Chapter Text
Stiles wakes up to the shifting lights that flash on his face, he opens his eyes to see Derek pulling on his jeans. Derek hasn’t noticed that he has woken up. Stiles feels his heart sink as he realizes that it’s only 5:30am, he’s just thankful his father is pulling double shifts and so won’t be back home until evening. As Derek rises from the bed after putting his shirt on, Stiles reaches out and catches his hand. Stiles’ heart picks up speed... he hadn’t meant to grab him, but his heart hurts so much that his body reacted without him realizing.
— - —
Derek turns to Stiles, and sees the uncertainty and sadness in his eyes.
“P-Please stay.” Stiles says, voice breaking.
Derek can feel his erratic heartbeat through their clasped hands.
“Don’t leave me alone.” Stiles finishes, eyes downcast and his hand losing grip as fear of rejection builds up.
Wordlessly, Derek slips back into the bed, laying besides Stiles once more. Stiles puts his hands on his stomach, laying on his back, facing the ceiling and closes his eyes to try to fall back asleep. He doesn’t want to see any resentment from Derek. He wishes he didn’t speak.
Derek settles in and turns his face to Stiles, he sees him swallow with difficulty, can still hear his heart beat erratically, and sees the pain in his eyes as he blinks. Derek opens his mouth to try to comfort Stiles but nothing comes out. Stiles closes his eyes fully in an attempt to fall back to sleep.
Derek watches Stiles’ face relax after a few minutes and hears the slow rhythmic beating of his slumbering heart. Once the silent snores start, signaling his deep sleep, Derek slowly moves, attempting to continue what he tried to do earlier. He successfully manages to get off the bed and exit the room without waking Stiles.
— - —
Stiles snuggles into the soft pillow he’s hugging, his hand reaches out and connects to the cold bedsheet. He blinks his eyes open to see himself hugging the spare pillow that Derek had laid on and the other side of the bed empty. He breathes in the fading scent of Derek from the pillow, before dragging himself out of bed.
What did you expect. He’s never stayed before. Did you really think he would stay just because you asked?
Stiles shakes the condescending voice from his mind. No matter, he’s used to being alone.
He walks down the stairs with heavy steps. His heart feels as if it cemented and is weighing down on his chest and in his feet. His body feels heavy.
He stops in shock as he enters the kitchen. He has difficulty swallowing again, like something is lodged in his throat. His heart starts beating heavily behind his ribs, beating so hard he fears it will break through his chest.
Derek sets the two freshly poured coffee cups down, and walks to Stiles in concern.
When the tears start to build up and slowly fall down his face, Derek reaches up and gently brushes them away. He cradles Stiles’ face between his hands gently, and kisses Stiles gently. Stiles closes his eyes as he returns the kiss and relishes in the moment. Wanting to memorize this in his mind and his heart before it ends. When Derek pulls back to let Stiles breathe, he rests their foreheads together as they both continue to bask in the moment.
“I’m sorry.” Derek apologizes, voice rough and broken.
“I never meant to hurt you. I feared that I would be a hindrance should you end up finding someone better whilst we were together. I never wanted to make you unhappy. I was just so caught up on believing I wouldn’t have been enough for you, that you would find someone better. I didn’t realize you propositioned me because you feared I wouldn’t feel the same. I do love you, Stiles. I love you so much and I hate that I was too scared to just tell you when you first came to me with that proposition. I could’ve saved you the pain I caused.” Derek kisses Stiles’s forehead and each of his cheeks, kissing away the tears.
“I love you.” Derek repeats, pulling back so Stiles meets his eyes.
“I love you. I want to hold your hand everyday, I want to to hug you to feel our hearts beat together, I want to hold you body close to mine as we cuddle in bed so I can chase away your fears. And I want to kiss you to make you feel my love, and I want to make you smile everyday.”
Stiles’s tears have stopped. His eyes glow with warmth, he’s happy because even without the werewolf hearing to detect heartbeats, he sees the truth and openness of Derek’s soul in his eyes.
“I wasn’t planning on leaving, the first time you woke up this morning, I was planning on making the coffee and some breakfast for you. I’m sorry I made you think otherwise.” Derek says.
“I’m sorry I didn’t say anything too. We’re both at fault. But we were both too scared. I’m sure I also hurt you when I propositioned you. I don’t want you for your body, I don’t want to be with you just for sex. You’re so much more than your looks. I’m sorry if, though I’m sure I did, I made you think otherwise. You’re a caring soul, you do your best to protect those you love and you still try to help people and continue to be good when life has given you so much pain and many opportunities to be bad. You’re still you, yes maybe more cautious and a closedown. But you’re still a good guy.” Stiles confesses. He caresses Derek’s cheek with one hand. “You’re the best guy. And I love you, sourwolf and all.”
“Will you like to stop this whole arrangement and honour me the chance to show you my love and date you properly?” Derek asks shyly.
“Yes. I’d love that very much.” Stiles replies happily.
Derek leans forward to kiss Stiles again, the kiss is deeper and more passionate than their first. This one is a kiss to mark the beginning of their relationship, and they’re going to make sure the other feels how deeply their love runs for the other.
Stiles reaches up and slides his hands to hold Derek closer. One hand rests on his collarbone while the other rests on the back of Derek’s neck, occasionally playing with the hair at the nape of Derek’s neck. Derek growls softly, pleased with the sensation and the happiness exuding from Stiles.
Derek makes a mental note to make up for all the times Stiles snuck in handholding and intimacy. He won’t let any doubts settle into Stiles anymore.
Epilogue:
Stiles spends more time at the loft than at home nowadays. Isaac and Scott are happy their packmates have finally got their shit together and are happy together.
— - —
Derek enters his room, back from running errands, to the sight of Stiles dozing on his bed. He smiles at the sight. He walks over and kisses Stiles’s lips lightly. Stiles blinks awake, mouth curling into a smile at the sight of his boyfriend.
“Did you just wake me up like a Disney princess?” Stiles teases.
Derek simply laughs before cradling Stiles and hoists him up, eliciting a laugh from Stiles in the process. He kisses the laughter from Stiles, tasting the happiness and contentment on his lips.
Much later, as they relax and embrace from their afterglow, Stiles sits up and strokes a hand on Derek’s face before leaning down and kissing Derek sweetly, his hand gently resting on Derek’s neck, feeling the beating of his heart. They smile at each other before Stiles lays back down, settling his head on Derek’s chest, his ear over Derek’s heart. Derek strokes Stiles’s hair.
“You have my love, Stiles. You always have, always will.”
END