Chapter Text
Kei was an observant person.
He was perfectly capable of noticing the subtle shifts in the way Shouyou was behaving around him. How, instead of spreading Kei’s legs to sit between them when they were chilling in a calm afternoon, he sat on the other end of the tiny couch, fiddling with his phone while Kei busied himself with a book. How, when he thought Kei wasn’t looking, he gazed at him with sadness coating his amber eyes, roaming orbs seeming to capture his features as to not forget about them. How, sometimes, he withdrew himself from Kei, just to crash against him later, frantically kissing and tugging and claiming, like he was scared to lose him. How, during their shared moments of intimacy, he touched Kei like it was his last chance to do so, desperate and unwilling to let go, fingers gripping hard and bruising, even if every touch of his lips felt like a farewell.
Their discussions were increasing in number and intensity as well. Sometimes, Shouyou would leave Kei’s apartment with his face red from anger and frustration, tears pooling in his big, expressive eyes. Then, he would not come back for a couple of days. Each of those times Kei wondered if that was it, if Shouyou was finally done and fed up with him and his hurtful, careless words. But then, Shouyou would come back, throwing himself in Kei’s arms with the force of an apocalyptic hurricane, apologies tumbling from his lips followed by another set of fresh tears. Apologies that Kei, most of the time, didn’t bother to reciprocate. He would simply welcome Shouyou in his arms, glad to have him back, glad that the other didn’t decide to leave for good. Shouyou would kiss him, then, and Kei would feel safe again, warm in the realm of Shouyou’s squeezing and trembling arms and he would forget all about the previous discussion, pushing it out of his mind. They didn’t talk about it.
Even though he knew that wasn’t the right thing to do.
Kei knew that their time together was fleeting, escaping through his long fingers like sand in an hourglass. There would be a time when Shouyou would leave after Kei disregarded him with some cruel remarks and wouldn’t come back. And when that happened, Kei would have to deal with his ineptitude and refusal to fix things up. Kei would have to deal with it alone, without his sun to pull him out of his bed and lend him a helpful hand.
Kei knew all of that and, yet, he was unable to do something about it. He couldn’t pull Shouyou to his arms and hold him as tight as he wanted, because then, Shouyou would be aware of his dependence and the extent of his unsustainable love. It would be so tight Shouyou wouldn’t be able to breathe and he wouldn’t be fine with that. Kei was going to chase him away either way. Either because he couldn’t barely whisper about how he felt or either because his feelings were too oppressive. Overall, Kei was incapable to bear his soul open to Shouyou to see, show all of his scars and vulnerabilities, for he was too scared that Shouyou wouldn’t like what he eventually saw.
Even when Shouyou made it clear that he wanted all of Kei, and desperately begged and cried for it, Kei couldn’t do it. He couldn’t give himself fully.
So Kei took what he could get, for now. He enjoyed the time he had left, the one he knew only decreased, after each day and each fight. He relished the time Shouyou somehow still dedicated to him. And he touched and kissed and claimed what soon wouldn’t be his anymore.
He said his own goodbyes.
–
Kei was startled awake by some incessant and rhythmic noise he couldn’t yet recognize in his barely awake state of mind. He blinked his eyes open, rubbing them and pinching the bridge of his nose to chase the sleepiness away. And then everything got silent again, the bothersome noise ceasing. His flat was dark, only the kitchen lightbulb glowing and scantily illuminating the living room. As the room fell peaceful and quiet again, Kei could take notice of the wretched condition of his body.
He woke up for the second time that day with his head pounding again. This time, it was likely because of the heavy drinking he did earlier, as well as his increasingly messed up sleeping schedule. The back of his neck was sore and his legs were stiff, results of taking a nap on his small, uncomfortable couch. He groaned and rubbed his forehead with his hand, sitting up while joints popped when he stretched his arms and shoulders. He looked down to the floor and found his glasses haphazardly laying there, probably thrown out of his face during his sleep. He clicked his tongue and reached for it, immediately putting them on to check if they didn’t get crooked. Fortunately, they were completely fine. Finally, Kei heaved on a deep sigh and rested his back against the couch’s cushions.
He looked at his coffee table and grimaced. The sight of it was depressing. The half-empty bottle of kahlúa was still uncapped, the cup he was using stood on the edge of the table, balanced. Furthermore, his unfinished bowl of ramen and the plastic containers where the strawberry cake had been were scattered around as well, one fork and his cellphone in between them.
Kei reached for his phone and checked the time, clicking his tongue again. It was past ten in the evening already. He knew he was not going to be able to sleep properly that night, which would further screw up with his sleeping schedule, which then, would lead to a week full of stress and headaches ahead. He definitely wasn’t looking forward to that.
Kei yawned deeply with the remnants of his aborted nap, wondering what had caused the noise that pulled him out of it. He almost jumped up from his seat when, a few moments later, he got his answer in the form of sharp knocks against what could only be his front door. Kei looked over his shoulder with wide eyes, slumber completely vanishing from his body and panic settling in his bones as the person behind the door rapped their knuckles against the wood in quick successions, seemingly unbothered by the silent flat and the lack of response on the resident’s part. The noise continued steadily, Kei staring at his locked door and wishing he could see who was behind it, as his raced heart started to match its beating to the deafening sound. Kei felt like the sound grew louder and louder until it suddenly stopped again.
Kei was up on his feet before he realized what he was doing.
He continued to stare dumbly at his closed door as if it contained all the answers he desperately needed. He heard a quiet thump then, and his throat constricted with it. At the same time that Kei felt like all the air had left his lungs, leaving him breathless and gasping, he also felt his breathing getting deeper, cold and heavy air invading his body only to be released seconds later, his chest heaving.
Kei had an idea of who might be behind that door, but he feared it was wishful thinking on his part. Why would he, now of all times, come back?
Kei tentatively stepped forward, rounding his couch to approach the wall and turn on the lights. Just as he did, the knocking started again, seemingly more insistent and hurried than before, bordering on the desperation Kei only recognized in himself. He looked at the dark wood as he walked towards it, every step slow and arduous, as he moved closer and closer. It was as if a shred of hope was pulling him forward, something he could not ignore, something that reached into his core and shook him beyond measure. His heart hammered against his tight chest, softening the tense muscle until he was standing in front of his door, the knocking more clear than ever.
He grabbed his keys on the small hanger by the door and inserted the right one in the lock, turning it to unlock the door. The sound the lock made was loud and imposing, the knocking stopping instantly upon hearing it. Kei expected the door to burst open as it always did when he unlocked it, but it remained closed, old wood staring back at him.
He guessed it was time for him to realize that things weren’t like always anymore.
With a sigh, Kei slowly curled his fingers around the doorknob, the cold metal of the handle surprisingly grounding in that moment of uncertainty and probable futile hope. He gripped it hard and breathed deeply, considering his options, considering what he wanted to say, considering everything that was at stake.
Tsukishima Kei wasn’t one to chase after what he wanted – he never was –, but having the chance presenting itself to him, it wasn’t like he going to pass it up. Moreover, he wasn’t one to repeat mistakes either.
He knew what he needed to do, now.
Kei released a breath he was holding and forced the tension out of his body. He looked at the closed door for one last time before slipping his eyes closed. He gripped the doorknob tighter and turned it.
He opened his door.
–
“Why won’t you open up to me?” Shouyou cried, hands reaching to grip Kei’s wrists, distraught fingers gripping hard at the skinny arm. It was a last cry for understanding on Shouyou’s part, him kneeling on the mattress and holding onto Kei as another discussion bloomed between the couple. “I am you boyfriend!”
Kei yanked his hands away, the cold air instantly biting at his skin no longer warmed by Shouyou’s touch. He felt his throat constricting with the anxiety of another fight, the prospect of losing Shouyou too real and palpable.
Shouyou wanted to move forward and he wanted to do that with Kei of all people. And as much as Kei wished for the same thing, he wasn’t able to compromise to it, uneasiness crawling through his skin. He felt scared and unsafe, the need to protect himself growing heavy. Even when he knew that Shouyou was the best thing to ever happen to him – that he was safe from harm –, he couldn’t help but close himself.
“That doesn’t mean-” Kei started, instantly cutting himself.
Kei could feel the weight of Shouyou staring at his back, the other man breathing heavily from the increasingly shouted, unfiltered words.
“What?” He said, getting up from the bed. “What? Say it!”
Kei clicked his tongue, turning on his heels to leave his bedroom, Shouyou following him right after. He never backed down from anything, after all.
“That doesn’t mean what, Kei?” Shouyou pressed, voice raising. “Give me an answer!”
Kei sighed and turned again to face Shouyou, meeting his tired eyes. It was always that same issue, one of them reaching forward while the other pulled away.
“I don’t have to open up to you.” He finally said, closing his eyes as the words fell from his mouth and Shouyou took a step back, flinching. “I don’t have to tell you stuff… Can I at least keep things to myself? Huh, can I?”
“Of course you can, you asshole.” He fired back. “You can keep all the stuff you want to yourself. But not when we are talking about us, about a relationship that involves two beings. Do you fucking understand what I’m talking about?”
Kei stared as Shouyou shouted back at him, piercing eyes focused on his coward ones. Kei felt a shiver running through his spine, coldness coating his limbs as Shouyou grew more frustrated, insults falling from his trembling lips.
Kei had to look down at Shouyou to properly gaze at him, but in that moment, he felt smaller than ever.
“Did you ever think about any of this?” Shouyou asked, one hand shoving his shoulder in anger. He barely stumbled back. Yes, Kei thought about that all the goddamn time, he thought about how stupid and frightened he was, intimidated by the pure fire that Shouyou was – warm and inviting at the same time that it was burning and dangerous.
“I’m tired of fighting over this.” Kei sighed, not realizing the implication of his words.
Shouyou looked at him, chest heaving in the aftermath of his shouting. One fat tear slid down his cheek as he gazed at Kei in that unique way of his, as if he was memorizing Kei’s features inside his head. It was then that Kei realized his mistakes, the words he said, the way he was foolish to think he still had time.
As he looked at the tears rolling down Shouyou’s cheeks, Kei realized that Shouyou was tired of reaching for him when Kei only escaped his fingers.
“I’m tired of it too.” He said with a finality that was scary, confirming what Kei was then realizing.
Kei’s fingers tingled with the desire to reach for Shouyou, brush his tears away and say the things that he never did before. But was that fair to him? Was it fair to keep silent for so long and only say things when he was on the verge of losing him? It was selfish, that was what it was. Nothing more than selfish.
He clenched his fist, pushing caring desires away, because it wouldn’t be fair to Shouyou. He felt his nails breaking the tender skin of his palms and clenched the fists tighter. He had caused all of that to himself, it was his own fault.
Now that it was there, Kei didn’t want to believe it. He didn’t want to accept it.
Shouyou wiped at his tears with the back of his hands, new ones instantly running down, droplets of it clinging to his ginger lashes and Kei hated himself for thinking that even when crying, Shouyou was the most beautiful person he had ever seen. Kei had made him cry so many times during their time together and maybe, it was time to let him go. Because even if he was pretty when he cried, there was no comparison whatsoever when he smiled.
And Kei thought he had put more tears in his eyes than smiles on his lips.
“You know,” Shouyou sniffled, still fruitlessly wiping his tears. “If you can’t give me anything, I don’t know what I’m doing here. This has to work both ways, Kei.”
A sob broke from Shouyou’s throat, him gasping with it. Kei almost stumbled forward, almost pulled him to his arms to hold him. Almost.
Instead, he stayed silent.
“You never told me things, you never opened up to me.” Shouyou started again, Kei hated how he was speaking in the past tense, as if things were really done, and there was no turning back. “And, at first, I accepted it because I know you express things in a different way and I just had to learn how to read your affection for me. But then, I got accustomed with being left in the dark, I got used with you dismissing me. I don’t wanna sound demanding or whatever, now of all times, but…”
It wasn’t even a discussion anymore, it was just Shouyou venting out his frustrations, things he kept bottled up and things that he swallowed even when they tasted bitter that, now, were spilling, overflowing.
“But you never-” He sniffled again, looking down at his feet for the first time. “You never even told me if you loved me.”
The words were like a knife to the chest, sharp and twisting in between bloody flesh.
“I’m so sad this isn’t working anymore.” He mumbled, almost inaudible. “I don’t think I want to be in a relationship where I’m the only one willing to say things, to communicate and to fight for it.”
Kei watched as Shouyou turned away from him, rubbed furiously at his eyes and nose. He watched as Shouyou tried to control his sobs, the ugly, despairing sounds filling every corner of his flat and settling there. He watched as Shouyou took his phone laying on the coffee table, slipped it in the back pocket of his jeans, and proceeded to put on his sneakers to leave.
Kei simply watched him, not attempting to stop him, not uttering a word. He had no right.
Shouyou turned one last time, red-rimmed eyes staring sadly at him. There was no regret in them, Shouyou was always truthful and he held onto them until he couldn’t anymore. Kei, on the other hand, was filled with regret and nothing more. Pure and hypocritical regret. Then Shouyou smiled a faint smile, barely a tilt of his lips, eyes getting suspiciously moist again.
“For all I loved you, I loved alone.” Then he opened the door and left.
–
Kei watched as Shouyou closed the door softly behind himself, his throat closing with it, his breathing getting shallower as air become scarce. He could barely get any air in his lungs, insides convulsing in anguish. Eventually, his knees met the floor, his body collapsing forward, eyes still glued to the closed door.
He had done it. He finally had driven Shouyou away and now, Shouyou had decided to accept all of his attempts. He left.
A loud, desperate sob broke from his chest, deafening in the now silent apartment, devoid of laughter and shouts. Tears rolled down his cheeks freely, unstoppable and regretful, Kei gasping with the force of his crying and with the sobs that came like punches to the gut.
He had so many opportunities before to tell him how he felt, to communicate and save what they had, but he missed them all, and now it was too late. It hurt that Shouyou didn’t have any idea, not a single clue, of how much Kei loved him, how ingrained in his core those feelings were. And Kei couldn’t blame him, it was all his own fault for never being able to simply verbally reciprocate what Shouyou was giving him the whole time.
What hurt the most, though, was how Shouyou said “for all I loved you, I loved alone” and how he said it in the past tense. Because, after everything, he got tired of Kei and his feelings fleeted. There was no love for Kei in him anymore. Shouyou was done with him.
–
When Shouyou didn’t come back by the end of the week, Kei knew for sure that they were done for.
It was over.
–
“Hey.” Hinata said softly as they came face to face with each other, the door ajar.
He stood on the hallway with confidence in his body, Kei noted. He was never one to do things half-assedly, after all. While Kei let the familiar sound of Hinata’s voice wash over his body, he took in the sight of him, weeks after going without it. He looked mostly the same, pretty as he have always been, bright hair curling at the ends, determinate eyes set on Kei. What was surprising, though, was the faint darkish circles beneath his eyes, as if Hinata was struggling with sleep as well, even when Kei knew he was almost religious about it. Hinata was still beautiful, but he looked fatigued, as if he was hurting as well, of all things.
“What are you doing here, Hinata?” It was out of his mouth before Kei could stop it.
“Can we talk?” Hinata kindly asked. Kei hated those three words because it inevitably made him remember about confessions, warm nights, innocent kisses and teenager hopes, everything that was past him, beyond his grasp. Hinata always uttered that question so softly, looking at him beneath long, ginger lashes, giving Kei an option to say ‘no’, giving him a possible, available outing and Kei was a goner.
“I don’t need your pity.” He answered instead, aware of what his recorded message entailed. Kei was going to slap himself sometime soon, or maybe shove his fist in his mouth to shut himself up.
Do not screw this again.
“I’m not here to pity you.” Hinata replied honestly, not flinching, not batting an eye.
“Then why are you coming here now, of all times?” Shut up!
“I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to.” He shrugged. “Before, that is.”
“And now you are sure of something?”
“Yeah.” He nodded surely. “I’m sure of the same thing I was back then.”
Kei didn’t know what Hinata meant by that but, figuring they needed to have a longer conversation than one held on his front door, Kei opened the door wider and stepped to the side, allowing Hinata to enter the flat. “Come on in.” He murmured.
Hinata whispered a quiet ‘pardon for the intrusion’ under his breath as he toed his shoes off and stepped inside. It hurt to watch the foreignness in Hinata’s movements, in his approach to Kei’s space now, as he went through the formalities and stood awkwardly to the side, as if he didn’t belong there anymore. Kei wanted to throw all of those misplaced words and the discomfort he could sense in Hinata’s stance out of the window, away from both of them. He wanted to pull Hinata to his arms and hold him, not have to talk about it, let the problems fade away as soon as he touched Hinata again. However, Kei knew that wasn’t an option anymore. If Hinata looked alien to Kei’s world now, it was because Kei had refused to talk about it sooner, and it led them to part ways.
Therefore, Kei ignored the urge to make things as they were before, he denied the impulse to pretend he didn’t need to change, that they could return to what they used to be. Instead, Kei shut the door softly behind them and allowed the words clinging to his throat to hang as heavy as they felt, scared to finish their way up and be uttered by Kei, but still holding onto his chest firmly, unwilling to let go and slowly, calmly making their way to the tip of his tongue.
When he led them to his living room, Kei instantly noticed when Hinata’s eyes took in the condition of his coffee table. His lips twisted sadly at the messy sight of it all, his eyes searching for Kei’s. Kei, though, diverted his own orbs; they had more important matters to talk about than Kei’s slightly unhealthy coping mechanisms.
“You can sit anywhere, Hinata.” He said as he started gathering the trash. “Give me just a minute, please.”
Kei didn’t bother to clean up properly, he only placed everything on the kitchen counter and then, rushed to his bathroom, quickly brushing his teeth and swallowing a pill for his headache. Not that he could really focus on the irritating throbs of pain when Hinata was once again inside his apartment, but either way he wanted to give the other his undivided attention.
In an attempt at grounding himself, Kei breathed deeply before joining Hinata once again in the living room. Hinata sat on the cheap armchair Kei barely used, eyes focused on the ground as Kei sat on the couch, facing him. They stayed silent for a few long minutes, gathering thoughts, choosing the right words.
A thunder resounded somewhere away from them and Kei shifted his eyes to gaze at Hinata, who was fiddling with his own fingers.
“Hinata-”
“Why did you send me that?” Hinata blurted, meeting Kei’s eyes.
Kei blinked at him, surprised by the sudden outburst, but he guessed it was predictable that Hinata wanted to know about that. “Because I was drunk.” He started. “I’m going to be honest with you, I probably wouldn’t have sent it if I was sober. I don’t regret it, though.”
“I swear I-” Hinata breathed, cracking his composed posture to rake a hand through his hair. “I don’t get you most of the time. You just-”
“Look,” Kei interrupted, sensing that Hinata was a bit confused. He was never well articulated with his thoughts, but when it came to feelings, Hinata was years ahead of Kei. “Let me just explain myself and then we can... Anyway, the message I sent you was a mess and it didn’t actually say what I really wanted to tell you.”
Hinata had his eyes on Kei, unblinking and completely focused, not missing a word Kei released one at a time, catching each one of them as if they were precious things he needed to protect. It was wonderful at the same time that it was consuming to have Hinata’s attention once again on him.
“I was so dumb to only realize what I was doing wrong after losing you.” Kei sighed, resuming his monologue. He hoped Hinata would listen to him until the end and, if he decided to leave once again, that he would do so without any hatred towards Kei. “Or, for a better wording, what I wasn’t doing. I’m so sorry you had to endure my silence for so long, I’ll never be able to know how much that hurt you.”
“When I looked back at our relationship, I only looked at the good parts of it, you know?” Kei looked up briefly from his clasped hands to meet Hinata’s eyes. “Such as our last golden week in third year and our first dates in cheap ramen places in Miyagi, watching volleyball together before you left for Brazil, or when you practically moved in when you came back and how we spent those days together.”
Kei choked on a sob, one lone tear falling on his hands. “Shit, fuck.” He cursed, trying to hide the fact that he was crying already. He could tell that Hinata saw it all, though, and Kei was glad that he immediately didn’t reach for him, giving him space. Kei needed to be able to say everything and, if Hinata touched him, he wouldn’t be able to do it. “What I’m trying to say is that after… after we broke up, I- I looked back and analyzed everything, not only the good parts. And… and I saw how much of an asshole I was being to you, I understood that I was hurting you so bad and that you had to endure all of my bullshit. Fuck, I can’t bear to think of how much of an-”
A loud sob rippled from his chest, interrupting his rambled confessions. Kei saw Hinata almost leaping from his seat, an aborted movement towards him. “I’m fine, it’s ok. I need to say this or… or else, I don’t know, I just- I just need you to listen to me.”
“’kay.” Hinata whispered softly.
He released a heavy breath and wiped the tears pooling beneath his glasses. “I get it now. I realize how negligent I was of your feelings by not opening up about mine. It should be so simple, right? I’m not asking you to forgive me or anything like that, you don’t owe me anything, I am the one in debt here. You gave me everything and I gave you nothing in return.”
Hinata was shaking his head in disagreement silently, his eyes sad and wet. “But I need to tell you this, Hinata. If this is the way we reach our end, then that’s fine. But I need to tell you this, or else I’m going to live in regret for the rest of my days.”
Kei bit his lower lip, met Hinata’s eyes across the room and let the tears flow down freely. “I’m sorry I never said this before.”
“I love you. I have loved you for so long and I still do. I miss you. And I love you, Hinata.”
Hinata was crying as copiously as Kei himself, choking on gasps as he covered his mouth and rubbed his eyes, skin red around the blinking orbs as he released sounds that Kei couldn’t tell if they were sobs or halted laughter.
“You idiot.” Hinata said, finally looking at him. He smiled and cried at the same time, a catastrophe of contradictory emotions. He was a mess. He was still pretty. “Why are you calling me ‘Hinata’, Kei?”
Kei choked on laughter then, confusion and insecurity and fear still as present as ever in his body, but Hinata was calling him by his first name and that was a kind of warmth Kei wasn’t sure he was ever going to experience again. He welcomed it gladly.
Hinata then – or rather, Shouyou – got up from the armchair and joined Kei on the couch, sitting down and facing him. With trembling hands, he slowly cupped Kei’s cheeks, brushing away his falling tears as Kei leaned into his missing touch. Shouyou nodded wordlessly after a while and Kei reached for him with his own hands, circling his neck and burying his fingers in his hair as he brought him closer for a hug.
He squeezed him as tight as he wanted and Shouyou only sighed in content against his chest.
He breathed him in and Shouyou still smelled like summer fruits, even when a there was a cold storm outside.
He loved him like he never loved anyone else and he hoped Shouyou still felt the same way.
“If you ever decide to give me a second chance,” Kei whispered, lips pressed against Shouyou’s hair, eyes closed as he relished the feel of Shouyou’s body against his own. “I want you to know that I would grasp it with all I have and that I would do things right for you. I wouldn’t repeat the same mistakes again, if one day you want me back.”
“You idiot.” He repeated, chuckling against Kei’s chest, hands fisting the back of Kei’s shirt. “What do you think I’m doing here?”
Shouyou disentangled their bodies to look up at Kei. “You know I love you too. I missed you too.”
Then, he smiled; that bright, large smile spreading on his lips until his eyes slipped closed, remnants of tears escaping through his lids. He was the most beautiful person Kei had ever seen. And he was smiling at him.
“Kei.” He called, the name rolling from his lips like sticky honey, sounding like being back home. A happy grin was still dancing on his face, his cheeks colored pink. “Let’s get back together, okay?”
–
“I love you.” He whispered.
Shouyou’s breathing was still steady by his side on the bed, blissfully unaware. Kei’s eyes raked over his form as moonlight shone over his skin, illuminating the planes of his body in uneven patterns.
“Love you so much.”
–
“I’m home.” Kei announced as he took his shoes off on the apartment’s genkan.
“Oh, hey!” Shouyou greeted from the couch, legs dangling from the edge. “How was work?”
“Fine. Just like always.” He replied. “How was your practice?”
Kei walked the short distance from the door to the couch, smiling down at the other. Shouyou was splayed over the couch cushions, shorts riding high on his thick and strong thighs and tank top barely covering his tanned torso. Outside, the sun was setting lazily, basking the room with a golden haze. Shouyou’s skin glowed with it, tempting and seductive.
“It was good.” Shouyou answered, putting his phone aside and making grabby hands at Kei. He instantly got rid of his bag and climbed over Shouyou, tangling their legs and burying his face on the bony crook of Shouyou’s neck. “Sakusa-san sprayed hand sanitizer on his shoulder after Bokuto-san slapped him on his back.”
“Ha-ha, Bokuto-san never changes.” Kei chuckled, warm puffs of air tingling Shouyou’s skin and making shivers run over it.
Shouyou let his hands roam over Kei’s broad back, finally coming to a rest on his lower back, eager fingers teasing the gentle curve of his ass. “What are you doing?” Kei asked, even when he was leaning subtly into the addicting caresses.
“Hm, I can ask you the same thing.” Shouyou replied, words catching in an almost imperceptible gasp as Kei latched his lips on his neck, sucking softly. He shifted their bodies until his knee was pressing between Shouyou’s legs, applying pressure and teasing him back. At that, Shouyou grabbed his shirt and pulled it until he was able to untuck it from his pants, pushing his burning palms beneath the fabric to be able to feel skin.
Kei’s back flexed under Shouyou’s nails and he withdrew from Shouyou’s neck to meet his boyfriend’s lips in a gentle, yet fervent, kiss, pulling and nipping and worshiping it. In between deep kisses and curious hands and tugging at hair strands, the burning desire for each other grew and they fumbled their movements with barely any grace.
Shouyou was reaching for the buckle on Kei’s belt when suddenly they lost balance in the narrow couch and fell to the floor in a mess of limbs, Kei grunting when his back collapsed on the floor, Shouyou on top of him. The slight ache on his muscles was forgotten as soon as Kei realized that Shouyou was laughing on top of him, chest shaking as he grinned down at Kei.
“You are dumb.” Kei said, but his tone was filled with fondness.
“You are just as dumb.” Shouyou retorted, crawling up his body to place a peck on his lips. Kei chuckled at that, unbothered to reply to the childish bait. He was too far gone to do that.
“You’re pretty.” He added instead.
“You’re gorgeous.” Shouyou answered, smiling softly, his thumbs brushing lovingly at his cheeks.
“Love you.” Kei continued.
“I love you.” Shouyou whispered back, two of his fingers gently pushing Kei’s glasses up on his nose. He gazed at Kei’s eyes unhurriedly – not like he was afraid to forget him if he didn’t, but simply because he could –, delicate smile growing until it turned mischievous. “Now, where were we?”