Chapter Text
There’s an open door. Anders stares at the clear path between him and the world outside the tower and there’s no one there to tell him not to take it. It’s a difficult thing to process. He turns his head, looking for signs of the trap that this has to be, listening for the sound of any templar approaching. All he hears is the sound of someone talking in another room, close enough to be wary of but far enough away not to be alarming.
Anders takes a few more steps towards the door and looks out cautiously, ready to duck his head back inside should there be anyone out there. But there isn’t. The way is clear and the first breath he takes of that cool fresh air is just like it always is; the sort of relief he feels with his entire body, it’s so intense.
The lake surrounding the tower stretches out in front of him. For a moment, Anders just listens to the sound of water lapping against the shore. It’s the only thing between him and the rest of Ferelden. He swam it before and it occurs to him that this time there’s no one about to see him jump in. It could take them hours to realise he’s gone. He thinks of how far he could get in that time.
He hears the voices in the nearby room and knows he could be caught at any moment. One of them is definitely a templar. If he were to take this chance, he’d have to do it now. And he does feel that familiar pull towards anywhere that isn’t this blighted tower but it’s not the same as it used to be. He feels something he’s never known before pulling him back with an even greater force, making him wonder for perhaps the first time what the point is in having to spend most nights sleeping on hard ground, having to steal or forage for food (or, more often than not, go without altogether) to spend days cold and wet and tired, only to be found and beaten and dragged back to the tower to face whatever punishment awaited him there. It all feels so inevitable.
But for the first time he has something holding him here. He has Karl. And Anders doesn’t ever want to give him up. If he can’t take Karl with him then, again, what’s the point?
He takes another breath and savours the feeling of the cool air against his skin. Then he turns away.
He finds Karl in the apprentice dormitory and it’s quiet enough at this time of day that Anders feels safe tugging him into a corner and kissing him. He can’t help but think that Karl’s lips taste even better than that fresh lakeside air he’d tasted several minutes ago. As do the hands, pulling him close, feel better than the wind. All of it, the warmth of his breath, the familiar, comforting scent of it, and the look in those blue eyes when he pulls back to smile up at him, Anders wants it like he’s wanted nothing else in his life. What chance could the rest of Thedas stand against that?
Karl looks at him curiously. “What are you thinking about?”
Anders presses forward, breathing in the scent of Karl’s skin as he tries to find words for it. He’s thinking of how little he wants to lose this but saying these things out loud still feels dangerous. Giving voice to his fears makes it real in a way he can keep pretending it isn’t if he just kisses Karl instead. He never wants this to end but the truth is, if he could choose, he wouldn’t want it this way.
He says, “If it came to it and we had the chance, would you run with me?”
“In a heartbeat,” says Karl.
“You wouldn’t be afraid?”
Karl thinks about it. “I’m always a little bit afraid. But by now I’m sure you could get me to do anything you wanted me to. You make me feel brave, Anders.”
“Would you do it for me, or for yourself?”
“Both,” he answers without hesitation this time. “You know it’d be both.”
Anders presses a kiss to his temple. “Good.” He kisses Karl’s forehead, then his cheek, then his lips. “One day, then.”
Karl’s fingertips tickle slightly as they press lightly into the soft hair at the back of Anders’ neck. His smile lights his cool eyes with warming tenderness as he agrees, “One day...”