Chapter Text
Techno thought that he may spend too much time plotting.
Actually, that was a lie. He knew that, in most cases, the sheer amount of planning he did was absolutely necessary, and that was even more true this particular time. After all, it was Dream that he was dealing with, maybe the only other person on the planet who was willing to think as much as Techno about Minecraft strategy.
Of course, that just meant that Techno had to work twice as hard. He knew that Dream would take any opportunity that he saw, no matter how small, to edge him out as the dominant force in their team.
Techno wanted to scream. Why had he agreed to this?
He didn’t scream. Instead, he reviewed his pages of documents over and over again, reminding himself of how thoroughly he had planned for the first voice call with his new team. If anything went wrong, it would not be his fault.
His three teammates were already in the call. Techno knew that he should probably join, too. After all, he had insisted on rescheduling once already (he needed a few extra hours to put the final touches on his documents), so he should be prepared to jump in. He had no excuses, really.
Techno moved his mouse so that the cursor hovered over the button that would throw him into their call. He told himself sternly to click it, to just press down once.
He realized that he had not prepared enough. His plots weren’t even the main issue. The call was the main issue.
He should have seen this coming.
He should have texted Dream and asked how in character everyone would be for the call. What if one of them was recording for a video? Then he had to play his character. But what if nobody was, and then playing his character would just make him look like an arrogant jerk who didn’t really want to get to know his teammates? Plus, would they be upset at him for making an entire document without them? Probably at least Dream would be. Upsetting Dream might be funny for a few seconds, but it dawned on Techno that he didn’t want to upset his actual teammate that much. Should he just play along on the first day and then reveal the document once everyone else was able to briefly share their opinions?
Techno really, really did not want to join the call.
He took a deep breath. He would just go in and ask everyone if they were recording. Then he would bring up his plans because he had put time into them, but he would be careful not to talk over anyone. It would be awkward, probably, but he could do it.
He had to do it.
Techno joined the call and the next few hours passed in a blur. He concentrated on each individual second as it happened, feeling far too aware of every choice that he made. By the time a new opportunity to make a joke came up, he had already forgotten the previous one that he had told. His teammates’ reactions lost all meaning somewhere between his ears and his brain, but he took note of them regardless, reminding himself which ones were louder and which were quieter.
By the time he had said goodbye to Michael, Burren, and Dream, Techno was completely exhausted. He sat still in his chair, noticing for the first time that his breathing was less steady than it probably should be. He tried to focus on it for a few minutes.
He realized that he barely remembered anything that he had just done. He wasn’t particularly worried about that; it had happened before. He was confident that a few hours later, once he was trying to sleep or something equally important, the events of the night would suddenly be very vivid. He would analyze them whenever that happened.
For now, Techno was pretty sure that he hadn’t completely failed every interaction that he had just had. From what he could remember happening, he thought that he had probably made them laugh a few times. He tried to take comfort in their laughter. It was a good thing, he told himself.
Plus, he now had the vague impression that all of his teammates were nice, and at least tolerated him enough for their dynamic to work. Dream had seemed especially willing to joke around with him, even if he had been a bit oblivious. Techno could tell that the four of them would probably end up working together well, out of necessity if nothing else.
He still didn’t want to get into another call with them anytime soon. Techno was pretty sure that they had scheduled one for tomorrow, because the time had been sent to their groupchat by Dream. That was unfortunate.
Did they know how tonight had gone, for him?
Techno would never ask. He knew that none of their possible answers was good.
He felt very, very alone.
Techno tried not to think about the people who would have been able to tell, instantly, that he was not okay. It was a very short list. On it was his family, of course, and maybe three people outside of that.
Well. Exactly three people.
Any of those three people would have helped.
Wilbur would have made sarcastic comments until one registered enough for Techno to snap out of his trance. Phil would have laughed at every joke that Techno tried to make, even if it wasn’t funny. Tommy would have tried to intimidate whoever was making Techno anxious, and failed so badly that it was impossible for Techno to worry about himself anymore.
All three would have called him afterwards. They probably would have called him ahead of time, too, acting on a hunch that things were about to go wrong.
Techno kept Discord open, just in case someone decided to contact him. Of course, there was no call. There was no way for his friends to be able to know what had happened. They probably thought that he was currently joking around with Dream and completely destroying him at PvP or something, if they even thought about him at all.
They were probably better off without him.
Techno knew that his friends were all extroverts. They loved meeting new people and coming up with jokes in the moment, and Tommy in particular didn’t even seem to care if he embarrassed himself in public. Techno felt like a burden whenever his friends brought him into a call with others. They deserved better than someone who had to be taken care of before and after every social interaction with a new person.
They were all thriving without him, too. Tommy was getting more viewers than ever before, Wilbur had a new house, and Phil had arranged a meeting between every one of Techno’s friends who lived in the EU.
Not getting invited had probably been his fault. Techno knew that it had been too long since he had contacted them. First, there had been the potato war, and then the sleepless nights before the last MCC, and then there had been training for this one. There had been research to do and plans to make, and Techno had never been able to pull himself away from the rare project that he was able to actually focus on.
Once everything had settled down a tiny bit and Techno had the time to interact with other people again, he had noticed the changes in his friends. Wilbur and Phil had stopped contacting him at all, and Tommy was acting differently. He was putting on his character again every time that he messaged.
It made Techno feel sick, but he knew that most of his problems could be traced back to his own behavior.
If his friends wanted to be distant, Techno understood. He could leave them alone.
Instead, he could focus on preparing for MCC. Everyone was expecting him to perform at his best, and it would be easy for them to compare him and Dream on every game. There were always more possibilities for Techno to plan for, and more games for him to practice until he had perfected them. If he wanted to meet peoples’ expectations, he had to keep working in the obsessive way that he had become famous for.
Dream talked about George and Sapnap all the time. Techno couldn’t do the same about Wilbur, Phil, and Tommy. He felt like the worst person in the world.
When he wasn’t on call with Dream, he put on his friends’ streams in the background.
Tommy still messaged him every day. He was always in character now.
Techno figured that he was owed one response, at least, but he couldn’t think of anything to say that would convey everything he was thinking without making Tommy feel guilty. He had never been good at saying things when it counted.
Sometime between practicing parkour and practicing dodgebolt, Techno decided to check Twitter, only to see that Wilbur, Phil, and Tommy were together in person. He was suddenly very aware of how long it had been since he had left his computer for any reasonable length of time.
Without thinking, he made a reply. It was more desperate than he had been wanting to appear, and he regretted posting it the second that people started noticing it.
He hadn’t expected Wilbur, Phil, and Tommy to all respond. He hadn’t expected them to seem to miss him so much.
He had no clue what to do in response, so he went back to practicing for Minecraft Championships. Dream called him once, but Techno didn’t pick up. He wanted time to think.
He couldn’t pay attention to any of his games. After throwing one too many times, Techno closed Minecraft for the first time in a week and got out of his chair to start pacing around his room.
He could have laughed if he didn’t feel a hole growing in his stomach. Everything had been so much easier when he thought that he was doing Wilbur, Phil, and Tommy a favor by leaving them alone.
Techno knew what he had to do. He had put it off for too long.
He had no clue how he would even begin to explain his absence, so Techno spent the rest of the day writing a script. It had explanations and apologies and was far too long. He hated every minute that he spent writing it, but coming up with the same words on the spot would have been worse.
Techno hoped that Wilbur still followed the same schedule that he did months ago. If he did, Phil and Tommy were probably also following it right now.
Techno added the three of them to a call. He sat frozen for a few minutes, trying to keep his breath steady.
He made the call.
Even though he hadn’t given any warning, he didn’t have to wait. Wilbur joined almost instantly.
“Techno?” Wilbur sounded more shocked than Techno had ever heard him.
“Uh, yeah. Hello.”
“Well, this is certainly a surprise. Hang on a second, let me just—”
Techno could hear Wilbur yell at Tommy to get on fucking call, yes I know you’re busy, you’ll be mad at me if you’re not a part of this. How had he already forgotten that they were staying in the same house?
“Sorry, Techno, Tommy’ll just be a minute. Phil’s home already, so I can’t say for sure about him, but I’m guessing that he’ll be on soon too.”
“Cool.” Techno played with his script, selecting random text on the page and moving his cursor around. He had completely failed to sound excited, but Wilbur had always been able to tell what he was feeling no matter how monotone his voice was.
“So, why did you call? Any particular reason?”
“Nothing big. I was just missin’ you.”
“What, me specifically? Oh, Technoblade, I am flattered!”
Techno snorted. “Yeah, you specifically. I just added Tommy for the content.”
Tommy chose that exact moment to join. He had always had excellent timing.
“Techno? You bitch, Wilbur, you didn’t tell me that it was Techno! I would have picked up right away!”
Wilbur laughed. “You know, Tommy, you could have listened to me for five seconds and we wouldn’t be in this position.”
“Or, maybe, you could have just told me—”
Phil joined while Tommy was still talking. Techno sighed and looked at his script again. His ears were ringing.
“Techno? Mate?” There was disbelief in Phil’s voice.
“Yep, it’s me. Hello, Phil.” Techno took a deep breath. He would have to tell them everything, soon, and then things would be serious and far less fun.
“I can’t fucking believe it!” Phil sounded so happy. Techno hadn’t realized how long it had been since he had heard Phil’s laughter on call.
Tommy had stopped talking without Techno noticing. For a few seconds, there was silence. Techno prepared to break it.
Wilbur moved first. “So. What have you been doing without us?” His question could have been bitter, Techno knew, but he didn’t sound upset at all. If anything, he sounded worried.
“Yeah, have you been okay? It’s been a while.” Phil seemed genuinely concerned.
Tommy was quiet, which said more than any words he could have added.
Techno smiled and closed the tab where he had written his script. He didn’t know why he had thought that he would need it. More than anything, he wanted to tell them about how awkward he felt with his new team, and how badly he needed the three of them back. He wanted to tell them about how he had been training in Minecraft without giving himself any breaks, just so that he wouldn’t disappoint anyone at the next Championships. He wanted to tell them about how lost he had felt without them, and how certain he had been that they didn’t feel the same way.
There would be hours, and then weeks, for him to say all of that. More than anything, Techno realized, he just wanted to be with his friends.
“I’m gonna be fine. I’ll tell you about everythin’ later, I promise. First, I have to ask you guys a question.”
“And what would that be?” Wilbur’s voice was light. He could probably already guess what Techno was about to say. The two of them had always shared their sense of humor.
“How did you all pick up so fast? Have you been waitin' for me for two whole months?”
Techno could hear the smile in Wilbur’s voice from across the ocean. “Oh, Technoblade. You’re the one who said that you called just because you missed us. I haven’t ever seen you admit to having that many emotions before!”
Tommy gasped. “Wait, really? He did? When did he do that?”
“While you were busy bein’ late, Wilbur and I had a whole conversation. It was very emotional.”
Phil laughed, and then all of a sudden all four of them were laughing. The conversation moved on. Techno would tell them everything in time, but tonight all that any of them wanted was to mess around until the past two months were a distant memory.
Nobody denied Techno's accusation, and he didn't want them to. They all knew exactly how long they had been waiting.