Chapter Text
Ash looked down at Eiji’s motionless body and reached for his arm. Pressing his figures against Eiji’s ice cold skin he listened. Nothing. There was no heartbeat. There as nothing left but darkness….
“Eiji.” His voice sounded hollow and empty. Eiji didn’t stir, he would never move again. Ash opened his mouth and called Eiji’s name again, as if it had the power to revise him. Nothing changed. Then suddenly he became aware of something else in the room with him. Around his torso he felt hands grasping him as they began to drag him away from Eiji. He tried to fight them off but then one look at Eiji reminded him that there was no reason left to struggle. He slumped down, allowing the hands to drag him away from the corpse of his beloved. He didn’t fight. He didn’t care if they were dragging him to Hell, he’d willingly go. For his crimes against Eiji, Hell wasn’t enough of a punishment.
“Ash!” a voice cut through the darkness like a knife. Ash became aware that there was a soft bed lying under him; that his eyes were closed. The hand that had been dragging him away in his dreams were still present. The were on his shoulders shaking him lightly. “Wake up!” Ash gave a small grunt and opened his eyes. He was in one of room in his base. The room was dark with the curtains drawn, but Ash could see the light shining dully though them showing him that it was day. Realizing where he was Ash gave a sigh of relief, it was just a dream…..No, it might not have been a dream. For all he knew Eiji could be pulseless still. He could be dead and gone, his eyes still staring horrified up at nothing.
Ash’s heart started pumping fast as a wave of energy hit him and he was fully awake. He pushed himself up in the bed and instantly felt dizzy. Gritting his teeth, he put his arms on ether side of the bed to stead himself.
“Whoa, hold up Ash.” A voice said next to him and the hands that had left his shoulder when he had moved, appeared again securely wrapped around his upper body. Ash turned his head slightly and saw Shorter sitting next to him on the bed. Shorter pulled the pillow that Ash was lying on and prop it behind Ash’s back. Once Ash was secured Shorter sat back and surveyed him. Now that he was sitting up, he could see the room better. He had hoped that Eiji would be there, sleeping soundly in a cot next to him, but the room was empty except the two of them. Ash turned back to Shorter.
“Where Eiji?” he asked worriedly.
“He’s at the hospital.” Shorter said.
“Is he…Is Eiji alive?” Ash whispered fearing the answer. Shorter turned and looked at him.
“Yeah,” Shorter said giving a reassuring smile. “We seemed to of made it in time.” Ash felt all his anxiety drain. Eiji was safe. Eiji was going to make it. With that fear out of the way the energy that had spiked inside him faded and he slumped back into the pillow. As Ash moved, he noticed that he had an IV sticking out of his arm. He frowned down at it. How long was he asleep? It couldn’t have been only a couple of hours or else they wouldn’t need an IV.
“How long was I out?” Ash asked Shorter. Ash saw Shorter bite his lip and he tensed. That was not a good sigh.
“About a week.” Shorter said slowly. Ash went pale.
“A week?” Ask asked horrified. He didn’t expect to be out for that long. So many things could happen during that time. As if he read his mind Shorter said:
“Nothing really happened while you’re asleep. Most of your enemies were still dealing with the pandemic and not one else we know were bitten.” Ash let out a long breath and, after a moment pause, he asked:
What happened back there? You know when you came in to find me and Eiji.”
“You tell me.” Shorter said. “I just heard screaming and thumping and went to check on you two. When I came in Eiji was lying seemingly dead on the bed and you were almost passed out on the ground. Eiji was in a terrible state. He was bleeding and had bruises on his hands and neck. He looked like he was in lots of pain” Ash felt his heart ache at the news but something Shorter said didn’t make sense.
“Didn’t Eiji already tell you what happened?” Ash asked frowning. Eiji wasn’t one to keep secrets. He would have told Shorter everything that happened while Ash his vampire self. Shorter bit his lip again.
“Eiji…hasn’t woken up yet.” Shorter said nervously watching Ash’s reaction. “His body was in bad shape. The doctor says he doesn’t know when Eiji will wake.” Ash straightened up.
“You said Eiji was alright.” He said his voice rising accusingly.
“He should be alright!” Shorter said putting up his hands in defense. “The doctor says it just takes time to recover. He’ll wake up!” Ash gritted his teeth as a sudden urge to see Eiji overwhelmed him. He needed to know how Eiji was doing. He needed to see for himself his boyfriends state.
“I’m going to see him.” Ash said as he pushed off the blankets and struggled to get out of bed.
“Hey calm down. You just got up yourself,” Shorter said calmly pushing him back onto the pillow. “There’s no way you’ll be able to walk all the way to the hospital. It will probably take at least 24 hours before you’ll get all your strength back.”
“I can’t wait that long!” Ash snapped struggling against his friends’ arms.
“Just calm down Ash.” Shorter still adjusting his grip. Ash stopped struggling and stared up at his friend incredulously. Did Shorter really think he could stop him? From the pit of his stomach he felt anger rise. He was tired of everyone trying to prevent him from doing things. He was tired of people making choices for him. This was one situation he was not going to let slide. He was not going to sit there and wait.
“Do you actually expect me to wait a day before visiting Eiji?” He asked through gridded teeth.
“No,” Shorter said obnoxiously calm. “I expect you to wait about five minutes so I can call Alex to bring the wheelchair to take you to the hospital.” Ash stopped struggling looking surprised. Shorter raised his eyebrows at his friend.
“Seriously man, did you think I’d tell you to wait 24 hours?” Shorter snorted. “Ash I’ve known you years. There was no way in hell you’d stay here once you woke up.” Ash didn’t answer but he didn’t need to. Shorter could sense how grateful he was. Shorter released Ash and went to the door to call Alex. After a minute or so he returned to the room.
“Alex will be here in a couple of minutes.” He said sitting down on the bed next to Ash. Ash nodded but didn’t say anything. He could feel a sudden tenseness in the room. Glancing over at Shorter he noticed he was concentrating hard on looking at the floor, his hands fidgeting.
“Hey Ash.” He said quietly guilt laced into his voice. “I’m sorry for everything that happened.”
“It’s not your fault.” Ash said surprised. “I should’ve figured it out way before you got back to New York. If I did, I would be able to take matters into my own hands and you, Eiji, and my gang wouldn’t have been stuck between choosing one of us.” He could feel Shorter stiffen uncomfortably at these words. Ash rolled his eyes and weakly slapped him on the back. Shorter loosened a little and sighed.
“That being said.” Ash continued frowning. “I’m not happy that you chose me over Eiji.”
“I know you’re not.” Shorter said slumping back and staring attentively at the wall ahead . “I... I can’t explain why. Maybe because I knew you longer, I guess. But it wasn’t an easy choose…I” He shivered, and Ash felt a twang of sympathy. Shorter did the best he could during that situation. He found an antidote and now both Eiji and Ash were alive. That was all he could ask for.
“Forget about it.” Ash said quietly. “It’s more my fault then yours anyways.” Shorter opened his mouth to reply but at that moment Alex arrived with the wheelchair.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Eiji looked worst then Ash thought he would. Ash had thought, or at least hoped, that since Eiji was no longer getting attacked every night he would start looking more like himself. It had after all been a week. Ash was apparently wrong. To put it simply Eiji looked like a corpse. He looked almost exactly the same as he did when Ash had last seen him. The only difference was that his eyes were closed, and the bruises lining his throat were slightly faded. Looking at those bruises Ash suddenly vision of Eiji’s pleading eyes looking up from under Ash’s strong grip. Ash had an urge to break all the fingers of the hands the betrayed him, that made those marks on Eiji, but he resisted. Nether Shorter or Eiji would be happy with him if he did so and it would make fighting hard as hell. Still looking down at Eiji wasn’t helping Ash’s state of mind.
A nurse came in and wrote something of a clipboard before leaving. Ash felt a twinge of frustrated. What were these stupid doctors and nurses doing? It had been a whole week. Eiji shouldn’t still look like this. There should be more progress made on Eiji’s recover. Why did he still look so corpse like? As if to read his mind Shorter answered:
“Vampire venom makes the body heal slower. That’s why he still looks like shit. Usually the hospital would give him something to dilute the venom slightly, but they are running low on resources. The vampire pandemic is finally winding down, but they don’t have much medical supplies left. They used a lot of it up and the city is still closed so no more supplies can arrive.” Ash gave a low growl of frustration. He wanted to do something, anything to help Eiji but he was still to weak to move. Another nurse came in to check Eiji’s vitals. After she finished, he turned to Ash, paperwork in her hands. Shorter intervened and stepped out with the nurse to fill out the paperwork leaving Ash alone with his unconscienced boyfriend. Ash sat there for a few minutes looking down at Eiji’s soft features. Ash wished Eiji would open his eyes. Ash had seen so many corpses in his life and he hated how easily his mind put the Japanese in that category.
“Eiji.” Ash murmured softly. He pried himself from the wheelchair and fell to his knees in front of his sleeping boyfriend. Ash gently lay his head on the sheets next to Eiji and clasped Eiji’s cold still hands.
“I’m sorry.” He mumbled into the blanket. He repeated it over and over as if he hoped his words could heal Eiji. Ash he apologizes he found himself crying, tears streamed from his eyes. He didn’t try to conceal them. He was tired of feeling weak and helpless. He was tired of his gentle boyfriend being the victim of his inabilities and limitations. He was just so tired of everything in this god forsaken world.
“Ash.”
The voice was so quite that Ash wasn’t sure if he heard it out loud or in his head. He stopped crying and listened, but the world was silent. Did he imagine hearing Eiji’s voice? Slowly he picked up his face and looked towards Eiji. Eiji eyes were wide open staring worriedly into Ash’s.
“Ash.” He repeated, louder this time. “What’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He looked frightened, as if he wasn’t sure that the nightmare had ended yet. “You are Ash, right?” Ash felt sick, Eiji’s fear was real and he had suffered greatly. Ash had cried when he had strangled him. Was that what Eiji was thinking? Did Eiji think Ash would try to kill him again?
“I’m Ash.” Ash whispered hoarse from all the crying. “My vampire self his gone. I got rid of him. You’re safe.” Eiji blinked up at the blond a few times as he processed the information. After a moment his eyes got wide and started to water.
“Thank God.” He cried. “It’s over. You’re save. You’re alive and healthy and I…” A smiled crossed his face. “I get to keep on living with you.” Ash hated the excitement in his voice. It was like the idea of living with the person who had caused him so much pain and suffering was a wonderous godsent miracle instead of a tragic horror-story ending. The way Eiji was looking at him now it was like he didn’t just live though all that trauma. Like Ash hadn’t been the one casing him misery.
“I don’t understand you.” Ash finally choked out feeling his eyes starting to water again. “I was already a monster when you met me and now, I’ve managed to add on a whole list of horrible things I’ve done to my previously long list. And yet here you are crying for joy at the aspect of spending most time with your attacker.” Ash gave a bitter laugh. “And here am I still hanging around you even though I know I cause you pain.”
“Ash.” Eiji said sounding afraid. “Don’t say that. It wasn’t your fault.” He turned his hand, that was still grasped in Ash’s, around so they could hold hands properly.
“And that brings me to another thing.” Ash said agitatedly. Now that the horrors were all over, a growing angry was consuming him. “What possessed you to think that my life is worth more than yours? I’m a monster Eiji! I don’t deserve a good life! You have a clean future!”
“No I don’t!” Eiji said. “I failed at the one thing I was good at! I managed to hurt myself while pole vaulting and now I can’t do it anymore. I’m just a washed up has been. You on the other hand haven’t even started your life yet!” Ash stared at him mouth opened wide.
“You really think that about yourself?” He gasped. “Did I make you feel that way? Eiji did I do something to make you feel like you weren’t worth anything?”
“No!” Eiji said yelling. “You always made me feel like I was everything! That’s why I could give everything to you! My everything is you.” Ash ran his hand though his hair, swearing under his breath. Eiji watched him breath heavily, annoyance glistening in his dark brown eyes. After a minute or so he took a deep calming breath.
“Ash,” he said with forced calmness. “I know it was hard. I know you suffered but it’s over now.” His voice got a pleading tone. “Pease don’t do anything drastic like running away or killing yourself. Stay with me and let’s continue living our lives together.” Ash shot his boyfriend a glared not ready to back down from his anger.
“Even though I’m a monster?” Ash snapped. “Even though you could do so much better? You deserve so much better?”
“Who said I deserve better?” Eiji asked confused. “Ash stop sprouting nonsense.”
“You just almost died for someone like me and I’m the one sprouting nonsense?!” Ash said his voice rising angrily. “You’re crazy.” He sighed and his eyes narrowed. “You know what, maybe I should chain you down to me.” He smirked. “Then you can really see how horrible I am. That way you can finally understand the truth.” Ash wasn’t sure what he was saying but he wanted Eiji to be afraid of him, to hate him for what he had done. Ash closed his eyes for a second and opened them again expecting to see some misgivings in Eiji’s brown eyes, instead he found Eiji looking astonished
“Ash are you…are you proposing to me?” he asked in a small whisper. Ash stared at him disgruntledly.
“Yes I am.” He said finally snorted sarcastically. “Let’s get married and you can be trapped by my side forever. All my enemies will know that I have a husband and will target you but who cares right?! As long as I’m happy with my husband at my side, who cares what happens.” He meant it to sting. He meant it as a means to show Eiji what would happen if they got married. Eiji he clasped his hands to his mouth tears streaming from his eyes. Ash smiled unhappily at his hollow victory. He had finally done it. He had finally made Eiji fear him, see how awful it would be to live here with him. Now that he had accomplished his goal, he felt drained and empty. Eiji would leave him and he would lose the one light in his life forever.
“It’s what you deserve.” He thought sadly. Ash wanted to leave. He wanted to run out of that room and keep on running until he left everything behind.
“Yes.”
The word snapped Ash back to reality.
“What?” he asked confused.
“Yes.” Eiji repeated his eyes gleaming with excitement. “I will marry you.” Ash stared at him for a second as the reality of what he did crashed upon him.
“Wait.” He said quickly “I didn’t-” The door banged open loudly cutting him off. Shorter peaked his head in.
“What’s going on?” He asked worriedly. “I heard crying and screaming. Is everything alright?” He scanned the room and his eyes fell on Eiji. His eyes lit up and he smiled.
“You’re finally awake!” He yelped, then he noticed the tears streaming down Eiji’s face and his smile faded. “What happened.”
“Ash just asked me to marry him.” Eiji gasped though his tears. Shorter froze a second then gave a loud whoop. He darted forward into the room and threw his arm over Ash’s shoulder.
“You got me worried there for a minute man!” he exclaimed gripping Ash in a choke hold. “You waited until I leave and then you propose, you sneaky dog!”
“Wait” Ash said chocked out in alarmed. “I didn’t mean it like that.”
“You don’t want to marry me?” Eiji asked freezing in shocked.
“No!” Ash exclaimed quickly. “I want to marry you.”
“Then there’s no problem!” Shorter shouted letting go of Ash and thumping him on his back. “This is going to be awesome. I’m telling the others.” With that Shorter jumped up and zoomed from the room leaving Ash and Eiji by themselves. They could hear him loudly talking as he walked down the hall. In the sudden silence Ash started to get his baring around him. He turned to Eiji and looked him in the eyes, wanting the latter to understand his feelings.
“I don’t deserve you.” Ash said into the silence. Eiji scanned his face thoughtfully.
“Then…think of marriage as your punishment.” He finally said. “For putting me thought all that, you now have to marry me and be stuck with a plain looking Japanese who loves Natto. You’ll never get the chance to date a pretty girl or a cute guy ever again.”
“That sounds like heaven.” Ash sighed. Eiji thoughtful expression turned into a genuine smile and he looked down shyly.
“So, does what you say.” He whispered.
“That-”
“different I know.” Eiji said sighing. “Because you attacked me. Because you promised to protect me but couldn’t. Ash I don’t care. I chose to protect you because I love you and now, I am getting the chance to spend the rest of my life with you.” Ash looked down at Eiji and wondered if he had even work up at all or if he was still dreaming. Was he still lying in bed after fighting his alternate self? Did any of it actually happen? The fact that Eiji was here and still loving him was more then he could ask for, more then what he deserved.
“If you’re still unsure about marriage being your punishment,” Eiji said slowly, an evil grin crossing his face, “How about I add on to it? We’ll have Natto Tuesdays every week from now on. What do you think about that?” Eiji batted his eyes innocently, completely contradicting his evil grin. Ash belched and pulled a face.
“That sounds horrible.” Ash groaned sticking out his tongue.
“Great Natto Tuesdays it is!” Eiji proclaimed loudly his smiling growing. “I’ll make you regret marrying me.”
“Nothing,” Ash whispered leaning in and kissing Eiji’s forehead. “would make me regret marrying you.” Eiji’s grin softened and he looked up into Ash’s eyes lovingly.
“And nothing you can do can make me regret me marrying you.” Eiji said softly. “I know you don’t feel that way now but…give it some time. We have a whole life a head of us. Someday…someday I’ll make you yourself as I see you.” Eiji turned sideways and leaned into Ash’s chest.
“I guess we’ll have to see.” Ash said putting his hands gently around Eiji’s head. They sat there for a while just enjoying each other. Ash closed his eyes and concentrated on Eiji’s slow painless breaths. He counted them, counted each little puff of air that proved Eiji was still alive. That the horror was over. After a while Eiji pulled away and looked up at Ash his eyes serious.
“Though Ash.” Eiji said solemnly. “I wasn’t joking about Natto Tuesdays.” Ash blinked in shock. Eiji tried to keep a straight face but failing to hide his amusement.
“Are you serious?” Ash asked.
“Yes!” Eiji said. “I think if you eat it enough, you’d slowly start to like it!”
“Or my taste buds would die,” Ash grumbled. “No matter what you do I won’t join your creepy Natto loving cult.” Eiji laughed loudly and Ash thought it was the most wonderful sound in the world. It ranged though is ears pure and unmarked by pain. Did Eiji always laugh like this or did Ash forget in the long weeks when Eiji’s laugh had become strained.
“When I get out of the hospital, we need to start planning.” Eiji said excitedly.
“Planning?” Ash said worriedly, his mind still on Natto Tuesday.
“For the wedding!” Eiji exclaimed. Ash’s face softened and he smiled at his boyfriend, no his fiancée. Ash knew that it would be a while before he could truly look at Eiji without guilt. It would probably be ever longer before he would get the image of Eiji lying helplessly in front of him out of his mind. Ash thought, that perhaps with Eiji’s constant love and care, that maybe one day he might start to heal a little. He still doubted he would ever fully forgive himself. He could never forgive anyone who’d hurt Eiji even if it was him.
But for now, that didn’t matter. What mattered was the here and now. Eiji was recovering and Ash was with him again, and they had their future ahead of them. That was good enough for now.