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Maybe I Don't Quite Know What to Say, But I'm Here in Your Doorway

Chapter 2

Summary:

Amity and Luz talk about the previous day's events.

Notes:

(See the end of the chapter for notes.)

Chapter Text

When she arrives at the Owl House and sees Luz, safe and unharmed just like Willow said, the relief is so strong that before Amity is fully aware of what she’s doing, she has pulled Luz into a crushing hug.

She’s here. She’s okay. Head buried in Luz’s shoulder, Amity realizes she’s trembling.

Luz must be able to feel it, because she rubs Amity’s back soothingly. Dimly, Amity is aware that she’s dropped her crutches, and that she’s leaning on Luz for support. Thankfully, Luz doesn’t seem to mind. “Hey Amity, it’s okay. We’re all okay. Me and Eda, and King, and even Lilith.”

“Lilith?!” Amity exclaims, startled, pulling away to look for her mentor. “Is she here? I’d-”

Luz takes her by the shoulders, steadying her as she wobbles on her good leg and directing Amity’s attention back to her. “Yeah. It’s a long story. She… helped me save Eda.” Her expression darkens. “Of course, she’s the one who captured Eda in the first place, and almost killed me in the process…” 

She almost WHAT?!

“And she’s the reason Eda’s cursed… but she betrayed the Emperor to help us, and then she took half of the curse from Eda, so… it’s complicated.”

Amity barely hears that last part. “She almost KILLED you?!” she practically shrieks, unable to contain herself. “Okay, where is she?” Her eyes sweep the room again, searching for Lilith. All her fear has turned to anger. Amity doesn’t think she’s ever felt so angry before.

Her strength of feeling certainly seems to surprise Luz. “Amity, wait! It’s okay. Look - I’m fine!” Luz hurries to reassure her, drawing Amity’s attention back to herself. She holds Luz’s gaze as though it’s a lifeline, her anger slowly draining away. Luz is here. Luz is okay. 

She’s breathing hard, she realizes.

“Sorry, Luz,” she says, making a conscious effort to calm herself, to slow her breathing down. “When I heard what was happening, I- I was just… really worried about you.”

Luz’s eyes widen at Amity’s words, and a faint blush dusts her cheeks. Amity hopes fervently that she hasn’t revealed too much. She isn’t ready for Luz to know about her feelings. Not just yet.

Then Luz’s face breaks into a soft, genuine smile. Closing the distance between them, she wraps her arms around Amity. It’s a much more gentle hug than the one Amity had initiated. 

When she eventually pulls away, Luz’s eyes are full of an emotion Amity can’t quite place.

“Thanks Amity,” Luz says softly. “You’re a really good friend.”

Her voice cracks slightly on the word friend . Amity tries not to read too much into that.

“Come on,” Luz says, retrieving one of the crutches and handing it to Amity. Then she takes Amity’s free hand in hers, as if it were nothing, as if the action doesn’t immediately cause Amity to blush and obsess and revel in the contact, all her attention focused on the point where their hands meet. As always, Luz is oblivious to the effect she has on Amity.

“Let’s go up to my room, and I’ll tell you the whole story.”



***



“Wow, Luz. That’s… a lot to take in.”

They’re sitting in Luz’s bedroom. Luz has just finished relaying the events of the past couple days to Amity, who is struggling to process the information. She spent yesterday so afraid for Luz, and now she’s here, listening to Luz describe her confrontation with Emperor Belos as though holding one’s own against the strongest witch on the Boiling Isles were a normal, everyday occurrence. 

Luz had to save Eda, so she did. It’s as simple as that, to hear her tell it. Amity can only marvel at her. She wonders if Luz knows just how incredible she is.

 “I can’t believe you faced the Emperor like that. You’re so brave, Luz,” she says, feeling her heart swell with affection and pride, and maybe a little jealousy. But one emotion is stronger than all the rest.

She’s come so far in such a short amount of time. She has such strength, and she is utterly fearless.

I love her so much. 

Some might say it’s silly, for a fourteen year old to claim she’s in love. But Amity knows she is. 

 “Well, I don’t think he was using his full strength on me, or I wouldn’t have stood a chance,” Luz admits. “But I did land a hit on him,” she adds with a smile. “And I did outsmart him. I destroyed the portal.” 

Her voice wavers on the word portal and she looks away, but not before Amity sees the way her face falls.

Oh, Luz.

“Hey,” Amity says softly, reaching out to place a comforting hand on Luz’s shoulder, “We’ll find you another way home.”

She hadn’t been able to help the tiny, traitorous stab of joy she’d felt upon hearing that Luz’s time on the Boiling Isles might be extended, and she does feel guilty for that. But she also knows that she would give anything, do anything to get the portal back for Luz, just to see her smile.

Even if it means saying goodbye to Luz, possibly forever.

“Eda said she’d try,” Luz says thickly, sniffling a little, “But Eda’s lost her magic and I just… I don’t even know where to start.” Tears have begun to trickle down her cheeks, and the sight makes Amity’s heart ache.

“I’ll help” she promises, wishing she was brave enough to reach up and wipe away Luz’s tears. “We all will. Willow, Gus. All of us.” She tries to smile reassuringly, though it’s hard when she feels moments away from crying herself. “We’re your friends, Luz, and we love you. We’re here for you.”

I love you. I wish I could tell you how much.

Luz is crying harder now, and Amity feels a little panicky. Did I say the wrong thing?  

“I’m sorry, Luz, I didn’t mean to-” 

Before she can finish, Luz pulls her into a fierce hug, burying her head in Amity’s shoulder.

Oh.

Now it’s Amity’s turn to rub soothing circles on Luz’s back while the other girl fights to bring herself under control, trying desperately to ignore the fact that she is holding the object of her affection in her arms. Luz’s hair is soft against Amity’s cheek, and Amity wonders if it is possible to die of love for someone.

It seems like only seconds have passed before Luz gently extricates herself, sitting back on her heels and wiping the remaining tears from her face. Her eyes are red from crying, and Amity wants nothing more than to hold her again.

“Sorry about that,” Luz says, sounding a little embarrassed. Before Amity can reassure her, she adds, “And sorry if it seems like... I don’t know, like I don’t want to be here. Because that’s definitely not the case.” 

She pauses, and Amity waits, sensing there is more to come.

“The truth is, I prefer it here. I never really fit in, back in the human world. Here, I have friends, and I’m learning magic! It’s a dream come true.”

Luz smiles at Amity, a little tremulously. “You and Gus and Willow are the best friends I’ve ever had, and Eda and King are my family now. You all mean so much to me, and I would never want to leave you - not permanently, anyways.” She hesitates. “But… my mom. She’s in the human realm, and I miss her, and I don’t know if I’ll ever see her again.”

Luz’s voice breaks, and Amity can see that she’s crying again. “I’m sorry,” Luz says, eyes downcast.

She sounds so small and sad, and Amity’s heart breaks for her.

“Please don’t apologize, Luz,” she says, wanting so badly to comfort her. She reaches for Luz's hand, taking it and holding it in both of hers. For once, the contact doesn’t make her blush. “Of course you miss your mom. And you don’t ever need to apologize for being sad. You’re always there for everyone else. Let us be there for you, too.”

Luz looks like she wants to believe her. “I’ll try,” she says. “It’s just - I’m scared of being… I don’t know. Too much.”

She says it in a way that leads Amity to believe she’s speaking from experience. That she’s been too much for people, before. And Amity is angry, so angry at whoever it was that made Luz feel that way. 

“You could never be too much for me,” Amity promises fervently, with an intensity that surprises even her. “ Never.”

Luz looks at her, wide-eyed, and it’s as if Amity can feel her words hanging heavily in the air between them. She begins to worry that she’s come on too strong.

Then Luz does the last thing Amity expects.

She kisses her.

It all happens so fast, Amity doesn’t have time to react. One moment Luz is sitting across from her, then suddenly she’s lunging forward and pressing her lips to Amity’s.

The kiss is brief, and tear-filled, and achingly sweet. It ends before Amity’s even recovered from the initial shock, and all she can think is that she wants more.

Instinctively, she tries to follow Luz as the other girl pulls away, but Luz is too fast. She practically throws herself away from Amity, scrambling backwards until she reaches the far wall.

“I’m so sorry, Amity!” she says, loud and panicky, and Amity is still too dazed to really process what is going on.

Luz just kissed me…

Belatedly, she can feel a blush rising in her cheeks.

Then Luz’s words actually register in her brain.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Luz continues, “I know you like someone else. I just, I don’t know, got caught up in the moment! It won’t happen again. Please say you forgive me.”

Luz is sorry she kissed her? Does that mean she didn’t want to? Amity can’t keep up.

There’s one thing Luz said that is definitely wrong, though, and Amity feels the need to correct her. The words come pouring out of her before she can stop them.

“Luz, I don’t like someone else. I like you.”

Then her brain catches up with her mouth and she flushes bright red, pulling her knees to her chest and burying her face in them with a small squeak of embarrassment. 

Well, it’s out there now. No going back.

She risks a peek. Luz looks stunned. “You do?” she asks, and she’s blushing.

Luz, you idiot.

She nods, not trusting herself to speak. She can hear Luz moving closer, and then the other girl’s hand is on her shoulder.

“Amity, look at me. Please?”

Amity doesn’t think she can deny Luz anything. She raises her head. Luz’s face is only inches from hers, and she’s looking at Amity with such a fond expression that she thinks her heart will melt.

“I like you too,” Luz says, and Amity wonders vaguely if this is all a dream. She’s certainly dreamed about Luz saying those words to her before. More than once, even.

But no. There’s Luz’s hand, warm and solid on her shoulder. She’s close enough that Amity can hear her breathing, can feel Luz’s breath on her cheek. She’s awake.

And Luz likes her.

Suddenly Amity feels as light as air. She smiles at Luz. 

“That thing we did before,” she says, with a confidence that surprises her, “Do you want to maybe… try it again?”

“Absolutely,” says Luz, smiling the first true smile Amity’s seen from her all day. She leans in, and when their lips meet, it’s as if Luz has set off a hundred of her light glyphs in Amity’s chest.

It’s a new feeling, warm and fizzy and electrifying. Amity decides she likes it.

They still have a lot to figure out, like the portal, and Lilith, and what all this means for the future Amity has been working towards in the Emperor’s Coven. Like this new thing between them; what it is and what it means. 

But Amity is sure of one thing. They’ll figure things out together.



Notes:

And that concludes this little story! I hope you enjoyed it.

I feel like Luz would be struggling with the loss of the portal, because even though she prefers the Boiling Isles, it's clear that she loves her mom. And she's comfortable enough with Amity to let those feelings out, though she's still self conscious about it. That's my interpretation, anyways :)

Come yell at me about The Owl House on tumblr: https://justamitythings.tumblr.com/

Notes:

I woke up the other morning with a scene from this fic in my head, and just immediately started writing it.

I've been wanting to explore how Amity might have been feeling during the events of Young Blood, Old Souls, as well as how her next meeting with Luz might go (particularly given that Luz has been through quite a lot, though she puts on a brave face). This is my attempt to do that.

I wrote the whole thing in a day, so it's complete, but I think it works best split into two parts. I'll post part two tomorrow.

Yes, the title is from a song. Points if you can name it :)