Chapter Text
Shiro sat at the counter, slurping on a huge strawberry milkshake. Damn, that guy was cute.
"He's adorable, isn't he?", Lance muses, the halo of an angel hovering above his head. "How easily he gets distracted. And all it takes is you talking to him." He snickers and shakes his head in amusement.
Shiro sits there, wallowing and sighing into his drink. He was cute indeed. All his rambling and all the talk about physics that didn't make any sense because Shiro was sure the guy was messing some things up there and he didn't have the heart to correct him.
"How can someone be so pretty, Lance?", Shiro huffs.
"I don't know, do you check your mirror sometimes?", Lance suggests and Shiro waves him off.
"Don't let Sven hear about that."
"You practically look like identical twins. If I find you attractive it only means he is, too."
Finally he flips the 'Open' sign at the door around, displaying their closing hours instead now.
"Soooo, you got a soft spot for Keith, huh?", he then grins at Shiro and the one addressed immediately knows that this smirks can't mean anything good. Then he wrinkles his forehead.
"Who's Keith?"
"'Who's Keith?' ' Who is Keith????' You've been staring at him for the past two hours and you didn't even ask for his name??" The tall, skinny boy stares at him flabbergasted.
Shiro sits there. Pondering for words. "I-
…… His name is Keith??"
"Yes. Keith, like in Rolling Stones' Keith Richards." Lance rolls his eyes.
"His last name is Richards??"
"Shiro. That's so not the point!! There is a cute guy. Who is totally head over heels for you. And you don't even seem to mind? How long has it been? The last one who didn't find you scary for definitely no reason I can immediately think of and that isn't totally obvious??"
"It's been in college. That guy was you.", Shiro reminds him.
Okay, fair. That one is true.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah.", the tanner one waves him off. "Again totally not the point, also I'm with your brother now."
"Who conveniently looks like my twin…", he reminds him.
"Shush, big man!! I love Sven a lot and that has nothing to do with you two basically being clones.", he pouts.
"He's big and soft and beautiful, an amazing dancer and he sings like an angel. Excuse you for questioning my unconditional love for my lion, you lioness-less oh so big boss!"
They finally step out of the establishment and into the night. The sky above their head is clear, a dozen stars sparkling tonight.
"Speaking of the devil..", Shiro humms and nods in a certain direction. Lance's face immediately lightens up.
"What were you talking about?~"
"Oh. Just about the most perfect man that ever stepped into my life whom I want to have a lot of four-legged soft, purring baby kids with, my angel, the light of my life, future Mr. McClain."
"Ugh, that guy sounds awful. Whom do I have to fight for stealing my lioness away?" Sven laughs and wraps an arm around Lance's slim waist. "Good evening, honey~", he then purrs and snuggles his nose into the soft brown hair, just to take a deep breath.
Lance can't help but chuckle a little. He cuddles closer, visibly enjoying the non-existant space between them. "Good evening, sugar. How was work?"
Sven growls. Shaking his head just slightly. "Let's not talk about that. I have ER shift the whole week."
"Ewwwww. Don't they have special nurses for this?"
"I am this special nurse. I was just lucky they were over-staffed when I started there so they stationed me at the disabled kids department."
".... That means I don't get to see you for an entire week?" Now he frowns.
"It's just a week, honey. Besides, we still see each other at home."
"Yeah exactly. At home. For an hour. It's a week , Sven."
"You'll manage, love." Sven softly pats his hair and hugs him a little tighter. "I'll make up for the time lost, promised!"
“.... Does that mean weekend trip to Falcon City?” Lance’s eyes start to glisten hopefully.
Sven sighs, then laughs. “Yeah, weekend trip to Falcon City!”
“YAAAAAAS!!” Lance whoops and throws his fist up in the air. “Line dance all day, all night. God, I love you, Sugar, you’re the best man
ever.
” He snuggles against Sven’s broad chest and you can see Shiro roll his eyes.
To be honest, sometimes he gets jealous of these two. Them being around each other feels so natural and they seem to be inseparable. They rarely fight, they always seem to be happy and content. They live together in their very home, adopted a pet, go on cavity inducingly sweet dates and simply co-exist so peacefully with each other. In Shiro’s eyes these two are the perfect relationship. His brother Sven the calm, kind-hearted type of person and Lance the flirty, cheesy boyfriend who is super extroverted and very easy to like. Their relationship is flawless…
“Are you okay, Shiro?”
It’s Sven now who asks him and gives him a concerned look.
“Oh, he’s probably just thinking about Billy Ray McMullet.”, Lance snorts. “A shame you missed him, I could have used some help cleaning up the drool puddle at their table!”
Shiro needs a minute, some long, deep breaths. "Sorry… My mind scrambled…. What were you saying?"
He can feel Sven's warm, gentle hand on his shoulder. He knows what's up, he can tell from the expression on his face.
"What's up, little brother?", he asks the man with the long hair.
"I was… Thinking. Sorry. I'm still a bit in disbelief about today. It happened so sudden."
".... Not sudden enough if you ask me~", Lance humms with a mischievous look. "It's a pity it took me so long to set this up so you two finally talk!"
"The little one with the mullet?", Sven intervenes. He has seen him occasionally when he picked up Lance after closing hours. He was a steady customer, wasn't he?
"Yep! Shiro can't keep his eyes off of him and he needs a man! It's been so long!"
Shiro but purses his lips. Sighs. Yes, it's been long. And Keith is surely one of a kind. He's cute, beautiful and, as far as he can tell, very adorable, when he gets all flustered. But could he really be that guy? It's not the first time Lance tried to set him up with some random dude, though maybe his best friend Matthew wasn't so random, but definitely bi-curious when he was drunk, but it had never worked out.
"It's time to stop moping over Adam."
"I'm not moping."
"... It's been four years. That's a very long time. Look-" Sven says and gives him a sympathetic smile. "-you gotta let yourself have a chance to heal. To open your heart again for someone else. What happened can't be changed, I'm sure he has forgiven you by now. But you have to stop running after your past. Look forward, Shiro. And start giving yourself some credit.
We both know life has been hard on you. And you know we're always there to help. But you are the only one who can give yourself the first push. Stop living in the past. You're a man with a big heart and a lot to offer. We see that every day with all the work you do for the Lions and everything you did for me, Lance, Matt, Pidge, Sam and all the others. But now give someone else the chance to see for themself how amazing you are."
He can hear a crumbling noise. Feel Lance shoving something into his pocket.
"Keith's phone number. He has left several napkins with it at the Yard already and I bet he has been trying to figure out how to give it to you. Text him. Alright?" Lance's lips melt into a warm smile. The Lance that was just goofing around and making fun of him not seven minutes ago, now so serious and caring. That guy, Shiro simply finds him fascinating.
He can feel the little ball of paper in his jacket.
Yeah. Maybe he should give it a try.
Maybe it wasn't too late for a man like him after all.
Maybe he was ready again to let someone in.
What is love actually?, that's a question Shiro asks himself again after today.
Out in the dark, over him nothing but a perfect night. The stars shone bright, almost too bright for the cloudiness of his mind. He loved to come out here, lay down in the high grass and forget about the world for a moment.
Only that he couldn’t forget the world today. Around him there was nothing but the song of the crickets, the beauty of the untouched nature in the night. And yet, his head, his thoughts were so loud.
Love
, they said.
Open your heart and let someone in.
But deep inside he knew it was the darkest place to go. Nobody would want that.
He
wouldn’t want it for anybody. Deep inside he was ugly and broken. A broken music box with screeching sound and a ballerina without a second leg. Deformed, useless and forgotten. The accident took its toll. And every once in a while Shiro gets reminded that he’s not the same person he was when he was younger. Nobody could ever love someone broken like him.
Shiro himself, he has a lot to give. Friendship, affection, kindness. At least this remained.
He loves his brother with all his heart, even though they don't have the same mother. They share the same flesh and blood, at least to some extent, they lived together and alas they are family now more than they’ve ever been.
He has loved Matt since forever, they've been best friends since the day they first met. That stupid, dorky nerd with his weird ideas and strange humor. The guy who got easily excited over some new tech junk and could probably fix an entire computer within less than an hour.
He loves Katie like a little sister and is fond of protective of her. Matt’s little sister who accepted him as if it was nothing, as if he’d always been there and stuck around. She snuggled under his sheets when she was little and was afraid of an upcoming thunderstorm or cried her heart out over the death of her favourite plant.
He loves the Holts for being what he lost in this horrible accident when he was just a child. They're his family and they took him under their wings when he had no hope left. They let him stay till late, they offered their sofa long before they decided to set up an extra sofa in Matt’s room for him to sleep on. They called him their son like they have found their long lost child after an agonizing amount of time.
He loves the Lions and he could never turn his back on them even if he had no other choice. He's their leader and they count on him. They’re more than just a gang of bikers, more than a pack of people who stick together and ride down the road with a roaring engine under their asses. They’re his home and somewhere he could always return to. They’re his safe place and his haven.
He thought he loved Adam…. But then, why was it so easy to leave him just to go to Nunville and be with whom was left of his family? When Sven reached out to him there was nothing left to even think about. From the day he found the letter in his mailbox he knew he would go.
Adam tried to stop him, told him if he needed someone he was here. That Shiro should settle and forget about his past. They would get married in less than a month and then they’d be husbands, move away from their college grounds and enjoy their lifes together.
Shiro moved away. Only that he didn’t take Adam with him.
And now, years after all this happened, he regrets it. He feels terrible for the way he treated Adam, feels terrible that he left him nothing but a stupid goodbye note. He cut all contact, changed his number after ghosting him for months and tried never to think of him again. ‘
The Adam that was a gentle and sensitive guy. He was always hard working and goal driven, he never hesitated to speak his mind, his cooking was just as terrible as his snoring at night and his touches always calmed Shiro’s nerves.
A look on his phone reminded him to head back home. It was a quarter past midnight and he had a huge vernissage coming up tomorrow where he absolutely needed to be present.
Maybe he could ditch it anyway.
But he shouldn’t, he knows that.
So he falls into his bed and closes his eyes. He’s still dressed but he can’t find himself to care.
A piece of crumbled paper falls out of his pocket.
He blindly paws for it, picks it up, opens his eyes tiredly to look at it.
What’s the worst that can happen?
, he thinks before his phone screen lights up again.
He starts to type.
// Hey, this is Shiro. // , he types away. // Sorry to be a bother that late. I just wanted to say that I enjoyed meeting you today. I wouldn’t mind repeating this. Have a good night now. I’ll see you around. //