Chapter Text
Lucas Styles Tomlinson.
7,05lbs
18.50’’
‘Be gentle, I read that babies don’t develop the parietal bone until a few months after being born.’, Harry warned Louis, watching as he settled the baby in the pale blue crib placed under the green bird stickers on the light blue wall.
Maybe that was too much blue, but they didn’t think about it when they first started decorating the nursery. Now it was done anyway.
‘Where on earth did you read that?’, Louis squinted his eyes at Harry and closed the bars on the wooden crib – Harry wanted to actually make that crib from scratch, design it, pick the wood and carve it, but he had to settle with just assembling it, since his pace was “slower than a snail on the beach”. Louis’ words.
Harry leaned against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest, as he tried to remember where he had seen that. Was it on the book he read when Louis was 5 months in? Or in that documentary he saw on National Geographic? Teen Mom maybe?
‘Uh.. I don’t know, but they were saying that that’s why babies should wear a beanie.’. Louis laughed at that. So loud and genuinely that he thought he had offended the younger dad.
He most likely did. For a second, he felt embarrassed that deep down it made him happy to offend Harry and his stupid baby facts.
‘What’s so funny? Lou, you have to take this seriously. What if we’re not ready and something happens to the baby? What i-‘, Louis shushed him down by placing a finger in those soft plum lips, now with a hint of red caused by Harry’s habit of biting down on his lip whenever he was worried or nervous – which he had been 125% of the time since Louis had felt an early contraction.
‘We have to get you to the hospital. Oh God, but it’s so soon, we’re still 6 moths in, oh lord what if the baby doesn’t make it, Lou?’
‘Haz, relax. It was just a small thing. Don’t worry okay? It’s gone.’
Louis felt way too prepared for this baby. Not because of all the books, videos, birthing lessons and baby classes Harry had imputed on him – but because he was already taking care of a 6’3 baby.
He sat in the white armchair resting in the corner with a pastel green blanket thrown over one of its arms and eyed Harry who was admiring little Lucas slumbering in his crib, filled up with fluffy toys (all of them 100% cotton). He smiled to himself at the sight of the two boys in front of him.
The baby’s eyes had turned out green, just like Harry’s and Louis felt overjoyed about it. That baby was just like Harry, only in a smaller size obviously. Everything about Lucas resembled the being watching him with glossy eyes. Except for the eyebrows.
Arched like Louis’.
‘Woow…’, Harry mumbled, tearing apart Louis’ web of thoughts, ‘Can you believe it? ‘Cause I still can’t believe it.’. He reached down to caress the little one’s rosy cheek with his index finger, only to get caught between one of Lucas’ little hands, now wrapped around Harry’s right index finger.
‘We made him, Louis. Luke is our creation. Half me, half you.’, he turned to Louis, not disconnecting the established contact with Lucas, ‘How can two human beings create something so perfect, so innocent, so… I don’t know Lou, it still doesn’t feel real, you know? It still feels like a dream where everything’s perfect.’
Louis offered Harry a smile, but it still felt forced. He wouldn't go as far as saying that everything was perfect. Sure, they were living in their dream home - well, as close as they could get to that, since the lovely summer cottage wasn’t for sale, so they had to settle for a similar one in the south west coast of England; they had a gorgeous baby and they were slowly regaining the relationship they had before the… incident.
No. Scrape that. They were aiming to be in a better state then where they were before that.
But they were definitely not perfect. It still felt too recent in Louis' broken heart and although Harry had gone above and beyond in his efforts to mend it back together, it just wasn't that easy. He needed to be able to trust in Harry with all his life again and until he could do that, things wouldn't be perfect.
****
Louis was drying out the dishes used during dinner, the ones with the blue stencil on its edges – that Harry’s mum had given them – whilst Harry was patiently trying to get Lucas to burp, after bottle feeding him.
There wasn’t much talking going on, yet the silence between the three of them was soothing in a way. They found it comforting and an escape to reflect on everything that had happened during the day, or a moment to think about that one joke one of them had said and have a laugh to themselves, only to have the other questioning with a smile if he was thinking about that joke – usually one made up by Louis – and after exchanging a brief moment of perfectly synchronized giggles, realize that they knew each other so well, in a way of almost communicating via telepathy.
That was one of Harry’s strong beliefs too.
A small cheering sound erupted from the lads’ lips and Louis lifted his head to look at him on the other side of the white wooden table meticulously placed in the middle of the kitchen.
‘I just got him to burp, Lou!’, Harry turned to Louis and he could’ve sworn he had never seen Harry so excited about anything, but that would be a lie. He was probably three times more excited when he had first held little Luke or when they brought him home three days ago.
This parenting thing seemed so effortless for Harry. He would never make one mistake, even if it was the very first time he was doing it. Louis actually thought he had gone to parenting classes without him, but then again, where would he have found the time?
Between the redecorating of the house, the taking care of Louis and going to work… Jesus, I nearly got myself a superhero.
‘You’re such a pro at this, Haz. You were born to take care of babies.’, Louis approached the two human beings on the room and placed a chaste kiss on Lucas head, practically hearing Harry’s beaming smile.
Harry was proud of himself for making Louis proud of him. Good lad.
****
After finishing up the kitchen’s cleaning and putting Lucas to sleep in his crib, Louis and Harry were now sat in the front porch’s swing chair. Harry’s arm lazily thrown over the back of the swing like he wasnted to place it around Louis' shoulders, but decided against it. The baby monitor was set on the swing next to Harry’s right thigh and would for sure fall to the floor and break in case the baby cried or they heard something suspicious coming from the blue heaven – sometimes hell, because it had temporarily blinded Louis once, when he stepped in the nursery and all that blue infatuated his mind. They did end up changing the colour to a more pleasant blue.
Rambling about colours oh my God, is this what we came to?
‘Penny for those.’, Harry mumbled, his gaze focused on the way Louis' eyes reflected the light surrounding them.
‘Just thinking about everything, y’know? Like, everything’s just going well with Luke. It’s hard to believe that we survived it all. We, the two lads who actually had a really hard time choosing the kitchen tiles, survived all the bumps and whatnots that came along the way an-and now, here we are man… A lovely house, the most perfect little creature I’ve ever seen in my entire life…’
‘That we made.’, Harry interrupted Louis’ dander, nodding along with slightly narrowed eyes, a smile tugging at his peach pink lips.
Louis rolled his eyes at that and laughed a little, ‘Yes Harry, that we made.'
Harry's smile grew wider before dissipating. Louis noticed that from the corner of his eyes and knew what was going on inside Harry's mind. He could sense it everytime silence settled between them when they were alone.
'Do you regret it?'
The question was no more than a simple whisper, but Louis immediately understood what he meant. He carefully thought about his answer.
'No. Despite everything that happened, I still love you. I can't stop loving you, no matter how hard I try... and I did try, for a while.', he had never confessed this to Harry, but he took it without looking surprised. 'I gave us a second chance, because I know what we are capable of. I know that Lucas is much better off with you as a constant presence in his life.', and here came the uninvited tears. When would these bloody hormones leave him alone?
'I see how hard you've been trying to get everything back to how it used to be... before. And I appreciate that, don't think I don't notice it,' subconsciously, Louis placed his hand on Harry's thigh in a comforting gesture. 'But I need you to know that I need time to properly heal before I can do that. Before I can be the old Louis and blindly trust you.'
The younger man nodded with his lips firmly shut. It seemed like he was fighting back tears and Louis envyed him for being able to do that when he was kind of an emotional wreck. In good spirit, he decided to lighten the mood.
'I also need you to know that I will never let you out of my sight ever again,' he joked and Harry chuckled at the ground as a tear finally spilled from his eyes.
'I'm a fool, Lou. I can only be thankful for the chance you gave me-... us. I'm not wasting it for nothing in this world.'
Right now, sitting there in the front porch with the sound of running water coming from the small pond in their front yard, Louis thought about how peaceful he felt. Things weren't perfect, but they were on the way.