Chapter Text
Approximately Four Months Later
"Oi, Caesar!" A faint voice called out from a few stories down, far outside his apartment. He recognised it.
Caesar Zeppeli looked up from where he had been looking over his dating profile, away from his phone and out towards his window. What was the idiot doing now?
There was a much louder thump noise, and a booted leg swung itself into view, curling around his windowsill as its owner pulled himself upwards. Holy shit.
"Jesus fucking- Joseph!" Caesar launched himself towards the window and yanked the idiot Joestar inside his apartment. "This is the fourth floor you fucking dumbass! Goddamn- che cazzo tu idiota!"
Joseph just beams up at him like he isn't the dumbest son of a bitch to ever walk the face of the earth. "Caesarino!" He practically yells, "You didn't tell me you were in town!"
Caesar snorts. "I sent you a fucking text, dumbass."
"Doesn't count, you know I never check my phone!"
"Yes, well, maybe the day that you decide to join the rest of the world in the modern era will be the day that you know when I'm in town or not."
Joseph, wielding his many years of life and maturity as if it were a sharpened blade, did the grown-up thing and stuck his tongue out at him.
"Jesus christ," Caesar grumbled, "I don't know why I bother." He reached down to pick up his phone from where it had fallen during the chaos just a few moments prior, but it was quickly snatched away from his grasp by none other than Joseph.
"Ooh~ Caesarino is this a dating site?" He teased, looking over at Caesar with a wide grin, twisting the phone in his hand to face him. He craned his arm away from Caesar so that he could escape with it should he try and make a grab for the phone.
Caesar will absolutely deny the fact that he blushed bright red at Joseph's teasing till the day he dies. "Give me that." He snapped, tearing the phone out of Joseph's grip and quickly shoving it back into his jacket pocket. "And my dating life is none of your fucking business, you absolute ass." He glared at Joseph.
Joseph, slightly put-out from having the phone he had stolen fair and square taken away from him, glared back. They just stared at each other for a few seconds, before a slight smile started to worm it's way onto Joseph's features. Caesar huffed out a breath.
"Good to actually see you after so long, Jojo." And honestly? That was probably the best Joseph was going to get from him, as the prideful man was completely adamant against revealing the fact he could actually miss people. Joseph would take what he could get.
"So, Caesarino, seeing as you were so rude as to not even tell me you were back in town-" he began, ignoring the protestful squawk of "I fucking texted you!" that Caesar released, "I was woooondering, would you want to go out for food?"
"Joseph Joestar," Caesar said, hand pressed against his chest in an exaggerated manner, "Could you possibly be asking me out?"
Joseph snickered. "Sorry, Cae, but I can not tie myself down like that, you know? Ladies love me."
"I'll bet. Give me a second to get ready and then we can go, alright?"
The two men, fully prepared to get absolutely fucking hammered after not seeing each other in such a long time, practically left the apartment hand-in-hand, just as the sun began to set.
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His head was fucking pounding. It felt like someone was taking a jackhammer directly to his brain, but the jackhammer had explosives tied to it.
He shifted slightly in- where was he, his apartment? His brain was on slow- bed, and immediately winced as the sensation of sheets rubbing against his skin was amplified and made nauseating by the migraine screaming away in his head.
There was a loud, pained noise from beside him that sounded like how he felt, and he flinched. "Shut th' fhuuuuck uup." Caesar groaned before he could think of anything more appropriate he could say to the person he had apparently woken up in bed with. Was he even wearing a shirt?
"Caes'r?" A voice groaned from beside him, and he recognised it as Joseph after a moment of hesitation for his brain to catch up. 'Wait.' He thought, 'wait fuck,' was he in bed, shirtless, with Joseph?
He violently pushed himself up, using both arms for support, and felt a veritable wave of regret as nausea slammed into his head. He ignored it, there were more important things going on right now.
He was wearing pants, which was good, but, he realised as he glanced over to his best friend, Joseph wasn't. Nor was he wearing a shirt.
At least he had underwear on?
No, Caesar decided after a moment, that didn't really help matters much.
"HEY FUCK!" Joseph screamed as Caesar shoved him out of the bed. Caesar hissed as the yell sent pain spiking around his already-worsening migraine.
Joseph moaned piteously from where he lay on the floor, duvet half-draped over him after his fall. "Whyyyyyyy?" He asked.
"Get the fuck up," Caesar replied, throwing the duvet off the bed competely to look for his shirt. They were in his apartment, which was good, but he couldn't remember anything that happened last night despite saying to himself he would only get one drink, so less good.
Joseph tugged the duvet to fully cover him from where he was lying on the floor in response. "What time is it?" He groaned.
"Not fucking important right now Joseph." Seriously, where was his shirt? He turned to where the other man lay sprawled on the ground, and yanked the cover away, ignoring the squawk of protest. "Do you remember what happened last night?" He asked, looking Joseph dead in the eye. Or, at least trying to, because Joseph seemed to be a lot more out of it than he was. Probably drank more.
"Nnno, should I?" He slurred out.
"Maybe," Caesar responded, bedore reaching towards his phone, which was thankfully still present on his nightstand instead of lost somewhere throughout the city.
He pressed the power button and it turned on with a small 'click'. The time read 10:27 in the morning, so not too late but still unacceptable by his usual waking schedule.
There was a single notice from the cash-transfer app he used. His stomach dropped. He clicked on it.
Smart, bright green letters glared up at him from his screen. "Transfer made!" They said, sitting right next to a sum with four zeroes.
"Joseph," Caesar said, in the calmest voice imaginable, because he was calm, he was totally fucking calm. Joseph had frozen where he lay, sensing the shift from irritated to pissed that Caesar went through "I want you to try and remember why I never go drinking with you."
"Is it because we make bad decisions together?" Joseph asked.
"Indeed. Now, get the fuck over here you absolute fucking stupido figlio di puttana-"
Joseph yelped as he bolted off of the floor. "Woah Caesar hey! I'm sorry! Put down the fucking lamp dude you're gonna hurt yourself!-"
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It was about 2 a.m, and highschool student Hisae Fujikawa of Budo-ga Oka Middle & High school blinked her moisture-deprived eyes at the figure on her phone screen. Holy shit, who knew Italian extracurricular lessons would have proved to be this useful?
She contemplated keeping this score to herself, purely because of the sheer amount of money it was, but quickly realised that if anyone caught wind of her working on group hours and not sharing profits, especially with a sum like this, she'd be booted from the network.
And the network was literally the only source of semi-steady income she had that didn't force her to resort to asking her parent. So, with a sigh, she transferred the money into the group-split account, the one people could deposit in but not withdraw from, until the end of every two weeks when the bosses would distribute everything evenly.
But god she couldn't wait for a cut of that score. She was getting employee of the month for sure.
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Viewing Private Conversation with user Joke-uyasu::
I_am_a_jojoke: DUDE.
I_am_a_jojoke: Check out the fucking deposit account.
Joke-uyasu: ????
Joke-uyasu: holy shit
I_am_a_jojoke: You've dragged me into a life of crime.
Joke-uyasu: holy shit we're gonna be rich!!
Joke-uyasu: dont be dramatic Josuke O)w(O
I_am_a_jojoke: It's not dramatics if it it literally illegal but go off.
I_am_a_jojoke: Also never owo @ me again.
Joke-uyasu: O)w(O
I_am_a_jojoke: We are committing Fraud.
Joke-uyasu: Ò)w(Ó