Chapter Text
jeongguk wakes up surrounded by an almost suffocating heat. his throat is dry and in desperate need of water, his eyes swollen and limbs heavy. he knows he should probably make an effort to stand up, get something do drink, but he can’t help burrowing his nose further into the sheets and breathing in the familiar scent of taehyung’s cologne. for a second, it seems like he’s going to fall back asleep, until his brain finally catches up and his eyes fly open. the bed he’s tucked into isn’t his, but it’s not exactly unfamiliar to him either, and he sits up abruptly when he realizes where he is.
“you’re awake.” a voice suddenly pipes up from the doorway. jeongguk’s breath catches in his throat, his brain rattling, trying to process what’s happening. he doesn’t dare turning around to look at taehyung, so he pulls his knees to his chest and buries his face behind his arms, not quite ready to face the other just yet.
the mattress dips, a safe distance away from where jeongguk is sitting. taehyung obviously doesn’t want to push it, and for that jeongguk is grateful.
no really, he is. he totally does not want to sit in taehyung’s lap right now. nope. he’s mad at taehyung.
“jeonggukie,” taehyung whispers, “how are you feeling? i brought you some water.”
his voice is uncharacteristically quiet, almost hesitant. it’s like he’s forgot how to act around jeongguk.
the boy raises his head slowly, accepting the water bottle without looking at taehyung. their fingers brush, and he blushes. taehyung has opened to bottle already, like he always does, because jeongguk’s hands are so delicate that opening them sometimes hurts, and jeongguk hates the fact that a simple gesture like this can make his heart beat so wildly. he takes a few sips, amazed at how much better he feels already.
“thank you.” he whispers, because even though he’s still hurt, he’s not about to be impolite.
taehyung hums, and jeongguk notices he’s fiddling with the bedsheets out of the corner of his eye. the air is tense, loaded with tension that has yet to be relieved. jeongguk feels like he’s running out of air, the pressure on his chest getting greater with every passing second, but taehyung grabs his hand and suddenly he can breathe again.
“jeongguk,” taehyung whispers, “i’ve missed you.”
jimin was right. he does look thinner than before, less happy, less radiant. his eyes, usually filled with sparkles and gleam, are dull, worn down like jeongguk’s never seen them before. it hurts to see how much he’s changed in the months that they’ve been apart, and jeongguk cannot bring himself to feel relieved that this whole experience has taken a toll on taehyung too. he knows he shouldn’t feel pity with the elder, as he is the one who caused all this mess, but he can’t imagine a world where he’d ever like to see a broken taehyung, like he does right now.
“you’ve done this, taehyung,” jeongguk replies instead of what he’s been desperately wanting to say, “this is your fault.”
i’ve missed you so much more than you could ever imagine.
taehyung’s expressions twists into something akin to regret, but most of all, hurt. “i know.”
jeongguk regrets ever opening his mouth.
“how was it? working for someone else.” taehyung asks, unsure if he’s stepping into forbidden territory by breaching the touchy subject.
“awful,” jeongguk answers dryly, “but i guess you knew that already.”
“right.”
jeongguk hums.
“how’s it been for you?” he’s nothing if not curious.
“awful,” taehyung mumbles, echoing jeongguk’s answer.
the atmosphere is tense, more so than it’s ever been. they both want things they can’t have, or so it feels.
a minutes goes by, maybe two.
“i’m sorry.”
there they are. the words that jeongguk has simultaneously been dreading and longing for. it feels as if the temperature has dropped all of a sudden, making goosebumps arise all over his body. he’s been through this scenario countless times, has imagined thousands of outcomes and prepared numerous things to say, but when he finally looks up to meet taehyung’s eyes, it feels as though his mind has been wiped clean.
“why?” he chokes on the word, trying to tear his eyes away from taehyung’s. they’re as beautiful as ever, dark and deep and so, so broken.
“i don’t know. it felt right at the time, but,” taehyung’s voice quivers, like he’s barely holding himself together, “i was stupid. i was so, so stupid, and i messed it up, i messed you up, and—“
jeongguk stops him from rambling by laying his hand atop of taehyung’s, directing his attention back to him.
“you’ve suffered enough, taehyung. we both have.”
“i’m sorry.”
“i know.”
“can you forgive me?”
jeongguk strokes his cheek. “i already have, silly.”
taehyung laughs, and it’s wet, but he sounds happy. relieved, to say the least. he laces his fingers with jeongguk’s, reveling in the way they fit together so perfectly.
“i’m hungry. do you have food in the house?” jeongguk asks, trying to alleviate the tension that is still left.
taehyung shakes his head guiltily. “we can go out to get something.”
jeongguk’s stomach churns at the thought of taehyung barely eating anything, as he does when no one reminds him to. he should’ve been there for him. he should’ve knocked a little sense into him. he shouldn’t have given up on taehyung.
guilt gnaws on his conscience, but the way taehyung looks at him, with gentle eyes instead of hurt ones, calms his rapidly beating heart.
all of it is in the past.
they’re starting something new, together. it won’t ever be like it was before, but jeongguk has reason to believe that it’ll be even better. together, they can do this.
they get something quick to eat at a street food truck down the block, and jeongguk is delighted when taehyung grabs his hand again on their way back to his apartment, smiling sweetly and squeezing his fingers. the familiar warmth that taehyung provides whenever he’s around spreads in his chest, making tingles travel down his spine, slowly but surely enclosing him and squeezing him reassuringly.
he feels like he’s come home.
taehyung invites him to stay the night, so he does, and together they fall asleep on the couch while watching movies, entangled in each other.
when jeongguk wakes up in the middle of the night, it’s because taehyung is carrying him to the bedroom, to sleep on the bed rather than on the couch. he covers the both of them with the comforter, holding jeongguk close to him, gentle, always gentle.
it’s quiet, and for a second jeongguk thinks taehyung might’ve fallen asleep already, but then the elder leans forward to press a kiss against his temple, murmuring something that jeongguk can’t quite understand.
he doesn’t have to either.
“i love you too.” jeongguk whispers.
taehyung kisses him again. they fall asleep in each other’s arms, and nothing has felt this damn good in a long while.