Chapter Text
Be cool, Satsuki, don’t be a weird, perfectionist loner like you usually are. Be strong. You can do this. Just move your arm just a little bit, just enough to move her a little away from you. There we go-OH GOD SHE’S LEANING EVEN MORE ON ME NOW JESUS CHRIST WHY DOESN’T SHE EVER WEAR A SHIRT? Well now I definitely can’t get up without changing my underwear. I’m trapped here forever.
Ryuko had broken into Satsuki’s apartment earlier that night. Again. For the fourth time this week in as many days. Every day she climbs in through Satsuki’s window like the most uncoordinated ninja carrying an impossible amount of beer and some form of take out food, forcing Satsuki to eat some of it. She notices that Ryuko usually only eats a small portion before she moves onto beer for the rest of the night, but Satsuki decides not to say anything about it just yet.
In addition to the (only slightly) unwelcome routine being forced onto Satsuki, Ryuko also fails to remain fully clothed during these visits. Usually its the shirt that is sacrificed, but yesterday the shorts came off after Ryuko spilled beer on herself like the clumsy idiot she is. Needless to say, Satsuki barely got any work done that night because she was distracted by Ryuko’s thighs so close to her own.
Tonight, Ryuko is laying against her like usual. And like usual, Satsuki is equal parts uncomfortable with the physical contact and unbelievably turned on. There’s a small voice in the back of Satsuki’s head reminding her that Ryuko is a porn star and getting involved with porn stars has never ended well in the past, so why should it now? Satsuki is currently ignoring that voice because Ryuko is pressed warmly against her side wearing only a bandeau and basketball shorts that seem to be too big for her, prattling on about something or other.
“Then I said to him,” Ryuko all but yells, “you mess with my bros, you mess with me! And then he laughed in my face! My face! Can you fucking believe that, Sats? Laughing. At me.”
There is a small pause in Ryuko’s rant and Satsuki thinks she heard her name a second ago, so she assumes Ryuko is waiting for a response.
“Unbelievable, Ryuko,” she mumbles. She hopes it sounds like she was listening and not silently thanking the fact that she finally turned on her AC unit the same night that Ryuko decided to wear the thinnest kind of fabric over her chest.
“So I do what anyone else would have done. I fucking slugged him right in his ugly ass face.” Ryuko punctuates her sentence with a swinging fist, presumably to demonstrate her past actions to Satsuki. Satsuki jolts out of reverie when she sees Ryuko’s hand fly through the air, still holding her beer.
She feels like she’s having a premonition: Ryuko spilling her beer on her shorts, then taking said shorts off. Laying on Satsuki’s couch in only underwear and a bandeau. Satsuki is fairly positive she would not be able to control herself any longer if that were to happen.
“Matoi, stop!”
Ryuko stops abruptly and looks at Satsuki. She looks almost afraid, frozen half sitting with her beer still held aloft like some great blade.
“You, uh, don’t want to spill on your shorts, do you? They look like, um, really nice, er, basketball shorts. I’d hate for you to ruin them,” she says lamely. Smooth, Kiryuuin.
“Heh? These?” She looks down at herself as if forgetting she is even wearing clothes. In Ryuko’s case, this might actually be true. “Oh these are Uzu’s. I don’t give a flying fuck if they get dirty or not.” She takes a long swig of her beer and slumps back into the couch like she owns the thing. “Anyway, where was I? Ah yes, so the guy goes down like a tree…”
Satsuki has stopped listening.
Ryuko is wearing Uzu’s shorts.
Uzu the cameraman. Who is a man.
What if Ryuko is straight? Satsuki never even considered that Ryuko might be gay for pay. Lots of actors are. The only thing worse than having a crush on a porn star is having a crush on a straight porn star.
Ryuko is still ranting about her bar fight, so Satsuki doesn’t even try to be subtle about frantically texting Uzu.
To: Sanageyama
>>>ARE YOU GOING OUT WITH RYUKO?
To: Sanageyama
>>>TELL ME OR YOU’RE FIRED.
To: Satsuki
>>> nah bro chill *joint emoji*
To: Sanageyama
>>>IS RYUKO STRAIGHT?
To: Sanageyama
>>>TELL ME OR YOU’RE FIRED.
To: Satsuki
>>>ok 1. u cant threaten the same thing twice 2. y? *alien face emoji*
To: Sanageyama
>>>If you don’t tell me, I will tell Nonon that you like it up the butt and she’s going to show up at your house with Yo-Yo Ma.
To: Satsuki
>>> *weary cat face emoji* U KEEP THAT PINK HAIRED DEMON AND HER GIANT DILDOS AWAY FROM ME
To: Sanageyama
>>>Then tell me.
To: Satsuki
>>>wait who told u about that?
To: Sanageyama
>>>Ira told Mako, who told me. Now tell me.
To: Sanageyama
>>>god no shes not. im gonna kill ira *knife emoji*
Satsuki breathes a sigh of relief and looks back at Ryuko. Still ranting. Satsuki continues to subtly check her out until her phone goes off again.
To: Satsuki
>>>omg
To: Sanageyama
>>>What?
To: Satsuki
>>>u totes wanna bang her *salsa emoji*
To: Sanageyama
>>>This conversation is over.
Satsuki sets her phone face down, assuming Uzu will get the hint to drop it. But he lets her down with his inability to pick up on social cues and her phone starts going off like crazy. Ryuko finally stops her rant and looks questioningly first at Satsuki, who gives her a blank look back, then at her phone going off on the coffee table. Satsuki rolls her eyes and finally picks up the device to open her texts, glaring at it the entire time.
To: Satsuki
>>>go forth n conquer *surfer emoji*
To: Satsuki
>>>*sunglasses emoji*
To: Satsuki
>>>go boldly where no man has gone before *rocket emoji*
To: Satsuki
>>>*two girls holding hands emoji*
To: Satsuki
>>>*rainbow emoji*
To: Satsuki
>>>*kissy face emoji*
To: Satsuki
>>>i have a strap on if you wanna borrow it
To: Satsuki
>>>*winky face emoji*
“So, who’s texting you so much?” Ryuko asks. The shy tone makes Satsuki snap her head up and give Ryuko a questioning glance.
“Its just Uzu,” she says with a shrug, scrolling through the emojis Uzu is still sending at an alarming rate. That man has a problem.
“Oh,” Ryuko says. A beat passes, then “He’s not your boyfriend or anything, right?!”
Satsuki almost drops her phone from the outburst. She can only stare wide eyed at Ryuko, trying to comprehend the question and to think of a universe where she would ever be dating Uzu. She’s drawing up blank.
Ryuko is looking down at her beer, fiddling with the tab until it pops off and she drops it into the empty can. Satsuki thinks she looks so small, all of sudden, and she just wants to hug her and hold her close. Not even in a sexual way, but just because Ryuko looks like she needs it. Satsuki thinks that if she didn’t know Ryuko’s sexuality, Ryuko might not know her own and might feel just as awkward about it.
“Tch, I wouldn’t touch that buffoon even if I wasn’t gay,” she says as coolly as possible while finally typing a reply out to Uzu.
To: Sanageyama
>>>Stop or you’re fired.
Satsuki hears a deep exhale from the opposite end of the couch where Ryuko falls dramatically sideways against the cushions. She has a dopey smile on her face.
“For a second there, I was afraid that I was befriending some boring straight chick. Don’t scare me like that.” She reaches down to search for another beer from her seemingly bottomless paper bags.
“Ryuko, I shoot lesbian porn.”
“Well you never know, Eyebrows,” Ryuko replies, slightly muffled where her face is pushed against the side of the couch while she twists around even more to try and find a beer. Her too-large shorts have ridden down even more due to her position and Satsuki can see past a delicious hip bone and she’s pretty sure Ryuko isn’t wearing underwear.
“Well if you’re out of beer, I think its time to call it a night,” Satsuki says abruptly. She has to get Ryuko out of her before she combusts from pent up sexual frustration.
“Ah well it looks like you’re right for once, Sats.”
“I’m always right,” she interrupts.
Ryuko shoots her a look from under her bangs. “Uh-huh, sure, whatever helps your sleep at night. Since I am, in fact, out of beer, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then.” She hops off the couch, gathers her shirt from where she had thrown it not five minutes after arriving, and approaches the window.
“You know, I think we’re at that point in our friendship where you can just use the door,” Satsuki says from the couch. She’s still not really sure on the dryness state of her terry shorts at the moment and doesn’t want to risk getting up.
“Nah, this is way more fun,” Ryuko says with a wide eyed maniacal grin. She hitches up the basketball shorts and launches herself out the window, yelling “PARKOUR, BITCH.”
Satsuki doesn’t hear a crash this time and breathes a sigh of relief. Not because she’s worried about Ryuko’s well being. It would delay filming if she got hurt. They would have to change everything around. It would mean tons of work for Satsuki. Yes, that’s what she’s worried about.
She looks at her laptop, currently displaying an intimate moment between Nonon and Ryuko on the second floor balcony. Satsuki takes a moment to admire the shot. The view really had been beautiful that day. Speaking of beautiful, she leans forward and starts to zoom in on Ryuko’s neck.
“No!” she says to herself, closing her laptop and then glaring at her crotch.
She decides that a run is in order to release the tension that always seems to settle in her stomach after spending extended periods of time alone with Ryuko The tension isn’t only in her stomach, if her ruined underwear is anything to go by, but she chooses not to think of that.
She throws on her white tracksuit. Its pretty late and she doesn’t want to get hit by a car and this one is the most reflective. She snaps a blue sweatband to her head to hold back her bangs and the stray hairs from her bun, and starts stretching. Satsuki knows the importance of being limber in her line of work and the downfalls of not stretching. There was an unfortunate incident about a year and a half back when Nonon got a cramp during a rather intense scene. Satsuki shudders at the memory while she leans over her long legs. Ever since then, she’s made all her actors stretch each morning and after each break.
Grabbing her keys, Satsuki heads out the door and starts her run. Its more like an all out sprint, but Satsuki doesn’t believe in “jogging”. Its all or nothing for her.
She lets the blood pumping in her ears drown out memories of Ryuko’s moans. The burn in her legs sears away any lingering touches from Ryuko that night. The sweat against her skin reminds her of how Ryuko’s skin glistens when Nonon is pounding into her, reminding Satsuki that Ryuko is a porn star and Satsuki can’t get involved with a porn star. She won’t. No matter how cute she is, no matter how much Satsuki wants to hold her close, no matter how lonely Satsuki is, no matter how much she fills that cold, empty part of Satsuki.
Satsuki pushes herself even harder, hoping she can outrun the thoughts.
After an hour of all out sprinting around town, Satsuki is sufficiently tired enough to not think of Ryuko. So of course, Ryuko’s car is sitting across the street from her apartment.
If this is a sign from the universe, Satsuki is not amused.
She walks up to the car, confirming that yes, it definitely is Ryuko’s piece of shit car. The tailpipe is being held on with duct tape and there’s one of those Calvin peeing decals in the back window. She looks through the front window and what she sees makes a little gasp leave her mouth. Curled up in the driver’s seat is Ryuko, huddled under her hoodie, her hands clenched into fists beneath her chin.
Was Ryuko living in her car? Why?
Satsuki says fuck it to everything she was running from before. She’s gonna take care of this little shit whether she likes it or not.
She raps on the window and Ryuko jerks awake violently. She looks around, disoriented until her eyes fall on Satsuki glaring down at her. She jerks backwards again and hits her elbow on the gear shift.
“Matoi,” Satsuki says in her sternest voice. “Get out of the car.”
“Heh?”
“Get out the car. Now.”
Ryuko opens the door and stands up. “What do you want, Eyebrows?”
Before Ryuko can wake up and fully react, Satsuki grabs her arm and pulls her completely out of car and slams the door. She drags Ryuko behind her into the apartment building, up the stairs, and back into her apartment. She ignores the protests coming from behind her, tightening her grip around Ryuko’s arm when she tries to twist away. She all but throws Ryuko down on her couch when they get back into Satsuki’s apartment. Still ignoring Ryuko, she goes to her kitchen sink and pulls out a nearly full bottle of Belvedere vodka. She shoves it into Ryuko’s face, shutting her up.
“Drink. Then tell me why you were sleeping in your car,” Satsuki demands of the woman before her. Ryuko is wearing a shocked expression.
“Okay,” she says slowly. She reaches up for the bottle. “I’ll spill if you tell me something first.”
Satsuki tilts her head down minisculely to show Ryuko she can ask anything.
“What the flying fuck are you even wearing?’
Satsuki blushes intensely and snatches the bottle out of Ryuko’s hand while she cackles madly, clutching her stomach. Satsuki continues glaring at Ryuko. She usually can silence people with a look, but apparently Ryuko is immune as she laughs for a good 30 more seconds before wiping her eyes and sitting up straight.
“Okay, Sats, I’m done, I’m sorry, its just that outfit is too much. Like, I knew you had off fashion sense, but really. Oh man, okay.” She makes hand motions for the bottle and then pats the seat next to her. “Come on, sit down.” When Satsuki doesn’t make to move, Ryuko releases a sigh. “Look, its a long story. One I don’t particularly like sharing, but I like you, so I’ll tell you.” Satsuki blushes a little at Ryuko saying she likes her, but brushes it off. As a friend, obviously.
Satsuki takes off her jacket, but leaves on her pants and the sweatband because she doesn’t even want to know what her bangs look like at the moment. She settles in next to Ryuko, handing her the bottle. Their positions are reverse from just a few hours ago and Satsuki mentally flips the universe off for trying to send her another sign. Whatever.
Ryuko takes an unhealthy gulp of the vodka and releases her mouth with a hiss and a smile. Satsuki tries to not stare at her wet mouth for too long.
“Well the reason I’m currently sleeping my car is because of my crazy roommate, Nui.” Ryuko begins, handing Satsuki the bottle. She just holds it while listening to Ryuko, not wanting to forget this story.
“Bitch is crazy, first off. The only reason I’m living with her is because rent is hella cheap and we kind of had the same profession for a while. We uh,” Ryuko looks up at Satsuki through her bangs, suddenly bashful. Satsuki just lowers her eyebrows as if to say ‘really, Ryuko? get on with it.’ “Well, we were both running in the same circles. Prostitution circles. After doing pornos, sometimes I would earn a little extra cash by staying after the cameras stopped rolling. And Nui was a stripper, is a stripper doing the same sort of thing. We knew some of the same people and when I needed a place to live, quick, she offered. It was fine for a while, but then I didn’t want to do that anymore.” Ryuko curls up a little and reaches for the bottle, which Satsuki willingly hands over. After another swig, she continues. “I don’t mind shooting pornos. I really like it, in fact. Its the other part I didn’t like. Just the way those people would treat you, on and off the screen, after you’d done that with them,” she shivers a little and hugs herself a little, eyes downcast. Satsuki is rooted to the spot. “It wasn’t fair. Because they were paying me. They should be the ones that got looked down on.” Ryuko is speaking at almost a whisper at this point. She pauses for a few seconds. Then she seems to decide something and continues. “So I stopped that, but I’m still stuck with Nui until I have enough cash to move.”
Satsuki is pretty sure that Ryuko left something out, but doesn’t push. Not when she looks so vulnerable.
“That still doesn’t explain why you were sleeping in your car.”
“Ah, well, here’s the thing. Nui likes me. Like a lot.” Ryuko looks over at Satsuki and waggles her eyebrows. She’s got that spark back in her eye and Satsuki is glad that Ryuko is strong enough to not let her past break her.
“So Nui will try and come into my room after her “clients” have left and cuddle with me. Or ya know,” cue another eyebrow waggles. Satsuki just rolls her eyes, “other stuff. I mean, we did kiss. Once. When I was drunk. I barely remember it. But apparently, Nui saw it as a confession of my undying love and I have been just playing hard to get ever since. Honestly, she’s crazy.” Ryuko takes a smaller swig of the vodka. “So I have a lock on my door that she periodically breaks. She broke my latest one last night and I don’t get paid till tomorrow, so I can’t buy a new one until then. So, sleeping in my car. Its no big deal, really.” She takes another small drink. “Man, this stuff is fucking good.”
Satsuki scoffs. Of course Ryuko would reveal her tragic past one minute, and then comment on alcohol the next.
“I should hope so, it was expensive,” Satsuki says stiffly. It was expensive, and now a fourth of it is gone.
They sit in silence for a minute until Ryuko hands Satsuki the bottle.
"It's no fun drinking alone. Trust me, I know."
"Well drinking straight out of the bottle and just staring at each other isn't that much fun either," Satsuki mumbles. Personally, she'd be fine staring at Ryuko for hours but she's sure Ryuko wouldn't want to stare at her for more than necessary to receive direction on a position.
"Well since you dragged me away from my bed, I'm crashing here and you're entertaining me," Ryuko said brashly, putting her feet on the coffee table.
Satsuki frowns. "I was going to offer you a place to stay, but now I'm thinking I rescinding my offer." She takes a small sip of vodka to distract from Ryuko's roguish smile and then makes a face as the sharp flavor hits her tongue. Ryuko's smile only widens at Satsuki's discomfort.
"Fine. What do you want to do?" Satsuki really has a problem. She never gives in this easily.
Ryuko blows her red streaked bangs out of her face. "How about we watch a movie and play a drinking game to it? I know a few good ones."
"Alright that doesn't sound so bad," Satsuki says. She gets up and hands Ryuko the bottle. "I'm going to change out of these clothes and grab my laptop." She points a finger at Ryuko who looks up at her with wide eyes. "Don't drink anymore."
Satsuki strides out of the room quickly and hears something fall to the floor.
"Don't break anything either," she yells over her shoulder.
She quickly changes into yoga pants and an oversized white shirt with the pattern of a skull cut out of it, opting to leave her sports bra and sweatband on.
She walks back out to find Ryuko half naked, as usual. She’s still wearing the bandeau. Satsuki is starting to equally love and hate bandeaus.
Satsuki nudges Ryuko’s feet on the couch and starts setting her laptop up.
“What do you want to watch?”
“What do you have? I know a lot of movie drinking games. And we can always make something up,” Ryuko shrugs.
Typing in her password, she opens up Finder and starts clicking through to her movie selection. “Hmmmmmm I think I some Tarantino on here. We can always drink to the blood, but we might need more alcohol for that.”
Satsuki is interrupted by Ryuko lunging across her body and stopping her fingers on the track pad. Satsuki is pretty sure she has stopped breathing because Ryuko’s bandeau clad breasts are currently resting heavily on her forearms.
“What. Is. This.” Ryuko asks while hovering over a folder titled “PORN.”
“Its the movies I’ve directed. The final cuts at least.” Satsuki is suddenly self conscious about the folder, as if a porn star wasn’t currently draped over her.
“You might be the only person that actually labels their porn as ‘porn,’” Ryuko snorts. She leans back slightly and Satsuki regains some higher brain functions, like moving. She leans slightly away from Ryuko to prevent any more accidental touching. She’s already gone through one pair of underwear tonight.
“Well its not porn porn. Its how I make my living. Its not like I get off to it or anything. That would be weird,” Satsuki blushes slightly. She thinks of the newly created encrypted folder on her external hard drive buried in her desk filled exclusively with Ryuko’s unedited scenes.
“We should totally watch one of these movies!” Ryuko’s eyes have taken on a manic shine that Satsuki isn’t sure she likes. “How many do you have on here? Can we marathon them all?”
Satsuki unconsciously angles the screen away from Ryuko before clicking the folder. “If we marathoned all of them, we’d be here for a week.”
Ryuko’s face goes slack and her jaw almost drops to the floor. “Seriously? How many fucking pornos have you directed?”
“Enough to pay off my student loans already.” Ryuko’s jaw drops even more. Satsuki sniffs. Porn doesn’t pay that well, but she’s nothing if not determined. “So what are you in the mood to watch? I’ve been involved in a number of diverse projects,” she states all business. She’s definitely not internally freaking out about watching porn with Ryuko. Ryuko the pornstar. That she’s masturbated to. Nope, all business.
Ryuko takes a moment to consider the question.
“What’s the weirdest porno you’ve done?”
“Weirdest actors, subject matter, or actual scenes?”
“Subject matter first and then scenes. I plan on being very drunk by the end of this.” Ryuko is all but leering at this point.
Satsuki leans over her keyboard as she scrolls through the files.
“Weirdest subject matter would probably be one of my earlier films. Three Sisters. As you can guess, it involved three sisters. And yes, they were actual sisters.” Satsuki looks over at Ryuko with a challenging expression.
To Ryuko’s credit, she only looks shocked for a minute or two.
“So, are like, people are into that sort of thing?”
“I guess so. Personally, I don’t get it, but the actors were willing and my rent was due, so I did it.” Satsuki rather not remember her early days in the business: friendless, constantly scrambling for cash, feelings of guilt and shame threatening to overwhelm her at times. She shakes it off like she shakes everything off. “Do you want to watch it or not,” she stiffly asks Ryuko.
“Hell yeah I wanna watch a Kiryurin original. I’ll make up the rules as we go along and you have to drink. No exceptions, excuses, or pussying out. Got it?” Ryuko fixes Satsuki with her sternest look, which is amusing because she sways slightly. Satsuki assumes all that chugging from early is catching up to her.
She grabs the bottle from Ryuko’s hand and takes an impressive gulp. Ryuko isn’t the only one that has had their drinking alone days.
“I’d never fucking pussy out,” Satsuki swears and almost keeps it together if not for the scandalized look on Ryuko’s face. She laughs loud and openly and when she looks back, Ryuko has a dazed look on her face. She must be more drunk that Satsuki first assumed.
“A-alright,” Satsuki says after finally tearing her eyes away from Ryuko’s soft expression, “here we go.” She clicks the space bar with a flourish and the screen fills up with a tacky intro and cheesy music.
“Oh god I hated this opening. I used it on like ten films, and I hated it every time. I can’t believe we’re watching this,” she gripes. Apparently Ryuko finds great amusement in Satsuki’s misfortune because she laughs, all teeth and throaty. Satsuki finds herself liking it a lot better than her own laugh.
They settle back into the cushions of the couch with the bottle of vodka nestled between their thighs like their bastard child and watch the movie. Between Satsuki’s constant criticisms of her own work and Ryuko’s seemingly endless rules, they end up drinking and laughing themselves to sleep on the couch with Ryuko’s head tucked underneath Satsuki’s chin and their hands touching.