Chapter Text
Katsuki stared at his house.
Yellow light shone through the windows; the walls were a calming shade, and a lemon tree swayed in the wind beside it.
By all accounts, it should have been a welcoming sight.
It was not.
“Come, your parents will be relived.” Cementoss beckoned him to the door.
Katsuki grit his teeth and ripped the door open. His eyes hurt from the sudden change in brightness.
“Katsuki!” him mom ran to him immediately, wrapping him in a hug. “How did you get kidnapped again? Don’t you have any sense?”
He swallowed. It was never different, with her.
He pushed out of her arms. “I’m fucking fine, thanks for asking. If you want to know what happened, you can ask him.” He jabbed his thumb behind him at Cementoss.
She squared her arms. “Don’t walk away from me, Katsuki! We’re not done talking!”
His dad looked like he was going to say something. Katsuki paused to see if he would.
He fucking didn’t.
Something settled on his chest. He gripped the handrail of the stairs. There was dust there, beneath his fingers.
“What’s there to talk about?! You’re just going to be angry at me for getting kidnapped like last time! Just leave me alone for once in my goddamn life!” Katsuki screamed, spinning around and storming up the stairs.
He didn’t care if Cementoss saw.
He ignited his sweat, burning off the dust. He slammed his door and threw himself on his bed.
His pillow was cold. He looked around his empty bedroom, filled with soft amber light.
There was something lonesome about it.
His old school books sat in a neat pile on his desk; his bed had been made, his bookcase long untouched.
Katsuki remembered the days when he would read books without end, devouring every word, sticking to the upside-down worlds inside the pages. The rules were always different in them, filled with adventure and excitement.
He remembered himself, maybe ten, paging through a book with a plucky, red-kneed protagonist. He had scoffed when he was finished, because it seemed awfully unrealistic, a boy with a friend who would come over to his house every day, and who knew everything about him- and was inseparable from him always.
Katsuki didn’t have that, then.
But he did now.
He scrawled an angry note, bold and messy.
(WENT TO THE DORMS. FUCK THIS.)
He stuck it on his bed, and shoved his window open.
Out he flew, into the starry night.
************************************
Katsuki took the bus to U.A..
He didn’t plan very well, in terms of absolutely everything.
He was tired, first of all. And freezing.
The villains didn’t supply him with a coat, and if they had, it would probably be ugly as hell, anyway.
Katsuki was slogging through the snow towards the dorm, setting off little explosions in his palms to keep warm. The rain was still falling, making it ten thousand times more miserable.
He didn’t want to think about his mom. He didn’t want to think about the villains, or how he still felt a haze of panic.
(weak)
(you are weak, Bakugo Katsuki)
He didn’t want to cry again.
Inside, he walked as quickly as possible to his room so he could pull of his wet socks. Oh wow, he was colder than he thought.
He grabbed clean clothes and took the warmest shower he could, the water practically burning his skin.
And.
Of course, he found himself standing outside Kirishima’s door. He gripped at his jacket, the one Ashido had given him, the one he had rolled his eyes at and shoved to the back of his closet.
(weak)
(can’t even open a door)
Katsuki sharply sucked in a breath through his nose.
He knocked.
It seemed less than a second before it was open. Kirishima stared at him for a moment, gaping.
Katsuki’s stomach filled with butterflies.
Kirishima tackled him into a hug, and Katsuki stumbled to keep upright. A wave of warmth washed over him.
He felt safe.
“Katsuki.” Kirishima half-whispered into his shoulder. Thunder went through his chest.
He didn’t let go. “I’m so, so glad you’re safe. I...” he tightened his grip, clutching Katsuki’s jacket between his fingers.
Something was rising in his lungs. He didn’t ever want to let go, and some old, ugly part of him sneered at the softness behind the feeling.
“You’re here. You’re safe.” Kirishima mumbled.
He was now. He swallowed and thought, thought back to the same question he always had... what do I want? Which he always answered by saying victory. First place, excellence.
Now, he could settle for this.
This softness, this safe... feeling, this warmth.
He could stay here, comfortable and right.
Then Kirishima pulled away and nervousness crashed back into the world. Just them, alone, in the corridor.
And then it REALLY hit him, I mean for maybe the first time. It was just them two. No one else, and Kirishima was still there, looking relived and bright. He was looking that way for him. Katsuki.
Kirishima was his best friend. On purpose.
Holy shit.
Kirishima stepped forward again, hands drifting over Katsuki’s skin, before settling to grab his chin, gently tugging it from left to right.
“Are you hurt?” Kirishima asked, and it came out dulcet and low. Worry was painted in his eyes, blood-red in the dark.
He tried to ignore the swarm of butterflies clinging to his throat. “No.”
Something blossomed there, and maybe it was the blood rushing to his face, but maybe it was cracks spreading through his wall.
It was crumbling.
“Fuck.” he blurted, because they were so close, too close, his face radiant and sleep-softened and dangerous.
So close.
Why not?
(because you could never have him)
(pull away, pull away, before you detonate something you can’t fix)
He swallowed, because he was so terribly, wonderfully close-
Without realizing it, his hands had migrated to hold his wrists, and he was sweating, but Kirishima didn’t seem to mind.
“You’re here.” Kirishima whispered again, mostly to himself. He looked radiant and golden. He grinned, his dimples flashing like sunspots.
There were about a million alarms going off in Katsuki’s head, ones he had set for himself, long past, which he finally, decisively ignored.
He surged forward, buoyant from the lightning shooting through his veins.
Oh shit, he was kissing Kirishima.
And, holy fuck, Kirishima was kissing him back.
It was quite possible that his heart had stopped, because all he could hear was a slow breath from the other boy, and then a noise of contentment.
Katsuki was on fire.
He had calculated wrong, so Kirishima was pressed against the doorframe.
He pushed his fingers into still half-dyed hair, tipped his head to the side- Katsuki felt like an actual nuke had gone off, like his chains were snapping, like the butterflies in his chest had decided to riot- all his breath all was gone, yet he pushed harder, like Kirishima himself was oxygen.
His teeth caught on Katsuki’s lip, and he instinctively pulled away.
Kirishima looked starstruck, his eyes wide. He was staring ahead like he had just seen a star go supernova.
“You kissed me.” he whispered, disbelief written on the lines of his forehead.
Katsuki grunted, only partly aware that his legs felt like Play-Dough. “Yeah.”
“Did you mean to do that?” he squeaked.
Katsuki felt like he was going to throw up.
“Of course I meant to do it, dumbass! I’ve been in love with you ever since you got all in my fucking face all the time about everything!” he spat.
There was a sudden quiet.
Katsuki’s stomach fell to his feet when he realized what he said. His hands were shaking, and were so goddamn sweaty, so he shoved them into his armpits and took a step back. He knew it wasn’t from the fucking cold.
Kirishima hadn’t moved, but his face had turned an alarming shade of red. He blinked, and his eyes went glassy. “You love me?”
Katsuki sneered.
“Nooo, wait, I’m kind of, I’m sort of pretty sure, I mean, ugh,” Kirishima scrambled, looking every direction except Katsuki’s face. “I’M IN LOVE WITH YOU AS WELL!”
Katsuki’s heart flipped.
He took a deep breath. “Yeah. I think. You’re....”
Kirishima was clearly struggling to get the words out. He looked strained.
“Really beautiful and intense and smart and cool! Okay! All right! I just said that out. Loud! Woo!”
Katsuki stepped forwards, eyes on his mouth.
Kirishima trailed off.
Katsuki halfway closed his eyes and placed his hands on Kirishima’s face.
This time, Katsuki smiled into the kiss. He pulled Kirishima against him, who looked giddy.
There was a rhythm to it, kissing. It felt astronomically better than he thought it would be, something new, heavy, and insistent settling in his stomach. Every shift in movement sent sparks through his skin... he couldn’t believe it, that Kirishima wanted him.
And yet here he was, mouth warm and occupied. Katsuki made a daring move and bit down on his lower lip.
It felt like biting a rock.
Katsuki yanked his head back in surprise. “What the fuck.”
Kirishima looked a mess, beet red and ruffled. His face had hardened.
Katsuki snickered. Kirishima looked apologetic.
They both burst out laughing.
“Fucking, you’re ridiculous, Eijirou-“
Kirishima reddened.
“You called me by my name.” he said, and that soft look was back again.
Katsuki shrugged. “You called me by mine.”
Kirishima smiled, and was probably going to lean in again, when footsteps echoed out from the corridor.
They turned, both redder than Katsuki would have liked. He felt a bit like a child who had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
Kaminari stood there, in Gudetama pajamas. He grinned. “Bakugo-kun!!! Oh my god, you’re safe!”
He ran over and bounced up and down for a second. “Hell yeah! Let’s wake up everyone else, come on!” He dashed away.
“Wait, I don’t-“ Katsuki called. Kaminari was long gone.
“Bitch’s gone. Okay.” he grumbled, turning back to Kirishima.
Kirishima smiled and took his hand. Katsuki tried to ignore his heart turning molten.
His thumb was taking the same path that it had when he had bleached Kirishima’s hair.
“Let’s go. I’m sure they’re eager to see you.” he said.
They went to the common room, and Kaminari came back with the squad.
“I texted the 1-A group chat in case they’re up! But I had to get these guys out here... they weren’t sleeping.” he explained, plopping down on the couch.
Mina ran to hug him, and for once, Katsuki let her. Sero did too, actually. Katsuki stood rather stiffly, but still felt good.
“How did you get here? I figured they would bring you right to your parents...” Ashido mumbled.
“Didn’t want to stick around. Don’t like the hag’s attitude.” he answered bluntly.
Kirishima gave him a understanding look. He was the one that knew the most about Katsuki’s home situation (besides Izuku).
Sero let go. “So, they don’t know you came back?”
He shrugged. “I left a note. It’s fine.” it dawned on him that his voice sounded like sand being run through a wood chipper.
Ashido smiled big. “You sound tired. Maybe you should get some sleep.”
He paused.
He didn’t want to be alone.
Besides, there was something so comforting about the light streaming in through the windows, leaving striped shadows on the floor. They spread out over Kaminari’s hair and spilled over the couch, familiar and calm.
He sat down. “Not yet.”
Kirishima sat next to him and squeezed his hand.
Suddenly, Izuku dashed into the room.
“For once, I’m glad I have insomnia! Kacchan, you’re back!” he shouted, gleefully.
Katsuki watched him excitedly make his way to the couches. Izuku hugged him too. And of course Izuku was happy to see him... it was in his nature. The boy beamed, the freckles on his cheeks dancing up with it.
Katsuki wasn’t guilty, anymore, or at least it wasn’t lying on the surface; if he thought about the bullying, his stomach sank, but for now, he could enjoy Izuku’s company without his own lungs eating his chest alive, or a knife twisting in his ribs.
“Yeah.” he muttered gruffly. He caught Kirishima’s- Eijirou’s- surprise out of the corner of his eye, eyebrows drawn up, like he was saying are you friends now? when did this happen? And Katsuki thought to himself, I didn’t think it ever would, but it did.
And thank God, or Jesus, or the fucking Virgin Mary or whatever, because something within him felt like he and Izuku were two sides of the same coin; the leaders of a new generation of heroes. Or maybe that was just him being a pretentious asshole.
And besides that, he couldn’t be happier to have genuine friends.
The people he knew in middle school didn’t care about him- they were only chasing the power that came along with him, gunpowder and dynamite, reputation and popularity.
Katsuki waited for Izuku to sit down before straightening in his seat and looking around at everyone. He was buzzing with adrenaline, all the sudden, and he took a sharp breath.
“Listen, I’m gonna say this ‘cause I’m not a fucking pussy, okay?” he stood up.
Everyone stared. He sweated.
“I... really care about you shitheads. Don’t be gettin’ big heads about it, though.”
He stood there. Swallowed. Sat down.
“Aww! Blasty!” Ashido squealed.
“That was so heartfelt! Give me another hug, come here-“ Kaminari opened his arms and leaned over the coffee table.
“Fuck off!” Katsuki snarled, shoving his arms away. Kaminari responded by pushing his arms back and trying again.
They ended up tussling on the couch. Kirishima was laughing and cheering Kaminari on.
“Bakugooooo.....” groaned Kaminari from where Katsuki had pinned him.
“S’ what you deserve.” he grunted.
Caught off guard, Katsuki was thrown backward by Sero hugging him this time.
Curses.
“Come on, guys, if you give Bakugo-kun too much love at once, he might get all mushy and admit he LIKES hugs.” Ashido chirped.
Katsuki admitted defeat, lying under a jumble of limbs. And then he realized, warmth unfolding in his chest in tandem with the actual body heat of his friends, that no one was afraid to hug him anymore.
Nobody cared that he could explode.
Nobody cared that he was Katsuki.
There was a loud sniff. Everybody looked up.
Izuku was crying, of course he was. The damn nerd joined the pile. His bushy hair tickled Katsuki’s nose.
“I love you guys...” he babbled, probably getting snot all over the couch.
Katsuki had always been a bit touch-starved, so he was currently melting where he lay. Eijirou got closer, best he could, leaning over his face and kissing Katsuki’s forehead.
He had so many feelings swirling around in his gut, like a fuckin’ sniveling teenager was expected to have. He felt ridiculous.
He felt happy.