Chapter Text
The hand reaching for the door handle froze in place and slowly retracted from its (seemingly) original intent. But other than that, the figure in front of the door remained still, not granting Henry an honor of actually facing him. A tense silence filled the living room, only punctuated by the buzzing ceiling light.
„Will, please! Just…wait” Henry got up, his legs actively working against him, making him almost trip over one of the many cardboard boxes scattered on the floor. William didn’t move an inch.
„I’m-so-shit!” His feet hit against the leg of the coffee table, but despite the pain he tried to stand tall „I’m sorry! I don’t what got into me, I shouldn’t get angry with you, It’s not your fault, I should be thankful you’re even here! It’s just…"
But the person in his doorframe was still frozen, like some mocking statue of unspoken misery. Another figure on the horizon slowly drifting away from him, like his wife and daughter. Henry felt the weight of the universe on his shoulders, draining him of any strength who could have had left, leaving only the overwhelming emptiness. Without even a single thought to hold onto, Henry dropped to his knees, clutching William’s legs as if the material of those black slacks was the proverbial straw a man like him had to grasp. This expression of almost religious penance was enough to make William flinch in surprise.
„Please don’t leave me” it wasn’t louder than a whisper, a pathetic cry not daring to take more space than a breath „I’m just a drunk idiot, I don’t even know what I’m saying, but I beg you, don’t leave me here. We can work this out, I’ll do anything, I swear, just... don't go away.” His eyes fixated on the dark statue, lit from above only by the faint ceiling light, but almost angelic to his barely functioning imagination.
If William Afton was a foolish man, he would probably smile and extend his hand to this poor excuse of a human being, while saying some quasi-sanguinic nonsense, that could have been interpreted as something vaguely romantic. But, of course, he was more than aware of how much further he could push this absurd scenario to its full pathos and theatrical possibility. Right now he was an omnipotent figure, a magician tricking a little boy into believing that rabbits can materialize inside of a top hat or that saying words of love actually means something in this aimless world. A poet, forming his ideal lover from the cloth taken from the stars and the gods and the constellations decorating the purple sky of his creation. With that beautifully thespian perspective in mind, he waited until Henry closed his tear-stained eyes, and carefully lowered himself to his level, taking the trembling’s man chin into his hand, a gesture so unnecessary, yet so effective. He then again waited for the other man to hold his breath in order to know that he had his undivided attention.
„Henry…” he said, rubbing his thumb over Henry’s cheek, who leaned slightly into the touch. „It’s not your fault. But I am relieved you didn’t actually mean those awful things. It seems like there’s another side of you, that you are not yet sure of. We will work through this, I promise you, my dear.”
The last word sent a small electric current through Henry’s veins. How could have something felt so wrong but so right at the same time?
„William, can I ask you something?”
„What is it?”
„Remember when we were in our business class, and one of those jerks passed around some note, something among the lines „Blanchett and Merriwick are…you know what”, and I said „What a shame if it were true” and „I hope they won’t target us next time, time to find someone else to talk to haha” I laughed very awkwardly, I don’t even know why I laughed, anyway, and then you just took the note and tore it to pieces without saying a word.”
Wait…what is he even talking about?
„I always wondered, did you do that because you wanted to spare them the humiliation? Or were you afraid that someone would do the same to you? Did you know them well? I’m not saying that all ehm, Dorothy's friends, is that the term? Should know each other, but I just, thought that maybe, you actually knew I had…those kinds of feelings for you. Oh, God almighty, did I really say it? My father would kill me for that!”
William wasn’t sure whether there was any rhyme or reason to this incoherent speech, but at least it seemed to had pulled Henry out of the abyss. As long as he could feel his physical presence and feel his shaky breath he knew he had succeeded with his performance. Henry, meanwhile, closed his eyes once again and leaned a little bit forward, so that their foreheads were touching with a bittersweet relief overtaking his face.
„You know they might kill us, right?”
„Who are you talking about?”
„The parents…After all those, well, kidnappings, if they found out that we are both, you know, we wouldn’t get out of this town alive. I’m not saying I think that well, you know what, screw this self-censorship! We know it’s not that we like children in that horrible way, but what does it change? Nobody would listen!” Henry was suddenly shouting „I mean, I don’t know all gay people in the world, but at least I never had those kinds of thoughts! But those parents…they wouldn’t care about this!”
…
William actually hasn’t thought about it.
For some, that would be the moment they would start to second guess their decisions, but fortunately, William excelled both at keeping things a secret from the world and never questioning his own ideas. Those two qualities accounted for about 70% of his successes in life.
„Who said they have to know about anything?” William finally stood up and helped Henry back to the couch. „I think we can keep it a secret. What do you think?”
„I think it will be a good arrangement. But I swear I will shot myself if anyone finds out”
„Don’t say that!” William flinched slightly at the thought of that.
„Come on, I’m just joking.” Henry smiled hazily and put his head on William’s shoulder. ”Please, don’t leave me.”
„As long as you don’t do it first”
Henry raised his head a little bit and looked William deep in the eye.
„On second thought-” his face inched to his partner’s as he put his hands on his shoulders „-promises are pretty fucking useless”
Without giving the other man time to take in those words, Henry pulled him closer with some completely unexpected strength. This time he decided to take the lead, to finally feel in control, not stifled by those judgmental eyes following his every unholy thought. For the first time in his life he just wanted to become the worst possible outcome, the dreaded sinner just so he could finally feel alive. His lips found solace on the other man's mouth, wordlessly singing his manifesto against the world, against the wretched society, and finally against every idiot who ever made fun of him for being a pushover and not talking enough or talking too much, who the hell even cared at this moment of a complete unashamed singularity of the cluster that was his mind. What a shame that in the grand scheme of things none of it was true.
Meanwhile, William, despite being more or less ambivalent towards physical affections, decided that for his own safety he should just let Henry do what he wanted to. Of course, an intellectual like him would never be overtaken by such instinctive urges. So his hands wandered very pragmatically around Henry's chest, and only by a scientific miscalculation started unbuttoning that terribly worn-out flannel shirt. Henry paused, pulling away from the kiss, and looked at the man in front of him questioningly.
"Have you ever, you know... done it?" There was a slight edge of panic in his voice.
"No" Well, at least it wasn't a lie, was it?
"So...do you want to..."
William couldn't help but mentally roll his eyes at such childish wording his partner was using, but he was way too deep at this point to back out completely, so yeah, sure, why the hell not-
----------------------------------------------
It was way too early in the morning. The sun coming through the blinds cast a prison bar-like pattern onto the floor of his living room. Henry somehow managed to acknowledge this detail before even realizing that he was laying in some very unpractical pose on his couch instead of his bed. Another moment and felt a familiar arm embracing him tightly. For some reason he didn't feel surprised at all when he saw William spread on the other side of the couch. Even in his sleep he looked so thoughtful...
Henry gently wiggled out of his position and looked around. They must have been drinking a lot. That explains his terrible headache, but that sometimes happens. There was even a broken beer bottle on the floor. Next to it laid his poor glasses, dirty from oil and dust. He took them in his hand and with slight grief realized that they were actually cracked.
This is the point when we should leave Henry before he realizes why it happened.