Chapter Text
Gou opened the room’s door slowly; he took a chair and sat down, staring at his sleeping crush. There were so many things he wanted to tell him and still, he remained silent for a few more seconds.
Finally, he took a plastic box out of his backpack
“I cooked this in the microwave” he said, opening the box and revealing a portion of Ash’s favorite stew “I thought a familiar smell could bring you back…”
The trainer didn’t reply and Gou approached him, touching his white face
“You have no idea how hard is seeing you like this, Ash. You’re not smiling, you’re not laughing, your body seems so fragile and cold, and you’ve lost your color…”
The researcher wiped the first of many tears that fell down his face and continued:
“I miss your color so much; I miss the happiness and joy you brought into my life…”
A figure moved on top of Ash’s bed. Gou extended his arms and picked up an awaken Pikachu.
“Pika…” he electric mouse muttered
“Sorry for waking you up, Pikachu” Gou sadly commented “It’s just… I still believe my voice can bring him back. It had that power, remember? My voice could make him lose focus and also gave him the willpower to do anything he wanted”
“Pika-Pikapi” the Pokemon agreed
“I’m trying anything I can think of, Ash…” Gou whispered, redirecting his sight towards his boyfriend “Everyone is, last night, Tapu Fini came and put some magical dust on your forehead”
He moved Ash’s hair away, staring at the pink spot in his face
“That doesn’t seem to be working, either”
Ash’s breath didn’t even hitch, but Gou pretended he could hear him, so he continued
“Lucario, Gengar, Intelleon, Dragonite and my Pokemon sent you their regards, again. They keep… you know, hoping, you’ll be able to get through this. You’ll be happy to know that they’re okay. I reached an agreement with Team Rocket, our Pokemon are off-limits for them for the time being, and Jessie even said that once you wake up, things will be normal again, so you should be prepared”
“I really hope she’s right, it’s all I want, for things to be normal again”
Gou squeezed the other boy’s hand, and fighting back the tears, kept talking
“I had a dream last night” he explained, his cheeks acquiring a deep shade of red “We were doing… things, things we aren’t suppose to be doing, we’re only sixteen after all. But… I do hope we can do those things together at some point in the future”
“Pika?” the electric Pokemon asked, curious
“I can’t say it aloud” Gou commented, biting his lip “It’s like really private”
Gou took a moment for himself and picked up his phone, calling Sakuragi Institute
“Any news?” the boy hopefully asked
Sakuragi denied with his head, saddened
“I’m sorry Gou, no new sightings… Tell Ash we’re trying our best, please”
The teen faked a smile and ended the call
“Did you hear that?” he commented “They’re trying, I swear, we want to find Jirachi, so I can ask him to bring you back…”
For a moment, he smiled
“Hopefully, you won’t even need Jirachi; you’ll be able to wake up on your own”
The researcher took his boyfriend’s hand and planted a soft kiss on it. It was so, so cold… He went silent for a few seconds, he needed that silence, he closed his eyes and pretended everything was fine.
He imagined he was silently watching Ash sleeping on his own bed, back at the Institute, like he used to do years ago. For a moment, he believed it.
But when he opened his eyes, he returned to that cruel reality.
“My Champion, everyone all over the world knows what you’re going through, every single one of them needs to see you back, battling, winning, cheering for your victories”
“Every single one of them needs you, but no one needs you more than me”
The Vermillion City native rummaged through his backpack once again, pulling out a Destiny Knot.
“Remember this?” he said, putting the knot in Ash’s hands “It’s our knot, it’s our destiny, please, remember that we are fated to be together…”
“Please” he insisted “Nurse Joy tells me everyday how low the chance of you waking up is, but I don’t care, you beat the odds so many times before, I just ask you for that, one more time… Please”
“The last thing I want to see” he said, swallowing hard “It’s your name written on a tombstone, I hate to admit it, but I dream about that a lot, too…”
He denied with his head, he couldn’t say those things in front of Ash, so he quickly changed the topic; he touched his boyfriend’s face with the fabric of his t-shirt and commented:
“I noticed that night when you took my t-shirt to smell it, you know? And I'm quite sure it wasn’t only one night”
“Pika?” Pikachu questioned
“Yes, really… And I did the same… I always loved your fragrance, Ash, I loved… I still love, everything about you”
“I love when you make me blush” he continued “When you kiss my cheeks, when you tell me about your past… I need you to keep telling me those things, I need you to come back, to not be absent from my life anymore…”
“I need this routine to stop, I need to stop coming here to check you up, I’m going to do it until you wake up, but I really need it to stop, every time Koharu, or Sakuragi ask me what I’m doing today, I always say, ‘I’m going to see Ash’. I want to say something else, for once”
“I want to say, Ash and I will go to explore a cavern, to swim at the beach, to kiss at the top of a lighthouse, to do… all sorts of stuff with you”
“I need to stop dreaming about the future, and I need to stop living it, with you by my side”
“I want to feel your soft, warm lips against mine once again, I want you to take care of me, to mend my broken heart, to heal my wounds and pains like you’ve done so many times already…”
“Your body is so still right now, even your sweet spots don’t feel sweet anymore. Your nose doesn’t twitch when I kiss it; your arms stay limp at your sides, your neck is frozen… It’s like you don’t want me around anymore”
“Pika! Pikapi!” Pikachu interrupted him
“You’re right buddy; I’m being gloomy again…”
Gou hugged Pikachu and closed his eyes, trying once again to cheer up
“I know once you wake up you’ll be pretty tired and you’ll have lost a lot of your natural strength, but I really want you to carry me around the institute, the bedroom, the park, like you used to do in the past. I’m longing to feel your arms wrapped around my body again, protecting me, shielding me from any danger…”
“I really want to see you trying your best to understand how to be romantic, having those little lovely gestures that are so… yours. Sharing our little secret dates on the Institute once again. I really want to know if you want that too”
Gou squeezed Ash’s hand under the covers and looked at his face, hope returning to his heart for a moment.
“You want that too, right Ash?”
The trainer didn’t move a muscle
“We need to go back to spend the nights kissing and cuddling, don’t you think? Annoying Pikachu, Cinderace and even Koharu with our loud noises”
“Pika!” the Pokemon agreed, also remembering those times
“I want to have more pictures with you, this time we spent apart from each other, all these weeks with you not waking up, now I’m afraid I don’t have enough memories with you… I want to build new ones with you, to capture even more moments close to you…”
Ash didn’t reply, but Gou insisted
“We have to explore the whole world again, ok? Except for the caves, I don’t want any more caves, no more darkness, no more cold, please…”
“Or maybe, maybe we could return to a cave sometimes, but only if you promise to hug me, so I don’t feel cold… I would face any storm, any peril, if that guarantees me that your arms will be waiting for me at the finishing line. I miss your strong, firm arms… I miss your hugs so much…”
“I miss your praising every time I explain how a computer works, or how I’m working on a really complicated code, I miss you telling me how smart I am, how cute I look when I give you an explanation…”
“I need you closer, now more than ever, Ash… I need you to wake up so you can care for me, love me, kiss me, like you used to do, I need your reassurance, I need to hear you telling me there’s nothing wrong with being in love with you, because you love me too…”
“I need your goofiness back in my life; I need to see you pretending to know how to dance, only to embarrass yourself on the dance floor, dragging me with your charm and your stupid antics. I need that dumb smile of you back…”
“You said to me once that there was nothing to fear… Come back and say it again, I beg you, from the bottom of my heart Ash… Chase my fears away, only you know how to do it”
Ash didn’t respond and Gou burst into tears once again
“I’ve been meaning to ask Gengar or Mismagius if they can try to possess you, to see if they can find some clue in your mind about when or how to wake you up… But it feels so wrong, I trust, I believe you can wake up on your own”
“But I’m also afraid… So afraid, this whole thing is my fault, and I’m scared that once you wake up you blame me for what happened. I mean, how could you not?”
The Vermillion City teenager closed his eyes and remembered that tragic morning again. That wild Bastiodon in the middle of the field, that excitement he felt when he gripped his Pokeball, ready to throw it at the creature.
“Try to weaken it first, he looks very powerful” Ash whispered behind him
Gou didn’t listen, of course he didn’t, and that was his mistake. He throw the Pokeball at the creature and the object didn’t even shake once, Bastiodon broke free, and before he could throw another one, the Shield Pokemon charged full speed against him.
The boy had barely one second to protect himself, until he felt Ash pushing him away; he received the impact instead, falling to the ground, unconscious.
He never woke up again.
Gou shook his head, he was going to wake up, he had to, the teen focused on his boyfriend’s features and whispered.
“I’ve been thinking about something else, since the moment I met you, I never sang to you, so I thought maybe, if I did something different for you, then you’d do something different for me, like waking up instead of keep dreaming…”
“I heard this song yesterday, you know? I don’t even know where I heard it; it was like it just popped up into my head…”
“But I want you to hear it, Ash…”
You had to kill the conversation
You always had the upper hand
Got caught in love and stepped in sinking sand
You had to go and ruin all our plans
Why did he have to protect him? Why did he have to jump in front of that Bastiodon, almost ending his existence? Why did he love him so much to risk his life in such a way?
Packed your bags and you're leaving home
Got a one-way ticket and you're all set to go
But we have one more day together, so
There was still hope, right?
He had to believe his significant other could pull through this; he would wake up, emerging victorious from yet another battle, completing a near-impossible challenge once again….
Love me like there's no tomorrow
Hold me in your arms, tell me you mean it
This is our last goodbye and very soon it will be over
But today just love me like there's no tomorrow
It could be over any moment now. It could end in just a second, and all he would have to hold onto would be the experience he shared with the love of his life.
But nothing else, nothing at all…
I guess we drift alone in separate ways
I don't have all that far to go
God knows I learnt to play the lonely man
I've never felt so low in all my life
How could he not feel that way? So powerless, so useless, so unable to prevent a fate that seemed inevitable with each passing day?
We were born to be just losers
So I guess there's a limit on how far we go
But we only have one more day together so
Ash lost so many battles, so many chances to become a Champion, with more achievements…
Gou lost so many catches, so many chances to become a better person, with more friends…
They were made for each other; they couldn’t lose each other, not now, not like this…
Love me like there's no tomorrow
Hold me in your arms, tell me you mean it
This is our last goodbye and very soon it will be over
But today just love me like there's no tomorrow
“Please…” The boy hesitated to say a word he almost never said, but at this point, he didn’t care
“Please….” He repeated “Wake up, my love, please…”
Tomorrow god knows just where I'll be
Tomorrow who knows just what's in store for me
Anything can happen but we only have one more day together, yeah
Just one more day forever, so
He hoped it would be more than just one day, but if this was all they had left, then he would stay at that hospital room, right until the very end…
Love me like there's no tomorrow
Hold me in your arms, tell me you mean it
This is our last goodbye and very soon it will be over
But today just love me like there's no tomorrow
Once the song was over, Gou looked at Ash.
There was no change…
But a second later, something did change, an alarm started to blare in the room.
“Ash?” the teenager asked
He took a look at the monitor, the green line that indicated Ash’s vitals was spiking, he rushed outside and shouted:
“Nurse! Nurse Joy!”
He looked back at the monitor. A flat green line confirmed the worst suspicion…
“Ash!” he shouted into the void
Maybe it was too late…
“Ash!”
Maybe he didn’t deserve a happy ending
“Ash!”
Maybe he had to carry the guilt of killing the love of his life for the rest of his days…
“Ash!”
“Gou!”
The Vermillion City teen opened his eyes, only to find the face of Ash Ketchum looking at him, tears running down his face.
“You’re awake…” he whispered
Gou looked at himself; he was the one lying in bed, with the vial connected to his arm, with his body hurting and weak.
Oh.
He suddenly remembered.
He was the one who took Bastiodon’s hit.
Looking around, he noticed Pikachu and Cinderace sleeping in the bed right next to him, surrounded by Ash’s clothes.
Staring at his boyfriend, he noticed the bags under his eyes, his unkempt hair, and his terrible smell.
“It’s been two months” he simply said
“You waited for me… for two months?” Gou whispered
Ash nodded and his boyfriend threw at his arms
“Were you singing?” Gou questioned, realizing Cinderace and Pikachu were awake, quickly jumping to his bed to greet him back
“Did you hear me?” Ash countered
For all response, Gou muttered
“Love me like there’s no tomorrow…”
Ash hugged him and completed:
“Hold me in your arms, tell me you mean it…”
THE END