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JAIME LANNISTER SEEN ESCORTING SUPERSTAR SISTER TO PREMIERE - IS THE LANNISTER SCION BACK IN THE FOLD?

Jaime Lannister was seen escorting his sister, Cersei Lannister (ex-wife of media mogul Robert Baratheon, wife of controversial auteur Rhaegar Targaryen, and subject of much debate among feminist circles) to the premiere of Nine Nights in Naath. While the less is said about the movie, the better, we just can’t stop wondering what is up with Jaime, who disappeared from public appearances shortly after the court convicted him for the manslaughter… read more

hicrybyebyebaby
ok im outing myself as a young’in……. this jamie guy is hot but why is everyone freaking out about his return? i heard he actually killed someone you guys deadass be stanning a murderer huh

🔁 magicschmagic
OH BABY
Okay, here’s Schmagic’s Primer for the Only Valid Man that is Jaime Lannister

• It’s Jaime, not Jamie. Like the Myrish word for I Love (J’aime)
• Jaime Lannister is hot. This is true, and will always be true. But we don’t stan him for his looks.
• Let’s be clear: we are thirsty for his looks. This man is the most beautiful man known to humanity. There are actual journalistic articles (though that word has loose meanings these days) that will mention how this guy is even more beautful than his photos, because No Camera Is Strong Enough
• Back in the day, he did some modelling and a lot of PR for Casterly. We, my children, were fed some fucking good food.
• But. BUT. He went out of the public view for about four-ish years. And we despaired. Yes, he vanished because probably the media attention was getting too much after he beat Aerys Targaryen to death… but that’s why we miss him. because he manslaughtered a guy (is that a word? Imma make that a word.)
• So this guy Jaime beat to death? He’s a rapist. Five years ago a few actresses started coming forward, alleging that he’s coerced them to: do sexual acts in exchange for roles, threatening to sink their projects, cornering them in the bathroom area of public events… etc. Look up Aerys Targaryen (Yes, Rhaegar’s dad). CW for literally everything this walking shitstain has ever done.
• Aerys had a production house and could launch or kill a celeb’s career with nothing but a flick of his grotty fingers. It took decades before any of these news came to light.
• But then more and more women started coming forward. Many of them had supporting evidence, very detailed account and the exact time it happened, supporting testimonies…
• However, you know how difficult it is to get justice with regards to sex crimes. Even more so when it’s against a rich, powerful villain.
• Enter Jaime Lannister.
• Aerys was holding a wrap party for his company’s Most Ambitious Movie Of The Year. (Fantastic Ambitions is a film that… oh boy. Thats a whole different tl;dr, and not relevant to this story.)
• The party was held at his house. Now, Jaime was… he’s friends with Elia Martell, and Elia was still married to Rhaegar back then, though everyone knew of his affair with Lyanna S. And Jaime had heard of some very unsettling things about how Aerys behaved around her. He never outright… touched her, so to speak, but it’s still bad.
• So Jaime went, a little tipsy, to talk to Aerys. Who was in the non-party area of the house. Beating his wife.
• Jaime went, interfered, Aerys retaliated, but one of em’s a hunk and the other’s an old, old man. So, Jaime won. And sort of shoved Aerys down the stairs, killing him. (As an aside, look up the coroner report because… it’s unclear if the death happened before or after the fall.)
• Rhaella Targaryen testified in Jaime’s favour at court, and though he was convicted for manslaughter, they let him go for community service. For the women who spoke out against Aerys, though… the manslaughter was community service.
• And that is why we stan Jaime Lannister. Not because he killed a guy, but because he did so protecting a woman. I, for one, welcome the incoming onslaught of Jaime pics that heralds his return.

🔁 lyannalionslayer
Sure, he did all that… but he also only acted once everyone spoke out against Aerys. And let’s not forget that his dad bribed the judge so he doesn’t go to jail. And that his comeback is basically accompanying his sister, who’s not only sexist, classist, xenophobic, and homophobic, but also the wife of the very problematic son of Aerys himself.

In short, no, Jaime Lannister is not the dreamboat this hellish website wants you to believe.

Source: hicrybyebyebaby
#this site really has low standards huh #just because he’s a lil pretty #he’s friends and family with heinous people and that makes him just as bad #also psa #stop romanticising true crime
4,283 notes

TEN BEACH PHOTOS OF JAIME LANNISTER WITH TEN DIFFERENT BABES ON HIS ARM

In case you haven’t heard, the Lannister heir is back. Here’s a reminder of how much of a snack he is. (No. 7 has his tear-and-share-bread abs in full view!) Go To Slideshow or scroll down for the full list.

unemployed classic lit grad student @meowbeoneday
you gUYS finally someone got the myth right raven.tube/watch/YjsUh83Ndk4
2,540 likes 1,936 retweet

NissaNissa Deserves Better @l1ghtbringer
@meowbeoneday Excuse me that animated cover art is WILD
422 likes

unemployed classic lit grad student @meowbeoneday
@l1ghtbringer if you think the singer isn't also the most feral thing this side of the century we're no longer mutuals
73 likes

Mark @mmullett
@meowbeoneday actually the reading that nissa2 is lightbringer itself is not only some feminist reading that has no place in the original lore, but also unoriginal as hell. Nice art, tho. Music’s just ok. Harp’s a tad gimmicky
46 likes

NissaNissa Deserves Better @l1ghtbringer
@meowbeoneday @mmullett UM ACTUALLY no one asked you, dungeon crawler. Go back inside before the sunlight burns your mole butt skin.
270 likes

goldenhand [03:16]
hey
hey rohanne
i hv a great idea
what if we buy an ad on raventube fo ur song
that way web tnrhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

goldenhand [03:18]
sry i fell asleep on my keyboard
ANYWAY
ad, yay or nay

Rohanne Storm [05:37]
GOLDENHAND, NO.

goldenhand [05:37]
no to the ad or the falling asleep

Rohanne Storm [05:38]
Both. No to both.
Brb, shower.
Wait. How are you already up again?

Rohanne Storm [06:00]
You didn’t sleep, did you.

Rohanne Storm [06:13]
I was hoping you’re not replying because you're asleep, but I can see you and your little green dot.

Rohanne Storm [06:15]
I KNOW YOU JUST TURNED YOUR STATUS TO INVISIBLE. GO TO SLEEP.

goldenhand [06:15]
bully to u
fiiiiine i didnt sleep but also
cant oversleep if u dint sleep at all

Rohanne Storm [06:17]
Oh my gods, how are you an actual living adult?

goldenhand [06:19]
early childhood parental loss
mildly emotionally abusive parenting
priviledged lifestyle means im rich and so harder to kill but my life still sux
u kno how it is

goldenhand [06:25]
uve been typing and deleting for like 6 mins now
its ok. my life is what it is.
ur making it better
really. even before we talked u helped plenty with ur audiobooks and music
anyway ur also right def no ad we dont want people hating ur song because they gotta listen to 15 secs of it b4 they get to the vid they wanna watch

Rohanne Storm [06:30]
If you promise to sleep properly tonight, I’ll send you the first five chapters of the Ghiscari Wars audiobook.
Okay, I have to go to school. Talk later!

goldenhand [09:48]
ud be glad to know that i fell asleep for a solid 3 hrs and so i demand that audiobook now
or at ur earliest convenience
have a good day dont let the kids eat u

Rohanne Storm [11:32]
I’m not giving it to you now.
You’ll listen to it at work.

goldenhand [11:34]
only if u count listening to my dad about some money stuff “work”

Rohanne Storm [11:35]
Isn’t it?

goldenhand [11:36]
pls
rohanne storm
my muse, my siren
i’d much rather listen to *your* voice

[download attachment: five ghiscari wars pt 1 - 36.2 mb]

goldenhand [11:59]
ur the best
<3

the fall of the last harpy

Excellent news: I got my hands on Rohanne Storm’s new audiobook. She narrates The Five Ghiscari Wars and as usual, she does it beautifully. She hasn’t uploaded it to the masses, but yours truly has somehow befriended her (me? Having friends? Inconceivable!) and being friends with your muse comes with excellent perks. I can’t resist drawing the scene where the last harpy in the world died in the war. Content warning for blood and mild gore, there.

If you like this art, which you damn well should, check out the audiobook, which will be posted on Rohanne’s blog and toss a coin to her! This audiobook has successfully killed her laptop, and though she’s gotten a replacement for it, she still has installments to pay in the future, and every silver stag helps.

Peace out.

Classical_Fan
Hey, been following you for a while. Do you take commissions?

goldenhand
@Classical_Fan never have, not inclined to, why?

Classical_Fan
Ah, too bad. I was going to commission artwork for a book I’m writing, but if you’re not doing commissions then that’s okay, cheers!

goldenhand
@Classical_FAN dm me and we’ll talk

To: Martyn Sand ([email protected])
From: Rohanne Storm ([email protected])
Subject: FW: martynsand tossed you a coin!

Dear Mr Sand,
I am writing on the generous donation you made to my tip jar. You wrote, in the comment section, ‘commission payment’, but I do not take any commissions. I’m afraid you have mistakenly sent the money my way, when it should be someone else’s—please contact me so I can transfer it back to you via your preferred channel.

Best Regards,
Rohanne Storm

see forwarded mail

Rohanne Storm [22:13]
Goldenhand. Can we talk?

goldenhand [22:13]
ofc, whatsup

goldenhand [22:17]
ur still typing?????????
ah shit ur mad arnt u
this is about the money isnt it

Rohanne Storm [22:18]
I would appreciate it if, in the future, you don’t treat me like a charity case. Yes, I had to buy a new laptop, but I’m not so poor I can’t handle the installments myself, especially after your very generous donation that precipitated our first encounter. To accept a commission work, charge extravagantly, and have the money be transferred directly into my account is not as flattering as you think it is. I appreciate your friendship and continued support, but if this is to continue, then there will be no more sneak donations, manipulating other people to give me money, and actually, no more of you giving me money. We have a perfectly workable arrangement with the music video, and more and more of our content is collaborations of one way or another, and so I won’t have you giving me money as though I am beneath you, rather than an equal.

goldenhand [22:29]
sry, took me a while to read all that
so ur sayin that if i give u gifts, not money, its ok?

Rohanne Storm [22:30]
That wasn’t my point at all.
Stop trying to buy me things. Stop trying to buy my friendship.
Stop trying to buy me.

goldenhand [22:32]
i wasnt
i want to facilitate ur work
thats it

Rohanne Storm [22:34]
I’m going to bed.
I have a rehearsal first thing.

goldenhand [22:34]
gnite

goldenhand [04:19]
gmornin
tell the lil tykes to break a leg

Rohanne Storm [05:31]
Get some sleep.

Recent Tabs

grand piano size - Ravensearch

normal piano size - Ravensearch

Best Pianos of the Decade, from Classics to Cutting-Edge - Bardically.com

tall pianist woman gets played like an instrument - thelittlefinger.br

harp instrument - Ravensearch

valerian harp - Ravensearch

how to apologies - Ravensearch

how apologise via text - Ravensearch

AITA for sneaking money into my struggling artist friends account? - Bluedit.net

Signup - tossacoin.com

The Five Ghiscari Wars Audiobook

I’ve finally completed editing this massive audiobook—by far the longest thing I’ve ever narrated! Find it here on Weirwood Dreams. 

To new listeners: welcome. I understand that many of you are here from either Goldenhand’s blog or the Lightbringer music video. I hope you don’t find my more regular content underwhelming, and I hope you like this little corner of the internet where I try to make music and narrate classical, public domain audiobooks.

I want to thank Goldenhand for his support and sometimes borderline unethical means to promote my work. I also want to return the favor: Goldenhand has started opening for art commissions. If you want your own custom art, go to him. If you don’t really want to, but you still want to support his work, he’s made his own tossacoin.

Have a good summer!

goldenhand
R u still mad at me

Rohanne Storm
@goldenhand no.

goldenhand
Pls dont sulk :-(

goldenhand [14:08]
rohanne
babe
muse of my dreams
how big is ur place

Rohanne Storm [14:21]
Stop texting under the table and listen to your dad.

goldenhand [14:22]
:-(
yes teach

Rohanne Storm [14:21]
It’s small.
Too small for me, even.

goldenhand [14:23]
ur tall then?

Rohanne Storm [14:25]
More than I’d wished I were, growing up.
Now I think I’m just about as big as I need to be, but still too big for my flat.
What about you, any past growing pains?

goldenhand [14:26]
nah, im hot & always been
but my dad thought i was an idiot cuz i cant read
dyslexia is fun amirite

Rohanne Storm [14:26]
I’m sorry.

goldenhand [14:27]
dont be
wudnt hv found u otherwise

Rohanne Storm [14:28]
I like to think your nerdery will find me eventually.

goldenhand [14:28]
excuSE ME
dads glaring gotta go brb
BUT THIS ISNT OVR

To: Brienne Tarth ([email protected])
From: Shireen Baratheon ([email protected])
Subject: Request for letter of recommendation

Hi Ms Tarth,
I’m applying for the Highgarden Conservatoire’s Young Singer Summer Programme. Elia Martell — oh my gods she’s so nice, miss, can you believe?! — has offered to sponsor me, but I also need a letter of recommendation from a school teacher. Since you’re my favourite teacher, and also the only music teacher at school, will you please write me this letter?

Thanks,
Shireen

Summer’s Here, I Wrote a New Song, and I Need Your Help.

I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait for summer break. I’ve had less and less time to practice lately; some vacation time will do my music good. Plus, I just finished writing a new song titled The Perfect Knight. It’s a ballad about the Blue Knight and her pine shield, and when Goldenhand got the demo he insisted on releasing it in the form of a video.

And, if you’ve been here in the past three months or so, you know we’ve been waiting for an excuse to do another collaboration. Click here to see all the cover art he’s made for my older music and here for the Lightbringer music video.

The Perfect Knight is a little more upbeat than my usual fare, and I still haven’t decided on the best arrangement, and the recording and sound mixing are going to be a lot—at least I have a new laptop now—which means it’ll take a while before we can show you. However, it also means that Goldenhand will have more time to work on the video.

One problem: we can’t decide on a concept, so vote on the poll below on what kind of video you want to see!

POLL - What kind of music video do you want to see from Goldenhand?
◯ Simple animation of one single frame (see the Lightbringer music video)
◯ Animatic depicting the Blue Knight’s adventure
◯ Lyric video
◯ Whichever one lets Goldenhand sleep regularly

goldenhand
ha, funny

Rohanne Storm
@goldenhand I’m very serious. If you die from sleep deprivation, I’ll have to find some other artist to call me his muse and make videos for my music, and that just sounds bothersome.

goldenhand
ill die before u can replace me

Rohanne Storm
@goldenhand Yes, that was what I was saying.

goldenhand [23:09]
dont replace me :-(

Rohanne Storm [23:10]
Then don’t die.

goldenhand [23:10]
noone ever dies from a lil less sleep

Rohanne Storm [23:11]
[citation needed]

goldenhand [23:11]
ur snippy today
long day?

Rohanne Storm [23:13]
Sorry, yeah. A student wants me to write a letter of recommendation for her summer school application.
It’s not going well.

goldenhand [23:17]
ur great at writing tho

Rohanne Storm [23:18]
I’m passable at writing song lyrics. I’m practically useless at whatever skill is necessary for a letter of recommendation.
Marketing?
Gods, no, that makes her sound like a product. From a pyramid scheme.

goldenhand [23:21]
if its ur fav student, u’ll do fine
hard to oversell a girl that good, u kno?

Rohanne Storm [23:22]
I guess. I just want her to get in the programme, you know?
Though I suppose my recommendation won’t mean much anyway, considering her sponsor is Elia Martell.

goldenhand [23:26]
sry for the delayed replys
hard typing & drawing at the same time u hear
elia huh?
ur student must be real good

Rohanne Storm [23:28]
She is.
Sorry, I won’t keep you from drawing. I better figure this letter out, anyway.

goldenhand [23:33]
nooo dont
i wanna chat
...can i just call u?

Rohanne Storm [23:40]
Ok

Brienne watches her phone ring. It’s just Goldenhand. He’s heard her voice before. It’ll be okay. So what if he’s never heard her as herself before? They’ve chatted. And sure, when chatting she can take her time to compose a reply, but surely phone calls aren’t that bad? And he’s not a bad guy. A little clueless, a little clingy, too much money for his own good and not enough sleep, but it’ll be fine.

Right?

She reaches for the phone just as it stops ringing.

The screen goes dark, then lights up with a notification.

goldenhand [23:44]
sry
we can just chat if ur not comfortable

Somehow, she can imagine him. Not his physical form, or his voice—she knows nothing of these things—but his thoughts, the way he telegraphs his own hesitation even through badly spelled texts. This text means he thinks it’s him making her uncomfortable, rather than her own anxieties eating herself out from the inside.

She already gave him a hard time over his shenanigans with her tip box. He deserved all the brow-beating, but she didn’t want him to think that they weren’t, in fact, friends. She would have cut him loose, if she didn’t care for him.

Before Brienne can second-guess herself, she calls him first.

Goldenhand picks up on the first ring, his voice almost breathless when he says, “Rohanne, hi.”

“Hi,” she says, jumping off her bed and abandoning her notebook and pen. Somehow, she’s breathless too.

“Hi,” he says again. His voice is… normal. She doesn’t know what she expects. He sounds like any man she might run into at the gym, at a cafe, anywhere. And yet.

“You already said hi,” she says. She clears her throat. She doesn’t know why. It’s like all the words she doesn’t say dries in her mouth like sand. “So, uh. How’s your night going?” Gods, are they back to small talk?

“Much better, now that I can do two of my favourite things at once.”

“Drawing and…?” She starts pacing, walking from the kitchen sink to the shoe rack, back and forth, back and forth. From his side, she hears a scratching sound. His drawing, if she has to guess. The rhythm is soothing, short bursts of scratches, a long swooping one. She wonders what he’s drawing, but she knows she’ll find out soon anyway.

She can hear him grinning from the other end as he says, “Talking to you, of course.”

Seven help her, she’s blushing. “Very smooth,” she says. “That line must get you all the ladies.”

“I don’t make a habit of saying that to other women. Just my muse.”

Brienne’s ear is burning up, and it’s not the phone. “It’s almost midnight. I have to get to bed.”

Goldenhand clears his throat, then, “Right. Sorry for keeping you.”

She stops pacing. “No. No, it’s fine. Next time, just call me earlier.”

He’s quiet again. Did he think she was pushing him away? Technically, she is, but only because she feels as if she will combust if she stays on the line. She looks down to her concert tee and running shorts. It doesn’t matter, since he can’t see her anyway, but somehow she feels exposed, underdressed. Unprepared.

So yes, she’s pushing him away, but she hopes he can tell that it’s not him. She hopes he won’t be deterred from calling again.

“I’ll do that,” he says, eventually.

She feels her entire body relax. “Yeah. Great.”

He asks, “Morning class tomorrow?”

“Thankfully I have the first two periods free, so I can just be half-awake in the teachers’ lounge, let the caffeine wake me up, and give this letter another shot. You?” Caffeine, right. She walks to the fridge, inspecting her cold brew. She still has enough for tomorrow.

“Eh.” In Goldenhand speak, that means he’s going to sleep as the sun is rising, and get to work in the afternoon. What a life, being the heir to a corporate dynasty. She wonders how rich he actually is, and stops her train of thought there—such contemplations won’t end well.

“Right.” She sighs. “Sleep earlier for my sake?”

“Sure,” he says, and she knows for certain it’s a lie. She can hear it.

It really is late, however, and she’s too tired and flustered to argue, so she simply says, “Well, good night then, Goldenhand.”

“Jaime,” he says, quick. “My name’s Jaime.”

“Jaime,” she says, tasting his name on her tongue. It feels better than saying Goldenhand. She doesn’t think when she says, “I’m Brienne.”

“Brienne. Brienne, Brienne, Brienne.” His inflection changes a little, with every repetition. “That’s a pretty name. I think I like it better than Rohanne.”

Something feels like danger there, that he now knows Brienne, too, and not only Rohanne, but it’s too late to regret her decision and so she ignores the alarm. “I’d disagree, but I do really need to get to bed. Good night, Jaime.”

“Sleep well, Brienne.”

She doesn’t. Sleep well, that is, or even at all. All night, she hears Goldenhand’s—no, Jaime’s—voice in her head, going Brienne, Brienne, Brienne, and in the morning she calls in sick for the first time since she started working at Baelor.