Chapter Text
Okay, this time there really was a legitimate reason to transform, Usagi swore !
Really she was doing her job as the Pretty Guardian of Love and Justice: Sailor Moon. But of course, since when have the bad guys ever made her job easy?
Usagi didn’t mean to end up in this situation. But here she was…
“Is something the matter... Ma’am?” Usagi stood frozen in place, staring out at the group of university students who sat in one of the private study rooms in the library, one leg still up in the air from where she kicked open the doors.
Whoops...
Let’s rewind a bit, first. You see, Usagi was chasing down some random evil energy, as one does when you’re Sailor Moon, but it got away after mingling into a large crowd of people getting off a bus stop right in front of a university. Mamoru’s university.
And contradictory to what some people may believe, Usagi’s first thought was in fact a very logical one: Call Mamoru for help, since he was y’know there .
But then Usagi remembered that Mamoru said he had a super important lab thing for a midterm on biomolecular something-or-other. And, Usagi didn’t want to disturb him. Usagi knew that she tended to whine and plead and distract Mamoru enough already. So, she would make sure that dark energy didn’t disrupt Mamoru no matter what!
But...Sailor Moon suddenly busting down the doors in search of some evil monster was definitely going to be disruptive.
Okay, no problem. That just means Usagi would do this lowkey , no Tuxedo Mask or Sailor Senshi for back up.
She’d need a disguise, of course. And Usagi paused, leaning against the brick wall she was hiding behind, twirling the Disguise Pen in her hand as she pondered over exactly what kind of disguise would let her enter the building without drawing too much attention to herself but also make sure no one would question or stop her if things went south.
“I got it!” Usagi cheered, eyes lighting up as she called out the words to transform.
And after some A+ snooping, chasing down the monster, and overall badassery... Usagi ended up kicking open the doors to a quiet study room, full of about half a dozen startled university students. As Usagi looked over the table full of loose papers, textbooks, and half-finished Americanos, the room was overcome with a thick, awkward silence.
“Is something the matter... Ma’am?” One of the students asked.
All eyes were on her and she briefly glanced down at her outfit, swallowing nervously.
She eyed the pair of dark, stylish combat boots, the grey short-shorts that put her slim, pale legs on full display, the white tank top underneath a slightly loose grey coat that matched her bottoms. Usagi brushed back a lock of ash grey, straight hair, her normal buns having been traded for a slick city-girl look.
It was beginning to dawn on Usagi that maybe this wasn’t the most inconspicuous disguise she could have chosen. Yeah, in retrospect asking the Disguise Pen to turn her into a mega hot detective lady was maybe not the best route to go down, if the desire-filled gazes some of the room occupants were giving her was any indication.
But, there was no way she could back down now. Tsukino Usagi was no quitter, after all.
“No one move!” Usagi shouted, pushing her coat back to reveal a gun and golden badge. The room of students suddenly looked a lot more awake and moderately less sexually aroused, at least.
“W-what’s going on?” A boy that sat across near the front asked, eyes now on the gun strapped to her waist instead of her bare legs. “Who are you?”
“I’m Detective…” What’s a good fake detective name??? Quick, think of something cool! “Detective Quinn!” Okay, so Harley Quinn wasn’t technically a good guy but she was still cool! And they shared a resemblance, sorta. Blonde, fun, and always getting into giant messes, apparently.
“Is she a foreigner?” a girl near the front whispered.
“She sure is dressed like one…” someone else whispered back.
“Anyway!” Usagi cleared her throat, “I’m here from Major Crimes because…” She was sure the dark energy fled into this room... but where? Usagi scanned the room, not finding anything out of the ordinary. “...Because…” There! A blanket of darkness moving to the large window on the other side of the room.
Usagi wasted no time, jumping up onto the table in the middle of the room, doing her best not to step on anybody’s notes or spill any coffee. However, in the couple seconds it took her to reach the window, the darkness vanished!
Did it escape out through the window? No way, there was a bright, sunny courtyard out there; it’d have nowhere to hide. Which means, it was still in here. Somewhere.
Usagi turned around, eyes scanning the corners, ignoring the anxious whispering and stares from the group in front of her.
“Maybe we should call campus security?”
“She’s had a gun and badge though. She must be legit, right?”
“You just think she’s pretty…”
Usagi walked around the room again, taking slow and careful steps as she searched for the dark energy. But nothing seemed out of place. Where could it have gone? Did she let it escape again?
Unless...Usagi slowly turned around to face the nervous-looking group of university students still frozen in their seats.
Unless...it was hiding in one of the students!
Usagi eyed each of them carefully, not noticing anything telling right away.
“Fine,” Usagi sighed, “we’ll have to do this the hard way huh?” Usagi reached for her gun, pulling it out of the holster.
“W-what are you—”
BANG!
A series of cries and startled yelps erupted in the room, the students covered their heads and ducking down. All except one of them.
Usagi smirked, lowering the gun from where it was pointed at the ceiling. It wasn’t a real gun, obviously.
“Gotcha,” Usagi taunted, aiming the gun at the boy closest to her, the one who hardly flinched at the sound of the blank firing. Usagi noted the slightly vacant look in his eyes, the same as anyone who became a host for dark energy.
But...she was at a bit of a standstill...She needed to transform back to cleanse the dark energy, but that’d waste a precious few seconds. The darkness could disappear again or even take full control of the body and hurt the other civilians.
Usagi needed to act quickly!
Her eyes flicked towards the gun in her hand... well this will do, Silver Crystal I’m counting on you!
“ Starlight Honeymoon Therapy BANG! ” Usagi cried out with passion, pulling the trigger at her target. With a burst of pink light, a sparkling bullet hit the possessed boy’s chest, right where his heart was, and a fluffy heart-shaped cloud spouted into the air.
Years of practice at arcade shooting games was bound to pay off eventually!
The boy’s head fell down onto the table gently and more shouts erupted from the room. Usagi calmly and confidently strode up to the boy, lifting up his head to check his eyes.
“Are you alright?” She asked him softly. The boy looked up, a confused and startled expression forming on his face. He gave Usagi a once over, the proud glint in her eyes, the heavy-duty boots, the shorts, the gun …
“Marry me,” He sighed dreamily.
“Get some rest,” Usagi patted the boy on the shoulder, tucking her gun away. She spun around on her heels, ready to leave.
“What the hell just happened!?” A girl asked, bolting upwards to stand.
“Uhh…” Usagi racked her brain for a plausible excuse, “That was a...special presentation! The station sent me here to teach you guys to...not do drugs,” Usagi nodded, plastering what she hoped was a convincing and reassuring smile onto her face. “Yep, drugs... are bad for you. And they mess with your mind and make you see all sorts of crazy things. So, don’t do them…” Usagi gave the group two thumbs up and a nervous smile before turning around and dashing out of the room.
Usagi turned around the corner, her pace slowing down finally as she stopped in front of the silver doors of the elevator. Usagi proudly congratulated herself for a job well done in her mind, grinning happily as the elevator doors slowly opened. The evil was eradicated and she did it all on her own, without disturbing Mamoru. Now she could go home, eat a bunch of food, and catch up on some anime—
!!!
Uh-oh. She should have known this day wouldn’t have just ended so smoothly, no way she could just wrap everything up in a pretty bow and call it a day. Usagi suppressed the urge to cry and scream as she awkwardly stepped into the elevator, doing her best to avoid eye contact with the one person she was hoping not to run into today.
Mamoru, the blessed introvert he was, hardly paid Usagi any attention, too busy staring at the bright blue light of his phone.
This was fine. She was in disguise and Mamoru had no reason to think Usagi would be here of all places. All she had to do was make it to the ground floor in peace and then hop onto the first bus away from here.
Easy peasy, lemon squeezy.
Usagi still couldn’t help but sneak a sly glance at Mamoru from the corner of her eye. His hair was slightly ruffled, probably because he kept running his hand through it like he always did when he was tired. He was dressed simply in jeans and a half-tucked black sweater, perfect for the cool spring weather. He was typing some out on his phone with one hand, the other hand readjusted the strap of his bag.
Usagi absentmindedly wondered if he was texting someone when a soft ping! Came from her coat pocket.
Usagi’s eyes widened as she fumbled to grab her phone, turning away so Mamoru wouldn’t see the familiar pink case and bunny charm hanging off.
Ugh, stupid Disguise Pen, you couldn’t even disguise her phone while you were at it?
It was a text, from Mamoru obviously, asking if she ate dinner already.
Oops, Usagi hadn’t realized it had gotten so late already. Damn, chasing dark energy really does make time fly!
Usagi was in the middle of typing out a response when her stomach audibly growled. Usagi closed her eyes, wincing a little, not having the face to glance at Mamoru to see if he noticed.
Betrayed by her own organs, for shame.
Usagi’s thumbs twitched a little as she finished her response, switching her phone to silent while she was at it.
Not yet! I was going to have katsudon! And send. Usagi leaned her head against the cool metal on the elevator wall, rubbing her stomach slightly. Katsudon did sound really nice right about now.
Her pork cutlet daydreams were cut short when the elevator suddenly came to a halt, the doors slowly opening. Usagi’s eyes flicked upwards to the 5th Floor flashing above the doors. A group of people shuffled in and Usagi moved over, the small of her back pressed against the metal rod in the elevator.
And , just her luck (because when had the universe ever given Tsukino Usagi a break??), Mamoru somehow ended up pressed right next to her as the elevator became more and more packed.
Can’t you damn people use the stairs!?
Mamoru mumbled an apology when he accidentally brushed against her arm and Usagi just smiled awkwardly before turning her face downwards, hoping he wouldn’t look at her for any time longer.
“Hey, did you hear?” One of the new occupants asked in a hushed tone, even though everything could be heard clearly within the compact elevator. “People are saying something crazy went down on the 8th floor.”
“Yeah, some third years were saying some psycho lady with a gun suddenly burst into the study room!”
“What happened?”
“They said she burst in, ran around while yelling a bunch of nonsense. And then she shot one of them! Except there was no bullet, just some freaky lightshow!”
“No way! They’re probably just playing a prank.”
“No, for real! Yeah, people saw some chick with silvery hair running down the halls earlier too. Apparently, she was mega hot too.”
“Really?”
“A guy I have philosophy with said he saw her and she was swearing these sexy boots and shorts and had a freaking gun.”
Usagi shifted inwards, letting her hair fall into her face, but she could still feel Mamoru eyeing her suspiciously, eyes flitting from her grey-ish hair to the chunky black boots she wore.
The elevator doors opened again, stopping on Floor 2 and the chatty people streamed out, leaving Usagi alone with Mamoru once again.
Unfortunately, the second the elevator doors closed Mamoru jabbed the stop button before turning to face Usagi, arms crossed and deep blue eyes watching her like a hawk.
“Who are you?” He asked, leaning in closer, “There’s something off about you, I can feel it.”
Stupid psychometric, empathic boyfriend.
Usagi laughed nervously, hands twirling around a strand of ash-grey hair.
Alright, here are your options Tsukino: A) you come clean and then get lectured by Mamoru about safety and calling for help and maintaining a low-profile blah blah blah , or B) you keep lying and get yourself out of this situation...somehow…
Yeah, option B didn’t look like it had a very high success rate, especially when Mamoru’s piercing eyes were making it so hard to think.
Come clean or lie, come clean or lie? Usagi’s mind panicked, trying to come up with the best solution, There’s no way you can lie your way out of this one but I reaaaallly don’t want to sit there while Mamoru chastises me…
Finally, she took a deep breath and decided there really was no need to live life in binaries. Not when you could do both!
In one quick motion, Usagi darted forward and pinned Mamoru up against the elevator wall in a kabedon-esque position, and pressed her lips against his.
And wow , these boots gave her a really nice height boost.
“Mmhhm!” Mamoru pushed her away after the shock dissipated.
“What are you—”
“Mamo- chan ! You can’t even tell when your own girlfriend kisses you?” Usagi pouted teasingly, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Mamoru blinked at her, lashes fluttering softly like butterfly wings, “Usa…?”
“Duh!” Usagi laughed, pressing another kiss against Mamoru’s mouth and this time he reciprocated.
“What are you doing—”
“Shh…” Usagi hushed him when they broke apart, kissing him softly again, running her fingers through Mamoru’s hair and smirking when she felt him shiver a little.
“...your gun is stabbing my hip bone,” Mamoru said, voice slightly hoarse.
“Oh,” Usagi finally took a step back, pulling her coat back to examine the gun strapped in snugly in its holster, “Well, I don’t need this silly thing anymore,” Usagi let her disguise melt away and the sexy Detective Quinn disappeared, leaving Sailor Moon in her place.
Usagi went back to kissing Mamoru only for him to push her away after a few seconds, “You probably shouldn’t be wearing that either,” he looked down at her sailor fuku.
“Huh? Oh, right,” Usagi clasped her brooch letting that transformation fall away too. And then it was finally just Tsukino Usagi, dressed in a simple pair of light-wash jeans and a white t-shirt, long blonde hair falling over her shoulder, as she made out with her boyfriend in an elevator.
The lecture came a lot sooner than Usagi expected, especially since she did a pretty damn good job of distracting Mamoru in the elevator.
She pouted, shovelling for katsudon into her mouth as Mamoru continued to admonish her, the two of them sitting on his balcony under the starry night sky.
“Okay,” Usagi cut in eventually, waving her chopsticks to emphasize her point, “but the gun attack was so cool! My aim is really good, I was all like ‘Gotcha!’ and then bam! ” Usagi mimed the action, setting her chopsticks down and making a finger gun with both hands and shooting it at Mamoru with a wink, “It was super hot, trust me.”
“...that’s not relevant,” Mamoru said after a moment.
“You’re imagining it, aren’t you?”
“ No, I’m not,” Mamoru muttered, taking a sip of his water.
“You should congratulate me, I did a good job! I figured everything out on my own. I was like a sexier version of Batman.”
“Batman doesn’t use a gun.”
“Maybe,” Usagi continued anyway, “I should try a rifle next. Or a sword! What do you think, Mamo-chan?” Usagi leaned on her elbows, smiling mischievously, “What would look hotter with the mini skirt and thigh highs?”
“Eat your katsudon,” Mamoru shoved a piece of pork into Usagi’s mouth, trying his best to fight off the pink flush spreading across his cheekbones.
But of course, analyzing a blushing Mamoru was Detective Usagi’s specialty and in her very professional, very official opinion a Mamoru sitting underneath the pale moonlight, with windswept hair and glowing pink blush covering his cheeks and ears, was one of the prettiest sights in the world.