Chapter Text
“Izuku, please don’t be scared.”
Hearing voices.
“My name is Mandalay. I’m a hero. We’re coming for you.”
Hero? No heroes are coming for me.
“Try and stay calm. If there’s anyone else with you, don’t let them know I’m talking to you.”
No one in the room. No one comes. I’m alone.
“We’re on our way. We’re in the base now.”
Banging and crashing. The ground is shaking. No!
“Izuku, it’s alright.”
No! This happened before. I’ll be taken away again!
“Izuku we’re right outside the door. We’re going to get you out of here.”
All Might couldn’t save me! Sensei stopped him! Karimusho will take me away again! No one is coming for me!
“Izuku, please hang in there. We’re here. We’ve almost got you, just hold on a little bit longer.”
The door opened and the voice stopped. A tall man in all black entered. Sensei was here.
“I’m a hero and I’ve come to take you home.”
Sensei would never say that. The man said it again, and again. Sensei would never let a cruel joke last this long.
Soft scarf. Gentle hold. Maybe this isn’t Sensei. Maybe this …
Maybe this is a hero?
Gentle beeping filled Izuku’s ears as the fog that had overwhelmed his brain started to lift. His entire body felt so heavy. The air around him smelt clean and fresh, completely unlike his cell. Sounds were muffled and distant, only the beeping breaking through. Everything around him was soft. It enveloped him completely and Izuku couldn’t help but relax into it. He knew what this was. He’d dreamed about beds before. There was no way his cell would be this soft. The fog descended over him again, but Izuku didn’t mind it. If this bed was a dream, then he was going to make the most of it.
When the fog lifted again, everything was much clearer. His body didn’t feel quite so heavy, the sound wasn’t quite so muffled. The beeping was still there but he could hear other things as well. People speaking softly from somewhere, objects being moved. It was a nice change to the silence he usually heard in his cell. This dream was quite pleasant. He was in a soft bed and there were signs of life around him. At the very edge of his awareness he could sense something else, but the fog descended again, pulling him back into nothing.
The third time he came to, everything hit him clearly. He was lying on something soft, too soft. His cell was never soft. Something was lightly pressing down on him. When he shuffled slightly, he felt fabric underneath his arms. The smell in the air was clean, but he could just about detect the hint of chemicals. The beeping he could hear was starting to get faster. Chemicals meant Dr Tsubasa. Dr Tsubasa meant pain. Pain meant Sensei!
His eyes shot open, only to squint again at the light. The light was dimmer than his cell, and warmer than it or the lab had ever been. He was lying in a bed, with a blanket pulled up to his chest and his arms laid on top of it. What? Dr Tsubasa never used a bed. It was always an operating table with straps. Tubes were taped to his right arm and he felt the needles beneath his skin. The beeping was fast now as he ripped them out, throwing off the blanket because everything was wrong!
Was this just another ploy by Sensei? Try and make him feel safe so that he could pull the rug out from under him again, all so he could rub it in his face that the heroes weren’t coming to save him. Still, it must have been a mistake because Dr Tsubasa never would have not strapped him down. This was obviously some kind of lab that he’d never been to, and Dr Tsubasa wouldn’t want to him to possibly interfere with his experiments.
A door directly in front of him opened. Izuku yelped and basically jumped out of the bed, landing on the ground with a painful thump.
“Oh my goodness,” a voice said.
Izuku felt a presence approach him. He cried and whipped out his hand. The person, a woman dressed in blue scrubs, flew backwards through the air. She landed on the wall, but didn’t slide down it. She stuck to the wall, looking at him with a shocked expression. A clipboard attached to the bed, a chair and a vase filled with flowers also flew at the wall and they too stuck. But then the woman sat up. She seemed just as confused as Izuku was.
“Sweetpea, everything’s alright,” the woman said, holding her hands out to him.
Izuku crawled backwards, not taking his eyes off her. His heart was pounding in his chest. As he crawled, the room started shaking. Patterns started twisting into the walls around them as their features warped and repeated. The bed he’d been in slid away from him, being pushed by ripples in the floor. Izuku only stopped his frantic crawling when his back hit against the corner of the room. He hugged himself tightly, pulling his knees up and burying his face in them. Tears were streaming down his face as he ignored the chaos in the room.
What was going on? What was happening to the room? Why was it twisting and warping like that?
The door opened again and two men rushed in. The first man was wearing a white lab coat. Doctor! The doctor tried approaching him but Izuku buried his head further into his legs. He only just caught the way the floor stretched out underneath the doctors steps, stopping him from getting any closer like he was on a treadmill.
Wait, he’d seen this happen before. This was… He was doing this, like he’d done to his bedroom at home. This was… He was using his quirk. But how? Sensei never let him use it.
I’m a hero and I’ve come to take you home.
Was that real? Was that not a dream? Had he actually, finally, been saved?
All of sudden there was a rush of emptiness. The faint feeling at the edge of his senses vanished and Izuku couldn’t help the gasp as his head shot up. The woman slipped off the wall and there were several crashes as everything suddenly snapped back to normal in the room.
Kneeling in front of him was the other man who’d entered with the doctor. He was dressed in a black outfit with a long grey scarf. His hair was floating and his eyes were glowing a piercing red as he stared at him. Izuku immediately shrunk back as far as he could into the corner.
“I’m s-s-so-sorry! Pl-Plea-ease d-d-do-n’t! I-I-I’ll be-e-e g-g-ood-d!”
He didn’t dare look but he felt the emptiness go away. It was only when he heard a quiet sigh that he took a peak. The man was still there, though he’d moved to sit properly on the floor. He wasn’t coming closer. His hair wasn’t floating any more and Izuku was slightly confused to see that his eyes weren’t red but black. He didn’t look angry. Compared to some of the looks Izuku had gotten it looked basically pleasant.
“Kid, I’m not going to do anything,” he said.
His voice was low but not harsh, almost as though this was his normal tone. Izuku couldn’t help but raise his head a little.
“You’re quirk was going out of control, and we didn’t want you or any one else to get hurt,” the man said.
“I-I’m so-so-rry. I-I d-didn’t… pl-plea-se do-do-don’t,” Izuku whimpered.
“It’s not your fault kid.”
“Pl-plea-please don’t.”
The man frowned.
“Don’t what?”
Izuku winced. The man asked a question. Questions needed answers!
“Pl-please d-don’t ta-take it a-away ag-agai-gain,” Izuku rushed to answer, shrinking back into his ball.
The man’s eyes widened slightly.
“Kid, I need you to understand. You’ve been without your quirk for a long time, so either the doctors or myself may need to suppress it in case you lose control,” the man said, immediately continuing when Izuku flinched, “but I promise you it will only ever be temporary. We’re not going to take your quirk from you.”
Izuku’s hand unconsciously moved to his wrist, his fingertips ghosting across the skin. He stilled. Something was wrong. He lifted his head slightly. His eyes traced over the scratches that littered his right wrist, only they suddenly cut off when they met a patch of clear skin. It was hard and tough, calloused as Uncle Masaru would call it, but it was definitely where the cuff should have been, only it wasn’t there. The cuff was gone. The heroes had taken it off. He had… He had his quirk back!
His sudden escape from the bed caught up to him as a wave of exhaustion washed over him. He felt his eyes getting heavier, but he forced them to stay open. This person seemed nice enough, but there were other people around. Doctors who’d poke and prod at him. Adults who would make him run or force him to do horrible things. At least before he’d had a big heavy door so no one could just waltz in. Here, anyone could sneak in and he wouldn’t even know it. The man in black sighed again.
“Come on kid. Let’s get you back into bed.”
The man stood and gestured for Izuku to follow him, but he didn’t budge. The doctor was still watching them, looking expectant. Izuku pushed himself further into the corner. When he didn’t move, it felt like all eyes in the room fell on him and he shrunk down more. His heart was beating heavily and he felt so exposed. The room was big, which was good, but there were too many people and there were doctors! The man knelt down again.
“Is everything alright?”
Question! Questions needed answers!
But the man won’t like his answer because no, everything is not alright! Izuku was scared and confused and tired.
“Can you tell us what’s wrong?” the man asked, his voice still low but it held a gentle quality to it.
Another question! Izuku needed to answer!
“Do-doctor,” Izuku gasped out, immediately hiding behind his knees.
“Do you need a doctor?”
At the man’s words, the doctor started towards Izuku. As soon as he moved, Izuku flinched back, yelping as he hit his head against the wall. The floor stretched out between them, keeping the doctor away from him. The man tensed but otherwise didn’t do anything. His eyes stayed the same black as before. He held an arm out and the doctor stopped moving.
“Do you not like doctors?” the man asked.
Question!
“D-doctors h-h-hurt,” Izuku said with a wince.
Izuku didn’t want to keep looking. He kept waiting for the pain to come again. Sensei always hurt him if he took too long answering his questions. Nothing happened though. Izuku looked up, confused, when he heard the door open and close. The doctor had left the room. It was only him, the man in black and the nurse, though she was hovering near the door. Why weren’t they hurting him? Surely they mustn’t have liked his answers, so why?
“I know it’s hard. It’ll be hard to understand for a while, but I need you to know that nobody here wants to hurt you,” the man said, “the doctors here only want to see you get better. They’re not like the ones you’ve seen in that place.”
That couldn’t be true, right? Izuku had never seen a doctor who’d not hurt him. Even the quirk doctor most of his classmates saw turned out to be Dr Tsubasa.
Doctors hurt!
But this man hadn’t lied to him yet. He hadn’t hurt him yet. He said he was a hero, so maybe Izuku could believe him? Maybe?
Exhaustion was hitting him hard, it was a struggle to stay awake, but Izuku didn’t want to close his eyes. Even though he knew that the bed was soft, and that was something he’d wanted for so long, it just didn’t feel right. Not now that he was awake and could take in his surroundings. Still, he wanted to sleep.
The man must have seen him drifting off slightly because he shuffled forward slightly.
“Can I pick you up?” he asked.
Anybody else and Izuku would have said no, but this was the hero that took him away from his cell, that took him away from Sensei. He gave a small nod and the man inched forward. With slow and careful movements, he picked Izuku up and took him back to the bed. When he was laid back down, sleep rushed to try and take him, but Izuku fought against it. The nurse had moved forward. She explained that she wanted to fix up the machines again, her voice soft and gentle as her words became almost like a soothing lullaby. It mixed in with the feeling at the edge of his senses. As he drifted off, he didn’t notice the walls around him rippling slightly, nor the look that passed between the hero and the nurse. It all stopped when Izuku finally fell into a deep sleep.
Katsuki didn’t like the hard feeling in his chest. It sat there and made everything else feel awful. It dug around in every word and action of the people around him to find how badly they thought of him and threw that in his face. And when Katsuki lashed out, telling those people to stop seeing him like that, when he proved to himself that they were wrong, it would revel in how he’d only proved them all right.
Katsuki needs to learn how to control himself.
Katsuki’s a crybaby if he’s still sad Izuku’s gone.
Katsuki’s an idiot for liking that weirdo in the first place.
Katsuki needs therapy if we don’t want these issues to get worse.
It was awful, and he hated it, but he didn’t know how to stop! He worked so hard to control his quirk so he could be a good hero, and to show those morons he could control himself. He wasn’t a crybaby, he just wasn’t giving up on his friend. He would find Zuku and they’d be great heroes together, and show everyone that he wasn’t an idiot for being friends with Zuku in the first place! The people his parents took him to only wanted to talk about his feelings as if his feelings mattered when Zuku was still kidnapped by villains. Why was everyone wasting time talking when that wasn’t important!
The worst part though was that he knew that most people couldn’t do anything about it. He knew that his parents weren’t heroes, so they couldn’t really go out and investigate. They could kick up a fuss, and oh how they did that, but beyond that they were too limited. He knew that it was hurting them too, so why couldn’t he stop blaming them!
He knew it wasn’t their fault. They had no more reason to suspect that woman than Katsuki did. Everything had sounded so official, why wouldn’t they believe her? Katsuki knew that, but that didn’t stop the hard feeling from doubling down on it. They were the grown ups. They should have known better! They shouldn’t have let Zuku go!
It was awful, and Katsuki hated it, but he didn’t know how to stop.
This wasn’t to say he didn’t try. He always went to those doctors without a fuss, for the first session at least. He always rained hell on them when he realised how useless they were. He learned that it was better to disengage from arguments with his mother before his quirk started popping involuntarily. He’d quite happily take himself off to his room instead of shouting. Sure there was always door slamming and shouting happened anyway, but it was still him disengaging. That was something, right?
When his parents wanted him to have a different outlet than his quirk, he didn’t fuss when they took him to look at musical instruments. Katsuki went straight for the drums. His parents may or may not have paled, but they still put him in lessons which Katsuki excelled at because why wouldn’t he. He’d never say it out loud, but he was actually glad for the drums. The hard feeling was always smaller and he always felt better after a good session on the drums. His parents saw it as well so they didn’t complain about the noise.
It was three long years but Katsuki managed to make it through without burning all of his bridges. Mostly. He and his mom had seen better days. At least some things hadn’t changed, like now.
Katsuki was in the kitchen, absolutely not stood on a little stool so he could use the counters better. He was side by side with Dad, both in aprons. Katsuki was chopping vegetables while Dad was frying some meat for a stew. He’d found this recipe that he’d wanted to try. Katsuki didn’t really care as long as it was spicy. He finished chopping some peppers and slid them across to Dad, who scooped them up into the pot.
“Thumb Katsuki,” Dad said before he started on the onion.
Katsuki frowned, readjusted his grip, and beginning cutting with no more words from Dad. They both fell into the rhythm of cooking and Katsuki loved it. Even at his worst, his parents had never taken cooking with Dad from him. He guessed it was because that was the only time he’d be properly relaxed. It was something that Katsuki didn’t want to stop. Dad didn’t shout like Mom did. He’d chide and he’d warn, but it was always accompanied by how to do it properly, like not putting your thumb in the way of a knife. Katsuki really needed to get better at that.
“Ok, now that the water’s been added, we leave it to stew for a couple of hours,” Dad said as they washed their hands and wiped down the counters, “I’ll keep an eye on it so you go off and play.”
Katsuki nodded, stepping down from the stool. He only paused when Dad ran his hand gently through his hair. It was nice and always pushed down the hard feeling. Katsuki left the kitchen, ignored his mother in the living room and went to his bedroom. The sight of the empty half always made him pause. His parents had tried decorating it but he’d always refused. When that blonde kid from the park had come over that one time, he’d quickly learned not to comment on it. This was part of Katsuki’s promise, because this wasn’t just his room. This was his and Zuku’s room.
Katsuki crawled into the fort he and Zuku had made. It needed a couple of adjustments, but Katsuki quickly fixed it so it would stay standing. Pulling up the drawbridge, Katsuki shut out the world. Now it was just him and Zuku’s notebook. The notes were still impressive to him. He wanted to add to it with the new heroes that had debuted since there were still plenty of pages empty, but he couldn’t do it. His analysis would never be as good as Zuku’s. It wouldn’t feel right to add his own when Zuku would do a better job. The only place Katsuki had written in were the pages on himself, since those were already a mix of his and Zuku’s writing.
He skimmed over some of Zuku’s notes, wondering how what he’d written could be applied to his own quirk. From downstairs he could hear Mom and Dad talking but he ignored them. It wasn’t until he heard the sound of crying that he looked up. What the hell? Was that … Was that Mom crying?
Katsuki was so confused it took the opening of his bedroom door for him to snap out of his daze and lower the drawbridge. Crawling out into his room, he was immediately pulled into a tight hug. Wait, was Mom … hugging him … while crying? His arms went up to hug her back because something big must have happened for Mom to react like this. Dad knelt next to him and Katsuki turned his confused gaze to him. He also had wet eyes, but he was also smiling wide.
“Dad, wha-” Katsuki started.
Mom pulled back. She rubbed her eyes and muttered apologies. Katsuki was getting very concerned now, so much so that he couldn’t formulate a sentence. He kept looking from Mom to Dad to Mom again, silently begging one of them to just explain!
“Katsuki, we just got a call,” Dad said, “it was from a hero. You remember Eraserhead?”
Katsuki nodded, remembering the tired man with the long scarf. But why was he calling? Unless…
“They found him Katsuki,” Mom said around a small sob, “Izuku, they found him.”
Katsuki froze, eyes widening slowly. Zuku? They… They found Zuku? Katsuki didn’t register the tears rolling down his cheeks as he turned to Dad. The brown haired man gave him a nod.
“It’s true firecracker. Izuku’s safe now.”
The two adults knelt down and pulled Katsuki into a hug. Katsuki remained frozen, unable to comprehend what they were telling him. Zuku … was back? They’d found him? Very slowly, far too slowly for his liking, realisation washed over him. The tears came faster and faster, and Katsuki would never admit that he buried his face in his parents shoulders, allowing them to soak up the water that would not stop coming.
But this, Katsuki didn’t want this to stop, because this meant that he finally had his best friend back.
They quickly hurried to the hospital. Katsuki scrambled through his room, quickly pulling together a bag of things that he thought Zuku would like. He debated putting in Zuku’s notebook, but a part of him thought it would be better to keep it safe at home. It absolutely wasn’t that seeing his friends handwriting on the page was a comfort to him. Not at all. The drive to the hospital was long. Normally Katsuki wouldn’t complain when on long car journeys. There was no point. His whining wouldn’t make the car go faster. All it would do was make the drive miserable as Mom would start yelling, meaning Katsuki had to yell back, and Dad would sit in awkward silence as the only one of his parents who wasn’t a homicidal maniac when behind the wheel of a car.
Now though, it was much harder to sit still.
“Is Zuku alright?” Katsuki asked after the first hour of driving.
One hour to go. Mom and Dad shared a glance.
“The doctors said that he hasn’t woken up yet. He was very tired when they found him so he’s still resting,” she said.
“But he’s alright?”
“I don’t really know Katsuki,” Mom said with a sigh, “the doctor didn’t go into details, and I don’t know about you but I would much rather be told in person than over the phone.”
Katsuki didn’t comment on how her phone was still clutched in her hand, or how she kept checking it every few minutes. Katsuki nodded, agreeing with her. He always hated when the other kids at school would ask others to send messages to people. Why couldn’t they just suck it up and ask the stupid question themselves? If they didn’t have the guts to do it, then they were just pathetic.
Zuku would ask questions. If it was about quirks, he’d ask a million questions with a huge smile on his face. If it wasn’t about quirks then he wouldn’t be smiling. He would be small and quiet, but he’d still ask. Zuku wasn’t a scaredy cat who’d back down from a challenge. He could be even more stubborn than Katsuki when he wanted to. Why no one else at school saw these things about him will forever confuse him?
He must have dozed off, because the next thing Katsuki knew they were pulling to a stop in a big parking lot. The hospital was a large building, looming over them. Somewhere in there was Zuku, Katsuki thought. The family of three hurried through the front doors, nearly tripping over their feet as they changed into slippers. Mom was at the reception desk in a flash, already asking questions.
“We’re here to see Izuku Midoriya. Where is he?”
The lady behind the desk froze in the gaze of the blonde woman in front of her. She glanced over at Katsuki and Dad before looking back at Mom.
“Can I get your name and ID please?” she said, typing into the computer.
“Mitsuki Bakugo. I was called by Dr Hasegawa and told to come here,” Mom said, handing across her ID.
Mom was drumming her fingers on the desk. The action served to amp up Katsuki’s nerves. He felt sweat form on his palms. He wanted to wipe them on his shorts, but he didn’t want to spread the nitroglycerine. That had been a fun laundry day. Luckily, Dad spotted it, handing Katsuki his special towel and laying his hand on top of Mom’s to stop her tapping.
“Can you tell me your relation to Midoriya?” the lady asked.
“He’s my best friends son. We’re listed as his emergency contacts,” Mom said.
Katsuki could see her irritation rising. He felt the same. Why wasn’t she letting them see Zuku!
“Ok, if you could just take a seat. The doctor will be with you shortly.”
Mom huffed a thank you as Dad guided Katsuki to the waiting area. Katsuki wanted to storm up to her and demand she tell him where Zuku was. He would have done so, but Dad’s arm was draped over his shoulders. It wasn’t a comforting weight, pulling him into his dad’s nice warmth, absolutely not, so Katsuki would have to settle for glaring at the lady. He’d been told that he had an impressive glare. He guessed now was time to test it out.
Time seemed to drag on and on. Mom was up and pacing back and forth when eventually a man in a white coat entered the room. He was fairly tall, with close cut brown hair. His eyes swept over the waiting area, and when he spotted them he walked over.
“Mitsuki and Masaru Bakugo?”
He and Dad were on their feet in an instant. Together with Mom, they crowded the doctor.
“Yes that’s us.”
“When can we see him doctor?”
“Where’s Zuku!”
The doctor held up a hand, asking for their silence before speaking.
“Please follow me and we can discuss the situation.”
Without another word, they all followed after the doctor. They went up a few floors and wound their way through corridors until they reached a brightly decorated hallway. The walls were painted soft yellows and blues, with bright flowers and fluffy clouds. This must be the children’s area, Katsuki thought. From around a corner walked a man dressed in a black outfit with a long grey scarf.
“He’s asleep?” the doctor asked.
“For now,” the man said, before addressing the Bakugo’s, “I’m glad I could see you again in such good circumstances.”
“As are we. Thank you so much Eraserhead,” Mitsuki said.
“You found him?” Katsuki asked.
Eraserhead shot Katsuki a quick smile which he buried in his scarf.
“I did.”
“Please, we have much to discuss,” the doctor said, showing them into a large room.
It was an office, like Dad had at home. The doctor sat down on one side and Mom, Dad and Katsuki sat on the other. Eraserhead leant against the wall behind the doctor.
“I know we spoke on the phone, but my name is Doctor Hiroshi Hasegawa. I’m the doctor in charge of Izuku Midoriya’s treatment.”
He held up a hand when Mom opened her mouth to speak.
“You have a lot of questions and I am sure you’re desperate to see him. I understand, but there are some things we must discuss with you so you’re prepared,” Hasegawa said.
“How is he?” Katsuki asked, his voice quiet.
Hasegawa froze, taking a deep breath. When he spoke, he addressed Mom and Dad but Katsuki could tell the answer was for him.
“We think that he will make a complete physical recovery. There were signs of injuries that hadn’t healed properly, which we've treated, but nothing looked recent. When he was brought in he was malnourished and dehydrated. We’ve had him on an IV to alleviate that. Now that he’s starting to wake up, we can get him back onto solids.”
“He’s waking up?” Dad said.
“You said physical, does that mean there’s something else wrong?”
“Mr and Mrs Bakugo, I’m sure you’ll understand that Izuku has went through something that even grown adults would struggle with. We haven’t had him assessed by a psychologist yet but we know that there is trauma. He woke up for the first time not too long ago and panicked. We handled the situation but it brought up something else that we need to discuss with you.”
“What is it?” Dad asked.
“Izuku is showing signs of something called suppression syndrome. It’s a condition which can develop when someone has their quirk suppressed for a significant period of time.”
“They suppressed his quirk?” Mom said, covering her mouth with her hand.
Hasegawa nodded.
“For adults, suppression syndrome isn’t so bad as they've had their younger years to build the knowledge of how to control their quirks. They just need to get back into applying it. For children on the other hand, suppression syndrome can be much more dangerous, as they haven’t had the same experience with control. They don’t have the same mental or physical tools that an adult has.”
“From what we can tell, Izuku has had his quirk suppressed for the last three years. When he woke up earlier, his quirk became active without his conscious awareness. He only became aware of it when Eraserhead erased it, which only caused him to panic further. We were able to handle the situation, but his quirk combined with his trauma raises complications for his treatment.”
“What do we need to do?” Mom asked.
Before the doctor could say anything else, a deep rumble passed through the room. Everything shook slightly like an earthquake. From outside, they heard a cry echoing down the corridor, followed by another shake. In an instant, Eraserhead was tearing across the room and out the door, followed closely Hasegawa. Mom and Dad only shared a quick look before they stood and went after them. Katsuki had a feeling he knew what was going on. He’d felt this kind of shaking before. Zuku had been so excited when a new All Might cartoon was announced. The whole room had shook and it was only when the toys all fell off his shelves that Zuku noticed and made it stop.
This shaking was Zuku. Zuku was awake.
Izuku woke slowly, squinting and blinking against the strong lights from the room. The nurse must have turned the brightness up, because he didn’t remember them being so bright before. He was still tucked under the blanket though, and the room was still the same one he woke up in earlier. Pale yellow walls. Smooth, glossy floor that wasn’t harsh concrete and metal. Izuku pushed himself up so he was sitting just as the door opened. A man in a lab coat entered, hunched over a clipboard as he called out a quiet greeting.
“Everything seems to be going well, all things considered. How do you feel?”
“Fuzzy,” Izuku answered.
He frowned. He answered the question, but why didn’t that feel right? The doctor hummed over his response.
“I suppose that is to be expected. We've put you through the ringer, haven’t we?”
Izuku froze. Icy coldness seeped through his bones and his heart started racing. He was scared, he knew that, but it was like all the scared feelings had bunched up and were dropped on him at once. Why hadn’t he freaked out when the man entered the room, or when he’d so casually asked a question?
He locked his eyes onto the doctor, who was still hunched over the clipboard. He was too short. His hair was wiry and grey. He looked up and Izuku saw a grin that was seared into his nightmares.
“I think we’re ready for phase two,” Dr Tsubasa said.
An unseen force threw Izuku flat against the bed. He struggled but his hands and feet wouldn’t budge, held tightly by something under the blankets. Dr Tsubasa chuckled, throwing the fabric off him, revealing thick leather cuffs tying him to the bed. Everything melted away. The warm colours of the walls became the dank grey of Dr Tsubasa’s lab. The soft bed became the hard operating table. Dr Tsubasa shuffled to his side, holding a long syringe in one hand and scalpel in the other. The light from above suddenly became dark as a shape leaned over him. Izuku screamed as Sensei peered down at him.
“This is your life now little one. Remember that.”
Everything went dull all at once. The sound of Sensei’s light chuckle and Dr Tsubasa beginning his work all faded to the background as an empty feeling washed over him. It felt like when his quirk was taken away by that man, the one with the scarf. He said he was a hero, so why wasn’t he here? He had saved him so why did they send him back?
Unless they didn’t send him back.
Unless this was…
Izuku’s eyes flew open, a loud cry leaving his mouth as he shot up. He scrambled backwards, getting tangled in blankets. He nearly fell out of the bed again but managed to catch himself. As his breaths came quickly and his heart hammered, he saw the hero standing at the foot of his bed. His hair dropped and the empty feeling went away.
“Izuku, you’re safe. Deep breaths, alright?” the man said, making his breaths big and obvious.
Izuku didn’t even realise he was following along until he caught sight of the nurse from before and … the doctor. Izuku winced, shuffled even further back. It didn’t matter how much he told himself that this wasn’t Dr Tsubasa, he couldn’t help but bury his face in his knees. When the nurse asked if he would look up, he shook his head. He even said no to the hero. He didn’t want to look up and see them turn into Dr Tsubasa and Sensei. He didn’t want everything to go back to that.
“Izuku?”
Izuku froze. That was… That couldn’t be Auntie Mitsuki. This had to be some horrible trick. Shigaraki taunted him all the time so why wouldn’t these people be any different.
“Izuku?”
He shook his head again. There was no way that was Uncle Masaru. He wanted it to be so much, but it was impossible. Even if he’d been saved, and was supposedly safe now, Izuku could never be that lucky.
“Zuku?”
That voice was quieter and more shaky than he remembered, but it was obvious who it was.
Izuku slowly peaked his head up. Standing at the end of the bed were the three people that Izuku had only seen in his dreams. Uncle Masaru had his arm around Auntie’s shoulders. Auntie Mitsuki seemed to be shaking. Both of them had a hand on one of their child’s shoulders. Kacchan stood just in front of them. He’d changed but somehow it was like everything was still the same. This was still the same family that he’d super special curry with, the same family that hadn’t hesitated to love him. The family that he would have given anything to be with.
Were their eyes always so red?
The standstill was broken when Mitsuki stepped forward, nearly striding around the bed. Izuku knew that her arms were only lifting to hug him, to reach out and hold him and make him feel safe. He knew that, but it didn’t stop him from seeing Sensei, see him reaching out with a glowing hand promising pain. Izuku flinched away from it with a small yelp, curling in tightly. Mitsuki froze, not coming closer.
“It’s… It’s ok, Izuku. You’re safe now,” Mitsuki said.
Why did Auntie sound so unsure?
Izuku wanted to apologise, but the words wouldn’t come. Nothing would.
“We’re so happy to see you,” Masaru said.
Uncle was always the calm one, why did he sound upset?
The sound of ruffling fabric and hushed admonishments caught Izuku’s attention. He lifted his head when he felt the bedsheets being pulled and saw Kacchan slowly climbing up onto the bed. He crossed his legs and sat facing Izuku. The other adults in the room said nothing. Nobody moved or made a sound. From the corner of his eye, he could see Mitsuki caught between wanting to tell Kacchan off and not wanting to scare him any more than he already was.
Kacchan didn’t say anything either. He just looked at Izuku. It was like he was drinking in every detail, making sure that it really was Izuku in front of him. Izuku did the same thing back. Kacchan was taller than before. His baby weight had given way to a lean body which spoke of activity and exercise. Kacchan always said he’d be the best hero ever. Seems like he was well on the way to doing that.
Kacchan reached into a bag he’d sat beside him. After rummaging around, he looked back at him. Slowly, Kacchan reached out. He didn’t try and touch Izuku, his hands going to the bed between them. Izuku followed the motion of his hands and couldn’t help the small gasp when he saw what Kacchan was holding.
Placed gently in the space between them were three glow in the dark stars.
He knew those stars. They were on his bedroom ceiling, back before everything went wrong. He’d bring them down and listen to them when he was feeling sad. Kacchan made no move to come closer. He sat back up straight, just watching Izuku.
“I thought you’d like to hear them again,” Kacchan said in a small voice.
Izuku didn’t move. His entire focus was on the pieces of plastic in front of him, because Kacchan was right, he would like to hear them again. He’d missed their sound, their warmth and light. It had been so lonely, but now they were here. Izuku didn’t have the cuff on. The hero wasn’t using his quirk, so what was stopping him? He wanted it so badly!
The feeling at the edges of his senses inched closer, drip by drip, as he focused. The stars twitched on the bed sheet, before slowly, they rose up. They hung in the air between him and Kacchan like they were part of the nights sky. He could see the others in the room twitching nervously but they made no move to stop him. The feeling came bit closer, and the stars bloomed. Their pointed shape morphed into spheres of light.
Then, they moved. Izuku was as shocked as everyone else when they floated over to hang around him. Energy shimmered across the surface of the spheres, pooling at the bottom. Almost like it was water, the energy streamed, hanging below the stars like a glowing string.
Maybe it was that Izuku needed comfort but didn't know how to ask for it. Maybe he was remembering the soothing hugs from his mother, the way his father held him against his chest and made him feel warm and safe, even the way Ms Kai held him and rocked him through his tears. It didn’t matter as Izuku watched one string snake its way around his waist, another wrapping loosely around the scarred wrist of his right arm and the last draping itself over his shoulders. It was so warm, so right, that the tears spilled out his eyes in a torrent.
“A-A-Auntie. U-Uncle. K-Ka-Kacchan!”
The blonde boy needed no further encouragement. He shuffled across the bed and pulled Izuku into his arms, holding him close. This spurred his parents. Mitsuki held him on his right and Masaru on his left. Mitsuki rubbed soothing circles into his back, Masaru ran a gentle hand through his hair and Kacchan let him bury his face in his face in his shoulder.
Izuku didn’t realise how much he’d been holding it back, but with this last push from the only people he had left, the feeling surged forward, pushing past whatever barrier he’d unknowingly imposed, and all of a sudden Izuku could hear it.
Music filled his ears. The twisting and shifting harmonies that he’d carried with him since he first got his quirk was all around him. It made him cry harder but he didn’t care. He could hear it! Judging by the slight flash from the floating stars and the noises from everyone else, they could hear it too. The Bakugo’s didn’t let go. They just held him closer, revelling in the moment, embracing side by side with the stars.
“We’ve got you Zuku,” Kacchan whispered in his ear.
Izuku believed him.
Long ago, Izuku went to sleep on the worst night of his life, surrounded by his loved ones. Now he’d woken up, those same loved ones still surrounding him. He’d been through hell, but now? Was this the other side?
Was this what safe feels like?