Chapter Text
“Whadt do you wandt to dknow?”
“Whatever you’re willing to tell me,” replied Finn gently. He could tell they were making some headway.
Poe sighed heavily as he lifted a finger to rub at his slightly watery eyes. He gave a liquid sniff before reaching for the box of tissues. He brought them up to his face and blew his nose almost painfully. He rubbed his nostrils dry before speaking.
“I-I was on this planet. I forget the name of it, but it was a rock planet. There were so many holes and crevices on the surface and it was difficult to see where the First Order was. I was l-leading the stealth mission with five other Resistance fighters......” He started to trail off as his throat seemed to close in emotion.
Finn grasped one of Poe’s hands and gave it a squeeze, urging him on.
“The third fighter from the back, Leela, stepped on a grenade that shot her into the sky. She was a mother and a wife. She had two young children who will never know who she was and how brave she was.” He was talking quickly now as he tried to tell the story before the emotion became too much. “Then, so many First Order Stormtroopers appeared. We were outnumbered and only two of us made it out. I guess that’s where my mind took me to.”
Finn could only imagine how difficult that was for Poe. He longed to have been there to protect him. However, the damage was already done. There was nothing that Finn could do about it now besides just be there for Poe.
“Whatever happened wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t control what happened,” Finn reminded him.
Poe grimaced. “Yeah, now it’s just my messed up brain that I have to heh...huh.....fight with. KtchSHoo!” Poe managed to turn away and press his nose into his raised wrist. “KtchsSHoo! KtchsSHoo!” He snuffled heavily in the aftermath with Finn handing him a few more tissues.
“Bless you,” Finn told him.
BB-8 let out a chirp that sounded similar to Finn’s sentiment.
Poe nodded to them before blowing his nose. He rubbed them against the underside before crumpling them into a ball in his fist. “Ugh, or the cold in nose I suppose.”
Finn chuckled. “Those are two very inconvenient things, but it doesn’t make me love you any less.” He leaned down to give Poe a kiss on the lips, but Poe immediately turned away from him.
“What are you doing,” Poe cried. “I’m sick!”
Finn rolled his eyes. “I would’ve caught it by now if I was going to.” He chuckled as Poe slightly gave in as he turned his head slightly. Finn decided that it was best just to compromise as he leaned over and kissed Poe’s cheek. The stubble along Poe’s jaw tickled his lips and he couldn’t help but smile.
Poe turned away to cough painfully while sniffling at his nose streamed. He struggled to finally compose himself and Finn could tell how tired Poe was. He couldn’t blame him. He was sick, on edge, and had just come out of a very frightening flashback. That wasn’t a great combination to have.
“Alright, let’s get you to bed,” offered Finn as he started to stand with Poe doing the same.
Poe’s legs were weak and wobbly, so Finn ended up taking most of his weight as he leaned heavily against him. Finn wrapped an arm around Poe’s waist and held him close while BB-8 picked up the rag and tissue box to follow them.
Finn half led, half carried Poe over to their bed. He was cautious to even think about going to bed, but he knew that he couldn’t keep Poe up all night. He knew that Poe needed sleep to fight off whatever this was.
“I dodn’t dknow i-if I should sleep,” Poe stammered as he dug his heels in right beside the bed.
Finn nodded slowly. “I understand, but we can do this together. I’m not going to let anything happen to you.”
Poe, his eyes aglow with fever, gave a heavy sigh. “I jusdt dond’t wandt to hurdt you again, or ever. I’b afraidt...” He snuffled heavily, but it did nothing for his stuffiness.
It was one of the first times that Poe had verbally confessed how scared he was. It was difficult to hear him sound so defeated, especially being the General of the Resistance. But, Finn knew that they could get through it, just as they always had.
“You’re not going to get rid of me that easy. I know that you’re not going to hurt me. Besides, I think that I can take you,” he pointed out as he nudged his elbow against Poe’s shoulder teasingly. “Come on.”
Finn climbed onto the bed and waited for Poe to fall in beside him. The General climbed onto the space beside Finn as Finn tried to pull the covers down to give room for Poe. Finn helped Poe scoot closer to him while grabbing the tissues and rag from BB-8 so that he wouldn’t have to leave the bed again.
While Finn was trying to get Poe to sit up, his lungs seemed to have a different idea. He coughed into a raised fist before it turned into an almost painful gag that scraped the back of his throat. His eyes were squeezed shut as tears leaked from them. BB-8 gave a terrified series of beeps that weren’t helping the station.
“Sit up. Sit up,” instructed Finn quickly as he reached under Poe’s arm before helping him sit up beside him.
Only then did the coughing begin to ease. Poe still seemed drained from his body’s attempt to expel whatever virus was inside of him. It left him sweating even more and with a hand at his chest, almost clutching his shirt. His head gave a small roll toward Finn. “This sucks.”
“I know,” chided Finn as he stretched out his hand and brushed a few stray strands of curly hair from Poe’s forehead. “But, you’re going to make it through this. It’s just another thing we have to work through.”
“Where would I be without you,” wheezed Poe as a single tear rolled down his cheek.
Finn immediately stretched out his hand and wiped it away with his thumb. “Where would I be without you? It certainly goes both ways if you ask me.”
Poe gave a dejected sniff. “I’n dnot so sure aboudt thadt,” he protested.
Finn hated to hear Poe speak so negatively about himself. He was beginning to realize it was something they would continue to work on.
Poe’s continuing sniffling brought Finn from his own mind. He managed to pick out a few tissues from the box and handed them over to Poe. Poe brought them up to his nose and gave a weak blow. It only succeeded in spreading the lingering tickle to a completely desperate need. He pulled the tissues slightly away from his face while he waited with his eyes watering, mouth slightly gaped open, and breath beginning to hitch. Finn thought that it was adorable, but he assumed that Poe wouldn’t see it the same way.
Eventually, his body gave him the relief that he so desperately craved. “KtchSHoo!” The fist one caused him to snap forward with the pillow falling from behind him as he leaned forward. “KtchsSHoo! KtchSHoo! KTchsSHoo.” The three tumbled from him before giving him a brief pause. “KtchsSHoo!”
“Bless you,” exclaimed Finn at the desperate onslaught of sneezes that seemed to be forced from him.
Poe replaced the tissues in his hand with fresh ones. He wiped the undersides of his nostrils before giving his nose a productive and lingering blow. He set them on the nightstand before leaning back as Finn tried to adjust the pillow again. Poe pinched the bridge of his nose in discomfort as he felt the tickle still lingering there.
“You alright,” Finn fretted.
Poe slightly rolled his head over to his boyfriend. “Jusdt paind in by sinuses,” Poe confessed as he stared up at the ceiling. “I’b prone to sidus infectdions.”
Finn had never had one, but he could only assume how uncomfortable they were, which may have had a hand in as to why Poe struggled with his flashbacks. Any congestion could cause balance issues and that could make Poe feel even more on edge.
“Tomorrow we’ll take you to a medical droid, just to make sure it’s not more serious. For now, let’s just get some sleep.” Finn was struggling to keep his eyes open.
Poe seemed to be just as tired as Finn. Poe nodded as he leaned his head back against the pillow. Finn was relieved as he scooted as close to Poe as possible with Poe immediately leaning on Finn with his head on his shoulder.
“I’m sorry that you have to go through this, Poe. You shouldn’t have to, but you’re certainly not alone. I’m not going to leave you,” Finn told him softly as he leaned over to press a kiss on top of Poe’s head.
Poe murmured something that Finn couldn’t catch. However, Finn knew that Poe was appreciative. Finn was relieved when he heard Poe’s breathing being to slow. Finn would’ve liked to see talking, but he knew that they would have plenty of time for that later.
“Get some rest, Poe. I promise that everything will look up in the morning.”