Chapter Text
“So? I'm listening.” - said Aaron waiting for the explanation.
“Alright... just hear me out.” - answered Robert as he grabbed Aaron's hand. Aaron looked at him alarmed, he knew this had to be something important. - “It's about the surrogacy.” - he said finally and immediately saw Aaron's face drop.
“Robert... we said...”
“I know, okay?” - he reassured him – “Just listen, that's all I'm asking. It's good news. I promise.”
“Is it?” - scoffed Aaron. - “My past hasn't changed Robert. I still have a record.”
“I know that, but there's a couple like us, with a similar situation... and they have a baby girl.”
“Through surrogacy?”
“Yeah.” - he smiled weakly.
“Let me guess, a nice straight couple where Mummy runs a million dollar worth business somewhere in the US?”
“Come on don't get snarky.” - tried Robert. - “It's a gay couple, and all I know is that one of them has a record but they still got the green light.” - Aaron didn't say a word, just looked away from Robert. Not that he was looking at him before. He stared at Seb clearly thinking. - “Look, they wanna meet us... this Friday.”
“What? Why?”
“So we could talk. Maybe they can help answer some questions we might have.”
“I don't know Robert.”
“Look, I told Emilia...”
“The woman on the phone?” - asked Aaron quickly.
“Yeah...I told her that I won't push you, and I really won't.”
“Oh, so that's why you went behind my back, right?” - snapped Aaron as he stood up.
“I didn't...”
“You didn't what? If I hadn't walked in you'd still plan this meeting without me knowing a thing about it.” - he told him as he tried to get away from the whole goddamn situation.
“Aaron please...”
“Not now Robert. I....” - he was ready to leave him there, only he couldn't. Robert grabbed his arm and pulled him flush against his chest.
“No, we have to sort this Aaron! It can really happen.” - he said before they realized that Seb was crying.
“Let me go, Robert!” - gritted Aaron twisting himself to get free. They were both next to Seb in no time, trying to calm him down. - “Oi, it's alright mate.” - hushed Aaron as he picked him up and started swaying with him. Robert's hand covered Seb's back, and in that moment they looked at each other with Aaron.”
“Seb, would you like a muffin?” - asked Robert trying to cheer him up.
“Hear that? Daddy's gonna get you chocolate muffin. You love those.” - smiled Aaron.
“What's going on?” - asked Liv coming home. - “Why is he crying?”
“Can you stay with him? I need to talk to Aaron.” - said Robert. His eyes never left Aaron's.
“What's this about?” - asked Liv curiously while she got Seb in her arms.
“Dadda.” - sniffed Seb reaching for Robert.
“Okay buddy, it's alright.” - he said holding his little hand. - “Liv's gonna get you that muffin.” - he said looking at her – “There's food in the fridge for you as well. I haven't made fries but everything else is there. Knock yourself out.”
“You're not gonna tell me then why you two were arguing? Because you were, right? Don't even try to deny it.” - she said to her brother. Aaron only shrugged as a response. - “Fine, but I want an explanation later. Sort it out. You only upset Seb.” - she said going to the kitchen. As soon as Seb got his muffin he was smiling again, the earlier argument he witnessed was long forgotten.
“Come on.” - whispered Robert looking at the direction of the stairs. - “Please Aaron.”
“Okay.” - he sighed letting Robert lead the way.
Needless to say their night was a bit.... frosty. Robert tried to explain to Aaron that it's possible for them to have more kids, but it looked like Aaron wasn't ready to hear any of it. He spent the majority of the night in Seb's room, just to avoid Robert, and since Robert promised he won't push it, he let him.
Robert didn't know whether Aaron told Liv about it or not, she didn't ask again that's for sure. The next morning she got up, gathered her bag and left in a hurry. Aaron was already in the kitchen tidying up when Robert walked down the stairs. It's him usually who wakes up first. He watched Aaron cleaning the table, and he only sensed that something was strange when he saw Seb, all dressed up, sitting in his high chair. Aaron looked at him for a second before he got his keys and bent down to pick up Seb's shoes.
“Where are you going?”- asked Robert as Aaron put the little shoes on Seb.
“Taking him to nursery, what do you think?”- he snapped. He was still angry.
“Okay, I get my ....”
“No, I'd rather do it alone.”
“Aaron....”
“ALONE, Robert!”
“Aaron we need to...... talk.” - by the time he finished the sentence, Aaron was out the door with Seb. Robert sighed as he sat down on the couch, thinking about how to get Aaron to talk, or how to make him listen. He knew what bothered his husband though. Of course, he did. Because he knew how bad Aaron wanted another child.... but after everything that happened... Natalie backing off when it was pretty much a done deal... after they started planning and all... it crushed him, and that kind of trust was hard to rebuild. Aaron was terrified that if... IF they have another chance the surrogate would change her mind halfway through the process, or worse... after the baby is born. That was the worst thing that could happen. Robert was optimistic, but he knew it was harder for Aaron. That didn't mean he was going to give up. He had to make him listen.
Aaron didn't go very far. He knew he had to take Seb to nursery but it was still early, so he decided to take a detour to the playground. Couldn't hurt to tire him out a bit.
“Hey mate, do you wanna go on the swings?” - he asked Seb and as soon as he heard the magic word, he started smiling and clapping. - “Alright, I take that as a yes. But just for a bit, okay? We have to get you to nursery after.” - he said smiling, hoping that Seb won't throw a tantrum when he tries to leave him there.
Aaron got Seb safely into the swing and started pushing it. It was one of his favorite things in the world, and Aaron loved to see him smile like that.
“Dadda.” - he said almost twisting himself out of the swing. He looked at Aaron, or rather behind him, but Aaron was so caught up in his own thoughts that he simply thought Seb was clearly asking him to push him higher, so he did. He didn't know that Robert saw them there and slowly started walking closer.
“Your Daddy is a right idiot.” - he said to the little boy. - “I mean, me.” - he clarified. - “I behaved like a di....well... really bad yesterday when your Dad just wanted to explain something really really good. He knows I want it... at least I hope he does because honestly, I really do. It's just... even if it's legally possible....what if something's gonna get in the way?” - he asked as he pushed Seb. He still didn't notice Robert who approached them quietly, listening in on the “conversation”. - “What if it's gonna happen again? We're gonna get excited, start planning for the future, even thinking about baby names, then she changes her mind, I can't go through that again. Even if this couple got all they've wanted in the end... it doesn't mean we're gonna find a surrogate like that as well. I wish I could tell Robert that it's all I want but....” - he sighed, before he heard a noise from behind, and turned around. That's when he saw Robert standing there with an apologetic look on his face. - “How much did you hear?” - he asked him.
“All of it.” - he said with a sad smile – “Not that I didn't know that already.”
“You did?”
“Of course I did! And if you didn't avoid me last night I would've told you” - he said to him - “I know you, Aaron. Just because I'm positive about this, it doesn't mean I don't have any fears. Of course I do.”
“But...”
“I just wanna see how this meeting goes, we don't have to decide anything, we just have to turn up, and let them talk. That's all.”
“I don't wanna get too excited if we....”
“I know.” - he said looking over at Seb. - “I thought you're gonna take him to nursery.” - he said because he sensed that Aaron wanted to change the subject.
“I will, there's still time.” - he shrugged.
“Okay, I'm... I'm gonna go...” - he said turning around.
“Wait.” - called out Aaron. Robert turned around immediately – “If you wanna come....”
“Really?”
“Yeah.” - he nodded as he took Seb out of the swings and let him run around a bit. - “I'm sorry for leaving like that... I just....”
“I know, it was a bit too much. I get that Aaron.” - said Robert as he stepped closer and stroked his arm.
“Dadda, up!” - said Seb as he grabbed Robert's leg, making him turning to him.
“You wanna sit on my shoulders?” - asked Robert. Of course, that's what he wanted. Robert was tall and the world got a whole new meaning from up above. Seb loved it.
“Up!!!!” - he said again jumping.
“Alright then, come on.” - smiled Robert as he picked him up. Aaron saw the utter happiness on his son's face and he had to chuckle at how adorable the whole scene looked. - “What?” - asked Robert when he caught Aaron staring.
“Nothing, I just love when you pick him up like that. It's his favorite thing right now.”
“I know. Not my favorite though.... because my back is killing me....”
“Because you let him sit on you and treat you like a donkey.” - laughed Aaron. That was true, ever since he saw it in a stupid cartoon, all Seb wanted to do was to get his dad on the ground and make him go round and round while he sits on his back. Like in a western film. It happened way too often, and Robert could never say no to Seb, but he started to think that maybe it was enough about Lucky Luke for a while.
“Dokey.” - smiled Seb.
“No, Seb, it's donkey. Say donkey.” - tried Aaron.
“Donnke.” - he laughed, clearly enjoying saying this word. Even if he said it wrong.
“Alright, I take it.” - said Aaron winking at him and Seb started kicking his feet..... right into Robert's collar bone.
“Oi mister!” - told him Robert. - “Stop it or I put you down.” - he warned the boy. Seb stopped immediately.
“He likes it up there.” - said Aaron as they headed towards the nursery. It was relatively close to their house, a ten minute walk.
“Aaron...” - started Robert.
“Alright.” - told him Aaron.
“What? Alright what?”
“Alright.... let's meet that couple tomorrow.”
“You sure?”
“Robert, I want more kids, I'm sure of that... it's just...”
“Everything else... I know.” - said Robert as he tightened his grip on Seb's hand – “Alright Seb, it's time to get back to the ground.”
“No!!” - they heard him protest.
“Come on Seb, Daddy's back is hurting.” - said Aaron.
“No!”
“Yes.” - said Aaron.
“No!” - smiled Seb, it was clearly a game at this point.
“No.” - replied Aaron, waiting for Seb's next move.
“Yes!” - he said and as soon as he did, Robert got him in the air before he put him down. - “No, no... up!”
“See, I tricked ya.” - laughed Aaron tapping his nose – “Tell you what, we're gonna go in there...” - he said pointing to the nursery - “...you're gonna play with some cool toys, then when we go home... and maybe... maybe you can sit on my shoulders. Okay?”
“No, Dadda.” - he pouted looking at Robert.
“Why won't you let Daddy Aaron take a turn ey? It's gonna be fun.” - said Robert.
“Fun?” - asked Seb.
“Yeah mate, I'm even better than Daddy Robert. I make the aeroplane noises and everything.” - he said nodding. Seb thought about it before he reached out his hand. Robert and Aaron just looked at each other surprised. - “It's a deal then.” - said Aaron shaking his little hand.
“Where did he learn that?” - whispered Robert.
“No idea.” - answered Aaron as they went inside.
“Robert.” - called out Aaron. They were in bed, just about to turn in for the night, when he sat up looking at his husband in the dimmed lights.
“Yeah? What?” - he asked softly as he turned to Aaron.
“About tomorrow...”
“If you changed your mind that's alright. Just let me call them in the morning.”
“No... it's not that.” - he said biting his lip. Robert let out a sigh of relief and Aaron tried not to smile at that.
“Then what?”
“If...let's.... let's say we give it a go....just let me finish.” - he said when he saw the smile plastered on Robert's face – “So, if we give it a go... I don't wanna rush into it.”
“No, course not.”
“We still have Seb's birthday in a bit, then Christmas...”
“Okay.”
“Maybe.... maybe we can start looking into it next year?” - said Aaron finally.
“Really?”
“If.... it goes well tomorrow. I'm not promising anything Robert. I just... I don't wanna get my hopes up. Not after last time.”
“Okay, I understand.”
“And if we're gonna do it we have to double-check everything... twice.” - he said, and he sounded so serious, still, Robert could only chuckle at him. - “So....?”
“Yeah, of course it's alright.”
“Plus we need to earn a bit more money...” - said Aaron thinking.
“That's sorted.”
“What?” - he asked surprised. - “How?”
“Jimmy called last week. They landed a major deal, and my share is... well... not gonna lie, it's pretty good.” - he grinned.
“You never said!”
“Because I knew I wanted that money for the surrogacy and you...”
“I was a prick.” - he interrupted him.
“No, you just... weren't ready to talk about it.”
“Not sure I'm 100% ready now.” - he admitted.
“We still have time to figure it out. It's just a meeting.” - he reminded Aaron.
“I know.”
“We can start to worry about the rest in the new year.” - he said and Aaron nodded. Robert just leaned forward and placed a soft kiss on his lips. It was unexpected.
“What was that for?”
“A thank you.”
“For what?”
“For trying to be as positive as you can be. I know it's hard. It's hard for me too. You're not the only one who can think about all sorts you know.”
“But you never talk about this Robert.”
“Yeah, because I'm trying to see the good side of things.”
“I'm trying to get there you know.”
“I know.” - he smiled – “Just see how tomorrow goes, yeah? Then we can start when we're ready.”
“That sounds good.”
“I think next year will be our lucky year.” - he yawned.
'God I hope you're right' thought Aaron before he kissed Robert's temple, closed his eyes, and started dreaming about their future, despite promising himself he wouldn't.
END OF PART ONE