Chapter Text
the day of the funeral was bleak. it rained the day before, which was fitting because mac's grief felt like the rain. he hadn't imagined he could get so close to someone in his life. he had loved her, cared for her more than anything. and just like that, she slipped away. like he tried to grab her and she drifted through his fingertips.
mac could fix everything. but this was something he couldn't fix. as he stood there with bozer by his side, a tear streaked down his face. i won't cry, not today. she'd want me to be tough, to be ok. she gave her life for me mac swallowed hard, harshly wiping the tear away. "i miss her too man." bozer whispered, staring at the casket being lowered into the ground.
it was plain, simple black with silver engravings on the side. just like she'd have wanted it. but mac hated it, hated the meaning of it and what it held inside. her unmoving body. swallowing back more tears, mac respectfully backed away, walking towards his parents graves. ironically, she chose to be buried in the same section that ellen and james macgyver lay to rest.
"mom. dad." mac greeted, kneeling by the headstones. "i miss her." he admitted quietly, letting the tears fall freely. his parents wouldn't judge. "i should have been watching. it's my fault she gave her own life for me. my fault she was put in the situation in the first place." mac wiped the tears away, hunching over as the sobs racked his body.
"all my fault." he sobbed, burying his face in his hands as the world as he knew it crumbled away. they had been through so much together, only for it to end so suddenly. he didn't even get the chance to say goodbye. "i'm sorry. i'm so sorry." mac cried and cried for the loss of his dear friend. "i'm so sorry." he repeated, sitting down hard, probably ruining his suit in the wet mud, but he didn't care.
"i have to make it up to her. but i don't know how." mac closed his eyes, and a flash of light caused him to startle, opening his eyes immediately. it was as if ellen and james were talking to him.
"mac, the best way to make it up to her is to move on. it'll be hard, but life goes on. she wouldn't want you crippled by depression, crying by her headstone. she would want you to keep saving the world, like how she used to do with you. you know that's what she'd want." ellen said kindly, her empty eyes twinkling.
james nodded, arm around his wife. "go on son. life goes on." he repeated and mac sighed, out of tears for the moment. "i can't do it without her." he admitted and ellen laughed. "you did it before. and you'll continue to do it mac. i believe in you. your father believes in you. your team believes in you. and most importantly, she believes in you. so go on. go save the world."
mac stood up, taking a deep breath. "mom, dad, thank you." he was talking to nobody. with a solemn smile on his face, mac made his way to rejoin to group. what happened to her was tragic, and mac knew he wouldn't ever be able to fully forgive himself for the tragedy. but his parents were right, he had to move on. life goes on, and mac's life was saving the world.
"we have a new mission." matty's voice interrupted his thoughts, and mac noticed the team staring at him tentatively. "what are we waiting for?" mac smiled softly. "life goes on."
and it did.