Chapter Text
Mark was stressed. Again.
He'd been working tirelessly over the past few days collecting sources and quotes for his paper, and even though it wasn't due for another 2 weeks, the fact that it was going to count for 40 percent of his grade kept the pressure on. He felt strung out and his eyes were grainy, still not recovered from the last round of tests that he had passed only through the power of coffee and all nighters.
He stared blankly at the paper on his screen, only page four out of twenty, and could only take of his glasses before dropping his head into his hands. He felt the telltale pressure from the back of his eyes and wondered if he had the time for the meltdown he could feel sneaking up on him.
Suddenly, a sharp rap came from the door of his room, followed closely by Yukhei's cheery voice.
"Mark!" he shouted, surely loud enough for the whole hall to hear "It's time for our study date!"
Mark had completely forgotten that he invited Yukhei over, as it had probably been in the time between his test and him crashing into bed for twelve consecutive hours. Mark let out a small laugh, but it was strained, and he tried to take a couple of deep breaths before he got up to answer the door.
Yukhei was grinning widely down at Mark when he opened the door, but soon his eyebrows were furrowed with worry at Mark's red-rimmed eyes and disheveled hair.
"Are you okay?" Yukhei asked him, as quiet as he'd ever been, and for some reason that was the final straw, as Mark felt his eyes well up with tears and spill over.
Mark tried to hide his face and slow his breathing, but the sobs were coming harder, and the gentle sound of Yukhei's deep voice trying to soothe him both did and didn't help.
Yukhei dropped his laptop bag on the floor and shut the door before turning off the light and maneuvering Mark towards the bed
"I have to finish my paper" Mark tried to communicate, trying and failing again to get his breathing under control as he stuttered his way through the sentence.
"I know it's fine" Yukhei crooned, and it was the softest Mark had ever heard him speak.
Before Mark knew it he was under his comforter, face tucked into Yukhei's chest where it was blissfully dark and warm. It was so nice that Mark was only a little bit concerned about how he was definitely getting tears on Yukhei's shirt.
Yukhei's hands were big and warm as they rubbed soothing circles on Mark's back, no longer saying anything, while he gave Mark some time to calm down. After a few minutes his sobs died down to the occasional sniffle, even if Mark did still feel like he was shaky.
Before Mark could start to feel awkward, Yukhei spoke up, perfectly timed.
"Where's your roommate?" he asked, voice hushed like he was scared to set Mark off again.
"He usually sleeps at his boyfriend's apartment" Mark managed, voice rough.
"Okay that's good." Yukhei hummed, hands never stopping their movement. One had even found it's way into Mark's hair, massaging at the base of his neck and making Mark realize just how tense he had been.
"So...no work tonight, okay?" Yukhei offers, leaning back so that he can look Mark in the eye, "I'll just order a pizza and we can watch anime, your pick."
And Mark felt the pull of wanting deep in his gut, imagining what always being able to curl up with Yukhei, and to be taken care of like this. He wants so badly he thinks he might start crying again.
Mark knew he should confess to Yukhei. He knew that he would have to eventually, because if he didn't, his feelings would surely overwhelm him.
He knew it with absolute certainty that he was completely head over heels, and the thought was constantly at the back of his mind, even after the pizza came, and even while they sat shoulder to shoulder on his bed and watched Tokyo Ghoul. But Mark wanted just one last night with Yukhei close enough that his warmth was bleeding through Mark’s sweatshirt, because once his feelings were out in the open, he doubted he would get any more nights like this.
Yukhei would surely be his usual loud, supportive self, but the idea that he would reciprocate Mark's feelings was almost laughable.
So Mark let himself have one last night, and tried not to feel too guilty when Yukhei cuddled up close to him again before they both fell asleep.
Mark slipped into unconsciousness with his hand gripping the front of Yukhei's shirt, and he didn't dream.
The next week came and went and Mark wouldn't say he was avoiding Yukhei, just preparing himself. On the upside he'd blasted through the rest of his paper in record time. On the downside Yukhei was everywhere, and making up excuses of places to be had quickly devolved into putting his head down and power walking around campus, trying his best to prevent any run-in's.
It was Saturday which meant Yukhei was surely at a party (he always invited Mark, but Mark preferred to hear the stories on Monday) and so Mark counted his not-actually-avoiding-Yukhei mission successful for another day.
At least until he rounded the corner to his dorm and found Yukhei standing there, looking very deep in thought and clearly waiting for Mark. Honestly if Yukhei hadn't looked up at that very moment, Mark would have ran back down the stairs and found a cafe to post up in for the next few hours, but as soon as they made eye contact Mark knew there was no choice, and his baseline anxiety skyrocketed, his heartbeat loud in his ears.
"Hey man," Mark tried casually, as he attempted to unlock his door with trembling hands "What are you doing here?"
Yukhei stayed quiet until Mark let them both in, and he closed the door behind them.
Mark felt sick.
Yukhei strolled over to the bed and sat down, still quiet, as Mark fidgeted in the middle of the room, still contemplating an escape attempt. He almost startled when Yukhei finally spoke up.
"Did I do something wrong?" was all he said, looking up at Mark with confusion coloring his clear brown eyes, and Mark realized what a jerk he'd been. Upsetting Yukhei had been the very thing that he had wanted to avoid, and yet here he was, no longer seeing the logic in avoiding someone who, while he was in love with him, was first and foremost one of Mark’s best friends.
"Yukhei I'm so sorry" Mark started in a rush, and once he'd started talking he felt like he couldn't stop.
"I just, well I wasn't trying to avoid you exactly I just needed some time because I had to tell you that I'm" and Mark could feel the tears coming so he tried to speed up and power through "that I'm in love with you, and I know you wouldn't hate me but I was so worried that you would be uncomfortable and I just didn't want to lose this and so I couldn't tell you but I should have and it was selfish and-"
Mark's rant was interrupted by Yukhei removing his glasses and gently wiping the tears that had started falling at some point.
The tears blurred Mark's vision as he looked up at Yukhei, and he blinked them away as he said "I'm sorry" one last time, feeling better but slightly empty at the emotional outpouring.
Yukhei's smile was like the sun breaking through the clouds as he thumbs away the last few tears from Mark's cheeks.
"I love you too" Yukhei says, standing close enough that Mark could feel the low vibrations of his voice in his chest.
Mark stood dumbstruck, feeling like , mouth slightly agape, causing Yukhei to chuckle.
"I think maybe we can cuddle up and have a nice long conversation about this,” Yukhei started before biting his lip slightly "but could I maybe kiss you first?"
As if Mark could ever say no. As if he would ever want to say no.
Mark nodded slightly, and Yukhei cupped his face, leaning in slowly. When their lips finally met, Mark felt warm and breathless and swept away in all the right ways. He reached up with both hands to clutch at Yukhei's sleeves, and Yukhei just deepened the kiss, one arm wrapping securely around Mark's waist, while his other hand came around to cradle the back of Mark's head.
Mark felt safe and surrounded, the clean scent of Yukhei's laundry detergent drifting up around him.
To say kissing Yukhei felt like coming home felt basic and cliched, but Mark could think of nothing else as he stood there in the circle of his arms