Chapter Text
The night was dark, the clouds concealing any light from the moon and reflected back firelight from the earth's surface, colouring them a menacing red.
A silent figure wandered the streets of Jerusalem, humming a tune to himself, sipping wine from a flask and petting a few goats he passed, muttering about how wonderfully healthy they looked. He approached a hill outside the city, peaked by a solitary tomb covered in picked flowers that were beginning to look rather dried out.
As he neared the top of the hill he grimaced at the armoured bodies littering the ground. He knelt down and stroked a hand across one guards helmet, carefully turning it and peering around at the face.
“Oh-“ he dropped the head in sickened shock and looked away, only noticing that his hand was covered in blood from the helmet and tried to wipe it off on the grass. There was only more blood on the grass and he stood up repulsed. “Oh- lord- Oh- Thats gross-“
“Aziraphale, is that you?” Came a stern voice from somewhere amongst the tombs.
“Ah- yes- I-“ The angel stammered. He miracled his hands clean but wiped the memory away on his toga, stepping carefully over the body and wandering to the crest of the hill. “Gabriel my lord? Where are you?”
“Over here Aziraphale.” And Aziraphale saw Gabriel, dressed in a plain grey robe beside the tombs entrance, he was sitting on a rock, cleaning a glimmering broadsword. He’d pushed a torch into the ground nearby for some light, causing the sword to flash red as he eventually sheathed it.
Aziraphale timidly wandered closer, wringing his hands together and leaning forwards as if he was about to say something but the words were caught in his throat.
Gabriel put his hands on his hips and watched him, enjoying letting him suffer for a moment longer. “... What’s up Aziraphale?”
“Y-you killed all these guards?” He sputtered.
Gabriel looked around with pursed lips and shrugged. “Yeah. … Surprising? I can do that.”
Aziraphale’s tense demeanor collapsed and he backed away, looking at the floor and doing more fidgeting with his hands. “Oh- well- I- Oh dear-“
The archangel grew tired. “Aziraphale honestly, what’s your problem?”
“What did they do?”
“They stood between me and Jesus’ tomb that’s what.” He spoke like it was obvious.
“Ah well- yes-,”
“You’ve killed people Aziraphale why is this any different?” The angel huffed one last time and looked sadly at the closest body. Gabriel frowned. “You knew them.”
“Yes we- they were kind to me.”
“Hm, well they made a mistake.”
“Hmph,” The angel closed his eyes and whispered quietly.
“What are you doing?” The archangel inquired. Carefully.
Aziraphale opened one eye. “Blessing them?”
“Why bless them?”
“Don’t you pray for those you kill?”
“No! Why would I do that? If I kill anybody they’re all going to hell anyway. Because guess who’s in charge of them getting to heaven?”
“God?”
“Yes! And I am the voice of God. So blessing them would be like writing a letter to myself. Plus you do realize these soldiers were the ones that argued about who got what of Christs clothing?”
“Well it makes sense, clothes go to waste in a tomb, it’s normal to loot the criminals that get executed.”
“That may be right but they were still in my way here.”
“... These soldiers were only following orders.”
“Those orders were… in the path of fate. And since these had a part in crucifying Christ, if they were really good they would’ve refused.”
Aziraphale looked up and narrowed his eyes at Gabriel. “Yes, if they didn’t like the orders, they’d just have to say no.”
The Archangels fake smile intensified. They watched each other for a good moment. “It’s up to them what they do.”
“They had every option.”
“Of course. If they don’t like the orders they don’t follow through, simple as.”
“Oh sure, orders are just suggestions to humans anyway. Of course it depends on the superior, if their superior is morally good then they're fine, but if a superiors morals are questionable at best, its the soldiers duty to refuse. And the repercussions for that aren’t much anyhow. A night without food, getting publicly ostracized. ”
“I mean they’d avoid getting cast into hell, any repercussions before that are a small price to pay next to avoiding hell.”
Aziraphale left another pause. “So any soldier that follows their opinions and says no to a superior… avoids falling.”
“... Humans don’t fall, they get cast.”
Aziraphale took a deep breath. “Biiiiig difference.”
Gabriel's hand clapped onto Aziraphale’s shoulder. “Glad you understand.”
“Yes, superior.”
“Do you bless the people you remove?” The Archangel questioned but was already moving towards the tomb.
Aziraphale seemed to be caught off guard but eventually shrugged and followed. “No, no I suppose I don’t. I guess I just thought you would- you know what neverm-“
“Did you call me lord earlier?” Gabriel clearly hadn't been listening, and the next question caught Aziraphale by so much surprise that he forgot to care.
“Oh! Uh, yes, yes I did.”
Gabriel had been inspecting the tombs sealing rock, and turned to look at Aziraphale sternly. “Lord is God for us. I don’t think that’s appropriate.”
“Um…” Aziraphale furrowed his brows thoughtfully. “My Archangel?”
“Hm,”
“Sir?”
“Better but-“
“My angel?”
“... let's just stick to Gabriel.” He turned to the rock and had a thought. “Hey Aziraphale you’ve been keeping yourself in shape right?”
“Huh? Oh, yes!”
The archangel smiled, stepped back and tapped the stone. Aziraphale didn’t look like he got it at first so Gabriel added a prompt. “Let’s get inside,”
The Angel didn’t seem to get it for a moment longer, then seemed to pretend he still hadn’t got it before finally sighing and rubbing his hands together. “Fine, fine.”
He stepped up to the rock in the tombs entrance and made a show of looking over it, trying to delay. He brushed his hands across it to find the best points of purchase and then did his best to lift.
The rock barely budged.
Gabriel put a hand to his chin to cover a less fake smile.
Aziraphale tried a number of different positions to pull at the rock, his sandals slipped on the wet grass and his face went red with effort. Finally Gabriel finally decided to put him out of his misery. You had to have fun somehow.
“Come on Aziraphale, you’ve made about as much progress as a sloth with arthritis.”
“This rock is about three times the size of me Gabriel!” The puffing angel retorted as The taller angel pushed himself between the short one and the rock.
“Still shouldn’t be a problem for a Principality Aziraphale.”
The Principality stepped back, crossed his arms and looked away adamantly as Gabriel flexed and pulled the rock away without so much as breaking a sweat.
He turned to look at Aziraphale who slowly looked back around. He clicked a hand and gestured into the tomb. Aziraphale frowned. “What’s a sloth?”
“Aziraphale have you honestly not traveled at all yet?”
“... I’ve been busy. You’ve kept me busy.”
Gabriel shrugged and gestured to the tomb again. “Correct answer I suppose.”
This time Aziraphale crouched through the doorway and shuffled down underground.
The tomb felt like a capsule of dry cool air. The flickering of the torch outside did little to let them see what was inside. Aziraphale quietly whispered into his palm and a focus of luminescence rose from his hand, blanketing the room in warm holy light. The angels breath hitched in his throat as he took in the gaunt features of Christ wrapped in white, modestly-decorated blankets on the dusty ground inside.
The Archangel didn’t seem bothered at all. “There’s the lad.” He slipped inside, having to kneel into the small space. “Ugh couldn’t he have gotten an Egyptian style tomb or something? This place is a little beneath him really.”
“I don’t think that’s the kind of message we’re trying to… portray.”
“Materialism and all that, I know, but I should be able to stand up. Now, he should be waking himself up in a minute.”
“Waking himself up? Why are we here?”
“Well he’s died Aziraphale, we didn’t expect him to be buried in a stone tomb like this. Do you think a man that’s recently died and then come back to life will be able to push a rock like that out of the way?”
Aziraphale huffed. “No I suppose not. Though digging himself out of the ground doesn’t seem easy either… You could move the rock by yourself. Why am I here?”
“I have to admit uhh…” The archangel rubbed his chin again and looked at Christ. “I haven’t actually spoken to him before.”
“What?!” Aziraphale knocked his head against the rock ceiling in his surprise and grunted. “Not- not even once?”
“No, been busy.”
“Honestly Gabriel.”
The Archangel bristled. “Don’t honestly me Aziraphale, you couldn’t fathom how much work I’ve been doing down here.”
“Alright, alright Gabriel I get it. You want me to introduce you?”
“No,” Gabriel looked up and gave Aziraphale a soft smile. “You’re gonna enjoy this.”
Aziraphale was drenched with dread. “What? What?”
“Honestly you will,”
“Gabriel I have to say I’m not enjoying this back and forth mood you’ve been in today-“
“Really it’ll be easy.”
“WHAT will be easy?!”
“You’re going to introduce yourself as me. All the best!” He slapped a hand on Aziraphale’s back and turned to retreat but the lesser angel grabbed his toga with surprising force.
“WHAT GABRIEL?”
“What Aziraphale?”
Aziraphale hissed. “You’re that willing to avoid talking to humans that you’d let me parade with your title? Well I’m not participating in this charade!”
“Hey- hey, hey Aziraphale .” Gabriel waved his hand in front of Aziraphale, eyes wide. “Nobody will know, what’s the big deal. This is a secret between you, me and that deaf, dumb and blind rock by that entrance. Unless one of those Romans are still conscious, which I could go and double check .”
“Permission to speak frankly, and… without restraint.”
Gabriel seemed surprised. “You’re an angel of the Lord Aziraphale, you always have permission to speak your mind.”
Aziraphale hesitated and the Archangel furrowed his brows curiously, but Aziraphale continued. “I think… you’re frightened of talking to Christ-“
“Very funny Aziraphale-“
“No I’m serious Gabriel!”
“So am I!”
“No you’re-“
“Just deal with the human!”
“You’re acting like a child!”
“Me? A child?”
“Yes! And I don’t know why but-“
“Aziraphale-“
“Gabriel!” The angel retorted forcefully. “I asked to speak my mind, would you let me finish a sentence?”
The Archangel’s eyes held ice. “You’re mind is clearly not in the best condition right now Aziraphale. Do you have a problem with what I’ve asked you to do?”
A battle raged in Aziraphale’s eyes. One side telling him to let it slide, the other not. “What about what we were talking about with the soldiers?”
Gabriel leant back and stared at the angel. “How does that apply here Aziraphale?”
The angel knew it was hopeless because any questioning of Gabriel's morals was a non-starter. He sighed and rubbed his brow, there was no hope of winning here. “You go wait outside. I’ll do the dealing with the human thing.”
“Good man, it’s what you’re best at.” Gabriel murmured quietly, eyes glimmering as he backed out of the tomb.
“Aziraphale?” The Archangel froze as a meek voice emanated from the back of the tomb. He turned to see Aziraphale smile at him.
“That’s your plan blown out of the water, he still recognizes me.” The angel whispered, he turned his head to look at the figure slowly sitting up in the dark. “Hello old frie- Oh lord!”
“Hm? What’s wrong angel?” The body wheezed.
“Nothing, you’re just, err… you just look a bit… necrotic right now. Let me just…” The angel reached into his robe and pulled out a small bag. “This was for me but it should help set your faculties up again. Its bread and fish.”
Jesus, as it were. Had been cleaned up by his friends before being buried, but he still had some nasty scars on his hands and a sallow complexion. He was still in his early 30’s, wrapped in funeral rags and trinkets, he looked bleary eyed and looked like he couldn’t focus on anything yet, needing Aziraphale to guide his hands to the lunchbox. “Who were you talking to?” He croaked.
“This is Gabriel.” The Archangel made to leave again but Aziraphale yanked him back inside by his robe. He cursed under his breath but Aziraphale paid no heed. “He opened your tomb for you, you were sealed in by a rather hefty rock. He carried it all by himself!”
“Gabriel?” Christ looked around carefully, slowly coming to his senses though it still felt a little disturbing. Gabriel himself was still looking at the entrance to the tomb but had finally settled to sit in the small space. The principality noted how tense he suddenly looked. “The Archangel?”
“Yes, he’s here.”
Jesus smiled. “We finally meet.” There was a moment of silence as Gabriel made no reaction, but he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder. He saw a chunk of bread held out by a hand beside him. “Eat with me old friend. There’s so much I’d like to ask you.”
Gabriel didn’t turn his head. “I don’t consume… matter.”
“Oh! Right, Aziraphale mentioned that he was an odd one before.” Jesus seemed to chuckle past his dry throat, putting on friendliness though he was clearly still in some pain. The principality handed him a flask of water and Jesus took it gratefully.
The Archangel scratched the back of his head. “Uhh…” He seemed to force himself to relax. “Your family is well.”
“Oh really? Thank you for watching over them. How long was I asleep?”
“About 3 nights.” The Principality replied, he paused as he realised he’d passed Jesus his wine flask and not his water flask. He didn’t say anything as wine was finished off, looking like it took all of his restraint to not grab it back.
Jesus gasped and handed the flask back. “Three nights?”
“Three nights.” Aziraphale tipped the flask upside down, it was definitely empty.
Jesus looked back at Gabriel as the silence continued. “Thank you for watching over me all this time Gabriel.”
“Hm,” Gabriel’s fingers rested on his lips again.
“It must’ve been lots of work, forgive me.”
“Yeah,”
“You did an amazing job.”
The fact that they currently sat in a tomb however, hung heavy in the air. Though they all also knew that that had had to happen.
“I’m gonna… check.” He didn't specify what, but the Archangel finally squeezed out of the shallow tomb and slunk outside.
Jesus sighed and sat back against the rock. “Are all Archangels like that?”
“No! No…” Aziraphale murmured. “He’s just…”
“Shy?”
“Shy?!” Aziraphale chuckled. “No, no Gabriel is probably the most proud and boastful Angel around. No he’s just…” The Principality looked up at the ceiling thoughtfully, imagining the man above them. “I’m still figuring it out myself but… I think he feels threatened.”
“By me?”
“Unfortunately yes.” The angel placed a gentle hand on Christs shoulder. “I’ve never really seen him like that before, unable to talk, or unwilling. He usually has something to spit. He’s never looked frightened, not even when facing death himself…” Aziraphale blinked and looked at Jesus seeming to realize something. “Oh sorry! That talk is probably quite confusing or frightening to you. Something that happened millenia ago-”
Jesus smiled gently. “No no… It’s fascinating.”
“R-right.” He smiled and patted Christs hand softly. “You’re smarter than we give you credit for. Sorry. I’m used to… downplaying it… I shouldn’t.”
“I understand.”
The angel smiled but still held some doubts. “Uhh, a- about Gabriel… It’s not your fault. I think… he’s used to always being the most important angel in the room, besides the other Archangels. You’re the first being around the material and heavenly planes that could rank above him, order him around even. He feels as though angels were doing a great job for humanity without God intervening and sending you, so perhaps he thinks that you’re a symbol of some perceived failure. There’s also that humans have been becoming angels in the last century or so, taking high positions…”
“He thinks that I’ll replace him?” Jesus looked surprised.
The angel shrugged. “In a way… yes. He’s worked hard for a long time. Your appearance and his having to defend you is almost… offensive?”
Jesus looked down at his hands with a frown. “That’s why he avoided me. I could see him watching though, he still did his job well. Though he shouldn’t be afraid of me taking his work.” He leant in close to Aziraphale, even though they were alone. “In all honesty… I’m all up for not ever having to work again, no matter what’s up there.”
The angel laughed again. “Is that so? I’m sure he’ll be glad to hear that. Perhaps you’ll get talking more later.”
“Why would Gabriel be so worried about losing his position though?” Jesus queried. “As far as I understand it, you were all made to fit your jobs perfectly. Gabriel should be the perfect being… Irreplaceable.”
The angel looked sympathetic. “Ah… yes well… Speaking of those millenia ago… Something that may have been glossed over in the stories…”
“... Yes?” They leant even closer together.
“The first war between angels and demons, at the beginning of it all. You must realize… Before lots of those angels rebelled, they were our friends.” The two met each others gazes as the angel made sure the understanding of that sank in. “Some of Gabriels close friends even. And then he had to fight them, and know how close he might’ve come to falling as well… That kind of thing scars you, and I think he’s driven by that. Though that was also the point of us setting an example by… casting the demons down.”
They were silent for a moment, both looking at the floor. “Were some of those angels your friends too?”
The angel hesitated. “Honestly it was so long ago, I can barely remember. I just remember seeing their skin melt, their flesh succumb to rot, their wings burn in to black, their eyes… even watch their souls corrode away. They’re uncomparable to their angelic selves, I couldn’t match them to their former names.”
“That sounds… awful. You must be frightened of falling too.”
“Well of course we all are.”
“That demon though… I met one, he showed me lots of places in the world that I’d never seen before-“
“Red hair?”
“Yes him, I've never seen red hair before.”
“There’s some in Rome, travelers from the north have it, and I’ve heard of some clothing dyes being made for hair to make it red… anyway that demon’s called Cra- Crowley. And he’s quite amenable compared to the rest.”
“He was.”
“Gabriel though,” The angel cleared his throat and changed the topic. “He’d never let God down. Whether he was frightened of you or not, he looked after you. There’s nothing else he’d want more than to do his job well.”
“I thank him for it, and I’m sure God thanks him for it.”
The angel smiled and squeezed his hand. “I’m sure they do, but I think he’d like to hear that from them every once in a while.”