Chapter Text
They don't talk about the almost kiss. Dave doesn't even try to bring it up. Doesn't even think about trying to get John to admit anything. If there is anything. He hopes there is something. Friends don't do that do they? They don't just almost kiss their best friends right? That has to mean something. John wouldn't- No no. Stop. Just. Don't think too much about it. Maybe John just needs some time to adjust. Some time to accept it. To mull over the idea, the fact hopefully, that he isn't 100% straight. Not everyone is as flexible as Dave, after all. He just needs time. And Dave can- will- give him that. Because if there is one person Dave will wait on, it's John.
Those are all just cloudy, swirling, circling thoughts, though; ones the youngest Strider can't seem to rid himself of. They keep flowing around in his head, demanding attention. But he's a busy guy and he can't spend all his time thinking about what ifs. Nope. There are people to see and shit to do. Specifically, pack a bag for the trip to Six Flags, which is in oh- about two hours. Fuck. Yeah. He sort of forgot to pack.
Okay so he didn't forget to pack. There were a lot of funny videos to watch on YouTube that wouldn't let him sleep or move all night.
He's not complaining though, the ride is long enough he can catch a nap on the way. God he hopes they don't fuck with him while he sleeps. He would not hold that above his family or John. Actually, now that he's thinking on it, Dave's pretty sure he's just going to power sleep tonight at the hotel. At least then it will be him and John only and he'll be sure the brunette falls asleep first.
Packing takes Dave about a full hour by the time he gets around to it. He ends up showering and eating a huge breakfast before he even drags out the ancient dufflebag from his closet to stuff. By then he's much more awake and ready to move around. Bro and Dirk are already riding his ass about being late- it's barely seven how the hell are they awake. So Dave makes quick work of throwing a few changes of clothes and some other essentials. And he barely has the thing zipped closed before Bro is yanking the thing off his bed and stomping out of his room with a grin.
"Come on and let's go pick up your boyfriend; we got some driving to do," he calls (and Dave ignores his choice of words in order to keep his good mood) as he enters the living room and throws the bag at Dirk. It's apparently his job to carry everyones shit for some reason. He's not too happy about that. But then again Bro likes to pull the 'I'm older so I'm in charge' card a lot. Dave grabs the tiny cooler with tons of cokes and lunchables (Bro insisted) and they are all walking out the door and to the family car in no time.
John's already waiting by the road, backpack hanging off one shoulder, when they pull onto his street. They pop the trunk and he throws his stuff back there before climbing- throwing himself more like- into the backseat beside Dave. He has a wide smile and his eyes are sparkling and Dave can't not return that kind of joyous expression.
He wonders if John ever thinks of him and smiles.
"You eaten yet?" Dirk asks, turning in the passenger seat to glance at the boy. John nods and buckles up as the car lurches forward. Dave feels tingly. Giddy maybe. No, he's not giddy- that's not cool enough. But the thought of the word makes him smile again. He's just excited. This is the last big adventure before school. The last big bang before boring months of learning and lonely days of no John. He's not looking forward to that. They've hung out practically every day since they became 'friends' and Dave isn't even sure when they became that much.
John was just this pissed boy in a doctors office when he first saw him. Just some kid storming out and stomping down the sidewalk. And yet, even then he can't bring himself to say they were ever strangers. Not really. Not when..
Stroking his thumb over the faint scar on his wrist, he can't help but let a bubbling anxiety fill his mind. John is his Soul Mate, right? The Timers.. They were right, he's sure. He's sure. But John- he still doesn't think that does he?
Dave swallows those thoughts down and relaxes into the backseat. He could use a nap.
Texas is hot.
Texas is very very hot. Especially when walking half a mile from the hotel to the entrance of Six Flags because someones fucking brother is a cheapskate and doesn't want to pay for parking. But hey, at least the hotel is nice. At least he's here with the few people he actually likes. It could be worse he supposes.
So Dave can deal with a little heat. It's well worth it in his opinion.
Besides, once he gets on the rides and is rocketing at like 80 mph he's not going to be wishing it was colder. Last time they came he was shivering after ever ride, but mostly from adrenaline. He's not as strong willed as his brothers. They've rode the Superman ten times in a row before just because there was no fucking line. Hell no.
The lines are just starting to build when the group approaches the ticket booths. The park has been open about an hour and with it being a nice day and end of summer, it's packed.
"Holy crap there are a lot of people here," John comments as if on queue, eyes wide and scanning the crowd. Dirk smirks at that and loops an arm over his shoulder.
"You should come on a weekday; me and Bro managed it once. There was no one here. So worth it," he recalled.
"I've never been to a park this big. Just a few county fairs and a water park," John replies, pulling the money from his pocket to buy his ticket.
"Shit, man, just follow us then. We're kind of Experienced Park Goers. Don't even need a map for this place anymore," Dirk brags, straightening himself and pulling out his pre-bought Season Pass Ticket. Bro has one too. Dave and John just have to buy their tickets and the group can go. If the damn line would move.
"Yeah right you two are going to ditch us as soon as we get inside and you know it." Dave narrows his eyes at his brothers. They just roll their eyes and turn to start planning on which to ride first.
John takes the opportunity to lean over and grab his friends attention.
"You know your way around, right? I really don't want to get lost here," he glances around at the people again to emphasize his point. Dave takes a moment to follow his gaze. A family of red heads walks by, about four kids in tow, all screaming and dirty looking. A group of college girls in shorts and tank tops is by the Gates talking and laughing loudly. A few suspicious looking older gentlemen standing around. The usual Texas crowd.
"I know enough. You ain't scare are you?" he lets a smile tease his lips. John scoffs in return and turns on his heel to take a step forward in line. Finally it's moving. They're still only about half way through.
"We should go on the Texas Giant first. It can be your initiation ride," Dave suggests, knowing the shaky carts will make John scream when they go down the hills and on the curves.
"What's the big one called? That blue one there?" he asks instead of answering, pointing at the blue and orange rails that hang high in the sky, little carts shooting across it, the sound of screaming getting stuck in the air.
"The Titan. It's one of the bigger rides. We can do that second."
The next few minutes pass with John pointing out anything that can be seen from the Entry Gate and Dave naming it. They don't even notice when Bro and Dirk slip off to the Seasons Pass line- which is always way shorter and way faster.
The line seems to move quickly while they are talking. So Dave is sure to keep a conversation going, even if it means hearing John babble on about some stupid movie he saw on Netflix, not that he minds.
They do eventually make it to the front. And they get their tickets and then get to stand in the Admissions Line. Fucking security. That line, thankfully, moves a lot faster and not ten minutes later they are strolling through Mexico.
"Holy shit it smells like Heaven," John grabs at his friends arm, groaning dramatically to make his point. Dave can't help but smile.
"Tell me about it, dude. Don't eat before you ride, though, bad idea. Plus this shit is expensive. Seriously, watch your money, John, watch it," he warns, leading them through small crowds of people. John just laughs in reply, nodding like he took the words to heart. He ends up buying a $15 popcorn not an hour later.
*
He was going to say something, he'd been working up to it for at least a week. Since that damn near kiss in John's kitchen floor. No probably actually before that. John's not sure. He can't really say when he stopped being afraid really. Afraid- is that the right word? Probably not.
He can't think of anything else to describe it as, though. Because he was afraid. In a weird way. But it was less of that, and more of unsure. Denial maybe. Self hatred? Probably.
Because he can remember a time, not too long about as much as he doesn't like to admit, that the thought of being with another boy in any way made John's stomach turn. It just wasn't him. Wasn't right. He liked girls. He still does. But, he likes someone else now. Someone who's not a girl. And he's going to tell him dammit!
Eventually.
He's still nervous, though. What if Dave wants to start dating right away? What if he wants to kiss or do..other things. John's not ready for that. He's not ready to do those things with a girl, much less a boy. Still, he cares for the blond. He likes him. Maybe more than that.
John's had crushes, yeah, and they were these jittery, nervous, trip-over-his-own-feet messes. But with Dave, because of Dave, it's not like that. What he's feeling. It's not that.
It's something so much more pure. Something so much more raw. Something he's sure- he's so sure now- that he will never feel for anyone else. But even with all of that in mind- he knows he's not ready for anything. Not ready for anything but talking.
But he at least owes Dave that much. Because he was a total asshole. He fucked up big time. He was blind, there at the beginning. There when Dave was so obviously trying to win him over- and he was playing along and fuck he regrets that. Not because he wishes he hadn't done it, but because he wasn't actually thinking about it then. Just going along with it. Ignoring his feelings and his thoughts and Dave's. And all that got him was a pissed of and hurt best friend and ton of guilt. He really should not have led his friend on like that- only to spit on his hopes.
John really should do some more self-reflecting. And he hates to admit it took nearly loosing Dave to realize how important he is. How much he does care. To finally, finally, see and admit what he was and is feeling is not platonic and is not straight.
But that still is weird and kind of uncomfortable to think about. Because he wants to be normal. No, no. Wait that was wrong. Normal is the wrong word. He wants to be.. accepted. By everyone. By society. And while Soul Mates- Soul Mates, holy shit they are Soul Mates!- are accepted, homosexual teenagers are generally not.
So yeah, it took a long time, a lot of unintentionally hurting his best friend, for John to realize and to accept and to admit that okay- yes- they are Soul Mates, and- yes- they are in love, and that -yes- he is not straight. It's taken even longer for him to even begin to build up the nerve to broach the subject to Dave, though. Because while he is sure the boy would happily accept and return John's feelings, he knows that he did hurt him- probably a lot. And he knows that Dave is trying to get over him, and he knows that he fucked up with Dave. There is no way he's ever going to try to make a move on John again. Not after how completely it was shot down the last time (well time before the little incident in his kitchen floor because that doesn't count). So John knows that he is going to have to be the one to make a move.
Which is daunting in itself. How should he do it? Write it down? Text? Phone call? Should he sit Dave down and have a serious talk with him? Or maybe just make a move and kiss him or something- even though he isn't sure he could enjoy that completely yet. Fuck, initiating a relationship is hard work.
It's not until Dave invites him to Six Flags, well actually a few days of deliberation after that, that John finally decided how he is going to ask Dave out.
He'll drop a few hints through out the day, and then right before they leave he'll just come out and say it. A real life anime confession. Maybe he'll say that too. Dave would think that's funny.
John spends Thursday night tossing and turning, anxious smile on his face. He can't wait to see Dave's reaction.
And he knows it's going to turn out okay. Even if he does have to have a talk with Dave about boundaries while he is.. adjusting to his revelation. But that's okay. It is. Because he knows Dave won't push it. He knows.
He hopes.
Friday morning is nice. The ride is fun- Dirk likes to sing to the radio and Bro likes to speed but it's nice and he likes it. Then he starts thinking about how they could some day maybe be his in-laws and then he's awkwardly biting his lip to keep in his laughter because that thought is equal parts uncomfortable and equal parts hilarious.
Then they are at the hotel and Dave is complaining about the heat and how long the walk is going to be to the park and it's just..so..mundane and so..perfect. And John can't help but look at his friend- his Soul Mate- and smiling because he is so fucking lucky.
Dave is so amazing.
And he's also right about a lot of things; like the walk to the park being hell, or John screaming on almost every ride they go on.
But John is enjoying himself. He likes the wind in his hair. He likes the way his legs shake when he's getting out of the carts. He likes he excuse to grab Dave's hand and he likes hearing his best friends loud laughter when they are at the top of the first hill. He likes how Dave tries to wear his sunglasses even when the all the attendees yell at him. He likes how Dave then refuses to open his eyes until they are back on. He likes everything about Dave. Every moment. Every muttered comment about the family two yards in front of them and every choked laughter when they are sailing around the curves of the roller-coasters. And yeah John's got it bad. But he hopes he's not the only one.
And if the way he catches Dave looking at him while they are eating lunch, all soft eyes and small smile, means anything he knows he isn't the only one.
He hopes at least, really, really hopes that Dave hasn't given up on him.
When the air starts to chill and the sun is threatening to go down, and most everyone has left the park, Dave decides they should ride the big ones again before walking back. John agrees and then they are holding hands and jogging through all the little countries to start over again at the beginning. And there are no lines this time. So they don't even have to stop, don't even have to let go of each other hands.
They just go on the same one over and over until they are both shaking and grinning and Dave isn't even trying to hide his eyes anymore. And John can't look away. Because this is amazing. This. Running through Six Flags hand in hand, riding all the gut wrenching coasters a dozen times in a row while everyone else is leaving. And he knows he's never going to forget this.
They do have to leave though, as much as they don't want to.
John doesn't pull his hand away, though, and Dave doesn't comment; so they just walk slowly back to the exit.
Dave takes a moment before they leave to let his brothers know they are heading back. He doesn't get a reply. So they just start walking.
The streets are desolate. It's gotten dark very fast, and the air has chilled considerably. So when Dave drops John's hand to wrap an arm around the shorter boys shoulders, well no one is complaining.
They are almost back to the hotel before John gets his nerves up. He should just do it. It's been a good day. A wonderful day. He'll never forget it and he hopes Dave won't either.
Now or never, Egbert. Just do it.
"Dave," his voice is quiet- the air is soft around them, like the world has decided to bend around them again, grant them this one small moment- and he pulls Dave gently to a stop at the edge of the sidewalk. There is just a street between them and the hotel. It really is now or never. There is no way he is saying this crap in their room.
This feels right anyways, how they are doing it right now.
"I have to say something, so just..listen, okay?" John is glad it's dark, glad the street lamp above them doesn't work. He takes a second to gather his thoughts. Dave is silent; he rests his hands on John's arms for a moment to reassure his friend that he is there and that he is listening.
"So..I know I said..I'm not gay..But that's not- you're..just.." he takes a shaky breath in through his mouth and blows it out his nose before starting again. "I think I am ready..to do this..thing..uh, this all sounded a lot better in my head, I swear okay?" And he chances a glance up at Dave.
He's smiling so broadly, so genuine, and his sunglasses are hanging from his shirt collar and the faint light is reflecting off his eyes and oh God-
He looks so happy.
So relieved. And John doesn't even have to try finishing what he was saying because he knows that Dave understands. He gets it.
"This is my anime confession, Dave," John whispers, smiling back. And he loves the way Dave immediately breaks into laughter. It makes his heart studder and his stomach jump.
He laughs with his friend. It feels so natural.
And then he's being pulled into a hug and its so warm and feels so fucking right and so different than any of the ones before. He hugs back.
They don't pull away for an ashamedly long time. And neither of then say a word but it's perfect. The perfect moment.
When they do pull away John takes a small step backwards, looking at his companion with a decided gleam in his eye.
He grabs at Dave's shirt and pulls him down into a chaste kiss. A peck on the lips, really, fast and warm and perfect and then John is turning with a wide smile and jogging across the street. He's giddy and excited and just felt this urge to kiss him. This urge to tease.
He wonders what kind of face Dave is making. Probably shocked and happy. He really wants to turn and look.
"John!" his name is shouted, tone laced with panic and not shock. It makes him falter. He turns to see what made Dave yell.
He doesn't see Dave, though.
Just light. Blinding light right beside him, too close. It seems to grow and devour him and then it's all black.
And then it's nothing.
The edges of his mind that to dissolve.
His last thought before the pitch dark clouds the edges and seeps into his mind is whether Dave's Timer would have blanked if he still had it.