Chapter Text
With the night so clear, and from their vantage point high above the lights of Lebanon, the stars are laid out like a tapestry above them. Ursa Major is to their right, and despite knowing it 80 light years away from Earth, to Castiel it feels a lot closer tonight. Using it to find the star Arcturus—the bear keeper—in the constellation of the Herdsman, Castiel stares at the star for a long time, trying to draw strength from its light and calm his nerves.
“Cas? Hey, Cas, you listening?”
Startled, Castiel flinches strongly enough that it makes Dean, who had been dozing with his head on Castiel’s shoulder, grumble and try to move even closer.
Sam is standing on the opposite side of the fire in front of which Castiel and Dean have made themselves comfortable sitting on the logs that are set up in a circle around it. The fireplace is a recent addition to their home that they’ve all built together not far from the bunker’s entrance where it’s sheltered by a handful of trees.
His breath fogging in the cold air, Sam is offering Castiel a gentle smile. “Stargazing?”
The blanket that Dean had wrapped around himself in addition to the thick coat he’s wearing has slipped off his shoulders a little. “It’s a beautiful night,” Castiel answers, fussing with the blanket and tucking it back in place.
If Sam catches his evasive tone, he doesn’t let it show. Pointing a thumb behind himself, he asks, “We’re done setting up the fireworks. You guys sure you wanna stay up here?”
Without lifting his head, Dean mumbles his answer into Castiel’s shoulder.
“We’re good here,” Castiel translates, wrapping an arm around Dean’s back.
Sam nods, probably having expected that answer. The tremble in Dean’s hands might not be visible right now with how thoroughly he’s wrapped up in thick winter clothes, but it’s impossible to miss how much his recent episode has drained him. This morning was the first time in two days that he's been able to leave their room for longer than trips to the bathroom, and he's still unsteady on his feet and sensitive to light and noise.
Checking his watch, Sam says, “Almost time. I better get back.” Then he turns and makes his way through the snow back down the hill, where Jack and Eileen and the fireworks are waiting.
“You could j-j-join ‘em,” Dean offers, not for the first time, voice barely louder than the crackling of the fire in front of them. “‘S more fun th-th-than just w-w-watchin’.”
Castiel shakes his head.
“I don’t mind, Dean.”
“Cas—”
“I don’t want you sitting here alone while we’re having fun.”
Lifting his head off Castiel’s shoulder, Dean offers him a lopsided smirk.
“A-a-anglin’ for a New Year’s k-k-kiss, huh?”
Castiel consults his phone. “In two minutes and twenty-three seconds, yes.”
Dean snorts and then chuckles, shaking his head, his expression radiating fondness. Swaddled in thick clothing, hair mussed, shadows of exhaustion under his eyes that are crinkling in the corners, he is radiant. His throat and chest tight with emotion, Castiel can’t help staring at him.
“Someth-th-thin’ o-o-on my face?” Dean asks, frowning in confusion when he notices, his breath fogging in front of his face.
There’s a smudge of chocolate at the corner of his mouth, from the s’mores they had earlier. Reaching out, Castiel rubs it away with his thumb. Dean playfully tries to chase after it to bite it, pouting when Castiel evades him.
“Tease,” Dean mock-complains, and then there’s yelling, and they both look down the hill just in time to see the first fireworks go off. Castiel barely has time to admire the golden and red sparks raining down before he’s grabbed by the tie and Dean is pressing their mouths together.
The kiss gentles quickly after the initial rush and then merges into a second even softer one. Dean's lips are a little cold but the inside of his mouth is warm and tastes like s'mores. There’s a lovely pink blush on Dean's cheeks when he draws back from their kiss, and his smile is somehow smug and shy at the same time. It falters a little with whatever Castiel’s face is doing.
“Dude, you okay? You b-b-been k-k-kinda quiet a-a-all day. Something w-w-wrong?”
“No, I—” His voice is hoarse. Clearing his throat and mustering up his courage, he starts again. “There’s something I’ve been meaning to give you. At first I wanted to wait for your birthday, but then I felt it might be more appropriate for tonight. To—to start the new year with a promise.”
Clumsily, he reaches inside the inner pocket of his coat and pulls out the small satchel he's been carrying around with him for days now.
"I know we've talked about it before but not in a while, so I hope it's alright with you that I—dammit!"
Fumbling the satchel, he's dropped it into the snow. He picks it up and grumpily dusts the snow off it.
He wanted to do this right.
"Cas—" Dean sounds bewildered and a little concerned.
"I wanted to do this right, I—" He blows out a breath, frustrated with himself. "I don't know why I'm nervous."
He's holding onto the little satchel tightly, but his grip relaxes when Dean, having taken off one glove, gently wraps the fingers of one hand around his wrist. "Cas. 'S j-j-just me."
Castiel should make sure Dean stays warm and puts his glove back on. But first—
"I, um." He still doesn't know what to say, so he gently takes Dean's hand in his, reaches inside the satchel and puts one of the rings inside on Dean’s finger. The second, slightly wider ring, he places on Dean's palm. And then he lets go off his hand and draws back.
Dean has gone completely still. He's staring at the rings, his eyes wide and vulnerable, the tremble in his hand even worse than before.
"Dean? Are they—was this not right?"
Dean is so quiet, and that's usually a sign that something is wrong. Castiel is getting ready to apologize for presuming when Dean, clumsily, takes his other glove off. Without meeting Castiel’s eyes, Dean takes ahold of Castiel’s hand and puts the second ring on his finger. And then he's drawing Castiel into a tight, clinging hug.
"You d-d-dumbass," Dean says from where he's pressing the side of his face against Castiel's, his voice affectionate and watery. From this close, Castiel can hear the hitch in his breath.
Finally remembering that he has arms, Castiel wraps them around Dean in return and rubs a hand over his back.
Down the hill, he can hear the noises of Sam and Jack and Eileen engaged in a snow fight, and further away the fireworks in the city. All of it fades into the background until there's just the soft crackling of the fire, and Dean's heart beating against his, and the stars above them, silent but bright.