Chapter Text
As the party went on, and the snacks slowly dwindled, Dirk relaxed into the familiar atmosphere of everyone he’d ever cared about being in one place again. He thought he’d be awkward with so many people at once. And he was. But there was something peaceful about watching Roxy throw his arms over John and Jane’s shoulders while Hal showed Jane and Jade something on his phone, Dave chatting a mile a minute at John with Karkat nearby arguing with Rose, who in turn asked Jake for his opinion. Dirk had been having a fairly relaxed conversation with Kanaya about different sewing techniques when he found himself staring at the scene, surprisingly calm and warm about the chatter and volume.
It was weird to realize that he’d missed this. Everyone had been busy lately, it was hard to find the time to sit down as a group like this. Even then, Dirk knew John was a little bummed that he couldn’t invite a couple of his other friends over since they weren’t in town (which Dirk was secretly glad for, he wouldn’t be so relaxed if Vriska and Terezi were here). But Dirk could still see the way John lit up, surrounded by his friends and family. Even if Dirk hadn’t missed this and was uncomfortable the whole party. John’s smile would be reason enough to stick around and try.
There was no official dinner, as the evening rolled around, since the snack table in the kitchen was more than outfitted to feed thirteen adults. But around that time, Mr. Egbert and Mr. Crocker still rolled out of the kitchen, carrying a large cake between them, and everyone moved to give them a path to John and Jane and started up an absolutely horrendous rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’. John looked physically pained, though Dirk couldn’t tell if it was because of the cake or the off-key, off-beat cacophony around him, topped off by Dave trying to beatbox. Jane just laughed, but she was eyeing the cake suspiciously, like it would explode. Dirk wouldn’t put it past the fathers to do that.
When the song came to a close, the fathers stood and presented the cake. John and Jane met eyes, both narrowed and suspicious, and there was a tense moment of an inner dialogue before they came to a conclusion. They leaned forward carefully, bodies tense, and blew out the candles together. Everyone cheered, Dirk doing a slow sarcastic clap, and the pair waited for something to happen. When it didn’t, they stood up straight, relief on their faces for half a second before their fathers brought cream pies out from behind their backs and smacked them in the face.
“Holy shit,” Dave said, loudly, and Dirk couldn’t help agreeing because he hadn’t even seen the two carrying the pies with them.
Roxy doubled over cackling, Hal not far behind him, which cascaded to most of the party. Not bothering to remove his glasses, John gave his dad a flat look, and only received a smile in response. Dirk failed to hold back a snort.
“Well,” Jane started, holding a hand under her chin to catch any cream that dripped, “can’t say I didn’t expect that. Hoohoohoo!”
“Uuuuuugh.” John started walking to the kitchen. “Bluh, it’s in my mouth. Why did you use shaving cream instead of whip cream?! This is so gross.”
With another laugh, Jane followed John, supposedly to clean off. Mr. Egbert and Mr. Crocker started handing out cake slices, saving the first cut for Jane. Dirk greedily accepted the biggest slice he could get before perching on the arm of the couch. When John came back some minutes later, clean and a little damp with a slice of pie and some ice cream, making his guests scootch over to sit between Dirk and Jade, Dirk raised a brow at him.
“What, too good for cake?”
John rolled his eyes. “I just don’t like it much. I’ve had way too much cake in my life, it gets weird and gross after a while.”
“Bullshit. Cake is always good. It’s like pizza, even if it’s super shitty it's really good. There cannot be a bad cake. You obviously have no taste, as you have pecan pie and vanilla ice cream. The most bland of flavours, if you will.”
“Hey! They’re perfectly good flavours! Your taste buds have just died because you haven’t had a good meal in your life!”
“Lies and slander, baseless accusations. How dare you, John. You will pay dearly for this transgression with your life.”
“Nu-uh! You can’t do anything to me, cause it’s my birthday! I’m immune to the laws of the land on this day.” John gave him a big grin, one that made his heart do flips, and shoved some pie into his mouth.
Dirk couldn’t quite help his own little smile. “Well, fuck. Foiled again by your Purge ass rules. This totally isn’t like playing tag with a kid just for them to pull some rules out of their ass about how they can’t be tagged and you go along with it anyways, because the fit they would throw just isn’t worth it. You’ve won this time, Egbert.” He paused dramatically. “Except, wait, isn’t your birthday actually not for another couple of days? Which renders your immunity useless? And your crimes must be paid?”
John’s eyes narrowed, and he opened his mouth to protest, but Dirk quickly stabbed a piece of his cake and shoved it into John’s mouth. Sputtering, John’s face wrinkled in disgust and he spat it back onto a clear spot on his plate promptly. Dirk snorted.
“Gross.”
“Dude! That was gross!”
“Please, it’s delicious.” Shrugging, Dirk popped a piece of cake into his mouth.
John’s nose wrinkled again, cute and scrunched in a way that made Dirk want to pinch it, and motioned to his pie. “So you wouldn’t mind if i shoved some of my very bland pie at you?”
Cocking a brow, Dirk swallowed his cake and reached over to get a bit of the pie, dipped it in the ice cream, and bit into it. John blanched at him. He chewed, pointedly, then swallowed.
“Just because I said it was bland, doesn’t mean I can’t like it.”
John shook his head at Dirk, slumping back with a groan. “You’re the worst.”
Dirk chuckled. John looked at him again, and as much as he tried to look annoyed, his expression was softening in a way that sent flutters through Dirk’s stomach. John’s elbow was on the arm rest behind Dirk, where he could brush his fingers across Dirk’s back when he shifted and make it look like an accident, and Dirk wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss him right there and then. It would be so easy to shift and slide into John’s lap, wind his fingers into his hair, and pull him in. John wouldn’t likely protest it.
But they were in the living room, surrounded by their friends and family, and still not ready to make that kind of announcement. So Dirk only gave John a little smile and turned back to his cake, and zoned into someone else's conversation. He also tried very hard to ignore the delighted grins he was getting from a pair of Lalonde’s. It was easier said than done.
***
They were halfway through watching Spy Kids, the only movie they could all agree to watch at that time, when everyone had finished their cake and put their dishes in the kitchen at varying times. John stood to go wash them instinctively, but was stopped by a hand to his chest that shoved him back down.
“Where do you think you’re going, Egbert?”
John raised a brow at Dirk. “Uh, going to wash the dishes? So we don’t have to deal with them later?”
“Dude. This is your birthday party. You shouldn’t be washing shit.”
“Yeah, John,” Jade placed a hand on his arm on his other side, “we can leave it until tomorrow and then wash them, if you’re so worried about it. But you should be celebrating and hanging out!”
Jane nodded. “It really isn’t a bother, come sit.”
John would normally listen to Jade and relax again, hanging out with his friends. But then he had an idea, something sneaky, and he really hoped it would work. He shrugged, going to stand up again, brushing his hand over Dirk’s back up to his shoulders to try getting him to clue in.
“I won’t be that long, and this is technically Jane’s house so I feel kind of bad. I’ll just do them then come back!”
Dirk was silent for a moment. John was worried he hadn’t picked up on what John was doing, as it was kind of obtuse, but then he slid off the arm and got into a stance. “If you’re that worried, I’ll drag someone else to do them with me. But you sit your ass back down, birthday boy.”
John pretended to think about that, then grinned. “Hm. Nope! I know where everything is, so it’s fine.”
They stared at each other for a long moment. Then John took off towards the kitchen doors, jumping over Dave’s legs where he sat on the floor, Dirk hot on his heels. They fought through the door, Dirk trying to yank John back by the back of his shirt, which only served to drag Dirk into the room too when John used the doorway as leverage to get him through. Giggling all the way, he ignored Dirk’s curses until they were out of sight.
As soon as John couldn’t see any of their friends, he turned to pull Dirk into a kiss but was beaten to it. Dirk slipped into his personal space, one hand still balled in the back of his shirt, and pressed their lips together firmly. John giggled again, backing further away from the door and taking Dirk with him.
“I missed you,” he mumbled between kisses.
Dirk huffed and pulled away just enough to give him a look. “It’s been only a handful of hours since we last kissed, and we’ve been in the same place for all of them.”
“I know, but still!” Wrapping his arms around Dirk’s waist, John backed up until his hips hit the counter, where he could comfortably lean back. “I missed being able to kiss you and hold your hand. Kind of more than when we haven’t seen each other for a while? I don’t know, it’s weird.”
Dirk hummed, placing his hands on the counter either side of John and leaning against him. He ducked his head into John’s shoulder, and John moved his hands to rub Dirk’s back and feel his muscles slowly relax against him.
“I get what you mean.”
Smiling, John rested his temple against Dirk’s head. They stood there for a few moments, quiet, just existing in each other’s space and breathing. After a bit, John kissed Dirk’s temple, and Dirk pulled back.
“We should actually do dishes though, it would be weird if we said we’d do them and then just. Didn’t.”
Dirk hummed, and they stepped over to the sink. They emptied it, filled it with soap and water (John flicked the first suds at Dirk playfully, which earned him a smack with a twirled up cloth), and started working. John washed and directed where everything went while Dirk dried and put them there, smooth and calm, with the sounds of their friends chattering over the movie in the other room.
John wondered, briefly, if this was what it would be like to live with Dirk. If they would be doing dishes together after dinner, sharing a soft silence. Would it be as comfortable as John imagined? He hoped so. But it was probably far too early in the relationship to be thinking about that stuff, so John didn’t mention it. He instead handed Dirk another cup and pointed him towards the proper cupboard.
After some minutes of working together peacefully, John bumped his hip into Dirk’s. “Hey, so I got grilled by Rose earlier. She knows for sure that I like you. Said that if I needed help trying to ask you out, I could ask her.”
Pausing, Dirk snorted, then shook his head. “Lalondes. Roxy did the same, seduced me with cupcakes then started asking questions. He wants to know when I’m going to ask you out too. Can’t wait to see their faces when we reveal we already are. They might just straight up kill us.”
“Oh god, that’ll be a nightmare. They’re going to have so many questions. That almost makes me want to tell them now, just so we can avoid their wrath when we have to say how long we’ve been together.”
“Mmhm. Leave it up to a Lalonde to convince someone to tell them something through the thought of a threat to come.”
Giggling, John bumped his hip into Dirk’s again, handing him a plate. “Just almost. I like having you to myself for now too much.”
Cocking a brow, Dirk fought back a smile. “Well, aren’t you a charmer? You trying to butter me up? Well sorry to say, flattery won’t get you anywhere.”
“Oh really? Won’t even get me a kiss from my boyfriend?”
“Nope. These lips are sealed tight. You’ll just have to live with the fact that my kissable visage is off limits, to you and everyone else, for the rest of time.”
John hummed. “Pretty sure I remember you kissing me just a bit ago.”
“Well, you remember wrong. That was Hal. I’m insulted you can’t tell us apart, Egbert.”
John laughed, flicking some water at Dirk. Dirk retaliated by taking the wet hand that had just been holding a dish and smearing it across John’s cheek. They stared at each other for a moment. Then John swiped his fingers through the suds and shoved them at Dirk the same time he dipped the corner of his rag in the water and smacked John with it. They devolved quickly into seeing who could get the other’s shirt more wet without making a mess of the kitchen. John couldn’t keep the grin off his face. Even when Dirk flicked on the tap and angled the water to hit him just right.
When John’s shirt was almost completely soaked through, he reached forward and grabbed Dirk by the shoulders, pulling him in for a big hug, hoping to transfer the wetness. Dirk tried to duck away, but was yanked firmly into John’s arms. He made a disgusted noise, planting his hands on John’s hips and trying to push away. John just held him tighter, giggling.
“Jesus Christ, you’re soaked.”
“And whose fault is that, I wonder?”
“A mystery. A gross, wet mystery. You sure you’re not the thing that came up out of the lagoon to terrorize humankind?”
“Pretty sure!”
Wrinkling his face, Dirk gave him a look, distinguishable even with his shades on. John just leaned forward and kissed the tip of his nose. Dirk’s face smoothed over, going extra flat.
“Affection. Gross.”
Snorting, John opened his mouth to retaliate, but Dirk leaned forward and caught his mouth in another kiss and John stayed quiet. Well, mostly quiet. He couldn’t quite hold back the little laugh that bubbled out of him. He felt light and giddy, remembering a different time that Dirk and him had gotten into a silly fight in a kitchen. He’d really wanted to kiss Dirk then, too. And now he actually got to.
They stayed like that, blissfully unaware of their surroundings. And like earlier that day, they were interrupted.
“John, we’re going to be putting on a Cage flick if you’d like to- oh jeezums!”
The two leapt apart. Feeling blood rush high on his cheeks, John looked over with dread thumping between his ears. Jake stood a few paces from the door, his face also somewhat coloured, looking everywhere but at Dirk and John. When he noticed they had broken apart, he looked over, but kept his wide and awkward eyes on John.
“Well! I, er, had my suspicions that the two of you fancied each other. But I hadn’t known you were, uhm, doing the tonsil tango, as one would say!”
“No one says that.” John despaired, looking at the ceiling. “It’s tonsil tennis. But please don’t call it that, either. Or say anything about this.”
“Oh! Yes, mums the word! I’ll be quite hush hush!”
Jake laughed nervously, eyes skittering across the wall. Turning to John, Dirk gave him a raised brow. John understood it as Dirk speak for ‘are you seriously asking Jake to keep a secret’. And unfortunately, he was.
“I’m serious, Jake. We’re not ready to tell anyone about this. I really need you to keep this thing quiet, please.”
“I already agreed! You can trust my discretion, John. There won’t be a word about this!”
John nodded, looking at Dirk again. He wanted to confirm with Dirk if he should go out to watch the movie or if he should stay, but Dirk wasn’t looking at him. Instead, he was trying to look at Jake, but his head kept turning slightly further than him. He looked like he wanted to say something more, or mention something else entirely, but didn’t really know how to go about it.
Frowning, John looked at Jake. He looked a little the same, shifting awkwardly and rubbing his hands together, on his pants, over the back of his neck. His nervous energy was tinged with the need to do something, but he wasn’t doing it. Like he knew he had to do something he wouldn’t like, and was delaying it.
John glanced at the doorway, to both of them, then back. Personally, John didn’t have anything against Jake. They were cousins, and John loved Jake, even if he wasn’t the brightest sometimes. And John didn’t want to get into his business with Dirk, because that was messy and would take a lot of time to mend. He probably shouldn’t go sticking his nose in it.
But they both so obviously wanted to talk, they just didn’t know where to start. So John picked up a cloth, dried his arms, and did his best to soak up the water in his shirt as he walked towards the door. Loudly, and unconvincingly, he raised his voice.
“Oh, you want to volunteer to finish the dishes with Dirk, Jake? Wow, thanks! Now I can enjoy that Cage flick you mentioned. You’re a real pal!”
With that, John slipped back into the living room, avoiding Dirk’s venomous look. He tossed the cloth back over to a counter, shirt still pretty wet despite his best efforts, and stopped short when he saw everyone looking at him. The expressions ranged from mild surprise to shock to delight. No one said anything for a long moment.
“...What? We all know that had to happen.”
Dave raised a hand. “Why are you soaking dude?”
“Dirk and I were messing around.” John walked in and sat on the floor, careful not to lean on the couch and get it all wet. “So! What Nic Cage movie are we watching?”
***
Dirk was going to have some strong words with his boyfriend when he got a hold of him next. It was one thing to talk to him and push him towards being a better person and actually talk about his shit, but it was another thing entirely to abandon him with that shit. The variable in that equation, ‘shit’, being his ex.
Said ex was standing in the middle of the kitchen, gaping at the kitchen doors. Dirk’s own mouth was pressed into a thin line, muscles all wound tight. Neither of them moved for a long time, not even when Jake slowly dragged his eyes over again. Then Jake snapped his mouth closed, squared his shoulders, and gave Dirk a strained and shaky smile.
“Er, so! What’s left of those dishes?”
Turning, Dirk shoved his hands into the water. “Not much. John and I got the bulk of it. There’s just some baking tools left.”
“Right-o.”
Shuffling over, Jake picked up a new cloth to dry with and stood awkwardly at Dirk’s side. Dirk did his best to ignore Jake, eyes down at the dishes and suds, wrinkly fingers tight around the baking tray he was scraping at. It felt ridiculous earlier, to be washing dishes at a birthday party, but at least he’d been with John. Everything was better with John. Now he just felt stupid and trapped.
He knew he should open his mouth and say something- anything- but whenever he thought of the words they’d evaporate into denial in his hands and his mouth would remain stubbornly closed. All of the sorry ’s, the where were you ’s, the why ’s all trapped like bile building in his throat. But he wouldn’t be the first to spill.
Jake could be just as stubborn as him, if not more, so Dirk was surprised when he cleared his throat and quietly began to talk. “Ah, Dirk, there are… a few things I should probably say to you. And possibly explain. Because it was brought to my attention that the way I broke things off wasn’t the best!”
Cocking a brow, Dirk frowned at the dishes, hands stilling. He didn’t look over, but he didn’t tell Jake to stop, either.
After a long moment of silence, Jake continued. “So, I sort of explained some things over the phone. I’m not sure if you remember, we were both quite emotional at the time. But we…” Jake sighed. “We weren’t good together anymore. And it was hard to stick to a break up to your face when you would say such sweet things about how we could work things out! We really did give it the ol’ college try, too. But it wasn’t working.”
Dirk knew all of that, now. He’d known that since he realized he had feelings for John. It became stupidly clear after he and John started dating, too, because their relationship felt nothing like his one with Jake near the end. He’d almost forgotten what being happy in his relationship was like.
Jake sighed again beside him, running a hand through his hair. “I suppose what I truly want to say though is… I’m sorry for hurting you. I’m not sorry that I ended things, but I am regretful for how it left you. And that I didn’t find a more tactful way of doing it.”
Dirk was silent for a long moment. Forcing his shoulders to relax, he shook his head, starting to scrub the baking sheet again. “Don’t be sorry about how you did it. I was up my own ass about our relationship, and wasn’t admitting there was something wrong. It’s probably for the best that you fucked off, gave me time to actually look at our shit and go ‘oh damn, that stinks, I should throw that out. Where are my goddamn gloves.’ Like I’d just realized there was something dead and rotting in the room, which was probably the Elephant, and it took you leaving me alone with it as it stunk up the place for me to notice. I was kind of an ass about everything.”
Jake blinked, then chuckled. “Well, it’s not as though I was all that forthcoming about my feelings on the matter at the time either. And flying to Europe was probably an extreme reaction.”
Snorting, Dirk handed the dish over to him. Jake took it and started drying. “Just a lil’.”
They were quiet for another long moment. It was still awkward, but there was something less charged about it. Dirk took a breath, sliding the next dish over to Jake. As he let it out, he relaxed the remaining muscles in his body as much as he could.
That hadn’t been so bad. Certainly wasn’t the loud and anger filled conversation Dirk had been expecting. Then again, Dirk always expected the worst. They’d said their apologies, and understood each other’s sides enough that they wouldn’t avoid each other so heavily. Jane and Roxy would be glad for that at least.
“Er,” Jake started, crouched and putting a dish away, drawing Dirk’s attention, “I feel as though this is a rather silly question to ask, but, well, a lot has happened recently. And it might just be my ol’ noggin fretting too much, but in the case it isn’t, I do want to clarify if we- er, well, if you and I, after everything that’s happened-”
Dirk rolled his eyes. “Spit it out, Jake.”
“Right. I was wondering if, after everything that happened… we could perhaps still be mates?”
Blinking, Dirk turned away from the last couple of dishes. He opened his mouth, then closed it. He frowned, thinking.
Could they? It was a fair question. He and Jake had been on again off again since they were in high school, all of that history was bound to put some strain on any friendship they tried to keep after the fact. Not to mention that Dirk was currently dating his cousin. They might just end up being painfully awkward around each other for the rest of their lives, barely able to foster a bond but trying for Roxy and Jane’s sakes.
But Dirk had known Jake since he was twelve. He didn’t want all of that time and all of those memories to go to waste. He didn’t want to lose Jake, even if their relationship had to change. He was one of Dirk’s first friends, and one of the most important people in his life. It might be naive to want to hold onto that, but Dirk really wanted to.
“It’ll probably take a fuck ton of time and effort on our part, and this is going to be profoundly awkward to begin with, I’d prefer if we could be.”
Jake’s body language slumped with relief, a breath he’d been holding whooshing out of him. He stood and came back over, grinning brightly. “Capital! Happy to continue being your friend then, Dirk!”
Dirk snorted. “You’re making this sound like a business prospect instead of the continuation of a relationship.”
“Yes, well. No business like friendship!”
That was superbly lame. Dirk didn’t say that, though, in the spirit of a rekindled companionship. He just snorted, turning back to the dishes. Jake slid back to his side, taking the next offered tray to dry and put away.
After another moment of quiet, Jake spoke again. “By the way, I’ve been meaning to ask. Though I thought I’d be asking John, and- well, that doesn’t matter.” He chuckled sheepishly. “Er, how are you and John going? It seemed to be rather swell, when I caught you two canoodling, but I thought I’d ask!”
Dirk snorted at Jake’s terms, willing himself to not turn red at the reminder. For once, it worked. “It’s going good. Actually good, not some fucked up version of it. It’s new and we’re pretty new to this shit, but it’s good. We’re working out. Or, more accurately, we’re making it work.”
Jake’s grin was blinding. “I’m glad!”
Dirk believed it. He hesitated, then gave Jake his own smile that came out more as a smirk. It was still returned twofold.
When they finished and went back into the livingroom to join the others, watching Into The Spiderverse, Dirk ignored the curious and worried glances. He took a seat next to Roxy on the floor, bumping their shoulders together in a silent ‘it’s fine’. Roxy understood, face brightening and looking over to Jake, who was next to Jane and giving her a similar signal. Their faces were so happy Dirk couldn’t help the quirk of his own lips.
John, on the floor in front of Jane, gave him a slightly worried glance. Not worried about him and Jake, but about leaving him like that. Which he should be, Dirk was going to give him an earful about that later. But not right now. In a show of good faith, Dirk stuck his tongue out at John. Immediately perking up, John returned the gesture, much more childish than Dirk’s own stoic face with a silly grin. It was cute, and made his insides twist pleasantly.
Looking at the TV, Dirk raised a brow. “I was under the impression that when I came in there would be a Nic Cage movie on.”
“Oh, yes,” Jane waved a hand, “he is in this. This is my compromise between Nicolas Cage and a movie I’m actually interested in.”
“He’s Spider Noir!” John said happily, the gap between ‘spider’ and ‘noir’ clear in his emphasis, the same way he separated ‘ghost’ and ‘busters’. “I was expecting an actual Nic Cage movie too, but this is fine.”
Karkat rolled his eyes. “So sorry we couldn’t stand to watch another flick of his after the countless times you’ve forced his ugly mug upon us. Truly, I’m fucking devastated we couldn’t satisfy your weird Cage boner.”
Dave snorted, offering his fist. Karkat tapped his knuckles against his. John rolled his own eyes, putting a hand out. Jade grabbed the pillow behind her and dropped it into his hand with a grin, laughing delightfully when he whipped it at the two. They squawked, Dave’s shades going askew, and retaliated. They missed, spectacularly, and the room quickly devolved into laughter and yelps.
Dirk watched, a smile tugging at his lips, relaxed. They really didn’t get together often enough. It was nice to watch everyone let go and act like they were seventeen again.
A pillow smacked Dirk in the face. Looking over at Rose, the perpetrator, she gave him a deceptively innocent smile and continued to pretend she was perfectly prim and proper next to Kanaya. Kanaya gave her away more than Rose did, with a hand over her mouth and amusement in her eyes. Plucking up the pillow, Dirk accepted the silent challenge, tossing it right back at them.
He wasn’t immune to acting like he was seventeen again either. Dirk found he could live with that.