Chapter Text
Chapter 4:
"I haven't had that much fun since…" Clara trailed off, sending a wistful look in the Doctor's direction. She walked forward running a hand on the control panel. "It's a good look," she said directing the comment to the Tardis. "A fan of crystals this time around?"
"Better'n bow ties," the Doctor scoffed, trying to hide how unnerved she was.
"I thought you said they were cool," Clara smirked. It was a vision, familiar, maddening, perfect, a look that made the Doctor want to grab her and show her all of time and space. Clara shrugged. "At least you lost your fascination with the guitar," she muttered
"Guitar?" Ryan jumped in, interested.
"And you know how to play, since when?" Yaz asked with a raised eyebrow. She shot a worried look at the Doctor, Graham mirroring her concern. Never could sneak anything passed the fam. Frustrating, that.
"I could learn," Ryan said, mind fully taken by the idea.
The Doctor studied her new passenger. She would remember her. She wouldn't. She would. She couldn't. There was something there at the edge of… a note, or maybe a song? Definitely tune like.
"Who are you?" She asked tired of wallowing in denial, "Why don't I know you? I know all of my companions. Why does my Tardis like you? Why do I have this blasted song in my head? And why do I suddenly have an overwhelming need to find an electric guitar?" She turned accusing eyes on the admittedly cute, frustratingly impossible Clara.
"I have one of those faces," she dimpled. A buzz shot up the Doctor's spine. They could go to the Picasso Planet and plan a heist, visit the Libraries of Alejandria and race cloudhoppers through the aisles. Oh, there was a new fountain in 1470 Fontania. They could go fill it with… No, come on Doctor, focus.
"No, I mean yes, maybe," she said pacing from one crystal to another. "I don't know you. I know I don't know you, but I do."
"Maybe I'm a ghost?" Clara said, eyes sparkling, "Oh, that would be cool. Could walk through walls and the like. Very useful in a pinch." She nodded with the confidence of a sage.
"Or maybe," Yaz cut in, "you could tell us who you really are and stop avoidin' the question."
"I like her," Clara's smile widened, "Good choice, Doc. If you're so keen on an introduction, how about your names, then? Come on, let's have 'em."
"Graham, Ryan, Yaz," Graham said with a curt point to each. "Now, go on. Like Yaz was sayin' stop yankin' us about."
Clara turned to the Doctor. "And who are they, new companions?" She asked, a curious glint lighting her eyes.
"My fam," the Doctor answered, feeling oddly protective of her small band.
"Good," Clara said, "It's only fair. You got to embarrass me in front of mine." She turned to the others. "Did he ever tell you- er- she ever tell you, diggin' the new look, by the way," she winked in the Doctor's direction, "about the time she-,"
"Oy," the Doctor interrupted. Who knew what stories Clara could drag out, "No fair telling embarrassing stories until we get a name."
"A name, any name?" Clara quipped.
"Your name," Ryan said.
"Ah, but a rose by any other doth smell as sweet, or so I'm told."
"Enough," Yaz said, voice firm, commanding, the one the Doctor saw her using on occasion when she checked up during her probationary rounds. "What is your name?"
Clara's quippy indifference faltered, her shoulders slumping the barest amount. "Clara," she said, "I'm Clara Oswald."
"And you know the Doctor?" Yaz continued the interrogation. "You were her companion?"
The Doctor stopped pacing, leaning forward to hear the answer. Clara gave a sharp, blink-and-you'll-miss-it, nod. The pacing restarted. The Doctor's speed increased as her fingers drummed a beat on her leg.
"Why don't she remember you?" Ryan asked following Yaz's lead. The drumming increased as Clara stayed stubbornly silent.
The Doctor's footsteps tinked off the metal floor, filling the silence. She spun on her heel to face them.
"Why? Yes, why, Ryan good question, great question. Why wouldn't I remember a former companion, a former friend? You know me," she took a few steps closer to Clara, "You're clever. I can see that you're clever, but you're making the mistake clever people frequently make… No, wait," she interrupted herself spinning away from the group. "That's wrong. This is wrong. Backward or… something." She squeezed her eyes shut searching for memories that weren't there.
The fam, Yaz, Ryan, and Graham, flashed through her mind first, then Bill, then… Amy, Rory, River… Rose. Where were they now? All because of her. Why wouldn't she remember a clever, clever companion?
"What did I do?"
"Pardon?" Clara's voice rang behind her.
"You made me forget." The Doctor meant it as a question, but it came out a statement, the truth of it echoing in her head. "What did I do?" She asked turning back to face her old companion and whatever condemnation she earned. "What was so bad you wanted to wipe every last trace of yourself from my mind?"
Clara's mouth parted the slightest amount, eyes misting at the question. Pain lined her face, a memory etched in her skin. Arrogance and flippancy melted away, her mask slipping.
"Nothing," she said. "You didn't do anything. It's just… the way it had to be… has to be."
The Doctor stared at her. "But you're impossible. You're my impossible girl," she said it, and it sounded right, like the song in her head. "Your heartbeat, am I the reason it's missing? Is that why?"
Clara let out a watery laugh, refusing to let a single tear fall. "Of course, not," she forced a smile on her face, "You have plenty of hearts for the both of us." She took a step forward, looking unsure for the first time. The Doctor saw the second she made up her mind. "Does this version like hugs?" Clara didn't wait for an answer, burying herself in the Doctor's arms.
The Doctor held tight, not wanting to let go, not understanding why. It was relief. It was fear, like holding a wisp of smoke, knowing it would disappear the moment she released it.
"I think I do." She mumbled into Clara's hair. The girl shook in her arms, suppressed emotion making itself known.
Clara stepped back too soon. The Doctor's arms felt empty and awkward by her sides. She sent a bewildered look toward Graham. He seemed as lost a she was. Ryan and Yaz weren't any better.
"I think it's time to be going now, Doctor," Clara said, a sad smile painting her lips. She snapped her fingers, the Tardis doors opening on command. "If you're ever in trouble, look for Me."
"Wait," the Doctor called, "but where are you going?"
Clara paused at the door. "Somewhere I'm supposed to be." She looked back a mischievous glint lighting her eye. "The long way around." Then she was gone. Smoke dispersing in the sky.
The Doctor exchanged a look with her fam, lost, looking for the right move. Yaz sent her an exasperated smile, tilting her head toward the door. Taking her cue the Doctor ran to it. She stuck her head out, unsure what to say, but needing to try.
An empty road stared back, nothing but sand and a closed diner in view. Her shoulders slumped. She pulled back, closing the door behind her. The latch clicked.
"Don't worry, Doc," Graham said resting a hand on her shoulder, "We'll look for her. She can't have gone far."
Hope kindled under her skin. "You liked her?" The Doctor asked. "One more for the fam?"
"You liked her," Yaz said, "that's what counts." Ryan nudged her with an elbow. "Yeah, we liked her."
"She can't have gone far, right? I mean, she said to look for her if we're in trouble. It'll be what, another day before that happens?" Ryan said, tricking a laugh out of them.
"Oh, Ooooh," the Doctor said spinning toward the control panel, "she didn't mean me, she meant Me. Capital letter! It's been forever, and I mean that literally, but she'll be happy to see me… maybe… probably." She turned to her fam with a smile, adrenaline pumping with a new mission. "You're going to love this."
The Doctor pulled the lever.
~Fin~