Chapter Text
Katya had all but forgotten about the encounter with the confused stranger until later that night. After their mini photo shoot, they had spent some time walking around the different booths, Katya trying to find the weirdest art she could and Trixie following along amusedly. Gradually, the tension had dissolved and the entire interaction with the stranger had left Katya’s mind. Now, they were relaxing on the couch in Trixie’s apartment, tired after a long day of walking around. They’re both relaxing in each other’s company, not feeling the need to fill the space with conversation, and scrolling through their phones.
Katya pulls up Instagram, checking on the notifications she’s gotten since she posted the photo earlier. There’s a notification that Trixie tagged her in a photo and she clicks on it, leaving a like and a comment on the post, knowing that if she doesn’t, Trixie will just steal her phone later and do it herself. As she continues through the notifications, one in particular catches her eye. Under the photo she posted is a comment reading you guys are so cute together <3
Katya snorts. That’s the second time in one day that they’ve been mistaken as a couple, and in the exact same words too, not to mention the times before today that this exact thing has happened. At this point, she can’t do anything but laugh about it, even just to mask her bewilderment.
“Hm,” Trixie hums, turning her head to look at what Katya finds amusing.
“This Instagram comment,” Katya explains, turning her phone and holding it out so Trixie can see the screen.
Trixie snorts and gives the phone back to Katya. She seems unaffected by the comment, seeming to find the humor in it even after Katya screwed up when that woman said the same thing to them earlier. They resume sitting in a comfortable silence, both doing their own thing.
However, Katya finds herself unable to brush the comment off this time. After so many people assuming her and Trixie are dating, she still can’t figure out what people are seeing that she isn’t. The photo she posted isn’t out of the ordinary, she has dozens of photos of her and her friends posing with each other. Hell, she has pictures of her in far more explicit poses with many of her other friends. She’s never seen anything wrong about showing affection to her friends and she flaunts her sexuality any chance she gets, and yet she’s only ever mistaken as a couple with Trixie.
Katya loves touching people. She loves to hug people and feel them against her, she loves to hold her friends’ hands just to know that they’re there, she loves to grab onto the arms or legs or fingers of the person she’s talking to. She just loves physical affection, it reassures her that she is physically present and it’s her way of showing her interest in other people when she’s with them.
Katya, however, is not used to other people seeing her affection as romantic. She’s never had friends, family, and even strangers assume she is dating any of her other friends the way she’s experienced with Trixie, and she just can’t figure out why it seems to keep happening.
“Kat, I can hear you thinking from over here, what’s up?” Trixie breaks Katya out of her rapidly swirling thoughts, using her socked toes to nudge Katya’s thigh to gain her attention.
Katya can’t seem to pull herself out of her spiral though, there has to be a reason this has happened so many times, is there any truth to what they’re saying? Are they acting like a couple and Katya just hasn’t realized? “Are we dating?” she asks abruptly, before she can stop herself. She immediately regrets the question, she knows they aren’t dating, she’s just overthinking things like usual, but she can’t take it back now.
Trixie is quiet for a beat before she breaks out into her screaming laughter. “Wh—Katya what? What are you asking me?” she asks incredulously and a bit manic.
“Are we dating?” Katya asks again, more firmly this time. She knows she’s being crazy and that the question is crazy, but now that she asks it she needs to know Trixie’s answer, so she stands her ground.
“Yes, I heard you the first time,” Trixie responds, a little exasperated. She clicks her phone off and puts it face down on the coffee table in front of them, turning her body to face Katya with one leg tucked up underneath her, giving the conversation her full attention.
“Well, are we?” Katya questions back, finding it hard to meet Trixie’s eyes that are looking at her intensely.
Trixie takes a minute to respond, shifting in her seat uncomfortably. When she finally responds, her voice is shaking ever so slightly, “Is this your way of asking me out you absolute psychopath?”
Katya let’s out a wheeze, glad that Trixie isn’t angry with her, and even more glad that she’s making jokes with her still, even if she can tell that Trixie is a little uncomfortable at the moment with the way she has tensed up in her seat. She appreciates Trixie’s attempt to lighten the mood, but she would prefer Trixie to give her a straight answer and put her out of her misery.
“Everyone keeps mistaking us as a couple,” she says as if that explains her entire thought process.
Trixie’s mouth opens slightly, unsure what to say to that and a little in shock at how this conversation has gone. “Just because people think something, doesn’t mean it’s true,” she finally responds, speaking slowly, like she’s explaining something that should be obvious to a small child.
“Duh, I know that, but I can’t figure out why it keeps happening,” Katya says, slapping her hands down on the couch to emphasize her desperation.
Trixie is avoiding eye contact now. She isn’t responding anymore, instead, fiddling awkwardly with her hands and looking down at her lap, clearly uncomfortable. Katya lets her mind wander off again in the silence. There has to be a reason for this happening so many times and she is determined to figure out what that reason is so she can fix it and stop making Trixie uncomfortable.
She thinks back to the first time this happened, when Ginger had been so sure that they were a couple, even thinking that Katya was lying when she denied it. Ginger knows her better than almost anyone, sometimes she knows Katya better than she knows herself, so what was she seeing that Katya wasn’t?
And then it hits her.
She likes Trixie.
Oh.
Obviously she knew she liked her before, they’re friends, best friends, and Katya is never happier or calmer than when she’s with Trixie. She’s also not blind to the fact that Trixie is attractive, when they first met Katya was attracted to her, but it became clear that she wanted to be Trixie’s friend, so she never acted on her sexual attraction. But it never occurred to her that she likes Trixie. In a romantic way.
Suddenly everything makes sense, all of the time that she spends thinking about Trixie, the way her whole body warms up when Trixie touches her, how seeing Trixie makes her happy even on her worst days. She’s had a crush on her friend this whole time and she didn’t even know. She feels like an idiot.
She looks over at Trixie who has her eyes still trained on her lap. Did Trixie know that Katya had a crush on her? She must have, if everyone else could see it then Trixie must have too, she’s not stupid. Fuck. Trixie’s probably been taking pity on her this whole time. If she liked Katya back she would have said something, so clearly Katya is the only one with feelings.
“I am so sorry,” Katya says, resigned to the fact that she’s made a fool of herself and determined to let Trixie know that she won’t have to deal with Katya pining after her anymore, even if it means spending less time with her.
Trixie finally looks up at her, eyes filled with confusion and panic. Katya’s breath hitches, now that she knows she has feelings, looking at Trixie feels different. She’s always known that Trixie is pretty, but this is different. Katya is finally aware of the emotions she’s been holding back and she is certain that she has never seen anyone more beautiful than the blonde in front of her in her entire life. Losing her is going to be devastating.
“What are you apologizing for?” Trixie’s voice is straining a little as she asks.
“I’m an idiot,” Katya says as a way of explaining.
“Finally something we can agree on,” Trixie jokes back. She smiles a little when she says it and Katya feels a tiny bit of hope that maybe things can be okay after this.
Katya laughs a little at the joke, but the weight of what’s happening is sitting heavy on her chest so it’s missing her usual bright energy.
“Why are you an idiot?” Trixie asks when Katya doesn’t make a move to say anything else.
Katya takes a deep breath to steady herself and get ready to potentially ruin one of the best friendships she’s ever had, “I just realized I have a crush on you and I’ve been pining after you like an idiot and you’re been taking pity on me and everyone saw it but me and I am so so sorry Trixie, I didn’t mean toー,” she rushes out in a single breath, only stopping when Trixie puts her hand on her knee, bringing her rapid speech to a halt.
“Woah, woah, slow down,” Trixie says with a completely unreadable look on her face, “repeat that?”
“I,” Katya pauses to take a steadying breath, “I have a crush on you,” she says quietly, looking down so she doesn’t have to see the pitying look she knows is on Trixie’s face.
Trixie is completely silent, her hand is still on Katya’s knee but she is completely still. Katya gives her space to take in the information, trying hard not to panic. After the longest silence of her life, Katya looks up at Trixie, whose mouth is open in shock, and softly says, “please say something.”
“You have a crush on me?” Trixie repeats back at her, shock evident in her voice.
That wasn’t what Katya was expecting, she thought Trixie would have known. Katya cocks her head in confusion, “you didn’t know?”
Trixie shakes her head slowly, she looks bewildered. Katya’s relieved that at least Trixie didn’t know, maybe she wasn’t taking pity on her this whole time after all.
“I’m sorry,” Katya says again.
“Why are you sorry?” Trixie’s eyes snap back up to hers.
“Because we’re friends, you don’t need me pining after you like an idiot,” Katya looks back down at her lap as she says it.
“You’re right,” Trixie says.
Katya feels like her heart stops and speeds up at the same time. She knew this would happen, but it doesn’t hurt any less, she was at least hoping to be let down easy.
“You are an idiot,” Trixie continues.
“I know and I’m sorry, you won’t have to put up with it anymore, I’ll leave you alone,” Katya says, hoping Trixie can hear the sincerity in her voice even through her sadness.
“No, you don’t get it,” Trixie sounds exasperated now, like Katya is missing something so obvious, but she isn’t sure what she could be missing.
Katya raises her head back up to look at Trixie, she has a smile on her face and Katya feels her stomach twist, she never thought Trixie would take pleasure in her pain, Trixie has never been cruel before.
“What do you mean?” Katya’s voice is small.
“You’re an idiot because I clearly like you too,” Trixie sighs, her smile growing a little at the admission.
Wait, what? Trixie likes her back? Did she hear that correctly?
“What?” Katya asks, confusion taking over.
“I like you too, you absolute dumb bitch,” Trixie says more assertively, putting her hand back on Katya’s knee and squeezing.
Katya grabs Trixie’s arm and starts laughing, she can’t help it, she can’t believe this is happening. Trixie likes her back.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Katya asks, interested in why her friend has kept this hidden when she is usually so upfront about her thoughts and feelings.
“I didn’t think you liked me back,” Trixie’s voice is small again, she has a slight blush forming on her cheeks and she’s looking away again.
A fresh wave of guilt washes over her at the thought of making Trixie feel that way, for hurting her even if it was unintentional. Granted, she didn’t even know she had a crush on Trixie, but now that she knows she can’t fathom the idea of not showing Trixie exactly how much she likes her.
“We’re idiots,” Katya says, “we’ve been dating this whole time haven’t we?”
Trixie laughs at that, a blush spreading over her face, “I thought we were at first,” she admits shyly.
“What?” Katya practically yells, slapping Trixie’s arm, shocked at the new information.
“I flirted with you the night we met, I thought you were flirting back, and then you started inviting me places and I thought they were dates, but then you told Kim we weren’t dating when you met her and I realized I was being stupid the whole time,” Trixie explains, hardly looking at Katya as she does so.
Katya opens and closes her mouth, trying to find something, anything to say to that. “Trixie,” she starts, pausing again to gather herself, but all that comes out is a flabbergasted, “what?”
“I know, I know, I’m stupid,” she says, her blush darkening more than Katya thought possible.
“I never even kissed you,” Katya says, trying to fathom how she could have unknowingly taken Trixie on dates. And why Trixie would keep going on them when Katya was clearly bad at them.
“I just thought you were taking things slow,” Trixie shrugs, embarrassed.
Katya screams, “Oh my god!”
Trixie covers her face with her hands to hide her embarrassment.
“Oh my god!” she says again, “I can’t believe this, we are so stupid,” she’s cackling now.
Trixie’s face is still buried in her hands, but she’s laughing along anyway.
Katya scoots down the couch so she’s closer to Trixie, trying to pry her hands away from her face to no avail. “Trixie can you look at me?” Katya asks, a smile in her voice.
Trixie shakes her head stubbornly, not ready to face her embarrassment yet.
“Come on, look at me,” Katya encourages softly, rubbing her hands up and down Trixie’s arms gently in a way she hopes is comforting.
Slowly, Trixie removes her hands from her face and sits up to face Katya, her face is still bright red and Katya has never seen anything as cute as a blushing Trixie. “Hi,” is all she says when Trixie finally looks her in the eye.
Trixie rolls her eyes fondly, “hi,” she says back with the same fondness.
“We are dumb,” Katya says matter of factly.
“Yes we are,” Trixie agrees, smiling again.
“I’m gonna kiss you now,” Katya says, not giving Trixie any time to react before she starts leaning in, planting her lips on Trixie’s in a gentle kiss. She moves her lips against her softly, taking her time to pour all of her affection into the kiss. After several seconds, she pulls away parting their lips, but keeping her face close to Trixie’s.They’re both smiling at each other, resting their foreheads together, just soaking in the moment.
The shift from Katya’s earlier feelings of doom and guilt to these new feelings of fondness and warmth is like day and night and she can’t believe how lucky she is to have it end up like this. She hasn’t completely wrapped her head around the fact that Trixie actually likes her, that her feelings are returned.
Being in relationships used to terrify her, having someone else’s expectations that felt she had to live with always caused her to panic and end things, but she doesn’t feel like that now. Being friends with Trixie always made her feel safe and comfortable, and now being with her feels like coming home. She knows that Trixie doesn’t expect anything of her that she can’t give and it makes her feel hopeful that she can be someone that is good at relationships if it’s with Trixie.
She takes her time to study Trixie’s face up close, appreciating her soft features, Trixie is looking right back at her.
“So,” Katya practically whispers, “are we dating?” she echos her question from earlier, although this time it makes a touch more sense. She feels a hopeful flutter in her stomach this time too instead of the earlier swarm of confusion.
“Is this your way of asking me out, you absolute psychopath?” Trixie answers back the same way she did earlier, but her smile is genuine this time, she isn’t trying to mask her feelings anymore.
“Yeah,” Katya says simply, “do you want to date me?”
“God yes,” Trixie practically melts into Katya’s body, grasping her waist and pulling her in for another kiss.
This time, the kiss isn’t gentle, it’s urgent and hungry, built on months of buildup that Katya was unaware of up until now. Trixie pulls her body closer and Katya cups her face, deepening the kiss so she can gently urge her tongue into Trixie’s mouth. Trixie moans into her mouth when their tongues touch for the first time and Katya feels a heat move straight through her body, settling deep in her stomach. She moves her hands around Trixie’s head, lacing her fingers through Trixie’s hair and playing with the curls at the base of her neck. When they start to lose air, Katya uses Trixie’s hair to tilt Trixie’s head back, tugging it gently, and kissing down her neck instead. Trixie whines and Katya moves to climb into Trixie’s lap, planting her knees on either side of Trixie’s lap.
Katya comes back up to kiss her on the lips again, swallowing all of the delightful noises coming out of Trixie before pulling away. Trixie tries to pull her back, pouting at the loss of Katya’s lips and Katya almost gives in because of how cute she looks when she pouts.
“I need to fuck you right now or I might die,” Katya says with a serious face.
Trixie screams, pushing Katya off her lap so they can get up and go to her bedroom.