Chapter Text
Matt’s ceremony is beautiful. There are white roses everywhere--on Matt’s grave, in Pidge’s and Colleen’s hair, pinned to Sam’s lapel. Keith holds two in his hands, unsure of what to do with them. The four of them are the only ones in the cemetery so far--he’d come early to help set up--and the first thing Pidge had done was hand him two flowers.
“We’re giving one to every guest,” she’d explained, forcing the roses into his hands.
“What am I supposed to do with the other one?” Keith had asked. His question had gone unanswered.
He tucks one of the flowers behind his ear, and the other one in the breast pocket of his blazer. He’d decided to dress formal today, and he’s glad he did; everyone else is in fancy suits and dresses. Even Pidge, who he hasn’t seen in a dress in months.
Aside from the roses, the Holts had kept the decoration simple. There are a few folding chairs in a semicircle around a makeshift podium next to Matt’s grave, and a little table with photos of the Holt family on the other side. Pidge is standing at the shrine, holding Matt’s last yearbook picture in her hands.
“You doing okay?” he asks, wandering over to her.
“Yeah,” Pidge says, wiping her nose on her sleeve. “I’m good.”
Keith looks down at the picture, smiling when he sees Matt holding up blurry peace signs. “They tried to stop him from doing that, didn’t they?” he asks.
“Yeah,” Pidge replies, shaking her head with faux exasperation. “He was so happy he got them in, though.”
“Sounds like him.”
Keith surveys the rest of the shrine with interest. Aside from numerous pictures of Matt, there are other little things scattered around that link back to him. A model spaceship he recognizes from Pidge’s room (Matt had always been interested in space, just like Lance is), a bottle of pickle-flavored soda (which he’d tried to trick Pidge into drinking once a few summers ago), and a pair of old headphones Keith remembers from the first christmas he’d spent with Pidge.
“This looks nice,” he says, gesturing to the table.
“Thanks.” Pidge sniffs. “It was my idea. I thought we should put something together so we can remember him better.”
“Well, it’s really cool you did that,” Keith says, patting her awkwardly on the shoulder. Pidge sniffs again, then smiles at him.
“We should finish setting up,” she says, turning away. “Mom made name tags for everyone so they know where to sit.”
“You guys have a seating chart?” Keith asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Yeah. Mom, dad, and I are gonna be in the middle, Shiro’s next to dad, and you and Lance are on the other side.”
Keith stiffens, his eyebrows automatically drawing together. “Pidge…” he protests, “you know Lance doesn’t want that, right?”
“I thought it was ‘just a disagreement’,” Pidge quotes, crossing her arms. Keith flinches.
“Well, it might have been a little more than that…” he admits. “I don’t know, Pidge. Do you think Shiro and I could switch seats?”
“Yeah, of course,” Pidge agrees easily. “I just thought… Well, nevermind. I’ll tell mom now.”
“Thank you,” Keith sighs, the tension melting out of his body. He feels bad for avoiding Lance like a coward when he’s the one who messed up in the first place, but he wants the ceremony to go well, and another shouting match isn’t exactly his definition of “well”.
“No problem,” Pidge replies, already turning away. “I’ll be right back.”
Keith watches her go with a frown. What was Pidge thinking? That she can resolve their fight by giving him an extra flower and seating the two of them together? He wishes it was that easy, but if there’s one thing he’s learned over the past couple of months, it’s that emotions are never easy.
He takes a deep breath to calm himself down, putting all thoughts of Lance out of his mind for now. He looks back at the shrine, smiling ruefully at the old photos. He’d always been better friends with Pidge, despite being closer in age to Matt, but the three of them would still hang out together often. He remembers when he’d first met them a couple of years ago--he’d been visiting Shiro in his new house, when Pidge had crashed into him on Matt’s skateboard, her brother chasing behind her frantically. Nobody had been seriously hurt, but Matt had insisted on ushering them into the Holts’ house to be checked over.
Keith reaches into his pocket and grabs the photo he’d brought. It’s a picture of Pidge and Matt that he’d taken the day of Matt’s graduation. They’d only known each other for a short amount of time before the picture was taken, but Keith still remembers it almost perfectly. Matt had tripped on the stage, the principal had read his name wrong, and he’d almost immediately dropped his diploma into a puddle of mud, but he’d still come back to them with the biggest smile on his face. They’d all been so happy for him.
“Hey.”
Shiro places a hand on his shoulder gently, coming up behind him. He stares down at the shrine sadly, then turns his attention to the photo in Keith’s hand.
“Turned out nice, didn’t it?” Keith says. “I didn’t know they were gonna make something for him. I brought the picture for Pidge, but…”
“It belongs up there,” Shiro agrees with a smile. Keith nods and sets the photo down next to the spaceship gently.
“How’s Pidge doing?” Shiro asks, glancing towards the Holt family.
“She seems okay,” Keith says with a shrug. “I mean, sad, but okay.”
“That’s good.” Shiro pats him on the shoulder before dropping his hand. “You’ve done a great job with helping her out, you know.”
“Yeah, right,” Keith laughs bitterly. He hasn’t told Shiro about Lance’s brother or their fight, but he seems to have picked up the sense that something happened between them on his own. “All I did was push her in the wrong direction,” he continues.
“That’s not true, Keith,” Shiro says gently. “You went over to her house every weekend to make sure she felt comfortable with Lance. You broke off your first date with him just to make sure she got home safe. What else do you call that?”
Keith sighs, unwilling to argue with Shiro at the moment. “I guess,” he says instead, adding another shrug for good measure. He still feels awful about getting in the way of Pidge’s healing process, but she’s already forgiven him a million times over for his interference.
“You’re a good friend, Keith,” Shiro says. “Don’t beat yourself up over your mistakes. You’re only human, after all.”
Maybe, Keith thinks, remembering his fight with Lance. Even if it hadn’t been intentional, he’d still been a huge jerk, so he figures he deserves to beat himself up at least a little bit. He can’t help but feel like Shiro’s talking about the fight too, although he can’t be entirely sure. After all, he still hasn’t told Shiro the details of the night Pidge ran away. He figures Lance doesn’t want everyone to know about his brother, and even if he didn’t mind, it’s not Keith’s place to go spreading around information like that.
“I’m going to go talk to Colleen,” Shiro says, looking over at the Holt family again. “Good luck today, Keith.”
Yep, Keith thinks, he definitely knows more than he’s letting on. He sighs, turns to go back to his seat, and freezes.
Lance is standing a couple of yards away, watching him. His hair is combed back and he’s wearing a nice pair of black jeans and a gray sweater. He’s still got dark circles under his eyes, but it looks as if they’ve lightened since Keith last saw him. Less tired, more composed. He makes eye contact with Keith for a couple of seconds before turning away. Keith watches as Pidge approaches him, pointing to the semicircle of chairs, then to the shrine. (At least, Keith hopes she’s pointing to the shrine. He steps out of the way just in case.) Lance nods along to everything that she says, smiling at something Keith can’t hear.
He’s glad Lance is smiling again, even if it’s only for Pidge’s sake.
Shiro, Sam, and Colleen are already sitting down, so Keith goes to join them. He takes a seat by Sam as Pidge guides Lance to his seat next to Shiro on the other side of the semicircle.
“Should we get started?” Colleen suggests, looking up at Pidge. “You ready, honey?”
“Yeah,” Pidge says quietly, nodding. She brushes off her dress and goes to stand next to Matt’s grave, carefully stepping around the flowers on the ground. She glances nervously at Keith, who gives her a thumbs-up in return.
“Hi,” Pidge says, dipping her head awkwardly. “Um, thank you for coming. I know some of you probably have better stuff to be doing, but… It means a lot that you’re here.”
Keith casts a glance over at Lance, who’s got all his attention focused on Pidge. He seems serene, with his legs crossed, hands folded atop his knee, watching like there really isn’t anything he’d rather be doing. It’s relieving to see him like this.
He turns his attention back to Pidge quickly, before Lance notices him staring.
“Um…” Pidge hesitates for a few moments, making eye contact with Keith again before she continues. “Matt was my brother… My older brother. We grew up together. We were always really close.”
Her expression flickers for a second and she glances down at the ground, playing with her hands nervously. The next time she looks up, it’s not towards Keith, but towards Lance.
“We were really close,” she says again, gaining confidence. “He was one of my best friends. I couldn’t have asked for a better brother… And he’s gone now. He died.”
Keith can see her eyes shining behind her glasses, but she blinks the tears away quickly. “For a long time, I didn’t want to talk about it. I mean, it was all I could think about for weeks after it happened. Why would I want to think about it even more? So I closed myself off and pretended like everything was normal, and I refused to let anyone try to help me. I just wanted to be left alone.
“But it didn’t help. It didn’t work. Nothing did. I still fell asleep thinking about Matt being gone, and I still woke up missing him more than I thought was possible. And I still thought that everything would just fix itself if I kept ignoring it… And then my mom hired Lance.”
Keith raises an eyebrow, glancing towards the other half of the semicircle again. He hadn’t known that Pidge was planning on including Lance in her speech.
“I think she hired him to get me to talk,” Pidge says, rubbing at her nose. “But we still didn’t talk. He just… reminded me a lot of Matt. Having him around made me feel like my old self, and I guess it made talking about it easier, too. And after I ran away, it was him who helped me realize… That life’s too short to spend it suffering.”
Pidge removes her glasses and rubs at her eyes, taking a deep breath before she continues. “I didn’t want to keep up the act anymore. I mean, Matt being gone sucks, and talking about it sucks too… But it feels so much better to talk about it than it did when I was just carrying his memory around by myself. It really feels like things are getting better. So I guess I just want to thank everyone here for helping me realize that I don’t need to bottle things up all the time. And I think Matt would have wanted to thank you, too.”
Pidge rushes to sit back down as soon as she finishes speaking, but everyone applauds for her nonetheless. Keith watches as she wipes at her eyes again, then replaces her smudged glasses. Colleen and Sam wrap their arms around her and smile at each other gently.
“I guess I’ll go next,” Sam says after a minute, removing himself from the family hug and standing by Matt’s grave. “I didn’t really prepare a full speech, but…”
Keith glances over at Lance again, then frowns. Lance’s eyebrows are drawn together, and he’s staring at the ground in concentration. He almost looks… frustrated?
He looks away before somebody catches him staring, snapping his attention back to Sam, but his mind is stuck on Lance. He wishes he could ask what’s going on, if he’s okay, but he’s not sure if approaching Lance would make things better or worse. After their last few encounters, he doubts Lance wants to be anywhere near him for the foreseeable future.
Keith sighs, running a hand through his hair. He can deal with this later. Right now he needs to focus on being there for Pidge.
Sam and Colleen’s speeches go by quickly, and before Keith knows it, the formal part of the ceremony is over. The Holts surprise everyone by grabbing a big blanket and a couple containers of food out of the trunk and extending the event into a picnic. Shiro agrees to stay, so Keith does too. He’s got nothing better to do, and even though it does seem a little strange to have a picnic in a graveyard, if it makes Pidge happy, that’s all he can ask for.
He helps Sam spread the blanket out while Shiro and Colleen pass out paper plates and water bottles. Pidge lays the containers of food in the middle of the blanket, then takes the corner closest to Matt’s grave as her own. Keith pretends not to see her set a plate of food next to it for him, just like he’d pretended not to notice that the Holts had prepared all of Matt’s favorite foods. Even though he’s glad Pidge has opened up, he figures there are some things that don’t need to be mentioned.
The five of them sit down together, Keith in between Pidge and Shiro. He can’t see Lance from where he’s at, and he doesn’t dare ask if he’d left already or not. Instead he takes a bite of one of the mini peanut butter and jelly sandwiches and tries to pay attention to the conversation. He laughs along as Colleen tells stories of Matt as a kid, and smiles ruefully when Pidge talks about their plans to explore space together when they grew up. He’s just taken a bite of his third sandwich when he feels a tap on his shoulder.
He glances up and freezes, letting the rest of his sandwich fall back onto his plate. Lance is standing in front of him, one hand hanging loosely by his side and the other shoved into his pocket awkwardly. So he didn’t leave, Keith thinks, subconsciously wiping crumbs off his fingers. But then, what’s he been doing all this time?
“Hey,” Lance says, almost nervously. Keith swallows, abandoning his place on the blanket.
“Uh, hey,” he says awkwardly as he stands. “How- How are you?”
“Better,” Lance replies, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “Definitely better.”
“That’s good to hear,” Keith says, shoving his hands into his pockets. He has no idea what Lance wants with him, and he’s too afraid to guess at this point.
“So… I came to…” Lance trails off uncertainty, scratching his head. “Can you come with me for a minute?”
“Sure,” Keith agrees, confused. Maybe Lance is leading him away so he can yell at him for being insensitive without disrupting the ceremony. Of course he wouldn’t want to ruin the day for Pidge.
Lance leads him past rows of gravestones, lined up neatly side by side. Keith reads the name on the nearest one in every row, recognizing none of them. Despite what people might think about him, he doesn’t spend much of his time hanging out in cemeteries. A couple of rows later, they take a sudden turn, then come to a stop.
“What’s going on?” Keith asks when Lance doesn’t say anything for a minute. He glances around, wondering why they could have stopped here, until his eyes fall on the gravestone closest to them.
Luis Santiago Fuentes. Lance’s brother.
“Oh,” Keith breathes quietly, staring down at the grave.
“Keith,” Lance says, turning to face him. To Keith’s surprise, his face breaks out into a melancholy smile as he speaks.
“I’d like you to meet my brother.”
Keith freezes for a second, unsure what to say. “I-” he flounders, opening and closing his mouth uselessly. “Lance-”
“It’s okay,” Lance assures him, his smile turning just a bit more real. “I don’t expect you to have a conversation with a hunk of rock or anything. I just wanted to… introduce you, I guess.”
“Oh,” Keith says again.
“I don’t know what I was expecting,” Lance admits. “I really don’t bring a lot of people to meet him. I don’t like talking about it, you know?”
“Yeah.”
“But… I guess what Pidge said earlier got to me.” Lance shakes his head and sighs. “Life really is too short to spend it suffering. To- to go around with all this weight on your shoulders.”
Keith watches as Lance crouches down and touches Luis’s name, running the tips of his fingers over the letters delicately. “Luis was always so concerned for everyone else,” he says quietly. “He was always looking out for others more than he was looking out for himself, and he always did everything he could to make everyone happy.”
“Sounds like someone I know,” Keith says gently.
“He was… He was so much better than I am,” Lance says, shaking his head. “And he wouldn’t want me hurting over him like this. I know he wouldn’t.”
He straightens up again and takes a deep breath, then faces Keith. “Thank you for coming to check on me last week. It really did help me.”
Keith blinks, surprised. He definitely hadn’t been expecting that.
“I’ve been thinking a lot the past few days, and I realized… I was being a hypocrite, telling Pidge to open up and avoiding talking about my brother at the same time.” Lance shakes his head and chuckles awkwardly. “I guess I’m really not qualified to help people out with this stuff, huh?”
“No!” Keith exclaims quickly. “I mean, no, you’re more than qualified. If anyone’s unqualified here, it’s me. I shouldn’t have said those things the other day.”
“I mean, maybe not as directly as you did,” Lance says, “but that’s not the point. You helped me a lot, Keith. You gave me the strength to come here today, and to visit him again. You and Pidge… You guys really are something else. So I wanted to thank you.”
Keith frowns, then shakes his head. “After everything I said to you, you’re thanking me? I thought you were bringing me over here to beat me up or something.”
“Of course not!” Lance exclaims, a spark of his playful side resurfacing. “I don’t murder on the first date, remember?”
“Lance, I’m serious,” Keith says, eyebrows drawing together even further.
“And I’m serious, too,” Lance counters. “You helped me, Keith. You didn’t give up on me, and you didn’t let me close myself off again. So thank you.”
“I-” Keith tries, but he can’t come up with a response. “I’m sorry about-”
“Hey, stop it,” Lance chides. “You’ve apologized enough. I know you didn’t mean any harm, and I forgive you for what you said. I’m really not mad.”
“Can I at least do something to make it up to you?” Keith pleads. “I’ll do anything.”
“Well…” A smile spreads across Lance’s face slowly. “You could always go on a second date with me. Our first one kinda got cut short, if you remember.”
Keith stares at him blankly, dumbfounded. Is he being serious? How can he even say that?
“You- You want me to go out with you after everything that happened?” he stutters, wondering if he’d heard wrong. He must have, right?
“Yeah, I do,” Lance says, completely serious. “I like you, you know. That hasn’t changed.”
For the second time that day, Keith finds himself at a loss for words. Of course he wants to say yes, but is it really okay? What would Pidge think about it? Or Shiro? What if Lance changes his mind about not being mad anymore? What if he says something stupid again and hurts everyone even more than he already has?
“Keith,” Lance says, interrupting his spiraling thought process. “Stop overthinking this, buddy. It’s okay. You can just say yes or no.”
Keith stares at him again, then slowly feels himself beginning to nod. “Then… Yes,” he decides at last, quietly. He can say yes. The rest will work itself out. “Yeah, I’d love to go on another date,” he continues, building confidence.
“Awesome,” Lance says excitedly, his face breaking into the easygoing grin Keith had missed so much. “I’m looking forward to it.”
Keith grins too, unable to help himself. Lance isn’t angry anymore. Lance is opening up about his brother. Lance wants to go out with him again.
Everything is going to be okay.
The two of them stand there staring at each other for a minute, smiling like a couple of idiots, and Keith can’t even bring himself to care. He’s too happy to bother with anything else right now, and from the look on Lance’s face, it seems like he feels the same way. They only snap out of it when the sound of footsteps approaching reaches them.
Keith tears his eyes away from Lance reluctantly, turning to see who it is. Pidge is heading towards them briskly, her glasses glinting from the early afternoon light.
“Hey!” she calls, coming to a stop a couple of feet away from them. “We thought we lost you guys.”
“Nope,” Keith says, trying to squash his stupid smile and failing miserably. “We’re right here.”
“Good,” Pidge sighs, adjusting her glasses. “Is everything okay over here?”
“Yeah,” Lance says, reaching down and taking Keith’s hand in his deliberately. His hand is warm and soft, just like it was the first time they met. “Everything’s great.”
“Oh.” Pidge blinks, then shoots Keith a sly glance. “I can see that,” she says with a smirk.
“Pidge!” Keith hisses, feeling his face heat up.
“Sorry,” she laughs, not seeming sorry at all. “Anyway, feel free to come back over when you’re ready. We’ve got plenty of sandwiches left.”
“We will,” Lance promises, squeezing Keith’s hand. “Sorry for taking so long. We’ll just be a minute.”
“It’s alright,” Pidge says, turning back the way she came. “Take your time. I’ll see you over there.”
“See you,” Lance replies with a wave. Keith looks back at him and sighs, shaking his head.
“Are you sure about this?” he asks one more time, because he just has to. “I mean, are you sure about me ?”
Lance turns his attention back to Keith confidently, his head held high. “I’ve never been more sure about anything,” he assures Keith. “I promise.”
Keith can’t help but start smiling again, so he ducks his head to hide it. He can feel himself starting to blush again and stares down at the ground, willing himself to get it together. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees the rose he’d tucked into his pocket and forgotten about, and suddenly he has an idea.
He slips his hand out of Lance’s and reaches for the flower in his pocket, then the one behind his ear.
“Here,” he says, offering a rose to Lance. “For your brother.”
Lance’s smile falters for a second before coming back twice as strong. “Thank you,” he says, barely above a whisper. His voice is filled with emotion that Keith can barely comprehend; sadness and joy, loss and hope. A medley of feelings.
Keith nods, and together they bend down to set the roses below Luis’s name. They look even brighter against the shining gray stone beneath them, almost like they’ve bloomed all over again.
Keith takes Lance’s hand again as they stand up and doesn’t comment when Lance wipes at his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. He just holds on tight and waits until Lance sorts himself out before gesturing back to the picnic.
“Ready to go back?” he asks. “We can take more time if you need it.”
“No, I’m okay,” Lance says, shaking his head. “Let’s go.”
Keith leads them back towards the others in no particular rush, just enjoying being around Lance again. He’d missed Lance so much over the past two weeks or so (not that he’d ever admit it), and now that they’re back together he plans to enjoy it as much as possible.
“Thank you,” he says once they’re right out of earshot of the others. “For giving me a second chance.”
“Of course,” Lance says, pressing his side against Keith’s. He feels warm and strong and comforting.
“Although, I have to ask… Did this have anything to do with your horoscope?”
Lance freezes guiltily, then turns to face Keith with a sheepish grin. “I was planning on making up with you anyway…” he says with a chuckle. “It was just a coincidence.”
Keith smiles and rolls his eyes, then tugs Lance the rest of the way back to the picnic. Pidge has moved Keith’s plate next to one he presumes she put together for Lance. She grins at him playfully as he sits down, still holding Lance’s hand.
“Shut up,” Keith tells her, although there’s no bite in it. Normally he’d snap at her for her relentless teasing, but he can’t bring himself to feel annoyance. He’s happy , happier than he’s been in a long time. Happy because Pidge is finally healing, because he’s back with Lance, and because Lance is getting better, too. He really doesn’t know what else he could ask for.
He lets himself relax against Lance’s side and really, truly enjoy the picnic, knowing that at least for now, everything has turned out alright.