resolved.” Benji grinned. “I’ve been wanting to do that for ages.”
“Funnily enough, so have I.” Ethan said. “And it was every bit as good as I thought it would be.”
“Well there’s plenty more where it came from. But now-“
“Bed.” Ethan finished.
“Precisely.” Benj nodded, “How is it you always know what I’m thinking?”
“Because you’re everything.”
“Nah. But you are.”
After that, the two made their way upstairs, coffee left cold and forgotten on the kitchen counter, two in body, but one in heat and spirit. Ethan slept for the first time in two months.