Chapter Text
Dean wakes up coughing his lungs out, or at least it feels like it. He hastily sits up, feeling a bit dizzy and sees that he is in the motel room they checked in weeks ago to find the djinn. Dean shakes his head, no it was Morpheus and maybe just a few days.
“Welcome back.”
Dean’s eyes widen when he sees Gabriel sitting next to him and he already believes this is just another nightmare as the door burst open and Sam comes in with Rowena. Sam is at his side in seconds and he hugs Dean almost too hard.
“Thank god, you woke up. We were so worried that Morpheus would kill you. You still look pretty bad.” Sam says, but Dean ignores him and looks to the other bed, where Castiel is sleeping. Without his wonderful wings.
“Can you wake him up?” Dean asks Gabriel and the archangel shrugs. He looks worried himself and then presses his fingers against his brother’s forehead again. This time Castiel slowly opens his eyes.
“Am I dead?” Castiel whispers and Gabriel, Rowena and Sam start to laugh. Castiel smiles a bit himself, but Dean can see that it’s not a real one. Maybe he had seen that Dean wanted to kiss him and was now unsure how to let him down easily. Dean swallows.
“And we saved the day! Drinks for everyone.” Rowena says loudly and claps her hands. Sam follows her to the little fridge, while Dean still looks at Castiel. Finally Castiel seems to register that and looks back.
“Dean. How are you?” Castiel asks and he tilts his head. Dean almost gets up and kisses him, but he doesn’t dare to. Maybe Castiel saw a different dream and was just confused when Dean had wanted that kiss.
“I had such a nightmare that I will never sleep again.” Dean says and everybody is laughing again. Everyone, but Castiel, Dean doesn’t see that, because he is looking at his brother and Rowena.
“Yeah, what did you dream?” Gabriel asks and he frowns at Dean, as if he knows something that Dean doesn’t. Dean glares back at the trickster, not sure if he is glad that he is back or mostly annoyed.
“Well first it was so beautiful but somehow it turned into a real horror show.” Dean says and with that he snatches the beer out of Sam’s hands and gulps it down as fast as he can. Yeah maybe he should get really drunk tonight. Sam seems to think different and takes the beer away again.
“I’m sorry, Dean but it wasn’t real.” Castiel says and Dean nods. The ‘and it will never be’ is unspoken but Dean knows that already anyway. He gets himself another beer and ignores Castiel for the rest of the night.
They checked the whole town right after Dean and Castiel woke up and Dean was relieved that everyone woke up again. Only the nurse went missing, but Dean knows now, that she was Morpheus.
It’s after midnight and Dean sits outside on Baby’s roof, watching the stars, before he chugs down another beer. He feels cold and empty without Castiel’s touches. It was always fine when he had never known how good this could feel, but now… it’s unbearable. He is desperate.
“I should’ve known from the start, that it was too good to be true. I don’t deserve happiness like this.” Dean whispers and he lets the empty bottle fall to the ground, before he leans back and looks at the sky again.
He really wishes his dream would come true some time, just without the bad ending. Dean closes his eyes slowly and sighs.
He doesn’t notice that Castiel is watching him.
