Chapter Text
It had been a couple minutes, and the dark had yet to let up.
He counted the seconds as they passed, slow and deafening in the silence of the room. It had been a natural response, tugging Mo into his embrace and holding him close.
It had been minutes, and Mo hadn’t tried to let go. They both stood in the silence, waiting for the other to make a move, to break the clutch they had on one another. He held his breath, willing the moment to never end, to be able to experience the feeling of having Mo in his arms. It wasn’t something forced.
“He Tian…”
He had to swallow, before answering. His voice not more than a whisper.
“Yeah?”
He could feel Guan Shan move his chin against his chest, breath blowing over his shoulder.
“I think you two still have a chance.”
The room was silent once more, except for the rain continuing to patter against the windows. His heart was pounding in his chest, apprehensive at the touch of his affections in his arms.
He let out a breath, “You think so?”
Did they have a chance?
Mo snorted, "Of course, you’re the most stubborn guy I know. If you actually care about your brother, you guys will patch things up.”
He was the stubborn one?
Mo turned his head in the embrace, breath warm against his left shoulder.
“Thank you.”
He was frozen at that moment, mouth moving on autopilot. “You...you don’t have to thank me.”
Mo’s head was warm under his cheek, hair soft from the shower. He Tian felt like he should be the one thanking him.
Thanking him for the short moment they were able to have together. The physical support that he craved on a daily basis but was never able to ask for. This wasn’t something that he’d ever expected, never in the short amount of years that he’s been alive. Guan Shan didn’t have to thank him for anything, he was the one constant that had made him sane for the past couple months.
He’d been unhinged, fake in the face of the people he’d had to deal with in the past year. Mo had made him a different person. He’d made him change, made him want to change, given everything that had happened. He didn’t want to fake the emotions he displayed, he wanted to be able to show what he felt when it truly mattered. It was hard to comprehend the feelings you had when the object of your affections was deep in your embrace.
“Mo...I don’t know if I can thank you. You’ve done more for me than I can explain....”
He felt Mo shift in his arms, his words warm against his chest.
“You don’t need to thank me He Tian. We’ve done things for each other that I don’t want to explain. I’ve been trying so hard to keep things steady, thinking about my dad and trying to support my mother, I don’t want to feel bad about it. I don’t want pity. I don’t want it. Just like I know you don’t want me to pity you either.”
Well he certainly wasn’t wrong.
“So I’m thanking you for the things that you do that I may or may not react harshly to. As much as I act like I’m irritated, it’s been easy. It’s been easy...cause it’s you.”
He had the urge to cry, then. It was hot and strong, stinging the corners of his eyes. He felt flayed open wide, barred for the world to see. The exposure made him want to slink away from Mo’s embrace, even though he may never be able to experience it again. He was placed in a contradiction of wants.
The sound of his appliances booting up and the blinding light unshrouding from the dark made his decision for him. They both gave a small start at the power returning, hands clutching around each other, still pressed chest to chest. A cross of refusal to let go, and the light now illuminating their revealing state was almost too much to take.
He Tian sucked in a breath, heart loud in his ears. Fuck. Fuck. He really didn’t want to let go.
Mo chose his fate instead.
“Stop thinking so much. Idiot.”
The words were enough to lessen the worry, just a little bit. Guan Shan was obviously comfortable, and hadn’t acted to move out of his arms.
“But -
“Just shut up for a little bit, okay?”
It wasn’t something he was used to, being told what to do. His brother and father just went with whatever his actions brought about. They dealt with the consequences without really penalizing him. But he’s known since long ago that his actions weren’t going to rub well with Mo. The kiss he had stolen, the unsavory actions he’d taken a part of in the past couple of weeks were probably more than enough to turn Mo away. But he was still here. He was still here, given everything. It must count for something.
It was everything to him.
He’d do anything he could to change the way Guan Shan probably thought of him.
“You just need to shut up once and awhile, Tian,”
What the fuck.
The sound of his name coming from Mo’s mouth was more than enough to keep his lips shut. More than enough to get the blood pumping in his veins.
“Just shut up and not think about what’s going on, yeah?”
Mo squeezed him tighter as he said so, arms a solid weight grounding him.
He couldn’t help but oblige, squeezing the redhead tighter. It was enough just to have him in his arms for a moment. It would always be enough.
“Yeah...sure.”
He was capable enough at the moment to do so. For, Mo, he would always be capable.
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