Chapter Text
Sehun took him to a diner not far from the refinery. He gave him is heavy coat since Junmyeon’s was ripped away from his body when he was getting the beat down. He promised to get him a new one, but Junmyeon told him not to worry about it.
They walked there in the dark. It was cold enough to see their breath in the mix with the cigarette smoke. Sehun held his hand to keep them warm since he didn’t have any gloves, making him feel heated throughout his whole body. They walked mostly in silence, on the empty sidewalks. Junmyeon never felt so threatened by the silence before.
They arrived at the nearly lifeless diner. There was one waitress, one cook, and no one else’s. It reminded Junmyeon of that one place in the movies that always got rodded.
They sat and the waitress brought over two cups of coffee without asking. She took out her pen and pad.
“The usual, kid?” She spoke in a rough voice.
“Yeah,” Sehun answered.
“What will he have?” She nodded her head to Junmyeon.
“He’ll have the soup.”
“What kind?”
“Whatever kind you got.”
She took their orders and walked away. Junmyeon just sat there silently, watching her go, before turning his sight back to Sehun. He looked dented under the harsh lighting, showing off more of his faded scars on his face and hands.
The little kid tapped his fingers on the table three times before speaking. “How much do you want to know?”
“All of it.” The big kid answered him.
Sehun signed slowly as he blinked and pursed his lips. He looked away from him for a long moment before turning back. He leaned in, both elbows on the table. He looked as if he aged four hundred years now.
“I started while I was in middle school.” He began. “And once it started, I didn’t know how to make it stop. I didn’t want to really.”
Sehun told him everything.
Turned out his father had a large amount of debt of some kind to one of the gangs. He never paid back any of the money which caused a lot of problems at home between his parents. Sehun didn’t know it at the time, and the full realization of the deadly problem didn’t really hit him till he was walking home one night alone. A group of three thugs attacked him, trying to send the message to his father back home when he’s only son showed up in bruises and broken bones. Sehun beat them, reversing the damage onto them. That was his first fight, and he won without much effect apparently.
Junmyeon asked him how he was that good that early on. Sehun told him fighting his father throughout his childhood was great practice.
The leader of the gang showed up to his home the next day, offering Sehun a deal. His mother and father were present for once, and it was the most intense moment in his young life.
The gang leader offered to forgive his father’s debt if he joined his group of thugs, which meant fully committing his loyalty to a critical group for the rest of his life.
Sehun refused, telling the leader he rather fuck his mother. The gang leader only smacked him and left. The real punishment came afterward with his father.
His father threw him out after that, swearing to never speak to him again and officially disowning him. He was mad at him for not helping him out with his debt, which would make all their lives easier. Sehun considered it revenge for himself, giving the man who made his childhood hell exactly what he deserved. He told Junmyeon he doesn’t regret his decision, even to that day.
Junmyeon asked him where he stayed after that. Sehun told him he moved place to place, mostly sleeping outside in the park near the apartments. Junmyeon asked him why he didn’t come to him. He would have kept him in his room and not told anyone. He could have been warm and safe.
“I didn’t want to bring you into all of this. I was afraid that my father would find out and kill off both.” Sehun explained.
“You still should have come to me.” Junmyeon firmly told him.
“You took care of me enough during my childhood. I didn’t want to burden you more.”
“Burden me?”
“Anyway,” Sehun changed the subject quickly. He could tell Junmyeon was about to go off with his tone. “It’s good I didn’t. Or else things would be different.”
“What do you mean?”
Sehun went on to tell him he was soon approached by another gang leader. This was the second one he had encountered, out of the big three that ran inside the town. The leader offered him a spot in his alliance, which Sehun refused again. This time when he did, he had to face the dozen or so thugs that the leader brought along with. Sehun won again. He beat them all, and walked away without any injuries.
They left him alone after that, but the younger members of the gang took notice of him then, talking to him at school. They were all members of the different gangs in the city. They respected him, treating him as if he was an equal. Sehun never got that before from anyone other than Junmyeon, and he grew to like that too much for his own good.
It was the summer before him entering into High School when the same gang leader that meant him the second time came forward to him again. The leader offered another position again, but not within his gang. He offered Sehun to be the Simpan of all the gangs.
“What’s that?” Junmyeon asked after the waitress walked away. She placed a burger and fries in front of both of them and refilled their coffees.
“It’s like the peacekeeper for all of the gangs. It’s my job to make sure none of them are fighting with each other. Or plotting something to take down the other two.” Sehun told him in a low voice. He took a bite of his burger before continuing on.
“He explained everything to me. That I wasn’t in a gang but I would be paid by all the gangs. That they had connects to find me a place to live. I had been homeless for about a year then, and I was desperate.”
Junmyeon didn’t say anything to that because he wasn’t sure if he knew himself what to say. He felt so bad for being so clueless on his little kid being homeless for so long in his life. He hated himself for not seeing it sooner. It was all these years afterward...
“Did you take it?” Junmyeon asked.
“Yeah,” Sehun answered. “That sounds so shitty of me, but at the same time, I just wanted a home with heating and food.”
“I understand.” Junmyeon nodded along in support. “You did what you had to do.”
Sehun goes on to tell of how he had to handle all the stupid little spats between all the members, how he had to keep all the gang meetings non-violent (as much as possible) and keep everyone in line and to follow all the rules of each gang.
“What rules?” Junmyeon asked.
“Just the basic standards that they all have to follow. Like they can trespasses over each other territory without notice and all that. Just basically don’t fuck around with each other. Like “stay in your lane, and we will stay in our” kind of thing. It’s dumb how they push it sometimes.”
Junmyeon twisted a fry in his hand. “Is the whole... manjil su eobsneun thing apart of that?”
“Yeah. That’s the one that rarely broken.” Sehun stated.
“Why?”
“The punishment is death.” Sehun’s emotionless tone was the most frightening part of that answer.
Junmyeon thought back to his time in the refinery and the talk he had with Lay. He recalled how he told him that the other boy that Sehun fought had twenty or plus stitches in his face. Junmyeon couldn’t breathe.
“Am I...?” His voice died down at the question.
“Yes.” Sehun didn’t wait for him.
Junmyeon took another moment to breathe. “Are you...?”
“No. He didn’t know. That and I’m not a total animal. You wouldn’t want me to do that.”
Junmyeon nodded weakly. He was right, but that didn’t change the sudden twisting and turning in his stomach. He lost his appetite now. He had forgotten about his bruised ribs.
Junmyeon sat there in silence and watched the other boy eat as he thought about the situation he was in. This was what he didn’t want Sehun to grow into, yet here he was. He was still Sehun, his little kid with a level head and decent morals, but he was still a thug that ran around with other thugs. It seemed like his want was heard by God or whoever but they gave it back to him in the worse way possible. He only asked for Sehun to get out of that house and to live a good and happy life. Was this really it?
“Is it hard?” Junmyeon asked him. “Your job?”
“It’s calmed down. When I first came in, all hell broke loose.”
“What happen?”
About six months into the job, Sehun was in the middle of the three gang leaders. The one that visited him the first time, over his father’s debt, had broken the manjil su eobsneun rule. He and a few other respected members had apparently gang-raped the other gang leader’s, Xiumin, younger sister. She was fifteen and it happened under his roof, with his mother in the other room.
“Dear God...” Junmyeon was appalled.
“Xiumin tortured them all to death. I had to come along and monitor it, to make sure the deed was done.
Junmyeon saw how dark his eyes got then. He wasn’t looking at him when he said it, which is the first time he has done that while telling the story. He could only imagine the take it took on Sehun to be so young and to see that.
Junmyeon reached out for his hand across the table. His long fingers were cold and rough feeling.
“Sehun...”
“It’s fine. It’s the way things go. Besides, I got off easy.” He told him. “The rules say that I’m supposed to get some kind of punishment too since I’m the one to make sure that kind of shit doesn’t happen. Xiumin gave me some slack though. He thought I was too young. Too fresh.”
“You still had to see that though.” Junmyeon concurred.
“It is what it is, babe.” Sehun looked so cold.
Junmyeon didn’t know how to reply. He wanted to hug the boy, but he knew that was the last thing he would let him do in public.
“Are you okay?” He finally asked.
“I’m okay,” Sehun assured him. “Really, I’m alright.”
Junmyeon didn’t know to believe him or not. He let him fall into the lie when he squeezed his hand back, lacing their fingers together. His skin burned.
“What happens after that?” Junmyeon asked him.
“That gang fell apart. They crumbled. They were left without any leadership and their all fucking idiots themselves.” Sehun drunk the last of his coffee and laid back in his booth seat.
“Is that the gang your father owned money too?”
“Yeah. It’s all the bunch of fuckers that can’t follow anything to save their lives.” Sehun’s tone turned angry and sour.
“What do you mean?”
“They divided amongst themselves, trying to get the other’s to convert over to their way of thinking. It caused a lot of fights to break out. That’s another one of the rules, you don’t fight among your own gang members. They did this at school, screaming out shit that citizens shouldn’t hear before getting into a fight. I had to break it up.”
Junmyeon sat there and put the dots together. “Was that the fight that got you expelled?”
“Yeah.” Sehun nodded. “They fell apart eventually. Now there’s only two. Xuimin’s gang and Kyungsoo’s gang. They were always the calmer ones.”
Junmyeon observed all the information being thrown at him at the moment. He knew there were gangs in the city. It was almost impossible not to know, especially when he graduated with a good percent of them. But he didn’t realize it was like a well-organized community of its own. There were laws and expectations for each member, despite who their allegiance was too. He was shocked and somewhat impressed. This was more than he expected out of any of them. He still wasn’t sure how he felt with Sehun being involved in it all, acting as some sort of a cop for them all. It was too dangerous for comfort.
“Is it all... better now?” Junmyeon questioned. He didn’t know a better way to say it.
“Yeah. It’s better now. I’ve been here for a few years now. I used to it all now.”
“Any complications other than...” Junmyeon didn’t want to be a complication to Sehun.
“You’re not. You’re not that to me.” Sehun emphasized that to him. He squeezed his hand again, running his thumb over his in a comforting effect. “I’m happy I told you all of this. It feels better.”
The air between them felt a lot better from this. Junmyeon feels like this is the first time he really saw Sehun in years. This was what he wanted all along. He didn’t care for the gang doing anymore. He just wanted to keep this Sehun for as long as he could.
They paid for their meals and left the diner. Sehun made him keep his coat on as they walked in the direction of Junmyeon’s home. He still held Sehun’s hand though, walking in his cold. Breathing in the cold air hurt his chest more, but he didn’t mind.
They walked mostly in silence again. It wasn’t till later on when they were yards away from the apartment complex and it was in sight. The sky was now becoming a light blue, showing that it was about morning.
“I’m sorry.” Sehun began. “I’m sorry if I disappoint you in life.”
“You could never disappoint me,” Junmyeon told him with a soft smile. He was telling him the truth.
Sehun smiled at him. “I promise to find a way for you to go to college. It might take me some time, but I promise.”
“It’s alright, Sehun. You don’t have to do that. I’m sorry for my mother.”
“It’s not your fault. You don’t have to apologize for her.” Sehun told him. They arrived up at the steps to the front door. Junmyeon wanted to invite him to come along up to his room, just to be around him. He knew that wasn’t possible though.
“You know, you should really move out.” Sehun suddenly concurred to him. He had yet to let go of Junmyeon’s hand, even when he began to move away from him. “Like, you’re still living with your mom and you’re like 20 or something.”
“I’m 19.”
“Still. You should, like, move in with a friend or something.”
Junmyeon was about to sass him until he finally understood what the boy was actually doing. He was putting up a front again like he normally did, but Junmyeon saw through it this time. He always knew better when it came to his little kid.
“A friend,” Junmyeon asked.
“Yeah, a friend.”
“Like you?”
Sehun took a moment. “Yeah, I mean. I didn’t say that, but I guess so, yeah.”
Junmyeon smirked up to him, watching his facial expressions stay the same with some struggle. His eyes brows were twitching. “What?”
“Nothing.”
“What?” Sehun asked him again.
“I just think it’s funny.”
“What’s funny?”
“That after only one date, you already want me to move in with you. By our second date, you’ll want to marry me.”
Junmyeon just caught enough time to see him smile and blush before looking away and giggling. Junmyeon did the same, like the way he looked. He was taken back, and Junmyeon liked how he could still flirt with him and get that reaction out of him, despite it all.
“Remember that one time, when we were out here waiting for the bus, your mom was screaming outside the window like normal, and she told you to stop flirting with me,” Sehun recalled and joked.
“My God...” Junmyeon exaggerated. Sehun was laughing like a madman. “That was the worst moment of my life. And the whole damn neighborhood heard it too.”
Sehun laughed on, throwing his arms on Junmyeon’s shoulders and around his neck. Junmyeon beamed up to him again, and the other boy smiled down at him with a look in his eyes that Junmyeon thought was loving.
“I kiss you right now if your bottom lip wasn’t ugly and busted,” Sehun told him in a low tone like it was more to himself than him.
Junmyeon pouted up to him, batting his eyes. Sehun only kissed him on the head, into his poodle hair locks. Junmyeon felt warm again.
Sehun took hold of hands, his skin just as cold as his. Junmyeon didn’t want to let go. He didn’t want to go back home to a crazy alcoholic and no future. The only good thing he had going for him now was Sehun, and he was reluctant to leave that.
“How about I pack a back for the night and tomorrow, and we can have a little sleepover like we use to back at your place?” Junmyeon offered.
Sehun looked down at him for a long moment before tilting his head. “I wouldn’t mind.”
Junmyeon grinned widely at his victory. He pecked the taller boy on the cheek. “I’ll be right back, okay?”
“Okay.” Sehun smiled at him again. Junmyeon left him to climb the stairs and to enter back inside. He still felt his eyes on him the whole time.
Junmyeon quickly went up the steps onto his floor. He entered into his apartment quietly, closing the door without making it squeak the best he could. His mother wasn’t on the couch and he hoped that she was in her bedroom, passed out like normal. She might have just relapsed, but he knew better than to undermine her alcohol consumption.
He was able to get to his room and pack his bag halfway before she started calling for him. She came out stumbling from somewhere and she leaned against his door frame. His back was turned to her as he felt her watch him carefully. He just went along packing his bag, trying his best to get out faster.
She asked him where he was going. He simply told her that he was going on a trip with some friends. Nothing big or far off.
She didn’t respond for a long time. Junmyeon finished packing, taking all the money he had with him. He turned finally to find her looking at him with a hard expression.
“You smell like cigarette smoke.”
Junmyeon knew that tone. He knew what was about to come. He had to get out now.
He strapped his bag around his shoulder, ignoring the pain he had from the pressure and walked on, trying to get past her in the doorway. She grabbed hold of him at the last second, making him turned to face her fully. She was ugly and the scent of vodka was unbelievable strong on her. It was like he just snorted germ-x.
“Whose coat is this?”
Junmyeon didn’t answer. He only tried to remove her claw-like hands from his chest.
“Whose coat is this?” She repeated in a raspy and mean tone.
“It’s just a friend’s coat.” He told her. She was glaring at him with rage. She was upset and angry just to be upset and angry. That was normal for her when she was drunk.
“Whose coat is this?”
“A friend’s-
“WHOSE COAT-?!”
“MOM STOP!”
Junmyeon broke away from her. He moved towards the door at the same time she moved to the window. He realized this a second too late, stopping and turning right as she opens the curtains to look down and find Sehun there, waiting for him on the sidewalk.
He signed before she turned back to him with a harsh glare than before.
“So now you’re whoring yourself off, huh?”
“Mom-!” He barely got that out in time before the empty liquor bottle was thrown and slammed down on the glass top coffee table. He covered his head and face as glass flew everywhere and blind dived into the direction of the door. He ran out seconds before her screaming continued. He already down the steps by the time she ran into the hallway.
He sped down the steps and out the entryway. He grabbed Sehun, who looked fully alarmed and on guard.
“We need to go now.”
“Why? What’s going on?”
“Nothing. Just walk fast and don’t look back no matter what she says.”
Junmyeon and Sehun walked on quickly till they reached the next turn. It was still early in the morning, not a lot of people have woken up to go to work yet. They didn’t hear any yelling behind them soon enough and they slowed there paste. That was the first time Junmyeon was able to run away from his mother’s rage without much struggle. It seems easy now.
It was then when Junmyeon told himself this was his way out. At first, it was his education, that ended up in smoke from the same thing he was trying to get away from. Now, it was Sehun who was acting as his escape. It was ironic really. For such a long time, Junmyeon was his escape from his toxic home life. Now the roles have reversed, and maybe, with time, they can work it out to where they can just take care of each other.
“Let’s go home.” Sehun took him by the hand and led him on into a new direction.