Chapter Text
“Shiro?” asked Keith, knocking on the door of his brother’s office. “I need to talk to you.”
“I’ll be honest, Keith,” said Shiro, waving Keith in but not looking away from his paperwork, “I’d almost think that I was popular with how often my students come to visit me.”
“A lot of other students been seeing you recently?” asked Keith curiously. He took a seat across from Shiro and set down his belongings, his jacket and backpack haphazardly strewn onto the couch.
“Some more than others,” admitted Shiro, “but it’s fine. I’m happy to help.” He wrote a couple of sentences at the end of the document he was working on before adding it to the completed pile at the corner of his desk. Standing up to stretch, Shiro finally looked at Keith and his professional smile melted into a personable one. “What’s up, Keith?”
“I just needed some advice on something.” Keith brought up his legs onto the chair and crossed them.
“And it couldn’t wait till I got home?”
“I mean it could have, but I think that the sooner I figure out what to do, the sooner I can fix,” Keith gestured to some unknown thing in the air, “whatever is going on.”
“So, what is going on?” Shiro inquired.
Keith did not hesitate to tackle the problem head on. “I think I’m being ignored.”
“Ignored? Why? Who’s ignoring you?” Shiro tilted his head, a questioning expression on his face.
“I’ve texted Lance over 20 times the past three weeks, and he hasn’t responded to a single one of my messages.” Keith retrieved his phone from his sweatshirt pocket to show Shiro the string of sent messages. “That’s weird, right? It’s not just me?”
Shiro scrolled through each unanswered text with a frown fixed to his face. “Hm..that is a little strange. Did anything happen between the two of you?” Shiro returned the phone to Keith. “There must be a reason why he’s ignoring you, right?”
“I mean, if there is, I don’t know it.” Keith stretched out his legs and slid so far down his seat that his chin touched his chest. “Have you spoken to him recently?”
The office chair squeaked as Shiro pulled himself closer to his desk. “Lance came in about a week ago, but I haven’t seen him since.”
“Oh god, not you too,” Keith fretted.
Shiro cocked an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”
“I asked Hunk and Pidge if they were in contact with Lance, and they said he still talked to them.” Keith groaned into a nearby cushion.
“Right...and your point is?”
“Shiro, it’s only me he’s ignoring.” Keith pressed a hand to his chest in emphasis. “Me. Hunk and Pidge are his best friends, sure, but you and Lance don’t even really talk to one another.”
“Keith, Lance has his own reasons for talking to me. I am the TA of the class you both share.” Shiro explained.
“I bet it’s not even about school,” Keith scoffed. “Was it about soulmates?” Keith knew that the concept of soulmates was always something Lance had held in top priority. It was consistently mentioned in fleeting moments every time the two of them hung out. Nevertheless, Keith was very aware of Lance’s borderline obsession.
“Keith, you can’t put words in my mouth,” Shiro objected.
“See! You didn’t even deny it,” Keith bargained, pointing a finger at Shiro. “It was about soulmates, wasn’t it?” Goddamn that Lance McClain.
“Keith…” warned Shiro, but Keith persisted.
“Shiro, I’ve known you for eight years. You can’t lie to me.” Keith shook his head, frustration leaking into his body. “Of course it was about soulmates. He’s always talking about it, so why wouldn’t he talk about it with you? It’s like his lifelong dream to find his soulmate, a soulmate that he is certain exists. Just thinking that they don’t make him nervous.” Keith was brought back to the conversation he had had with Lance over two months ago. “I get that he’s believed in soulmates his whole life, but this person technically only exists in hypotheticals.”
Shiro leaned forward and propped both his elbows onto the desk, clasping his hands together. “And that bothers you?”
“Obviously,” Keith articulated. “How could it not bother me?”
“Keith, answer me honestly, are you jealous?”
Subtle anger seeped into Keith’s veins. “No. Why would I be jealous?” Keith stressed as he threw his hands in the air in indignation.
“There’s really no need to get so worked up,” said Shiro instead, his composure completely unaffected.
“I’m not getting worked up,” protested Keith, more than eager to prove Shiro wrong. But once he began to try and justify himself, the weak argument he’d begun to concoct slowly faded. “I just..”
“Keith, for someone who you say ‘exists in hypotheticals’, they sure are doing a good job of getting you heated.”
“That’s exactly the point, Shiro,” said Keith, trying desperately to cling to something, anything, that could support him. “This ‘soulmate person’ probably doesn’t even exist, but Lance devotes so much of his time to finding them when he could be spending that time doing so many other things!”
“Like what?” challenged Shiro. “Finding a soulmate is important to Lance. You know that. Doesn’t he have the right to decide how he wants to spend his time?”
The way Shiro posed that question, careful and heavy, gave Keith pause. He was right, of course. Lance was his own person. He could do as he pleased. And yet, Keith felt that early fury remain in his gut, poised as if in wait for something. “I suppose.”
Shiro sighed. “Look, Keith. If you think that Lance would be better off spending his time doing something else, then you clearly think there’s a better alternative.”
He… Yes, Shiro was right. There were better things that Lance could be doing. There were so many things they could have already done in the time that they’d been separated. “There probably is!”
“And what exactly would that be?” asked Shiro.
Keith faltered again. “I don’t know,” admitted Keith, before switching speeds and remembering that Hunk and Pidge had also voiced their concerns about Lance’s strange behaviour. “He could be spending more time with his friends?”
The flat look that Keith received was unlike any other he’d ever seen from Shiro in his lifetime. “Keith, I’m not stupid. I know you’re talking about yourself.”
Keith allowed the blush to burn across his cheeks. “So what if I am?” He blurted out. It was useless, it seemed, trying to hide this feeling from Shiro. But it was the truth. “Is it wrong for me to want to spend time with him? I’m the only one he’s excommunicated, so I’m allowed to be angry.”
Shiro shook his head, managing to remain calm despite the edge of exasperation in his voice. “I’m not saying you’re not allowed to be angry, but I think you need to understand why you’re angry in the first place.”
Keith groaned. “Shiro, I feel like we’re talking in circles. Just tell me what to do.”
“I can’t tell you what to do, Keith,” said Shiro, his voice clear and calm. “This is a problem you have with Lance, so you should take it up with him.”
“I would if he would actually talk to me!” Keith bellowed, the frustration returning with a vengeance. However, a look from Shiro had that feeling lowered to a simmer. It was a look of scolding, of immense power. It was enough to tell him that he needed to cool down.
Shiro’s measured breath had Keith’s rapt attention, and in the words that followed, managed to extinguish Keith’s fury entirely. “Keith, I know you,” Shiro began, full of the kind of confidence Keith had always craved growing up. “If you want something bad enough, you’d do anything to get it. It’s obvious to me that you really cherish this relationship with Lance,” Shiro smiled at him fondly, “so it would only make sense if you were willing to put in the effort to keep it.”
“Shiro, he’s my friend,” said Keith, more tired than anything. “I’m going to put in the effort.”
“I know that you’re friends, but you’re also friends with Hunk and Pidge.” Shiro’s smile turned sly. “I’m willing to bet that if either of them pulled this on you, you would not care as much.”
“I…” The truth of that statement settled firmly in Keith’s chest, slipping down into his heart to embrace it. “Yeah.” Keith nodded slowly and returned Shiro’s smile with a tentative one of his own. “You’re right.”
Relaxing into his chair, Shiro took a long, self-satisfied swig of his water as if rewarding himself for surviving his conversation with Keith. “Then haven’t you already answered your question, Keith?”
With a new plan in mind, Keith quickly grabbed his belongings and dashed out the door. He ran as fast as his feet could take him, not caring about the mud caking up on his shoes from the rainstorm. Within 10 minutes, he was knocking at Hunk and Lance’s apartment. Using his fist, Keith knocked on the door a solid three times before it opened. Of course, the person he wanted to see wasn’t the one to open the door.
“Keith,” Hunk began. “What are you doing here?”
The water droplets in Keith’s hair fell as he pushed his way into the apartment. “I need to talk to Lance. Is he home?”
Hunk offered Keith a towel for his hair. “Yeah, he is, but he hasn’t left his room for the past couple of days. I don’t know if he’s willing to talk to anybody right now.”
“Doesn’t matter. I still have to try.” Keith walked the familiar path from the living room to Lance’s bedroom. He inhaled deeply before tapping lightly on the closed door. Breathe, Keith. Breathe.
“Lance? Are you there?” No answer. Keith rapped on the door again, a little louder this time. “I know you’re in there. Open the door. Please.”
“Go away. I’m thinking.” The voice that came from behind the door was Lance’s, but he sounded so different, so broken. Keith hadn’t expected it to be this bad. In his whirlwind of emotions, Keith didn’t realize how much Lance would be impacted by this. Was Lance equally as hurt as he was? However, that still didn’t negate the problem. Lance was the one who unreasonably cut him off.
Keith stepped closer to the door. “What could possibly take you three and a half weeks to think about?” he asked, holding himself back.
“Just go away. It’s not your business,” Lance cried from the other side.
Keith placed his hand on the doorknob. “I’m about to make it my business, Lance.”
“It’s nothing. Don’t worry about it,” Lance sighed. “Please just go home, Keith.”
Keith released his grip on the door handle, afraid that suddenly imposing into Lance’s room would only make matters worse. “There’s no way it’s nothing. You’ve been locked away in your room for what seems like forever. It’s like you think we don’t notice when you’re gone. We miss you.” Then, softer, just as the thought occurred to him. “What happened to us ?”
“You happened!” All at once, the door to Lance’s room swung open, and Lance stood before Keith in his pajamas and bathrobe. His eyes were red rimmed, and his hair a tousled mess. Their time apart, it seemed, had somehow been kinder to Keith than it had to Lance. “Ever since I met you, everything’s been different. My life was fine before you came waltzing in.”
Keith roared in retaliation, the retort coming to him easily. “You started it! You were the one who wanted to hang out in the first place. You were the one who insisted we be friends.” Keith could feel a burn in his eyes. The more he raised his voice, the more he wanted to cry.
At this point, Lance was quiet. He looked past Keith and when he turned, he could see Hunk and Pidge waiting nervously in the kitchen. Keith mimicked Lance’s movement, curiosity getting the better of him. Upon spotting Hunk and Pidge’s gaze, Keith quickly pushed Lance into the room and locked the door behind them.
They stared at each other for a moment, before Lance broke the silence. “I’m sorry,” Lance began gently, his voice drained of all anger. “I didn’t know how much it would affect you.”
Keith sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled Lance down next to him. “How could it not affect me? I’ve gotten so used to being in your company, and it just doesn’t feel right when you’re not around.”
Lance’s expression suddenly changed to one of genuine shock. “Wait, what do you mean it doesn’t feel right?”
“It’s frustrating, Lance.” Keith let his gaze wander over to the photo of Lance’s family that sat on the same nightstand it had been on months ago. “I don’t know how to explain it,” Keith said. “It’s like a part of me is missing, y’know? Over the past 5 months, we've spent so much time together that it's hard to imagine you not being there. We’ve basically been joined at the hip, and you go and pull a stunt like locking yourself away for three weeks. It's just been tough for me to adjust. I'm always hyper aware that you're not around and frankly, it just feels empty without you.”
“You too? I thought that was just me?” Lance mumbled. The atmosphere in the room had now changed completely. Both boys had mellowed out, allowing them to focus on what the other was saying, their minds less clouded by the pollution of negative emotion.
Keith looked to Lance curiously. “What do you mean?”
“That emptiness you were talking about? I think I’ve felt that,” said Lance, before amending it with, “I mean, I have been feeling it. I feel like we were together so much, and then I didn’t know what to do when you weren’t here. Like it was wrong, somehow. I never really paid attention to it until we stopped, you know, hanging out. And after that, it just got so much worse the longer we were apart; I felt so much worse. I missed you, Keith.” Lance gently leaned into Keith, placing his head on Keith’s shoulder.
Keith felt the dangerous symptoms of hope overcome him. “What are you trying to say, Lance?
“Listen,” said Lance quickly, “I know you don’t believe in this stuff, but just hear me out oka-?
Keith cut in, his voice smooth and insistent. “It’s not that I don’t believe,” he said slowly, “it’s just that I never saw myself fitting into that mold. My own parents were soulmates, yet it didn’t work out.” Keith looked at his empty hands, then at Lance’s brown ones sitting in his own lap. “How could the universe possibly design one person meant just for me?
Lance lifted his head from Keith’s shoulder to look him in the eye. “I thought soulmates were a silly idea to you all this time?”
“Maybe I thought that at first, but ever since you started asking about them, I’ve been starting to think about it more.” Keith leaned back onto his palms and looked to the ceiling. “No one else thinks it’s relevant anymore, but you were so adamant about them being real that I asked Shiro to help me look into it.”
Lance froze beside him, mouth slightly agape. “Wait, was that what those papers were for? The papers Shiro gave you?”
The bed creaked as Keith adjusted his weight, pushing himself further onto the mattress. “I mean, yeah. You know that Shiro and I are close, and he seemed to be the only person I could go to about the situation regarding my family. So, I asked him to do a little research and he gave me what he thought would be useful to me.”
“Did you find anything?” Lance asked hopefully.
“I definitely learned a lot, and my perspective still stands,” stated Keith. “But here’s the thing, for me, it doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t change the way I feel about my family, or soulmates,” Keith felt himself soften as he added, “or you.”
Lance's heartbeat caught on Keith's words, but he tried not to dwell on what Keith seemed to be implying. Well, he tried and failed. “What do you mean, ‘it doesn’t matter’?” Lance sputtered, turning his whole body towards Keith.
“Let me clarify. It’s not that it doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things, but rather that regardless of what research says, I still believe in personal choice,” Keith explained. “I didn’t get to pick my family, and I realized that what happened between them wasn’t ideal, but it was still their choice. They chose to be together and they chose to separate. It’s still difficult for me to grasp the idea that the universe has somehow created a perfect person for me, but that doesn’t necessarily mean that I don’t believe that person is out there. I would like to think that the person I end up with is someone of my choosing. If the universe has something to do with it, so be it. Ultimately, it is my choice.”
Lance continued to prod for clarification. “What are you trying to say?”
Keith’s smile was warm, the resolve he’d gained from his conversation with Shiro spilling over. “Whether the concept of soulmates is real or not doesn’t negate you being my first choice.”
Lance shook his head, disbelief and anticipation warring across his features. “Why?" Lance's voice broke. "Why would you pick me?”
Keith reached for Lance’s hand and interlaced their fingers together. “Lance, it couldn’t have been anyone else.”
“Doesn’t that mean you believe in soulmates then?” asked Lance curiously, unable to hide the blush that crept across his cheeks.
Keith shrugged as if that was the least of his worries. “If that’s how you want to look at it, yeah. But know that even if the universe decided that someone else was destined to be with me,” Keith pressed a light kiss to Lance’s hand, “I would always choose you.”
Lance nodded, thoughtfully. “That actually reminds me of something Shiro said.”
“Shiro?”
“Yeah. I went to see him over a week ago to ask him for some advice, and he said that finding my soulmate was really about finding someone who will choose me.” Lance resumed his position leaning on Keith, seemingly comfortable with this new spot close to him.
“He’s right,” said Keith, turning to touch his lips to the top of Lance’s head. Being affectionate with Lance was turning out to be a lot easier than Keith had ever thought it could be. “I think it is about the people who choose you, and I’m being honest when I say that you’re my first choice.”
The rate at which Lance turned red would have been worryingly fast if Keith hadn’t found it endearing. “You can’t just say that.”
“Well, what do you want me to say?” asked Keith, testing the waters. “That I love you, you’re the light of my life, and I couldn’t live another day without you?”
Lance stared at Keith, a tense beat passing between them, before grinning widely. “ ...well I certainly wouldn’t mind if you said that.”
Keith rolled his eyes and shoved Lance away from him. “Geez Lance, you're unbelievable. Why are you like this?”
“You know you love me.” Lance winked playfully at Keith’s bemused expression. He tugged himself back to Keith's side like a magnet.
They exchanged fond looks, fingers still twisted together between them. “Maybe I do.”
“Maybe I do too.” Lance pressed his forehead against Keith’s, the anticipation in the air compounding. Before Lance could do anything to close the distance between them, Keith broke contact.
“Wait, I brought something for you.” Keith fumbled around in his bag before retrieving a small package of glow-in-the-dark stars. “I thought these would look really good in your room. I bought them the day you made me try on all those awful outfits. I guess now's a time as good as ever to give them to you.”
Lance giggled as he opened the package and poured the stars into his hands, inspecting their every detail. “They’re beautiful,” he breathed, eyes twinkling with child-like excitement. “Thank you.”
“I know we promised to go stargazing one day together,” said Keith, “but for now, these will have to do.”
“I didn’t take you for the type to be a sappy romantic, Kogane.” Lance set the stars on the nightstand and turned to face Keith more directly.
“It’s not sappy, it’s meaningful,” Keith protested.
Lance rejoined their hands. “Alright, alright, it’s very meaningful.” He leaned in, kissing Keith sweetly and pulling back with a smile. “Thank you.”
Keith lightly pecked Lance’s lips in return. “You’re welcome.”
The room had a silence about it. With the lecture hall thick and full of unparalleled student confusion, Lance McClain found himself, again, at the center of attention (his not-so-secret goal all along) and waited patiently for an answer.
“I’m sorry?” asked Professor Coran, more amused than shocked at Lance’s question.
“If your soulmate dies,” Lance repeated patiently, “do you get a backup soulmate?”
“Mr. McClain, we’re well aware of your concern," said Professor Coran, "but I think we all knew that I meant questions regarding the final exam.”
Lance leaned forward in his seat, ignoring the giggles of his friends and the exasperated sigh from Keith, who sat with his left hand captured in Lance's right. Lance couldn't help the grin that overtook his features, chest flooding with feelings of contentment and the everpresent urge to tease Keith. “It’s just that Keith thinks pineapple on pizza is good. I'm out. This is dumb." When Lance heard Keith laugh quietly to himself, Lance carried on with a self-satisfied smirk on his face. "Can I kill my soulmate and exchange him? Do I get a backup?”