Chapter Text
Specks of golden light in various shades of orange, yellow and red fall through the open window illuminating the room. They fall over Tweek, encircling his wild blond hair like a halo. Tweek blinks, frowning slightly at the early morning light intrusion. He is sitting at his desk wearing nothing but an oversized blue NASA t shirt and a pair of green boxer shorts. His dark aqua eyes stare at the lit screen of a white laptop. The laptop's cover is filled with numerous space themed stickers - a white and blue sparkly space ship, various rainbow colored stars, and an anime style sticker of a black haired astronaut his arms wrapped tightly around a blond haired coffee drinking alien. They remind Tweek of other space decals. Ones that glow ominously from the ceiling of another teen's room.
Tweek shakes his head as he tries to will his mind away from the memories associated with those particular decals. Tries to forget the way his heart raced when his former best friend and then later ex boyfriend's hand brushed against his as he handed him one of those star decals. Warmth spreads through him as the memory takes shape. As his mind against his will pulls him back in time. It was a simple gift. One that ten and a half year old Tweek had worried was not good enough, but the moment Craig had opened the badly wrapped present and seen those decals, his face had lit up and he had hugged Tweek not letting go for a solid minute. The blond just stood there - face burning, heart racing, feeling dizzy. He hadn't understood what was happening. Not until the whispers of their other friends had forced Craig to step away from him and Tweek’s heart fell in disappointment. Only for the whole thing to start up again when Craig had flipped the rest of their friends off and told them go get the fuck out, before grabbing Tweek's hand, and half dragging him to his bedroom. Tweek shakes his head dissolving that particular memory.
He reaches for the half empty rainbow mug that sits to his right. The moment the liquid touches his tongue, Tweek murmurs in displeasure. The coffee is strong and bitter with just a hint of chocolate. It's not so much the sweetness of the chocolate that he dislikes, but rather the memory associated with it. The memory of the taste of coffee and chocolate on a certain raven haired boy's tongue. Tweek puts the coffee mug back down on his desk. It seems to smirk up at him, its simple rainbow design mocking him. Unwanted, another memory comes to mind. Craig proudly holding the very same mug and presenting it to Tweek. "I got us each one," Craig's nasally voice had explained, "so when I can't be with you, we can still be close..." Craig had turned away from him then pink dusting his cheeks, "so you'll never be alone."
"But he did leave you alone” one of the voices that always plagued his thoughts whispers.
Tweek ignores the voice and instead focuses on the rainbow decal on the mug. A miserable sigh. He can feel the bitter cruelness of it all, of loves fading kiss. He groans putting his head down on the desk, his fingers instantly reaching up clutching at the golden strands of his hair.
The whispers in his head grow more insistent. They seem to delight in the fact that Craig is no longer his. “Just look at how much happier he is without you” they say.
Tweek is stronger than the voices, no longer that thirteen year old kid who got caught by jealous whispers. He is almost sixteen now - almost an adult, and he refuses to get lured by the mischief that the monsters bring. “But are you really? Are you Tweek or was it Craig all along who kept us at bay?”
Tweek groans "shut up, shut up, shut up!"
The voices grow quiet and then as Tweek brings the rainbow mug back to his lips, the worse of all the voices, the part of himself he tries to keep locked away rises.
“Do you think Craig's spending time with Thomas?" This particular monster asks, its voice the depiction of innocence "Just imagine what the two of them could be doing."
A familiar feeling washes over Tweek coating everything green, as the words ring through his mind.
"You could always… check up on him." All the monsters that take residence in his head implore.
And really...what harm could it do? Tweek thinks as he turns back to the laptop. His inner demons are quiet now, as he flips back and forth between his ex-boyfriend’s social media accounts.
He is staring at Craig's latest Coonstagram photo. His ex looks good, too good, and he can feel the familiar ache settle. He's not spying, he just holding onto the one life line that he has left. Craig stares back at him from the computer. He looks smug. His eyes dark and hooded. His jaw jutted upwards slightly and his lips (the lips Tweek quite literally has gotten lost in) hold the slightest smile. He is wearing his 'super hero' costume. Stripe, their shared child, is perched on the top of Super Craig's trade mark hat.
Super Craig? More like Stupid Craig, Tweek thinks to himself, and yet he can't take his eyes off of the photo.
It takes Tweek a few moments to notice the caption on the photo. Craig had written in large capital letters. "Me and my Super partner - Stripe is so loyal and he doesn't get butthurt LIKE SOMEONE."
Tweek stares at the caption. His body heats up, his heart twists. Craig was calling him out? But why? Did he… could he... "Does he miss me?"
Laughter, cold, bitter the monsters are back, "You’re such a fool."
"Gah! Shut up." He hisses at his inner dialogue.
And then to prove them wrong, to show them and the world that he does not need Craig Tucker. He types out a reply under the photo of Craig and Stripe.
"You replaced me with the Guinea Pig?! THAT I BOUGHT YOU!!!! YOU'RE SUCH A CHILD!!!"
There, he reasons, I am totally over him! He feels a little better like he could breathe again. Like he had won. Like Craig was the one left alone and broken. And then instantly, almost like Craig had been sitting on his bed - his dark hair messy in that totally sexy way, his eyes sparkling with mischief - just waiting for Tweek to respond.
"Dude get off my posts."
Tweek stares at the sentence like it was the most vile string of words ever written.
"Gah, you.., you... Jerk."
Instead of closing the laptop, instead of ending this insanity. Tweek closes that particular photo and opens another. This is also a newer photo. It looks as if it was uploaded last night. He briefly scans the many likes and comments before examining the photo. It's a team shot of Coon and Friends. Craig is standing in between The Human Kite and Mosquito, Clyde's arm draped carelessly around Craig's shoulders. Tweek stares down at the photo frowning. He blinks rapidly at the tears filling his eyes, his insides twisting with jealousy. He knows that Clyde isn’t gay. He knows that Clyde is with Bebe and that Craig is usually annoyed by his 'best friends' clingy behavior. The only thing is that judging by the look on the usual stoic boys face, Craig doesn't seem to be annoyed. He shakes his head, willing those weird thoughts away. After all Craig's, not like that. Unwanted another memory comes to mind, another time barely two years ago when Craig had hidden their relationship. Tweek shakes that thought away before his vague jealousies re-awaken, the Green eyed monster that occasionally torments him. Craig had never cheated. It had been nothing but a misunderstanding on Tweek's part, something his ex-boyfriend casually forgets even happened, though Tweek remembers and his unease grows. It’s true that Craig never cheated on him but that doesn't say much against the idea of him moving on.
No, this is just his anxieties taking. Clyde is straight and besides, the only other guy Craig had ever shown any remote interest in is Thomas (Craig will say otherwise but why else would he have tried to hide their relationship two years ago?).
No, this is so silly. There is no truth to the idea that Craig did anything back then, and there definitely is no proof he is doing anything now, and besides… Craig had said he loved him.
"But you didn’t stand up for me!" He accuses the photo.
Suddenly Tweek's Coonstagram dings, signalling he has a notification. He quickly closes the photo of Coon and Friends and opens up his own Coonstagram page. One new comment sits below his latest photo. It's a shot of him and Mysterion. Kenny is smirking down at him as he holds Tweek's thermos to his lips, Tweek's hands reaching eagerly for his favorite beverage. Token had snapped the photo with Tweek's phone (who he took so Tweek wouldn't text Craig) and had uploaded it to Coonstagram. Tweek had completely forgotten about the photo until now.
His hands shake as he stares down at it, the comment Craig had left. "Didn't take you that long, did it?" He had ended the comment with an ANGRY face. Staring at those words, at that emoji, made Tweek's heart pound a single whispered name echoing with each heartbeat.
Craig's profile picture stares up at him. His emerald eyes cold, his trade mark frown the very definition of indifference. His (their) guinea pig Stripe sits perched on the boy's shoulder, his written words drip with accusations. Flurries of panic start to nestle their way into his brain. He ignores them, ignores the whispers that plead their case of indifference. That suggest that he really did mean nothing.
Twitching slightly, he closes Coonstagram and opens Facebook. It takes a moment for his page to load. He hasn't been on Facebook for the past 2 weeks. Not since Craig had thrown it all away by valuing fucking Eric Cartman more than his boyfriend of 5 years.
A sharp gasp fills his room when his profile loads. He had forgotten that they had both changed their profile pics just before it happened. Super Craig and Wonder Tweek stare back at him, arms wrapped around each other, a slight dusting of color spread across Tweek's face. Craig is leaned forward slightly looking straight at the camera. He is kissing Tweek on the side of his lips. Tweek has his hands out in defence of his then boyfriend's PDA. They look happy.
Tweek stares at the photo, his twitching becoming more pronounced - tiny spasms that start in his hands but soon spread through his entire body. He goes to the profile photo option, his mouse hovering over the change picture option for a moment. Tweek stares at the option in indecision. He would be making a statement if he changed it, and even bigger one if he left it alone.
"But he threw you away" the whispers are back "he threw it all away. What does it matter?"
"No, ahh oh god," his hands are in his hair pulling, pulling, pulling. The pain that radiates down from his scalp seems to soothe the anxious whispers that are echoing through his mind. Tweek sits up straighter in his seat. He will change his picture, to that super cute one of him and Stripe that Craig likes....liked so much, if the other had also changed his. It's so simple Tweek reasons with himself "’cause, ngh, if ack I-I meant nothing..."
Quickly, before common sense takes over, he pulls up Craig's Facebook profile. A badly drawn yaoi picture of Craig and himself stares back at him.
"Ack, w-what?" Tweek stares at the picture.
Craig had changed his profile to another picture of them? But why? And most importantly, why was it one of those yaoi pictures their classmates had drawn so many years ago? He stares at the picture, willing it to answer him. It wasn’t even one of the better art works either! It somewhat resembled the 'star' piece of Thomas Tucker’s collection and yet the artist who had drawn it lacked any real talent. The photo showed a very basic drawing of younger versions of Craig and Tweek. They were barely a step up from stick people. Lines and squares, and other shapes interlocked to form the rudimentary outlines of their bodies. The artist had used what appeared to be lopsided heart shapes for the characters heads, one of which appeared to be upside down. The majority of the work had gone into sketching facial features and hair. Both faces displayed warm smiles: the blond drawing's face was saturated with pink and red, in what Tweek assumed was meant to be flushed cheeks? Or perhaps his paper counterpart had a sunburn? A green shirt (or something that resembled a shirt) in the wrong shade was scribbled across his paper images badly drawn torso.The paper Craig was not wearing his hat. Black streaks of color in vertical lines were placed around his upside down heart head. A blue blob type thingy was scribbled along his triangle torso. Most shockingly there was blood or something wrapped all around the two, but most of it seemed to be pooled around paper Tweek’s head. Tweek clicked onto the image to enlarge it. He tilts his head to the side as he stares at the picture.
"blood, gah...a string of blood??
Whatever it was, it’s wrapped all around the two. Just what was Craig trying to say here? Was this some kind of threat? Did Cartman brainwash his Craig so badly that he now was some kind of assassin and was telling Tweek and the world he is going to kill Tweek with some kind of red thingy?... was that thing even red? The colors look more purple or pink, Indigo maybe?
Tweek’s eyes fell down to the bottom of the image, where the artist usually signs the picture, and sure enough in Craig's handwriting, his name was signed in large scrolled letters.
A slight frown finds itself onto Tweek's lips, "ngh ahhh augh what does this mean?"
Hastily he clicks on the comments option ready to voice his displeasure at Craig’s maybe not so thinly veiled threat but someone had beaten him to the top comment, "Dude, I know you’re pissed at Tweek for leaving you but is this type of threat really necessary?”
"Gah! I didn't leave him!" Tweek glares at the comment.
Craig had replied directly beneath Stan's untrue declaration "Fuck off Marsh."
And then below that Clyde had responded, “I think it's a beautiful portrait of you and Tweek um but what does the blood represent though??
A middle finger emoji followed by, "your so stupid," was Craig's reply. That was it other than a bunch of girls prattling on about how sweet Craig was for drawing a (very bad) yaoi picture. Heart racing, Palms sweating, Tweek’s fingers dance across the keyboard tapping out a response before he can stop himself. "WHY IS THERE BLOOD ALL AROUND MY HEAD!!!!"
Tweek face pales in horror as the three little dots indicate someone was responding to his comment. Oh god. What had he done? Craig was going to kill him now or at the very least never speak to him again. He had after all just told him to get off his posts on Coonstagram.
"Get off my Facebook!!!"
Tweek's heart sank as Craig's words jumped at him from the screen and then, not even thirty seconds later, Craig added another response "and it's not blood"
What is it then? Tweek questions the computer and as if Craig had heard him, "it's the red string of fate"
Tweek blinks and then rubs at his eyes, convinced he was seeing things, but sure enough when he looks again Craig's last message was still there, frank and to the point, but also raw and as much public emotion the stoic boy was willing to show. It's at that moment Tweek decides to leave his profile photo alone. He looks one last time at Craig's beautiful yet badly drawn art and then powers the computer down.
Slowly he starts getting ready for work, humming softly to himself, making a decision that, after his shift, he will offer Craig the same life line he had just given him.
A thousand ideas float through his brain as the smell of coffee and freshly baked muffins float up from the kitchen.