Chapter Text
Whenever Vanya had to visit Dad's study, he instructed her to “Come sit, Number Seven.” and so she sat, on the very edge of a large uncomfortable chair, her bony elbows barely touching the armrests. She was sure everything about her posture screamed ready to bolt. It never seemed to bother Dad. This time it was no different.
Reginald sat behind his massive oak table, going on some tangent Vanya wasn't listening to. She never did. Whenever she was alone with him her anxiety got the best of her and she could never pay attention even if she wanted to.
“What did I do? What did I do? What did I do?...” the thoughts buzzed on a loop.
Dad asked her something and she heard herself say “Where are the others?” in place of an answer.
“Don't you remember?” Dad taunts with an uncharacteristically lively voice, “You killed them all.”
Memories hit Vanya like a tidal wave. Allison with her neck split. Leonard, knives sticking out of his chest. Pogo, body pierced through by the antlers. Her brothers, their lives slowly slipping away, because of her. All of this was because of her. Suddenly she feels the darkness sticking to her, nothing but darkness around, other than her, the chair, the table and Dad with a sickening grimace on his face.
Vanya screamed.
…
“You have to use it!” Five snapped at Allison after minutes of fruitless attempts to calm down a crying Vanya. Tears were streaming down her eyes and she didn't seem to be aware that her two siblings were there. At least she stopped screaming, thought Five, but it hardly gave him any peace.
“I can’t!” Allison opposed “You know why I can't.”
He in fact didn't, but he sure as hell wasn't going to tell her that.
“I don't care Allison. Look at her.”
Vanya was sitting on her bed, knees drawn to her chest, fingers gripping her calves hard enough to leave bruises. Her choked sobs resonated through the room, making all the small objects in there shake violently.
“Vanya.” Alisson whispered softly, kneeling in front of her sister, taking Vanya's head gently into her hands, making her look up and meet Allison's gaze, “Vanya I know you can hear me. Just please talk to me. There is no reason to be afraid or sad. I- We love you. And you’re alright.”
It didn't seem to have any more effect then any of their previous attempts. Allison dispiritedly looked up at Five, who just nodded. He was not any happier about it than she was.
“Vanya.” Allison said, putting her sister’s sweaty hair behind her ears. “I’m so sorry. I heard a Rumor that you felt better.”
….
Ben was there.
Ben was there when Klaus went to the bathroom in the morning. He was brushing his teeth and babbling about some new album he had.
Ben was there, in front of him in the line when they walked to the dining room (how had he not found that custom strange first time around?).
Ben was there, across the table as they waited for Dad to allow them to sit.
The fact that Ben was there (moderately happy, alive Ben, not ‘I was stuck with Klaus for 17 years and it made me emo’ Ben) meant so much to Klaus. He wasn’t even too concerned about Dave disappearing a little while after he finally materialized, or about being under the same roof as Dad all over again, or about wearing a crappy school uniform.
“Sit.” Dad commanded. Just like the obedient little soldiers they used to be, they listened.
They were eating in silence (except for Dad's favorite old records of ‘Herr Boring Guy’). Klaus looked over his siblings. The only people who looked moderately comfortable with the situation were Ben and Luther. One who never knew anything else (naïve little Benny) and the other who couldn't get his thick monkey head over the fact that this was not how children should be raised. Vanya, who didn't seem much better than the previous day, was focusing on holding the cutlery, her hands shaking. It seemed obvious that she was just trying not to have her powers exploding in front of Dad. Allison, on the other hand was not paying attention to her food at all. Instead she was throwing concerned looks in Vanya's direction. Diego somehow managed to look like his older self even in a 15-years-old body. All dark and brooding, just radiating the righteous anger while spinning a knife in his hand to the rhythm of Herr Boring Guy's monotone voice. With Vanya’s knife loudly scraping against the plate, they seemed ready to kick off one of those extremely edgy rock songs Ben loved.
Herr Boring Guy was just saying something about rock climbing and why it is bad for your knees, when Dad slowly cleaned his fork by the napkin, folding it neatly, before saying:
“Number Seven.”
Vanya visibly flinched, accidently dropping her cutlery on the floor. Mom immediately set forth to lift it for her only to be stopped by Dad's raised hand.
“There seems to be something of a matter with you.” Dad stated.
Vanya gaped at him, not capable of a word. Klaus could see water in her glass already beginning to shake. By the panicked looks in his siblings’ eyes he could tell he was not the only one.
“She‘s just tired Dad,” blurted Allison. Reginald didn't take his eyes off Vanya.
“You speak when you are requested to, Number Two.”
“I-I'm..”Vanya stuttered shakily, the tremor now spreading from the water to the glass itself. And Reginald seemed to notice too. “Allison is right. I-I didn't sleep,” She replied weakly.
Dad nodded, leaving Klaus relieved for a second, until he continued “I will see you in my study afterwards, Number Seven.”
…
Griddy’s Doughnuts looked exactly the same as Five remembered them from the future. The only thing that showed that it was not in fact 2018 was Agnes the waitress, having less winkles and still mostly blonde hair. Five had to admit that he liked the place (except for those not so nice memories of killing a dozen people in there and the fact that their coffee was barely decent at best). It was the first thing that came into his mind when Mom, without a warning, opened the door into Vanya’s room to call her for a breakfast.
Spatial jumping not even a day after taking seven people who-knows how many years to the past was obviously not a very good idea since he ended up throwing up his empty stomach in the middle of filled up doughnut shop. Nobody seemed to be bothered by the fact that he literally just appeared in there.
Agnes was immediately fussing over him and for once Five felt too shitty to complain. An hour later, he was sitting in the backroom of the shop with a mug of hot cocoa and a plate filled with doughnuts that he never asked for, but his 13-year-old body loved. And Five was pretty sure Agnes had never been nauseous in her life or she wouldn’t have given those to someone who just threw up.
However, there was never a time to waste feeling sorry for himself. He had to at least start his calculations, to make sure they won’t cause another apocalypse by stepping on the wrong butterfly. First came the most important thing in every time jump. The date. One thing they were never sure about in the academy, living in their small closed off world. So, Five picked up the newspapers that Agnes left on the table, putting it in his lap to look over it.
“Just fucking great.” He cursed, staring at the page for a while longer, before tearing out the front and stuffing it in his pocket.
…
Entering Dad’s study, right after breakfast, Vanya felt like she was falling back into her nightmare. When Mom closed the door, after giving her one last encouraging smile, Vanya was, on a big part, sure she was going to die. Dad found out about her power and now he was going to kill her.
Reginald was already sitting behind his desk, unrecognizable from the one in Vanya’s dream.
“Come sit, Number Seven.” He commanded. Vanya felt the most unwelcome kind of déjà vu. She sat down quickly, even though it made her head spin. She sure hoped she didn’t look as bad as she felt, her whole body shaking and cold with sweat. Her head hurt like someone was trying to cut it open with a chainsaw. To dad, all this could be explained by one word: weakness. And even though Vanya was not one of his little soldiers, he applied the same standards on all of them. No weakness allowed in The Umbrella Academy.
Dad studied her with his hawkish eyes for a way too long, making her fidget under his glance.
“Are you taking your medication?” he asked, “I am concerned about your health.”
He looked anything but.
“I’m!” Vanya replied squeakily. Even she knew it was nowhere near convincing so she added “But.. I just ran out yesterday… so I didn’t take them this morning.”
Reginald scowled, pulling another bottle of pills from the drawer and putting it on the table for Vanya to take.
“Don’t forget again. It’s for your own good and you know it, Number Seven” He said condescendingly as Vanya took the bottle with unsteady hands and put it in her pocket.
Vanya just nodded, not trusting her voice to not sound entirely pathetic.
“You may go.”
…
Mom's warm smile was the only thing that kept Vanya from dropping on the ground right after closing the door.
“Are you alright sweetie?” Grace asked, her voice filled with concern “You look pale.”
Mom put her hand on Vanya's wet forehead. Vanya had to hold herself not to flinch away from the physical contact.
“You are burning up!” Grace gasped.
“I’m fine.” Vanya protested automatically.
“I will have none of that Missy. You are just like your brothers!” Mom fretted but instantly shifted back to her beaming self, “I know what would help you. A cup of tea!”
Not asking any question, she gently took Vanya by the hand, leading her to the kitchen. The walk seemed to take miles, with how uncertain her steps felt, her head painful and dizzy.
In the kitchen, Mom had Vanya sit while she put the kettle on the stove. She even turned on a radio, softly singing along with some sixties folk music. Vanya tried to take in that scene for what it was: Mom being bright, beautiful and kind like she always was, but all she could think of was how she made this very same building fall apart not very long ago, with Mom inside. She couldn’t remember what happened clearly, all these times when she got taken over by her White Violin persona being all blurry and disconnected, like she’s watching a very bad recording of someone else’s life. That wouldn’t calm her down at all, instead it did the opposite. If she could be overtaken by her powers like that, Vanya was terrified of what she may do the next time.
A thump of the mug on the table interrupted Vanya’s train of thoughts. Sitting on the other end of the table, Grace pushed the mug closer to Vanya and said: “You don’t have to be so nervous Vanya. I am sure your father will be happy that you are taking time off for your health.”
It took Vanya a while to put together what exactly Mom said.
“I’m not- I’m not worried about that.” Vanya said and for once it was true.
She wondered how bad it must have been the last few years when Grace recognized that she is afraid of Dad. “They won’t even notice I’m gone.” She continued sadly and once again truly. Dad may be mad that she is not there to play assistant in his training sessions, but it’s not like anyone else would mind.
That wasn’t true, Vanya reminded herself. Not anymore. They could see her this time.
Because she almost killed them all, and just the thought of that made her eyes water. She barely took notice of most of the tableware and cutlery in the kitchen starting to vibrate.
Grace reached across the table, taking Vanya’s hand into her own and smiling softly. Vanya did vaguely notice that she was crying, for the second time that day. If those were the emotions her pills had suppressed, then she was not so sure she wanted them. Vanya closed her eyes to stop the tears, but her eyelids had a picture of her dying siblings burned on them. She felt Grace’s soft hands, stroking away the tears, as she whispered some calming words Vanya couldn’t hear. After a while, Grace walked around the table to Vanya’s side, taking her in her arms.
That’s how Diego found them. Vanya clinging to Mom’s side, sobbing soundlessly, while Grace gently stroked her hair.
“What’s wrong?” He asked. Grace met his eyes with a smile (when did Mom not smile?).
“Your sister is just not feeling very well today.” She explained. Vanya finally took notice of Diego’s presence, her face filling up with shame and a bit of fear. It made Diego’s stomach clench. He could remember those times when he would laugh at her for looking so pathetic. It would make him feel better to know that the girl whose book fucked up his life in a new way, was suffering. But not now. Now all he could see was his sister, who they treated like trash for so long that she lost it. Who tried her best to be a good guy, but failed in the end. She may have ended the world, but that was not on her alone. It was a group fucking effort. Just another successful mission of The Umbrella Academy.
“Could I talk to Vanya for a second Mom? Alone.” he requested, though he hated to interrupt the scene. Grace looked a tad confused, but quickly agreed. She always seemed to simultaneously know more and less than she should.
Diego was left alone with puffy eyed Vanya who looked at him like he was there to murder her and that made him feel especially shitty.
“Are you alright?”
Even as those words left his mouth, Diego knew exactly how dumb of a question it was.
Vanya nodded, violently scrubbing away the leftover tears with the back of her hand.
“You wanna talk about it?”
He so sucked at these kinds of things and he knew it.
Vanya turned her head in “No” and Diego, not knowing what else to do in a situation like this, just took the matter for resolved. If Vanya wanted to cry on someone's shoulder it wouldn't be Diego. Mustering together all the emotional intelligence his brain had offer, he took a blanket Mom used to cover an old bench in the corner of the room, tucking Vanya in it.
“Let's go. The others are waiting,” He muttered already reddening in the face over the gentleness of the whole act. He was not used to this. Diego was a “breaking bones and cracking skulls" kind of guy, not “tucking your sister in the blanket and slowly walking her around the house not to scare her, though you don't have that much time" kind of guy. At one moment Vanya gripped his hand and whispered “Thank you" with a voice no longer laced with tears and Diego smiled a little into those empty halls. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone.
…
They met in Allison’s room, since she had the biggest one of them all (Why that was, Klaus never found out, but suspected that it had something to do with her powers). It was big enough that Luther didn’t have to fold himself like a folding chair to fit in. All the siblings were there, all except Ben. It made Klaus feel like shit, not because they left him out of it, he understood why Ben couldn’t know. He felt like shit because they have done the same thing to Vanya for years and he had never even considered that there was something wrong about that.
Vanya was as pale as death, her whole body shaking, her eyes red from crying, sitting by Diego of all people. That made Klaus a bit worried, not the Diego part, but the fact that she looked this bad when even Five, who took six people into the past not a day ago, seemed almost fine. Before he could say anything about it, Allison spoke up:
“How are you feeling Van?”
Vanya blinked furiously, shocked over the question. With her nervousness a cup of pens on Allison's table began spinning under her power.
“I‘m alright.” Vanya squeaked and that was by far the worst lie of the day.
“What did Dad want?” Diego asked the question they were all contemplating.
“He just reminded me that I should take my pills.” Vanya replied and the mood in the room dropped by about 15 degrees. They all remember Vanya from the future, furious about being modulated her whole life, being forced to take those pills to suppress her powers.
“You shouldn't take them,” Allison said just as Luther stated: “You should take them.”
Klaus could see Five, siting at the windowsill, looking like he is physically holding the urge to roll his eyes. When Diego followed Luther’s statement with an angry: “Sure thing Wonder boy, if Dad thinks it's the right thing to do, of course you would follow.” Klaus could feel Five's annoyance himself. Those two were once again getting into one of their arguments, taking the attention of what was truly important because of their petty fights.
“I am not saying that because of Dad!”
“Like you didn't lock her into a damned vault when she needed our help!”
“I didn't know! As a leader-"
“As a leader? You haven't been our leader for years!”
The tremor spread. It was not just the small objects anymore. Klaus could feel the bed under him shaking. He got to his feet. Clapping his hands dramatically he said:
“That’s enough champs! Break the dick measuring contest, I have something to say! Though if I had to decide it I would put my money on Diego. Though that monkey thing could do you some good-"
“Klaus.” Luther interrupted, his voice laced with anger.
“Oh yeah, right!” Klaus took a little break to build up the tension and half of his siblings looking like they may throw him out of the window for it, “I think you should take those pills Van.”
Nobody was more shocked by this statement than Vanya.
“I know you hate it and I feel for you sis. But look at yourself. I know a withdrawal when I see one.”
Well now they didn’t look like they wanted to throw him out of the window, instead they were probably thinking of a lobotomy.
“You didn't take them this morning, right? So how many times the day do you usually take them?”
“Six.” Vanya answered quietly, barely a whisper.
“You took those pills for who knows how long, and they are strong enough to keep those insane powers of yours at bay.” Klaus gestured to the still spinning cup “That is some strong shit and it's not something you can just stop taking without any side effects.”
Vanya looked at him like a kicked puppy and Klaus thought that he should probably feel bad about making her feel that way. But it also feels so damn good to be taken seriously for once.
“I hate to say it, but Klaus is right.” Five admits. Klaus has a sudden urge to hug that little demon but is also very sure this one would definitely end up with him falling out of that window.
“I’m sorry Vanya, but we can’t afford Dad realizing something is wrong because you can’t control your powers.” Even though Five sounded like his usual nasty self, Klaus can somehow sense that he, in fact, really was sorry.
Vanya just nods. Klaus couldn’t imagine what was going on in her head at the moment, but she seemed like she had almost accepted it.
He once more felt like a complete asshole.
“We can reduce the dosage,” Klaus added, “You can get off it. It just takes time.”
“It's okay. I understand." Vanya said with yet another fake ass smile on her face. It sure as hell was not okay, but Klaus would give her a benefit of not talking about that in front of all their siblings.
“There is one more thing,” Five continued after a while of silence,“Ben is going to die.” He stated bluntly.
Klaus couldn't help it but scoff, taking his eyes off Vanya and putting back on his carefree persona.
“Yeah, we kind of knew that Detective. I’m gonna be a drug addict, Vanya is gonna write a book, Allison is gonna shank Harrison Ford, Luther is going to the moon and Ben is gonna die. Those are kind of facts pal.”
“No. Ben is going to die,” Five repeated sternly, “in four days.”
Now everyone was silent, only the cup dropping loudly on the table.
“It's September the 18th. Ben dies on the 22st.”
Five took a crumpled newspaper page out of his pocked, giving it to Klaus who only took a quick look at the heavily scribbled on page, then passing it to Vanya. It must have been the first time ever that Five felt a need to prove anything to them.
“Let me guess: we can't stop that?” Diego asked, his usual anger seeping into his voice.
“Actually, I took in all the possible scenarios,” Five stated, Klaus involuntary losing a focus on what he was saying as his brother started on one of his scientific lectures Klaus always slept though as a child. Instead he focused on the absolute mess of papers all around the floor. Torn out pages from Allison's numerous sketchbooks from her wannabe fashion designer days, filled with the messiest writing Klaus have ever seen. At least Five didn't manifest his crazy on the walls this time.
“-so then dying or not dying has a minimal effect on the spacetime interflux. And if considering the Multiverse theory as valid in this case, then it shouldn't affect our personal timelines either.” Five finished and none of the siblings seem too bright over the idea of what he just told them.
Five sighed and looked them all over (in that way that always made Diego throw his knives at him even when they were little), before condescendingly adding:
“We can try to save Ben.”