Chapter Text
When he found her, she was crouched by a large tidepool, her knees tucked into her chest and some smooth pebbles stacked beside her. Lidica’s hair was pulled up in a high ponytail, but the bouncy blonde curls still managed to fall to cast a shadow over her face. It occurred to Sez that he didn’t actually know what to say now that he found her; he knew as well as Bellona did that Lidica would have preferred that incident be forgotten, but he still didn’t fully understand why there had been an incident in the first place. The man hadn’t been threatening her, so there wasn’t any reason to fight him, so while it was a shame that they couldn’t go to that specific bar anymore it ultimately couldn’t have been that big a deal, could it? What was there to be upset over, then, that it’d been brought to light months after the fact?
“What do you want.” She didn’t look over at him, instead reaching for a pebble and skipping it across the tidepool.
And Sez couldn’t answer her, offering a sort of half-hearted shrug before drawing closer. She didn’t object, so he took a seat beside her, cross-legged—a respectful distance away, but close enough that he could still say he was keeping her company. This close, he could see the way her jaw tightened, the way tears bubbled up in her eyes, the way her shoulders shook. It was rare to see Lidica really and truly angry , but it seemed like Bellona had succeeded at pushing buttons that maybe she didn’t mean to press.
“If you’re here to defend your girlfriend ’s honor then don’t bother.”
“She’s not my girlfriend.” At least as far as Sez was aware she wasn’t, but if he was being honest he wasn’t really sure he knew exactly what that would entail to begin with. But Bellona proclaimed her complete lack of interest in such matters of the heart frequently enough that he figured it was a safe bet.
“Whatever! I don’t care.” Another pebble was cast across the pool with a quick flick of her wrist. The sun had already completely set, the last dying embers of the day dying the sky a deep red-violet on the horizon line. When it was light out, the tidepool probably would have been impossibly clear, the water deep within still and tranquil. In the absence of that sunlight, though, the depths were instead dyed an inky black.
Sez just sat there for a moment, gazing into the water. “Her personality is horrible.”
Lidica straightened a bit, then, actually looking over at Sez. “Huh?”
“She says it all the time,” he elaborated, scratching the side of his face. “That she’s actually a terrible person.”
“… I guess it’s for stuff like that, huh,” Lidica grumbled. She wiped her tears away on the back of her hand. “She of all people should have known, though. She did know…! She still …!” Rage clawed at Lidica’s words, keeping her from finishing the thought. The next pebble wasn’t skipped across the water so much as it was thrown into it, disappearing into the depths with a plunk! that sent wide ripples over the tidepool. “I thought she understood! But she only pretends to care when it’s convenient for her! All she really cares about is her self , whatever makes her look good, whatever makes her the center of attention.”
Sez offered no rebuttal, just watching Lidica levelly for a moment before he reached out to pat her shoulder. His hand was smacked away, though.
“Don’t touch me. You’re an affront to the Goddess.”
He deflated a little, then, cradling his hand to his chest. Lidica was the only one who still cared, really, and it was because of that and because of the fact that he could count on one hand the number of missions he’d been on with Lidica— for obvious reasons —that it was easy to forget about. His gaze fell, focusing instead on the dark marks on his forearm, intricate and meandering and a reminder that over time had become invisible to him. He couldn’t remember a time when they weren’t there. Sez mumbled an apology.
“S-sorry? No, I’m—ugh! I’m sorry. I’m just so—so—!” Lidica tried to muster her rage again before she just fell back, back against the rocks and feet hanging over the water. She let the statement hang there as she squeezed her eyes shut, just breathing for a moment. Sez let the silence grow between them, ever content to simply listen. No words passed between them before Lidica opened her eyes, at which point she continued, “… You understand.”
He looked to her and nodded.
“… You understand, ” she continued, before perking up a bit, her lips curling into a half-hearted smile. “… Hey, we’re doing that thing. And this is the part where she’d say, I knew you would, but… Ugh, she didn’t blab about everything did she…?”
He forced a smile, then. “I’ve seen enough to know that if you’re this upset about it, it must be important to you. I don’t know anything else, and Bellona doesn’t make a habit of talking about you.”
Lidica sighed. “That’s good, at least… Uh, long story short I guess, this bastard, Enott, had me framed and kicked out of the Rose Apostles back in Ezera. I know what people say about me, but… I really didn’t do it. But no one believed me. And no one still believes me; even most of my old friends were convinced. The only person I still have on my side there is someone I’ve known since I was a little kid…”
Sez nodded along with her words, and paused for a beat when she finished—like he expected for her to continue, like he expected there to be more. His lips parted while he grasped for words; he couldn’t just let those words hang, right…? Wouldn’t it be insensitive?
“… I was framed, too.”
Lidica blinked at that. “Wait, what? I think it would be kind of hard to… I mean, no offense, but…”
“… Framed is the wrong word,” Sez admitted, his voice little more than a low rumble in his throat. “I did kill those people. But not because—whatever they said about me.” His cursed hand tightened into a fist, then, and he took a breath. “Being an… ‘Affront to the Goddess,’ as you put it… Wasn’t my choice.”
Oh…
Oh.
By the time Taranor’s Homunculus experiments came to light, Lidica had already been expelled from the Rose Apostles. She didn’t have the authority to follow the Ezeran army into Taranorian territory and purge the land of those cursed creatures, so the news had sparked some fleeting rage in her that such activities could go on for so long before it was redirected elsewhere.
“Wait, so you’re a…?”
“No, I’m Human. I… Think. I’m still trying to piece everything together.” He shrugged. “… If I was, though, I don’t think I’d have a surname… And it would have been a lot harder to get along with all of you, right?” At that, Sez actually flashed her a grin—rare enough to force Lidica to double-take, but no less disarming for its sincerity.
“… You know, when I first saw you, I thought you were just some monster.”
“I think most of Phantom would agree with that.” His grin faded a little, subsiding into a gentle sort of smile.
“I thought you were quiet because you were calculating and that you were taking advantage of Bellona’s good will, limited as it is… Until you were ready to snap and kill us all for some horrible dark ritual!”
“… Most people just think I’m stupid.”
“I ran a lot of interrogations back in the Rose Apostles! The first thing you learn is to be wary of the quiet ones, they’re always hiding something! Lots of people say I’m extreme, but they can’t say I was ineffective . I’ve been wondering all this time what your deal was, but… Now I think I’ve figured it out.”
He watched her for a moment more, egging her into continuing.
“… You’re just a good guy.” She pushed herself back into an upright position. “But don’t think you’re out of the woods yet! You might be a good person but nobody’s perfect. I’ll make you kneel before me yet!”
Sez snorted at that. “You can try.”
“I might not be able to touch you in a fight… Or out-eat you… Or beat you in volleyball, though I still say you cheated…” Lidica huffed. “But there has to be something!”
“We could race back to the hotel,” he suggested, a lilt of mirth creeping into his voice where usually he’d keep it perfectly steady.
“… That’s a good idea, actually. Last one there has to recite fifty verses from memory!”
“I just remembered,” Sez mumbled, “I’m mute.”
“Then we’ll write them on a chalkboard!”
“I’m illiterate.”
“Oh, you’re full of—Fine, then the last one there has to treat to the ice cream parlor tomorrow.”
Sez nodded approvingly, crossing his arms and pushing himself to his feet while Lidica started counting down.