Chapter Text
Inasa's text just reads: HE'S TRYING TO TAKE THE BLAME!!!!
Shouto is walking home from work when he gets it. He swears and goes to check Twitter immediately, searching Katsuki's fan tags. The result is about as ridiculous as could be expected. Horrified, he stares at the live news feed for a moment before pulling up their group's Line chat. He's been avoiding it for days, but now he fires off a single message.
What the FUCK is wrong with you?
He knows Katsuki won't even see it until he's done with this mistake of an interview, but Shouto wants to shout and scream anyway—he pockets his phone before he can get distracted just standing there in the middle of the street, furiously texting.
God fucking dammit. He's tried so hard this whole time to do everything right, but things keep going wrong. First the disaster that was his inability to keep his feelings in check watching his two friends together, then the horror of realizing they had him figured out. Nothing, however, could compare to the sinking feeling that had followed finding out about Katsuki "breaking up" with Inasa—or the phone call he'd had with Inasa afterwards where Inasa had told him…
It had been real, that whole time. The two of them, getting together not behind his back, but right under his nose. And they hadn't wanted to tell him, even though they're two of his closest friends and have been for years.
It must be pity. They were in love, but they knew about him, and couldn't return his feelings. The shame gnaws at him from inside, because as much as Katsuki hates being pitied, yells and rages whenever he detects the barest hint of it, Shouto hates it too. He just prefers to loathe himself quietly, until it practically hurts from the way his subconscious starts to eat itself.
He can't shake the feeling that it's his fault they broke up. That Katsuki called it off because he hates having people sacrifice things for him more than anything in the world. He's never truly gotten over All Might's final fight. And even if Inasa isn't sure what happened yet, at the core of things, Inasa is the noblest person Shouto knows. If either of them figured Shouto out, they wouldn't be able to just let things lie.
And then the latest article had come out, and Shouto had sensed the shitstorm brewing. But he hadn't thought Katsuki would do something as stupid as undo his entire reputation to take the fall for them—the exact thing they were all trying to prevent in the first place.
Shouto is going to kill him. At least then everyone will be talking about how he's a cold-blooded murderer, as opposed to Katsuki's pseudo-shady romantic dealings.
He makes it to the TV station in record time thanks to some not entirely sanctioned uses of his ice to speed through mostly deserted back alleys. The receptionist looks up, stunned, when he bursts in—but she's almost completely hidden by the figure towering in front of her who turns at Shouto's arrival.
"Shouto," Inasa says, and Shouto winces inwardly. He hasn't heard Inasa sound that cold towards him in a long time. "So, you came."
Has he figured it out since they last talked? Either way, it doesn't matter. Shouto looks towards the doors through which the studio set lies.
"I don't care what he thinks he's accomplishing," he says. "We can't let him do this."
"We won't!" Inasa says steadfastly, and despite the pit in his stomach, Shouto feels reassured.
Katsuki, unlike Shouto and Inasa, is not the bad boy everyone thinks he is. He follows the rules, and so he would never anticipate that the two of them would violently trespass onto a television set to stop him being an idiot.
So when Inasa flings open the doors with his quirk so hard they almost fly off the hinges, Katsuki (and the entire production crew) are startled, to say the least. There's some screaming.
"No property damage," Shouto mutters under his breath to Inasa. This is already enough of a PR nightmare.
"Right! Sorry!"
"What the—" Katsuki stands up from his seat, incensed. "What the hell are you two doing here?"
"Us?" Shouto asks, feeling rage starting to simmer in his blood, the kind only Katsuki can bring on. It's the kind of angry he gets when his idiot friend is being willfully stupid, hypocritically hurtful. "What are you doing? I thought I knew you better now, but I guess I was wrong."
"What are you talking about?" Katsuki snaps, teeth bared. He's cornered, and he knows it.
"I thought you of all people wouldn't throw everything away out of some stupid sense of self-righteousness," Shouto accuses him. "When did you get weak enough to try and martyr yourself out of pity?"
Katsuki's face flames red, not with embarrassment, but anger. "Fuck you," he says. Shouto decides not to remind him they're being broadcast live. "You have no idea why I'm doing this, so stay the hell out of it!"
"You never think about anyone but yourself!" Inasa says, voice nearly a bellow, fueled by his emotions.
"It was none of your business in the first place!" Katsuki says. Enraged, Inasa storms towards him, but even as he stalks closer, looming tall over Katsuki, he doesn't back down or stop tirading. "None of you thought about the position you'd put me in, the shit you'd land yourselves in, and now—"
Inasa grabs the front of his nice shirt and hoists him into the air so they can stare at each other at eye level. Katsuki's feet dangle, but he glares right back.
"Doesn't it matter to you that we were worried?" Inasa shakes him, forcing Katsuki to grab his arms. His palms are crackling. Some of the studio staff is beginning to take cover and the host looks like they're starting to regret their front row seat to the fight. "Do you hate us trying to help you that much?
"Shut UP, Yoarashi!" Katsuki shouts, looking a little wild now. "None of you did anything—"
"You're a LIAR!" Inasa yells in his face. "But so am I! Because I love you, so none of what we did was fake!"
He crashes his mouth into Katsuki's, and if anybody could have doubted his statement before, they couldn't now. Everything about the kiss is real and desperate and raw.
It makes Shouto's heart feel exposed. He realizes he's clutching at his uniform, trying to rub away the aching pain in his chest, but it won't go away.
This is what he wanted. He's supposed to be happy for them, so why can't he just let it go?
Suddenly, there's a loud pop and Katsuki's palms ignite against Inasa's arms. He finally manages to push Inasa away and the bigger man lets go, dropping him down to the floor. Katsuki puts distance between them like a wounded animal.
"You idiot!" he says, and his voice sounds as broken as Shouto's heart. "I broke up with you for him!" He stabs his finger in Shouto's direction and Shouto's stomach may as well drop through the floor.
"Bakugou—" he tries to choke out, "don't—"
"I did this for the two of you assholes!" Katsuki yells. "Don't you get it? You'll be happier together, Inasa! I'm not—I can't—" He drops his hand and finishes, on barely more than a hoarse whisper: "You don't see the way he looks at you."
"And you still think you know everything someone's thinking better than they do themselves!" Shouto explodes, finally unable to stand there and watch the two of them argue like he's not even there, because of him. "You stupid, arrogant—why did you have to make this so difficult? Where do you get off, being so selfless, when I'm so—so selfish?"
His voice sticks in his throat and he grits his teeth, clenching his shaking hands into fists. If he says this, they're both going to know, and they're going to hate him. But he just wants this to be over.
"Shouto?" Inasa asks, eyes wide. "You're not…" Shouto shakes his head to stop him and he falls silent. Next to Inasa, Katsuki is staring at Shouto like he's trying to rapidly calculate something.
"I came up with this damn plan because I want you to be together," he says. "I did want to help Katsuki, but I thought it would finally make you two realize how you felt about each other. And then I could finally—finally…"
"Finally what?" Katsuki rasps.
Shouto inhales a shuddering breath and gasps, "Finally stop being in love with you both."
For a long, long moment, the whole studio is pin drop silent.
"Wait," Katsuki whispers, "what?"
"What?" Inasa repeats.
The room feels like it's spinning. Shouto closes his eyes against it. "I thought if I had no chances left, I could get over it. That it wouldn't be as painful, but… that was wrong."
"You dumb fucker," Katsuki says, and Shouto tenses. God, here it comes; he tricked them both to save himself, and now it's out there. He's expecting Katsuki to blow up, start shouting, but it's Inasa who speaks first.
"Shouto!" he cries out. He sounds like he's nearly in tears.
Shouto opens his eyes, just in time to see Inasa descending upon him. He wraps his huge, long arms around Shouto entirely to hoist him into the air and hugs him so hard Shouto loses the ability to breathe. He feels like a kitten being crushed by an overenthusiastic toddler, arms trapped at his sides, eyes starting to bug out.
The fact that he's possibly slowly dying due to asphyxiation doesn't register with him. What is going on?
"Inasa—Inasa," Katsuki says sternly, trying to pry him off. "Stop, you're murdering him."
"What—oh," Inasa says.
The pressure around Shouto's chest loosens as Inasa stops squeezing him; but it still feels like there's a hand clamped down around his heart. Inasa sets him back down on the ground and Shouto stares up at him, speechless.
Inasa puts his palms on Shouto's face, cupping his cheeks in his huge hands, and Shouto feels all the hurt that's been building up inside of him go rushing away, leaving him wobbly and drained. He sags in Inasa's big, comforting hold. Inasa smiles.
"I've always loved your eyes, too," he tells Shouto.
Huh? Shouto thinks. He's so shocked by this that he ends up pointing out the obvious. "You hated them when we first met."
"And then I realized how wrong that was."
"You weren't wrong, though," Shouto says, still dazed. Katsuki steps up next to Inasa, shaking his head.
"Would you stop being so stubborn for once and just listen?"
"To what?" Shouto asks, because he can't believe anything he's hearing yet, but then—
"WE LOVE YOU, TOO!" Inasa suddenly shouts, in true form, too excited to moderate himself.
All that comes out as Shouto processes this information is a whispered, "Ah."
"You moron," Katsuki says, like he's not the world's second biggest idiot, and then Inasa is kissing Shouto just as fiercely as he kissed Katsuki, before grabbing them both to crush them to his chest. The TV crew are starting to come out of hiding, sensing any potential danger has passed. The host looks speechless.
"Well, this is very—surprising? I'm…" he says, clearly floundering to try and get the show somewhat back on track, as if there's any hope of recovery.
The set doors fly open again. Everyone looks over once again, to see the last member of the group has arrived.
Camie stands there, one hand on her hip and what looks like a USB drive held up in the other. She flips her hair over her shoulder.
"It's about to get more surprising," she says. "You can all thank me when I'm done."
"So… wait, seriously? Everything they said about me was a set-up?"
All eyes are on Camie—the studio audience, the host, and most importantly, her three dearest and stupidest best friends who really don't deserve her. But for whatever reason, she has developed a soft spot for them. Maybe she's dumb, too—she gets called that a lot, probably because she's hot and blonde.
Whatever. It makes people way easier to screw over when they assume she's dumb.
Just like now.
"That's right, Katsuki baby," she says. "Make yourself an easy target and people are gonna aim for you. Fortunately, they got a bit sloppy, and I've been waiting for that."
For the past few months, all the alarm bells in Camie's head have been ringing with the sense that something isn't right. Not the three boys and their ridiculous "secret" infatuation with each other, she's known about that for years.
No, it's been the fact that every time Katsuki has so much as breathed the wrong way for the past year, he's got the scummiest kind of press swarming him like flies on dog shit, blowing everything he does out of proportion. It's gotten to the point that all the genuinely heroic shit he does has been swallowed up by minor negative incidents. The magazine that keeps churning out clickbait pieces about him had also realized that he's easy to dislike and easier to provoke—like with the incident involving their reporter and the stitches that kicked all of this off. It was around then that Camie felt certain.
"They've been trying to frame you the whole time," Camie says, and the audience gasps. "And I can prove it. Can we play the audio file on this?" She holds up the drive.
"Of—of course," says their flustered host, and an assistant hurries on to help get things set up.
"I had a lot of help," Camie admits. "Deku was actually suspicious for the same reasons, and we had Earphone Jack help us get this recording…"
She trails off as it starts to play, letting it speak for her.
"Somebody give me an update on that Ground Zero kid. He's got himself a partner now, huh? That wind hero?"
"Yes, sir, they just announced they started dating a little over a week ago."
"Huh… probably won't last long, but let's make sure. Put a tail on both of them, see if you can dig anything up that might speed up their break up."
On the interview couch, Inasa looks apoplectic with rage. Shouto's expression says he might be about to fling an icicle through someone's spleen.
Katsuki rubs his chin. "Damn."
The recording continues a little longer.
"Uh… sir, couldn't that get a little… unethical?"
"Did I ask you your opinion on journalism ethics? We won't even have to do much, you know how he overreacts. I didn't expect him to put Maeda in the hospital when we sent him out to get under the kid's skin, but one more incident like that and he'll be ruined for sure."
"They probably overheard something about our plan while they were following Bakugou and Yoarashi," Camie says. She has to speak a little louder to be heard over the audience murmuring in shock. Good, they're getting riled up, just like she hoped they would.
"How would they have found out if you were trying to keep things a secret?" the host asks her.
"Uh, Yoarashi has like, no inside voice," Camie says. "The only reason everybody else didn't figure it out is because Bakugou got cold feet so fast."
"I didn't get cold feet!" Katsuki yells. Camie sticks her tongue out at him.
"I figured they'd try to do something to screw up your relationship, and I could expose them for that," she says. "I didn't expect you to screw it up first, but it all worked out anyway."
"Why would they do something like this?" Inasa asks. "All this effort to ruin an innocent man's career?"
"Well, that depends on your definition of innocent," Camie says. They all look blankly at her and she snorts. "Okay, so I'm guessing none of you remember that video that went around a few years back of Katsuki blowing off that reporter's toupee on camera?"
"That was an accident," Katsuki says.
"Yeah, well, you went on record saying the guy was better off without the rag on his head anyway, so he should thank you," Camie reminds him. "That reporter is the owner of this magazine now."
"I can't… believe this…" Shouto says, shaking his head in disbelief. He's sandwiched between Inasa and Katsuki; Katsuki has one arm resting protectively over the back of the couch behind him. Inasa, hopeless sap that he is, keeps playing apologetically with Shouto's hair.
Camie sighs. All's well that ends well, except they're going to be totally insufferable from now on.
She's pretty happy about it.
"But Camie," Inasa says, frowning deeply, "if you knew all this from the start, why didn't you tell us in the first place, so we could plan how to expose them together?"
"Uhhh, because otherwise you three would have literally never sorted out your little situation?" The three of them all gape at her, shamed into silence. She shrugs and sighs. "It's okay. You're useless, and I am awesome. Don't worry about it."
"Listen—" Katsuki starts to say, and the host jumps in.
"Ground Zero, now that we've heard the full, uh, incredible story—is there anything you'd like to say, with everything out in the open?"
Katsuki glares at Camie for another second, eyes narrowed threateningly, before he turns back to the host. "A lot of what I said before, I stand by. I fight my own battles, and I shouldn't have gotten my friends involved. I don't like having them lie for me." He glances around at them all—Inasa, Shouto, and Camie—and nods decisively. "But given everything that happened, I'm grateful they did. And like hell any of us are gonna apologize."
Camie smiles; much less weepily than Inasa or Shouto, she'd like to add, and as the host continues to pepper the three lovebirds with questions, she creates a subtle illusion of herself looking very attentive and misty-eyed over their goopy responses while she actually checks her phone.
Predictably, pro hero stan Twitter is freaking out over the story.
so bakugou ends up with not 1 but 2 hot boyfriends? honestly wasnt a big fan before but gotta give the guy mad props now lol
GZ tried to protect all of them!!! god finally he is getting what he DESERVES i'm so happy for him
i am just sitting here in shock that they were all in love and never realized……this is soooo romantic and stupid alexa play crazy in love
It goes on and on, and most of it is in Katsuki's favor. They might have lied to everyone, but the True Story behind the Fake Dating seems to have captured the peoples' hearts. It is a damn good story, if Camie says so herself. And better than that…
She watches her three friends watch each other, like she has for years, as they answer questions, joke around, try to annoy one another. But for the first time in a long time, there's no uncertainty in the lingering gazes, no longing that only she notices when one of them looks away. There's just a lot of smiles and ridiculous heart eyes.
Camie thinks back to the moment in the coffee shop that she dropped the magazine on their table. She pockets her phone just in time to answer another question from their interviewer.
"And how do you think everything turned out?"
"Me?" she asks, tapping her chin. She smiles. "I think it turned out just like I planned."