Chapter Text
It had been far too long since Ingrid felt sand between her toes. Classes, missions, and dealing with her friends’ antics had kept her far too busy. Every little step—every little breath of salty sea air—felt like she was in heaven. Especially since she was holding Dorothea’s hand as they walked.
She and Dorothea had held hands plenty of times since their relationship started, but never while walking along the beach. To her, it was something directly out of those romance novels that Dorothea had recommended to her ten times over… But she wouldn’t have it any other way.
Her smile glistened in the night like diamonds, and even though she had been caked in makeup, the natural blush across her cheeks was still very visible. She knew. She knew Dorothea knew—and probably was chuckling a bit inside—but, for once, she hardly cared.
She squeezed Dorothea’s hand as they made their way along the shoreline. As they sat, they didn’t think twice before leaning in and giving each other a quick kiss on the lips. She saw the happiness light up like a candle in her girlfriend’s emerald eyes, and nothing made her happier.
They didn’t speak immediately after, only stared, lost in each other's dreamy gaze. Ingrid’s heart pounded as it usually did—so violently she felt as if it would burst against her rib cage. Her face ablaze with embarrassment, she looked away and let out a loud nervous laugh that sounded like an animal being strangled; Dorothea laughed in turn.
“Getting shy again, dear?” she asked, her slender fingers running along Ingrid’s braid.
“Oh shush,” Ingrid said, rolling her eyes. As she spoke again, her voice grew quieter. “You know I always get shy around you.”
Dorothea leaned forward and cupped her girlfriend’s chin. Before Ingrid even had time to react, she had already turned her head and pecked her on the nose. Her heart aflutter, Ingrid let out a soft whine; Dorothea stuck her tongue out.
“Please, Dorothea,” she begged, her voice cracking. “Go easy on me…”
Dorothea chuckled, nodding afterward. “Usually, I’d say ‘never,’ but since this date is my special gift to you, I’ll refrain from making you too red in the face. Oh, how I love to see my handiwork glisten in the moonlight. That cerulean eyeshadow is your color.”
Ingrid nodded in agreement. When she saw it in the mirror at home, she had to admit she did look pretty nice. She’d try to recreate it herself for outings with Dorothea… but she knew she had the hands of a dockworker, not an artist. Dorothea probably would want to keep painting her face anyway—it was clear to see that doing those things for her made her proud.
“Well, you’re the makeup specialist,” Ingrid said with a grin. “Thank you, Dorothea. There is something I’m slightly confused about, though.” She pointed to the roaring ocean, tilting her head. “Why’d you decide to bring me here?”
Dorothea frowned. “Do you not like the beach?”
“No, no!” Ingrid replied immediately upon noticing her reaction to the question, her voice cracking. “Well, yes, but no! Dorothea, the beach is lovely, but if you want to go swimming my makeup will run and be ruined.”
Dorothea placed her index finger beneath her bottom lip, gazing up at the night sky above. “I thought the beach would be lovely for a date, dear. Just enjoying ourselves, the sand between our toes, the sound of the ocean!” She giggled, shaking her head. “Oh, who am I kidding. I did say this date is my special gift from me to you. I want tonight to be special.”
Dorothea pulled her leather pilgrim’s bag from around her neck and set it onto the sand. When Ingrid noticed that she decided to bring it on their date, part of her knew that Dorothea had gotten something for her, but she didn’t really bother with wondering what it was. To her, the real gift was the time they spent together; to her. That was irreplaceable.
She pulled two sets of swimwear out of the bag—one wine red, the other a striking cornflower blue. She offered the blue one to Ingrid, who took it without hesitation. It didn’t take her long to recognize the small intricately-stitched pegasus on the sleeve, flapping its wings. Next to it, her name stitched in cursive—Ingrid Brandl Galatea. She loved it.
“Thank you, Dorothea,” Ingrid said, her smile twinkling like the stars above. “I… I don’t know what to say—but, as I said, my makeup will be ruined.”
Dorothea chuckled. “Oh, I know that, silly.” Her hands found themselves playing with Ingrid’s braid once again and she leaned in to gently peck her on the forehead. “You brought it up before, after all. And truthfully, we only have to go swimming if you want to. I won’t force you—but we can. I’m fine either way. I want to do what you want to do.”
“Oh, really?”
Ingrid pursed her lips, thinking it over time and time again. Part of her really wanted to swim. She had been slacking on her training lately and she rarely had the opportunity to have a good swim. On the other hand, Dorothea had worked so hard painting her face… She wanted to keep it for a little while longer.
When she finally made her decision, she let out a soft sigh and said, “We’re not swimming. If anything, we can wade through the ocean…” As she spoke again, her voice was near-silent. “M-Maybe holding hands…”
Dorothea’s eyes widened; Ingrid could tell she caught that. The songstress’ giggle was weak at first, but laughter soon spilled out with the force of water breaking through a dam. Ingrid’s cheeks lit up and she immediately turned away. She knew Dorothea didn’t mean to laugh like that… but she couldn’t help but feel embarrassed.
Upon realizing what she had done, Dorothea took Ingrid’s hands and held them, giving them a small squeeze. She gave each a small kiss and looked Ingrid right in her eyes. Even though Dorothea said a lot, it was usually her looks that spoke a thousand words; this one, a thousand apologies.
Ingrid had already forgiven her even before Dorothea whispered, “I’m sorry.”
Ingrid shrugged, a coy smile stretched across her face. “It was pretty funny.”
The two shared a sweet laugh whilst still holding hands. Dorothea finished first with a soft snort and leaned forward, rubbing her nose against Ingrid’s, who nearly choked on her own embarrassment. She nuzzled back, though, closing her eyes and puckering her lips, wishing for a kiss. She wasn’t kept for waiting long.
The kiss was just the simplest touch of the lips, but even that was enough to make her heartbeat erratic. No matter how many times they kissed, Ingrid was sure that moments like these would always get to her. The romantic moments filled with soft smiles, whimsical laughs, and fleeting kisses.
Ingrid, emboldened by how safe she felt with Dorothea, went for another quick kiss, nibbling on her bottom lip as she pulled away. The two opened their eyes and the look in Dorothea’s eyes was one that she couldn’t read. Too many emotions all in one look to decipher.
For a moment, she was worried that she had done something wrong. She attempted to reason with herself in her own head, coming up with idealized explanations as to why Dorothea had that incomprehensible look.
She’s just dazed. She’s a little winded from the kiss. She just… loves me so much.
Who was she kidding…? She had to have made her upset… Dorothea never took this long to react. Ingrid nearly cussed herself out in her head, but stopped once she heard the sound of giggling, sweet as birdsong; she had heard it so many times before.
Ingrid blinked, tempted to slap herself awake. Had she really not done something wrong? Before she knew it, her tongue had been pulled into a dance of passion with her girlfriend’s. It was sloppy, hurried, but they kissed without any care in the world.
Their eyes closed and their arms wrapped around each other’s necks, pulling each other closer. Even though the kiss had surprised Ingrid, it didn’t take her long to find her rhythm. She took the lead, swinging her tongue around Dorothea’s, who soon followed suit. A hasty improv had soon become a hypnotic, erotic waltz that felt intricately-practiced. Suffice to say, it was the best kiss Ingrid had ever had.
As she opened her eyes, she saw Dorothea, her cheeks red and eyes lidded; Ingrid knew no beautiful sighs. Their gazes hypnotized each other, and no matter how hard Ingrid tried, she couldn’t look away. Before she could even come out of her daze, Ingrid felt a hard bite against her neck and recoiled.
“Ow!” she yelled, placing a hand atop the bite mark.
Dorothea covered “Oh, I thought that was appropriate! Sorry!”
“It’s fine,” Ingrid reassured, turning her neck to the left. “Is it showing? Does it look like it’s going to show for a long time?”
Dorothea narrowed her eyes, leaning in closer. She took a second to examine the mark before shaking her head.
“No, it won’t,” she said. “There’s no need to worry, my dear Ingrid.”
Ingrid sighed in relief, her stiff shoulders loosening some. “Oh, thank the goddess. That’s good.”
Dorothea giggled, but Ingrid noticed something off about it. It wasn’t quite as sweet and playful as it usually was… It was more sorrowful? Ingrid wasn’t sure if she was hearing that right; maybe she had just been overthinking things again. But just in case, she smiled—the widest smile she could. She knew her smiles made Dorothea happy, and more than anything, she wanted that.
Dorothea cocked her head to the right. “Is everything all right? Your… your smile, Ingrid.”
“It looks unnatural, doesn’t it?” Ingrid sighed, defeated. “I… I shouldn’t have expected any different, honestly.”
Dorothea sat on the sand cross-legged and placed the swimsuits to the right of her before patting the space to the left. Ingrid didn’t waste any time and sat next to her, pulling her knees close to her chest as she stared at the glimmering ocean. Dorothea grabbed her hand and squeezed it, prompting her to switch her gaze towards her lover.
“Talk to me,” Dorothea pleaded. “Did I do or say something that made you upset? We need to communicate, Ingrid.”
“I know,” Ingrid said, closing her eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath. When she was finished, she reopened them and said, “I should be asking you that question. I was worried that I upset you somehow… and I didn’t want to see you upset.”
“So, you grinned like a monster out of a märchenoper?”
“I thought… I thought you’d feel better if I smile. I know my smiles always cheer you up. So, I was going for something of that effect.” She slapped a hand against her face, letting out a guttural groan. “I’m such an idiot.”
“Hey! No, you’re not!” Dorothea pulled her hand away from her face and stared her right in the eyes. Ingrid could see the sternness in her eyes, coupled with the jovial smile that she had seen time and time again. It was a collage of emotions and messages, all of which made Ingrid feel safe. “You’re a beautiful, smart, talented young woman! And sure, maybe it was the tiniest bit creepy, but I knew you had good intentions. And that’s all that matters. But most importantly, you’re my woman, my lover, my Ingrid. I love you. Never forget that.”
Her words were warm and soft like honey, and enough to make Ingrid tear up. She wiped her eyes with her thumb, blinking over and over. Part of her still didn’t want Dorothea to see her crying—not at this moment… She had gotten used to being the ‘responsible one’ in her group of friends that tears felt foreign to her; especially since she promised herself that she’d never cry again after she was finally able to come to terms with Glenn’s death.
But these tears were different. These tears felt good. Not because she needed to get something out, but because they made her feel like she just wanted to swing her arms around Dorothea and hug and kiss her. She felt secure; she felt cared for… Maybe she’d make an exception for these tears.
It felt like the goddess had heard her thoughts when Dorothea swung her arms around Ingrid, who wasted no time in reciprocating the hug. The tears were leaking from her eyes with the force of water draining from a hole in a barrel now; she didn’t even try to hold them back. She was sure that Dorothea would say something like, You don’t need to cry, Ingrid.
“Cry as much as you’d like, my dearest Ingrid.”
Ingrid didn’t need to be told twice. She allowed herself to be completely vulnerable with Dorothea, mumbling I love you over and over again like she couldn’t say anything else. Dorothea only chuckled whenever she did—each time, a melody.
Once Ingrid was finished, she pulled away from Dorothea’s grasp, her eyes puffy and red, and her heartbeat frantic, echoing the uncontrollable amount of love she was feeling.
“Thank you,” Ingrid said, her voice hoarse. “Thank you so much, Dorothea… I… I truly am speechless.”
“Oh, I know,” Dorothea giggled. “The number of times you said ‘I love you’ helped me realize that. Along with your true feelings, of course.”
Ingrid rolled her eyes. “As if there was any doubt.”
“There truly wasn’t.” Dorothea laid against the sand, staring up at the stars. “But it makes me feel happy, though. To know you love me so much… Happier than you’d ever know.” As she said that, a blinding smile across her lips and didn’t leave even turned her neck to look at Ingrid. “So, back on topic. Were you worried you had upset me somehow?”
Ingrid nodded. “Yes… I… was worried that I had done something to upset you.”
Dorothea pursed her lips, folding her arms. “Well, um, if we’re being honest with our feelings… You… you did upset me. Just a tiny bit.”
“What did I do!? How can I help fix it!?” Ingrid asked right after Dorothea had finished speaking; nearby sandpipers flew away from her volume alone.
She had tensed up again and was flexing her fingers against the sand. Her mind was racing, coming up with a multitude of reasons as to why she had upset Dorothea. Perhaps she had done something before today… She knew she shouldn’t have forgotten the milk at the store the other day.
A velvety hand placed atop hers made her calmer—and her lover’s demure grin more so—but that it only served to slow her thoughts, not stunt them.
“Slow down there, Ingrid,” Dorothea said with a soft chuckle. “You’re worrying too much again. It brings me back to what I said that night. As I said, the only time you’re worrying about yourself is when it relates to someone else. I’m not shaking my fist at you in comical anger going, ‘Grr, I hate you, Ingrid!’ am I?”
“No…”
“Well, don’t worry. I told you that I loved you just a little while ago and I meant it. That’s not going to change. And whenever we have a problem, we’re going to communicate, okay? Just like good couples should.”
Dorothea extended her pinky; Ingrid wrapped her pinky around her girlfriend’s and said, “Promise.”
“It’s a promise. Now, as I was saying, I was worried that you don’t want people seeing my bite marks or my lipstick all over you. That’s completely reasonable because I understand that it could be embarrassing and others would look at you differently if they saw you with those marks, but…” Dorothea frowned and let out a loud, depressive sigh. “But your reaction made me feel for a moment as if you wanted to hide me away forever… Like nobody will ever know about us—but I want people to know about us, Ingrid. I want to hold your hand and kiss you in public, and hell, even cook and clean for you without having to make up some excuse that’s not ‘I love you.’”
Hearing those words felt as if her heart had been battered by a club over and over again. Now, she really was speechless. What could she even say here? She pleaded with herself to say something, anything. There was nothing. Nothing she could say that’d make this better. Nothing she could do to stop the voices from her head from calling her useless. Nothing to put an end to her pain. Ingrid felt as if she was about to combust. She felt a second wave of tears coming, but gritted her teeth behind closed lips and held them back. This was nothing to cry over.
Tired of being inutile, Ingrid managed to get out two words. “Dorothea, I—”
“How much longer will we be ‘just friends,’ Ingrid?”
“Not for long!” Ingrid reassured. It was an instinctual reaction, but she wanted to mean it… She just wasn’t sure if that’d be the case; she hoped it’d be. “We’ll… be able to show our love soon!”
“Are you… afraid of this? Afraid of being with a commoner woman?”
Ingrid winced and turned away, her hand moving to grab Dorothea’s. She ran her thumb along Dorothea’s knuckles, silent for a few moments. She didn’t want to sit and stew in her own heartache trying to think about what to say, so she decided to say what was on her mind.
“Dorothea,” she started. “I love you… I know that this, um, is painful for you… And I understand it. It’s painful for me too. To not hug you and kiss you and do all the things we do behind closed doors at the monastery, but… I’m just not ready for other people to find out or for other people to see. I… have a lot to figure out. And I don’t mean that in a bad way, of course. Just… I want to be ready—to figure out my issues—before I’m ready to just… um, do that. Shoot, I am making zero sense…”
Ingrid slapped her hands against her face and Dorothea pulled them away. Her expression was sorrowful—the most sorrowful that Ingrid had seen. It made a pit in her stomach so deep that it made her sick to look at. But she couldn’t look away.
Dorothea squeezed her lover’s hands. “Ingrid, I… I’m sorry. I just let my insecurities fester and make me ugly. I… I didn’t mean to put you on the spot like that. There’s just so much stress from classes and—”
Ingrid shut her up with a kiss. She held it for a long time, but Ingrid wasn’t sure how long… She just focused on holding it long enough to make Dorothea calm again. She knew that there was probably a better way of doing it and cussed herself out in her head for not figuring it out, but this… felt right.
Once Dorothea kissed back and pulled away, she smiled. With a smile like hers, it was impossible that anything could make Dorothea ugly. It was a perfect smile that spread light to her eyes and Ingrid loved how Dorothea’s dimples could crinkle in such a way that made her heart race.
“You don’t need to explain, Dorothea,” Ingrid said, her voice stern, and yet a chuckle followed. “I get it. With exams around the corner and that horrible occurrence in Remire Village, a lot of people are on edge right now. I am, too. And I also let my insecurities fester and make me ‘ugly’—to which, you’re not and never could be ugly. You’re an amazing, smart, talented, and kind young woman. Nothing will change that. And nobody can tell me different.”
Tears started to fall from Dorothea’s eyes started to water. Ingrid swung her arms around her and held her close; Dorothea did the same. Those little sniffles hurt to hear, but Ingrid had to remind herself that those were good tears… That they were okay.
“Cry as much as you’d like, my dearest Dorothea,” Ingrid said, her voice marshmallow-soft.
She felt a swift, light punch to the back and heard a soft giggle that was like music to her ears.
“You can’t just… use my lines against me, you sweet, wonderful girl,” Dorothea giggled. “I-I’ll tear up more.”
“But it feels good to cry… Especially when you’re with someone you love…”
“Too true.” Dorothea sniffled. “But there's been enough tears shed between us already—oh, shoot!”
Dorothea dried her eyes with the palm of her hand and pulled away, examining Ingrid’s face. It didn’t take long for Ingrid to realize why, too.
“I’m sorry, Ingrid,” Dorothea said, frowning. “Your makeup is ruined. Just a little bit, nothing too noticeable, but it is running.”
“It’s fine, Dorothea,” Ingrid assured. “It… was nice to cry while you were holding me. I felt safe. And while I loved your makeup, I tonight, I had an experience with you that I’ll remember for a lifetime.”
“You really are so sweet.” Dorothea leaned in and pecked Ingrid on the cheek. “Thank you, Ingrid. For everything you’ve done for me today. I’ll remember it forever, too. And I’m so glad that I decided to spend tonight with you. But… can we talk more tomorrow? About our feelings. We can do it in your room behind closed doors, just… I want to talk some more. And I just want to focus on enjoying tonight. Is that okay?”
What can be so bad that she doesn’t want to tell me now…?
Ingrid decided not to give that thought any power. She was overthinking it for sure—she probably didn’t want to risk either of them crying again. Ingrid agreed that it was a good idea, too. It was too much crying for one day… But even though tonight had some problems, she couldn’t say she didn’t enjoy their date.
With a smile and a nod, Ingrid said, “Yes, we can. And now that my makeup is running, why don’t we go take a dip in the ocean together?”
Dorothea laughed. “I was just about to suggest the same thing! I want to see how this swimsuit looks on you. It’ll show off your long legs perfectly!”
Blushing, Ingrid bit her lip. She took a deep breath and said, “I’m sure it will, Dorothea. You had it made for me and you have an eye for these things. I can’t wait to wear it.”
Dorothea clapped her hands together. “Good, good… Oh, um, can I ask one more thing?”
“What is it?”
“It’s about the suitors… Ever since our little predicament in the Valley of Torment, you haven’t received any letters from your father about any new suitors, have you?”
Ingrid shook her head. “None. And it’s been a long time, too. But… don’t be worried, Dorothea. If I’m to be completely honest, I don’t think I’ve been attracted to a man romantically. The more I think about Glenn,” she paused, “and the more it pains me to admit it… while I love him, I think I love him in a different way I love you. You are my one and only, Dorothea.” She pecked her on the lips. “And… I… I really do love you.”
Dorothea placed her hand over her heart and smiled. “Thank you, Ingrid. Hearing that, all of that. It means a lot to me… Now, why don’t we get ourselves wet?” She stood and stretched. “Let’s go find some trees to change behind. Are you coming?”
Ingrid nodded and stood. “Of course, Dorothea.”