Chapter Text
QueenofNavigation: So r we just not going to talk about it?
theREALcharlesXavier: Talk about what?
GodofDestruction: Nope
theREALcharlesXavier: Um
theREALcharlesXaveir: guys?
theREALcharlesXavier: what did you do?
QueenofNavigation: I ddnt do anything. It was Zero
GodofDestruction: Guilty as charged
theREALcharlesXavier: oh god
theREALcharlesXavier: Zero what did you do
theREALcharlesXavier: Zero
theREALcharlesXavier: Zero I swear if you “accidentally” welded the doors to the meeting room while the major was inside again I will
GodofDestruction: U will?
theREALcharlesXavier: I don’t know something. Latrine duty or something
GodofDestruction: At this point I have permanent latrine duty so ur words mean nothing to me
GodofDestruction: But no I ddnt do that
theREALcharlesXavier: So what DID you do?!
GodofDestruction: Hopefully nothing
QueenofNavigation: u know that super uptight general that was supposed to visit?
GodofDestruction: SHHHHHH NOTHING HAPPENED
theREALcharlesXavier: the one that idolizes Zero?
QueenofNavigation: the very same
QueenofNavigation: Z must have forgotten this and was having a moment
GodofDestruction: ALIA SHHHHHHH
theREALcharlesXavier: Z do I need to teleport back?
QueenofNavigation: this is y I love u
QueenofNavigation: u immediately offer to drop everything and come over at the slightest hint of emotional distress
QueenofNavigation: yeah u should probably warp back
GodofDestruction: I should just accept my fate shouldn’t I?
QueenofNavigation: ANYWAY, Z u need help and I obviously cant do that for u when I have to suck up to annoying generals
QueenofNavigation: homeboi here was having a mental breakdown and screeching abt mavericks
QueenofNavigation: and how he cant have a normal rest cycle cause his systems are a neurological wreck
QueenofNavigation: and then he goes off about long hair and the color red and me and Sigs were right there with the general
QueenofNavigation: and the commander just kind of coughed and Z turned around and just stated with a straight face “freaking pigeons man” except he didnt say “freaking” and walked off
QueenofNavigation: Gotta keep it pg incase the baby comes back from his mission and reads this
THATonefriend: ive heard worse
THATonefriend: ive said worse
THATonefriend: ive lived worse
GodofDestruction: WHO DO I NEED TO KILL AXL?
THATonefriend: already taken care of
theREALcharlesXavier: I’m coming back Zero
GodofDestruction: Im fine X
GodofDestruction: I got it out of my system
theREALcharlesXavier: Unfortunately you have more than one system
theREALcharlesXavier: And you have a habit of telling me you’re fine when you’re not
theREALcharlesXavier: So I am coming regardless
THATonefriend: Me too!!
THATonefriend: Ive got mario kart and im not afraid to use it
GodofDestruction: didnt you just get back from a mission?
GodofDestruction: dont you have paperwork?
THATonefriend: screw paperwork
theREALcharlesXavier: Since when do you care about paperwork, Z?
theREALcharlesXavier: Also, clear off the table I’ve got cake
GodofDestruction: the hell?
GodofDestruction: already?
QueenofNavigation: SAVE SOME FOR ME BOYS
theREALcharlesXavier: sure thing Al
QueenofNavigation: ill be there as soon as I can ditch this ridiculous tour
THATonefriend: watching X balance a three tiered cake and text while dodging idiots in the hallway is watching a god at work
GodofDestruction: longest sentence you’ve ever txtd and its abt X
GodofDestruction: fair
QueenofNavigation: anything praising X is 100% true
QueenofNavigation: X is a sweet innocent cinnamon roll that must be preserved and savored
THATonefriend: aaaaaaaaand he’s blushing
GodofDestruction: Also X ytf do you have a THREE TIERED cake?!?!
GodofDestruction: I feel like theres a story behind that and I wanna know the deets
theREALcharlesXavier: Walked into the bake shop, showed her my ID, and said that a friend of mine was having a bit of an emotional breakdown and needed a pick me up
theREALcharlesXavier: Made sure to inform her that said friend was a reploid and that I was fully aware of the price inflation. Asked for any cake she would be willing to give to a bunch of reploids
THATonefriend: i hate how everythings inflated for us
THATonefriend: like I just want chips but I have to pay three times the price for them because I don’t NEED them
THATonefriend: like f u
THATonefriend: humans don’t NEED chips either
QueenofNavigation: Go off Axl
GodofDestruction: anyways
GodofDestruction: continue
theREALcharlesXavier: the lady hums, walks into the backroom and comes back out with this MASSIVE cake
THATonefriend: it is absolutely huge
GodofDestrution: u tried to refuse it didnt u?
theREALcharlesXavier: I kind of gawk at it for a bit and then tell her “ma’am I think you might have heard me wrong. I’m a reploid. My friend are reploids. We’re the ones eating it”
theREALcharlesXavier: And she just looks at me from behind the register and goes “that’ll be 50 zenny”
THATonefriend: TF? Arent cakes that size usually five times that much? Like BEFORE reploid taxing?!?!
theREALcharlesXavier: EXACTLY!! So I don’t want to offend her but I really don’t want to not pay full price so I just go “ma’am, we don’t need this much cake” and the lady whose expression has not changed goes “45 zenny then”
QueenofNavigation: she LOWERED the price?!?!?
theREALcharlesXavier: Me: “ma’am that is far too little” lady: “You want me to lower it more?” Me: “No ma’am, I want you to let me pay full price.”
theREALcharlesXavier: Lady: “Boy if you think I’m going to let you pay full price when you’ve been working your ass off trying to save the world, you better think again. You say you and your friends don’t NEED this much cake. Let me tell you what you NEED. You need a BREAK! I don’t want you working until you and your friends finish this whole goddamn cake and savor every goddamn bite.”
theREALcharlesXavier: At this point Im just speechless but she keeps going, “HELL, if it was up to me you wouldn’t pay a goddamn thing for this cake, but it isn’t. So you better hurry up and pay before I lower it more.”
theREALcharlesXavier: so I pay the 45 zenny
THATonefriend: somehow i have a feeling it doesnt end here
GodofDestruction: How much of a tip did you leave
theREALcharlesXavier: I dropped 600 zenny in the jar, looked her straight in the face with a smile and said “for excellent customer service”. Then I grabbed the cake and ran before it could escalate anymore.
GodofDestruction: Of course
THATonefriend: Where did you even go?!?!?
THATonefriend: also, X, u carry like 700 zenny around with u?!?!
GodofDestruction: Axl u havent set up a warp bank account yet?
THATonefriend: a wat?
GodofDestruction: U can teleport money from your account with it. Very useful
THATonefriend: THOSE EXIST?!?!? Y?!?!? LIKE CREDIT CARDS EXIST AND THAT’S PRETTY MUCH THE SAME THING?!?!?
GodofDestruction: dunno. I got one so I can throw money at people when im bored. Not like I use it. HQ pays for everything I need
QueenofDestruction: I just hack whenever I need funds
GodofDestruction: ur gonna get caught one day and im not gonna help you
QueenofDestruction: that’s a lie, youd totally bust me out
QueenofNavigation: also me getting caught? Impossible
QueenofNavigation: also, I already have a criminal record. Y do u think Im legally required to work for the maverick hunters?
GodofDestruction: WTF?!? I THOUGHT YOU SIGNED UP JUST LIKE EVERYONE ELSE!?!?
QueenofNavigation: Boi I never told you?!?!? I hacked the pentagon, got my dumbass busted, then was told to work for HQ for like the rest of my life as “community service”
GodofDestruction: WHAT ABOUT ALL THAT SHIT ABOUT THE RESEARCH FACILITY AND GATE
QueenofNavigation: Completely true but also a cover up for the real truth
GodofDestruction: WFT?!?! I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU?!?!?
QueenofNavigation: Clearly not as well as you thought
theREALcharlesXavier: She’s also not legally allowed to touch a computer but the Commander thinks that’s bullshit so now she’s our Computer Science Specialist and Head of Navigations
GodofDestruction: ARE THERE PEOPLE NOT CHECKING TO SEE IF SHE’S ON A COMPUTER?!?!?
QueenofNavigation: There were but when they found out, the Commander pretty much told them to f off said that I could do more good this way
theREALcharlesXavier: There was a HUGE fight between the Commander and the gov over it. Eventually Signas won
GodofDestruction: the hell? Every day, I swear, I learn that you are NOT the person I thought you were Alia
QueenofNavigation: >:D
GodofDestruction: HOLY HELL X
GodofDestruction: THAT CAKE IS BIGGER THAN AXL’S FACE
THATonefriend: Y is my face the one being used for comparison?
THATonefriend: like Zero’s is bigger
QueenofNavigation: You’ve made the effort to notice that?
THATonefriend: my systems are constantly scanning shit
THATonefriend: Like how do you think my powers work?
QueenofNavigation: . . . . I thought you only got that kind of information from your copy shot
THATonefriend: Copy shot is mostly for internal systems
THATonefriend: I can copy appearances though without copy shooting them to some degree. Won’t move or act like them though
GodofDestruction: This is y youre class S
GodofDestruction: U can casually mention incredibly terrifying abilities
QueenofNavigation: IM COMING BOIS
theREALcharlesXavier: Already?
QueenofNavigation: Signas told me to return to my “duties” as head of navigation and that he would handle the rest. We all know that he was really telling me to leave and check on Z
theREALcharlesXavier: Sounds like him. We’re in my room. Z and Axl are already engaged in racing warfare
QueenofNavigation: Sweet