Chapter Text
Luke realized his mistake as Julie held out the last note of the song, they weren’t supposed to be there. He quickly shoved the guys back out the door where Flynn was approaching them grinning.
“Is that what I think it is?” She asked giddily.
The boys all nodded.
Flynn squealed and pushed past them on her way into the studio.
“So Flynn gets to hug her and I don’t? Where’s the logic in that?” Alex complained, throwing his hands in the air.
“Alex, you know Flynn’s better at handling this type of thing.” Luke reminded him.
Reggie shook his head, “Or maybe you had us leave because crying freaks you out.”
As if on cue, Flynn shrieked from inside the studio making all three of the boys wince.
“The only thing worse than one girl crying is two girls crying!” Luke gestured to the studio to prove his point.
As much as he wanted to be the first one to congratulate Julie on singing again, Flynn deserved to share the moment with Julie more than he did. He figured that the girls probably wanted some space so he nudged the boys into beginning the walk to school. Alex and Reggie began adamantly discussing the upcoming release of the second season Mandalorian.
“I’m telling you, that girl from the desert clip in the trailer has to be Ahsoka!”
Alex scrunched his nose, “Who are you talking about?”
“Dude, c’mon, we’ve been telling you to watch the Clone Wars.”
Luke closed his eyes in disbelief and laughed.
Wrong answer, but god, he loved his boys.
None of them had particularly---what was the right word for it---conventional home lives, now at least.
When he was younger, before he got into music really, things had been fine between Luke and his parents. He had done as most sons did, followed in his dad’s footsteps and began playing lacrosse at the ripe age of six. The sport had been the foundation for most of their relationship so when he traded his stick for a guitar, they became rather estranged.
Andrew and Alyssa Stewart were nice enough, they had supplied Reggie and Alice, his older sister of four years, with anything they could possibly need for orchestrating success. They had met in law school while studying environmental and civil rights law respectfully and opened their own practice---which was the fancy way of saying they were loaded, but what they had financially, the Stewarts lacked emotionally. By fourth grade, even the group had noticed that Reggie’s parents had long fallen out of love with another. It was a difficult point of conversation for their bassist so when Reggie cracked a joke about his mom missing one of their performances or offhandedly mentioned that his dad had skipped dinner again, none of them pushed.
Why two intellectually gifted people could eloquently work out everything else besides their own shortcomings, Luke didn’t know.
Alex’s parents were on the group’s taboo list, which said something because the list was only reserved for things that were so disastrous, they couldn’t be brought up without igniting furious debate.
Ever since their genesis in first grade, the list had been restructured time and time again, but group had only permanently sworn off three things: mayonnaise in sixth grade after a nasty trip to Subway had left them all with food poisoning; Episode 8 of Star Wars in freshman year, for obvious reasons, and anything that directly concerned the Ellwoods. Luke had proposed that last year after Alex had shown up at his house in the middle of the night, duffle bag in hand, after he caught word of his parents intentions to send him to a conversion camp the following summer.
For context, at the time, it had only been two weeks since Alex had come out to his parents.
So in short, Luke thought conventionality could go fuck itself. Anything he could possibly need in life he could get from his boys or Julie and Flynn.
And right now, there were more important things to think about than deadbeat family members, the principle one being how to get Julie back into the music program.
“So, what’s your plan?
That was a good question.
Her original plan had one step: sing.
She hadn’t given much thought to anything beyond that, but with step one now accomplished, she was at a loss. The music program at school was selective and required every member to reaudition before each academic year began. Julie had skipped out on her first audition and had choked on her makeup, she wasn’t sure how she was going to go about getting back in, but it had to be great.
“I don’t know, Flynn. Maybe all I have to do is ask, my spot could still be open.” Luke would cringe at the naivety of her response. Her spot had to have been filled, why keep it open for someone who hadn’t sung in months before today?
Thankfully, Flynn was much more of an optimist than Luke was so she agreed.
By the time they got to school, Julie’s stomach felt like it had been twisted into a convoluted mess. She was glad that she had decided to pass on breakfast, throwing up in front of the only person that could get her back into the music program wouldn’t have bode well for her.
Though most of her optimism had died when her mom did, Julie willed herself to think happy and focus on the good things. Her sweater had a faded smiley-face on it and there was a good chance she was one conversation away from getting her spot in the music program back.
Think happy.
“I gotta get to class, but you got this, Jules. Text me after!” Flynn said and pulled her into a final hug.
She did, she had this.
“Mr. Patterson!”
Luke jerked up with a grunt and tiredly hummed in response. There goes any chance he had of getting his usual first period nap.
“Question two, please.” The teacher, what's his name, gestured to the board where a list of questions were written.
He squinted at the board and quietly read the second question under his breath.
Explain the extent to which the Supreme Court’s interpretation of the First and Second Amendments reflects a commitment to individual liberty.
God, it was way too early for this.
Reggie and Alex had brought along their summer homework for the AP Government course on tour. They were both very type A thinkers so they had talked through most of the short essay questions before committing their responses to paper. Luke had gotten tired of feeling left out the late night conversations, even if they had been about school, and had researched some of the content’s main points.
“The interpretation and application of the First Amendment’s establishment and free exercise clauses reflect an ongoing debate over balancing majoritarian religious practice and free exercise,” he said simply.
There had been some interesting docuseries he had come across too and the whole surprising teachers with somewhat articulate answers never got old.
What's his face tried to hide his shock, but continued with the lecture nonetheless, “These themes can be seen in cases Engel v. Vitale (1962) and Wisconsin v. Yoder (1972).”
He readjusted his jacket on his desk before snuggling back into the makeshift pillow and closing his eyes once more.
Luke was awoken some time later by the bell. He quickly gathered his stuff in hopes of slipping past the teacher. A foot---that was all he had out the door before he was called back in. With a sigh, he obliged.
“What are you thinking for college, Mr. Patterson?”
He shrugged, “I haven’t been.”
“I have some pull at Berkeley and UCLA, you know, both are ranked among the top music programs in the country.”
“That’s cool. C-Can I go now?”
“Luke,” great he was getting all existential now, “I am aware of the success you’ve experienced with your band, Sunset Swerve---
“---Sunset Curve.” Luke corrected.
What’s his face disregarded the correction and continued. “I took the liberty of reviewing your test scores and you’re in contention for admission to some very prestigious universities as well as several scholarship opportunities.”
Man this guy couldn’t take a hint.
“Thanks, uh, that was nice of you, but I should get to second hour.”
“Mr. Patterson, try as you might to hide it, it would be a shame to waste your potential on some adolescent whim in hopes of making it big.”
“Did my mom put you up to this?”
“No, believe it or not, I care---”
“How about you do us both a favor and not finish that sentence? Look, I get that you don’t agree with what I’m doing, most people don’t, but don’t pull that ‘you care about my future’ bullshit because that ends with anything that goes beyond what it means to be conventionally successful.”
“You’re very bright, Luke---”
“You’re right, I am, which means I can tell when someone’s altruism is authentic or a means to an end to make themselves feel better and I think we both know what this intervention falls under.”
Luke turned on his heel and started towards the music room. Physics was about as therapeutic as the sound of nails on a chalkboard; he had to work through his anger somehow. It was either skipping or he was confident he would throw one of those sonic ranger things against the wall.
His finger began thrumming a beat against his thigh, a key indicator a song was coming on.
And while what’s his face was a major jerk, the whole bright concept was particularly enticing.
Julie usually saved the insubordination for Luke and Flynn, but as she stormed out of first hour, her fingers couldn’t type out her rant to Flynn fast enough.
All she needed was a chance to show them that she got her music back! She knew could beat out any contender to get her spot back, she was sure of it, but that didn’t matter if her teacher refused to give her the opportunity to do so.
But no, it went against the program’s integrity or some other rule that was entirely stupid.
Walking past the music room, she caught a glimpse of a brunette hunched over at the piano. She would know that mousey brown hair and threw open the door. “Thank god, I need your help---hey, what’s up?”
There was something inherently wrong with his demeanor, he was way too still, especially if he was in the middle of writing a song. Normally, some part of him always had to be moving.
He must have been in deep concentration because he didn’t budge until Julie sat next to him on the bench. Luke jumped when she nudged his shoulder. “Julie, hey, sorry I didn’t see you come in.”
Julie peeked over his shoulder and caught the title of the song he was working on. “Whatcha working on?”
“Oh, it’s, uh, actually for you.” He handed his journal over so she could read over the lyrics, “It was originally something I started working on for the band, but after hearing you sing this morning, I tweaked it a bit.”
She skimmed the lyrics quickly,
Sometimes I think I'm falling down
I wanna cry, I'm calling out
For one more try to feel alive
What was this verse about?
Julie glanced up carefully; Luke was mindlessly running his fingers over the keys while he waited. The rest of the song was pretty upbeat, similar to the tempo of the stuff Luke normally wrote, still his writing style very rarely took on this almost jaded tone.
Before she could ask, Luke took the notebook back, “Here check out the chorus, if you add a little bit of piano, I’m telling you it’s going to be great.”
As he listened to him run through it, Julie made the mental note to ask him about it later.
He flipped the page over and gestured for her to join him on a higher note. She did and marveled at the way their voices seamlessly blended together---they always did. Luke’s teeth latched on to his bottom lip as he grinned back at her, Julie found her lips forming a smile of their own, though hers was a tad more sheepish than Luke’s.
How could it not be when everything about Luke radiated intensity?
He already had the unwavering passion that all musicians needed, a brazen sense of self assurance---most of all, he was a fierce friend---but when he looked at her like this, Julie felt what was probably what was a fraction of the confidence he had everyday. She felt like she could do anything.
“Thanks.” She said, hoping that he would respond because she was genuinely scared that her entire face would turn red if he didn’t stop looking at her like that.
Of course all he did was nod and his grin only grew.
Julie looked down, she had to or else he would see what a blushing mess she was.
Damn it.
Again, if Luke was more perceptive, he would notice that Julie only got like this with him, but he was insanely stubborn and refused to listen to Alex’s jeers about anything related to Julie.
He loved Julie; she was his best friend, but as selfish as it was, he loved music more.
And right now, there were too many confounding variables.
With his estranged relationship with his parents, what’s his face riding him at school, and the chance at a record deal---he was barely holding it together---plus the panic attacks came almost weekly now.
Alex and Reggie didn’t even know about that. Ray was the only person who did.
Julie deserved someone that was better than him, someone who was brave enough to risk all for that for her, and Luke just wasn’t there yet.
“So, uh, when’s your first performance back?” He asked.
“Next semester, I asked and they said I have to wait until then to reaudition.”
He scoffed, “That was your first mistake, asking. Sunset Curve booked gigs by doing! We played in front of clubs, in the back of clubs, we even---”
“---played book clubs,” Julie finished chuckling, “I know, I was there.”
“Then you remember how we went into ambush mode, which is exactly what you have to do!”
“It’s not a club, it’s school and that sounds violent.”
“What I’m saying is, don’t ask for permission. It’s a closed door and you got to bust it open with your wrecking ball of talent.” Julie didn’t see how insanely talented she was---what was up with that?
He waited as she mulled it over for a few minutes.
“Well, the pep fest is after school today.”
Now they were rolling, he could work with this. Pulling out his phone, he texted Alex and Reggie.
911! Meet in the music room ASAP!
First things first, he had to get rid of Julie. “Hey, isn’t there a lab today in Physics?”
“Shoot, you’re right!” Julie exclaimed. She was up and out the door before she realized he hadn’t followed. She grabbed the doorframe and swung herself back into the room. “Would the reason you’re skipping out on physics have anything to do with Alex and Reggie running down the hall?”
“Pfft, please, Molina, not everything’s about you.” Luke teased and shooed her away.
He heard Reggie greet her in the hall and then a yelp, and then Alex came into the room, pulling Reggie in by his ear. “---I don’t care that you wanted to talk to Julie, Reg, Luke texted 911 and there was a reason she wasn’t included in that!”
“Luke, tell Alex he’s being mean!” Reggie said.
“I would, but he’s right.”
Alex then took the liberty of elbowing Reggie in the side. “I told you so.”
“If you two are done, we have work to do.” Luke handed his notebook to Alex.
“Yeah, this looks great. I can definitely get the rhythm down in a day or two.” He said confidently.
It was then Reggie’s and he agreed, saying that he had an idea for a really good riff for the bridge.
“Well, boys, that’s awesome. There’s just one little contingency.”
“Oh yeah, what’s up?”
“We have hours not days.”
“H-Hours?” Alex spluttered.
“Yup, six,” Luke confirmed.
The blonde put a hand to his chest and began taking deep, balanced breaths; the pacing came next. Reggie had taken a seat on the couch and hugging a pillow was his coping mechanism.
“Guys, c’mon, it’s for Julie! She needs our help getting back into the music program.”
Alex and Reggie both froze immediately, “Oh, okay. Where are we starting?”
Alex pulled his drumsticks from the inside pocket of his jacket and calmly walked over to the drumset. He began toying with tuning the snare. Reggie snagged the one of the basses that were hung on the wall and went about making sure it was in the proper pitch.
Luke bit the inside of his cheek and begrudgingly grabbed a guitar of his own.
“Don’t act so surprised, Luke, ask anyone---we like Julie more.” Alex said from behind him.
“Just follow my lead, okay?”
The other two boys laughed, proud for getting under his skin, but followed and caught on to the beat Luke set.
Julie thought that with the pep fest after school, that the rest of her classes would fly by, but the opposite had proven to be true. She had gone as far as shutting her phone off and putting it in her backpack so that she wouldn’t check the time every other minute; sitting away from the clock in her classes so she wouldn’t be tempted by that either.
But no, life continued the trend of doing exactly what she didn’t want it to do.
Currently, she was taking a page out of Alex’s books and pacing the length of the music room. She had texted Luke thirteen times in the last hour and all she had gotten in response was, ‘Had to take care of something. You got this! You’re a wrecking ball! :)'
Screw him. Luke never used emojis unless he was trying to prove a point.
She had skipped her last class with Flynn to rehearse the song, but she felt like it was missing something and if this was the performance she was betting her readmittance on, it needed to be perfect.
When the girls walked into the gym, Carrie’s group, Dirty Candy, was in the middle of their number, which was good because she still wasn’t sure if she was going to go through with the plan.
For once, she was disappointed when the song was done. Flynn gave her a not so subtle shove towards the stage. “You got this!”
Carrie thanked the crowd and segwayed into inviting them outside for the tailgate before the football game.
Ambush mode, Julie, ambush mode.
She took a deep breath and then made her way up the stairs to the stage; the keyboard would have to do. Okay, the keyboard was on and in the right key so now the only left to do now was play.
Easy.
Crap, they were giving her weird looks and leaving. Julie couldn’t blame them, she probably looked really stupid right now---no! Ambush mode! Ambush mode!
Sometimes I think I'm falling down
I wanna cry, I'm calling out
For one more try to feel alive
And when I feel lost and alone
I know that I can make it home
Fight through the dark and find the spark
The teachers were looking like they wanted to leave too, this was not going the way it was supposed to. Still, Julie pushed herself into the next verse,
Life is a risk, but I will take it
Close my eyes and jump
Together, I think that we can make it
C'mon let's run
Go high, Luke’s voice whispered in her head. Julie closed her eyes and held out the note.
And rise through the night, you and I
We will fight to shine together, bright forever
And rise through the night, you and I
We will fight to shine together, bright forever
A crash sounded and shocked whispers erupted. Did something fall behind her?
She opened her eyes to see the back stage light flipping on, revealing Alex on the drums, Reggie with his bass, and Luke throwing his guitar back on its strap so it swung around his back before returning to his hands.
Her heart swelled as she fully comprehended what was going on, her boys came back. For her, to play with her.
Julie grabbed the mic out of its stand by the keyboard and rushed to join the guys at center stage. “Is this really happening?” She whispered to Luke.
Just go with it, he said, and then carried them into the third verse with a solo,
In times that I doubted myself
I felt like I needed somе help
Stuck in my head with nothing left
Julie turned around and jammed with Alex while Reggie continued playing but went and joined Luke at his microphone.
I feel somеthing around me now
So unclear, lifting me out
I found the ground I'm marching on
All four of them joined in on the chorus. The crowd was moving along to the song, bobbing their heads to the downbeat.
And rise through the night, you and I
We will fight to shine together, bright forever
And rise through the night, you and I
We will fight to shine together, bright forever
The song continued and the tempo shifted back to Luke. He caught her eye from across the stage as he began to sing,
In times that I doubted myself
I felt like I needed some help
Stuck in my head with nothing left
Julie felt a tug in her chest, pulling her towards Luke, like a puppet on a string, she gave in almost immediately and crossed the stage. (She would later connect the whole string sensation to the red string of fate, a recurring omen in Chinese Mythology) She held out her own mic to him; he accepted her gesture instantly, leaning in, so close that their foreheads were almost touching despite the microphone still being between them.
In times that I doubted myself
I felt like I needed some help
Stuck in my head with nothing left
He bit down on his lip and nodded for her to take the rest of the verse. Julie pivoted on her heel so that her back was to him and bent forward, engaging with the group of students that had congregated in front of center stage. Luke followed her lead and sped up his playing, edging her into the second half of the verse,
And when I feel lost and alone
I know that I can make it home
Fight through the dark and find the spark
She finally understood the guys, why they did anything they could to play together, regardless of the gig. Reggie and Alex echoed her and Luke in the outro and pushed them through the final part of the song,
And rise through the night, you and I
We will fight to shine together bright forever
And rise through the night you and I
We will fight to shine together bright forever
Connecting with the crowd like this? Seeing the pure elation on their faces and knowing that she was the reason for it? Julie could only describe the feeling that was coursing through her body as euphoria.
Even as the students began to file out for the tailgate, Julie still felt as if she was on Cloud Nine.
“Ms. Harrison! I’m so sorry for not asking for permission, but I just wanted to show that I belong here.”
Her teacher walked over with a smile, “As amazing as that was, your spot has already been filled by another student.”
Julie followed her gesture over towards a scrawny freshman who was struggling to lug his cello down the stage’s steps. “C’mon! That thing is way too big for him!”
Ms. Harrison sighed, “He’ll grow into it. I wish I could help you, but my hands are tied.”
Julie cast her gaze down to the floor, but in doing so, she caught the principal walking over---she quickly fixed her posture.
“Mine aren’t, and while I didn’t approve of this little stunt, I will not go down in history as the principal who kicked Julie Molina out of the music program.”
Julie squealed and thanked her and Ms. Harrison.
Flynn was waiting for her by the stage and Julie skipped over to her giddily.
“You were great.”
“Thanks to you! There’s no way I could have pulled that off if you didn’t help me practice.” Julie said, reaching for her friend’s hand, but Flynn pulled her hand back, “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Jules, I’m stoked that you performed again and got back into the music program, but why didn’t you tell me you were going on with the guys?”
“If I had known I was going to, I would have. I thought the guys wouldn’t be able to make it. I was just as surprised as you when they came on stage.”
“But it was Luke’s song?”
Julie nodded, she didn’t see the problem with that. Artists performed covers of other musicians’ songs all the time, but Luke performed with her so the performance had been a hundred percent authentic.
“Luke was behind this whole thing?” Flynn sighed, “Look, I love Luke and the guys, but I’ll be honest---I loved the time we got together this summer while they were on tour. We actually got time to be Double Trouble, something that we hadn’t been able to do in god knows how long.I can’t help but feel like I’m holding Luke’s spot and you only come to me with this sort of thing when he’s not around. I know I can’t write and compose the way you and Luke can, but honestly, Jules? I thought we were closer than that.”
“Flynn, c’mon, we are. You know that.”
“Are we? Do I?”
Flynn turned and left before Julie was able to get another word in.
At this point, the universe could really screw off.