Chapter Text
He wants to scream and he wants to cry. He thinks he’s about to watch the disciple he had raised kill someone he- Liu Qing- someone important .
Liu Qingge may be the War God, head of Bai Zhan peak, and jaw-stopping to watch fight- but Binghe has the protagonist’s halo.
Nothing, not even physics, can beat the thrice damned halo.
He’s going to watch Liu Qingge die , and he’s frozen to the spot, he wants to run - be far away from Binghe for when he inevitably wins. But he can’t leave Liu Qingge, not now, not here, not when the man is doing this for him.
Without his permission he feels his legs (oh god his still attached legs) take a few shaky steps forward. He needs Liu Qingge to stop fighting- he needs him to run. But nothing will make Liu Qingge walk away from a battle.
Unless...
He throws himself in between the two swords and both men suddenly still. He trembles and waits for Xin Mo to run him through.
Shang Qinghua runs up shrieking and whacks something into Luo Binghe’s mouth before dragging Shen Qingqiu by the arm who reaches out for Liu Qingge in turn.
Luo Binghe snarls - and save him, someone, please , let him live until he can get Liu Qingge out of here.
“You useless, insignificant- stupi- Airbruw- wha-” there’s a thud and Luo Binghe is cut off.
Despite the urgency of the situation Shen Qingqiu turns around, desperate to see what’s happened.
The half-heavenly demon is lying prostrate on the ground.
The hell?! System! System! What’s happened?
The system remains infuriatingly silent other than a “\-( ‘+’)-/”. Damn system! No help at all!
“What did you do to him?” Liu Qingge asks Airplane-bro curiously with not as much as fear or anger as Shen Qingqiu would like. Still, he also turns expectantly to Airplane-bro.
Shen Qingqiu tunes out hushed whispers about Airbrush using heavenly might to strike down demons. He at least knows that Airplane is far far from a god.
“Uhhhh, you know the vaccine thing we were working on? So I was like, we should get needles, but like why stop at vaccines you know? Why not antiseptic, and anaesthetic, so I was like hmm, might as well get some supplies and try some things out and-”
Liu Qingge clearly decides Shang Qinghua is not answering quickly enough because he whips out his sword and points it at Luo Binghe’s prone form lest he wake up.
Oh Liu-shidi, so protective. You shouldn’t, you really shouldn’t.
“Bro,” Shen Qingqiu says pointedly.
“Oh right, right, Chloroform bro.” Airplane says sounding, incredibly proud, then a little sadly, “That was my entire supply. It’s also probably enough to kill several horses so we should really run before he wakes up.”
Shen Qingqiu has no arguments there. He grabs Liu Shidi to make sure the other man doesn’t do anything stupid like run away to fight the undefeatable protagonist and they fly back to the peak as fast as their swords can carry them.
Once they return he takes Liu Qingge to Qian Cao Peak- just in case Luo Binghe had managed to hurt him. Liu Qingge scowls a little but concedes when Shen Qingqiu tells him matter of factly that he couldn’t bear the guilt if his Liu-shidi got hurt on his behalf and didn’t get help.
Once obstinate War Gods have been corralled though, Shen Qingqiu has time to talk to hack authors.
“What the hell?” He whisper-shouts wary of prying ears. “You wrote that anesthetics don’t exist in Proud Immortal Demon Way so that you could have multiple chapters of one of the wives giving birth! Painfully , with lots of screaming!” It had been to show her devotion to her husband or something, and probably to tick some boxes from certain readers who wanted a little more pain in their porn.
For once Shen Qingqiu can honestly say that he was not amongst them.
“It doesn’t bro!” Shang Qinghua says with an incredibly self-satisfied smile that Shen Qingqiu doesn’t trust for a minute .
“Then where the fuck did you get chloroform from?” For a moment a terrifying thought that Shang Qinghua might actually be able to control or rewrite this world as a god flies through his head.
He dismisses that thought as violently as it deserves. If Airplane bro is a god then Shen Qingqiu will go running back screaming to Luo Binghe.
“... I made it bro…” Shang Qinghua says after a pause, “I told you I was going to town to pick up some stuff?”
What? When did Airplane bro tell him this?!
“I thought you were doing that for vaccines! Have you been shirking our vaccine plan?! It was your idea in the first place? And how would you even know how to make chloroform!? We’re lucky you gave it to the protag first so you didn’t kill anyone!”
Honestly, okay sure, he’s glad it worked, but it could have gone so badly.
“Bro,” Shang Qinghua says, sounding slightly confused, but also a little amused. “You know I worked in a pharmacy right? Did you think writing Proud Immortal Demon Way was all I did? Nah, that was just to pay college bills. I picked chloroform because it’s easy . Bleach and alcohol bro, bleach and alcohol. The anaesthetics themselves might not exist but the ingredients certainly do.”
Shen Qingqiu stares opened mouth, he’d never really paid too much care to Shang Qinghua’s life before transmigrating because neither of them had ever really talked about their past lives.
But Airplane bro as a pharmacist ?
“When were you planning on telling me that you had chloroform then?!” He asks, brandishing his fan threateningly to try and restore the natural order of things.
“I mean, in my defense bro, I spent yesterday making it. And then I wanted to test it, and then I could have told you but you were spending so much time with a certain Peak Lord-” Shang Qinghua cuts himself off to wink.
Wink ?! What does that wink mean? Airplane Bro!!!!
“Why didn’t you give some to me! Hah! Having my legs ripped out might not be so bad if I was drugged up! The protag is back! And you’ve been-” He’s aware that he’s becoming slightly hysterical but he can't be bothered to be calm and polite and rational over the rising fear in his chest.
Luo Binghe is back - they were meant to have years plural before that happened!
“Cucumber-bro you need to calm down,” Shang Qinghua whispers urgently, eyes darting nervously to the door to the infirmary. “Ix-nay on the egs-lay when there are ears around,”
“Why?” he asks, “Everyone already knows you’re a “god ””- he makes sure to be heavy on the air quotes, “That cat’s out of the bag! Sorry if my freaking out about my poor poor legs is inconvenient for you!” Honestly Airplane-bro, show your fellow transmigrator a little mercy.
“You remember the system screeching right?” Shang Qinghua asks doubtfully, and Shen Qingqiu is suddenly hit with a vivid painful memory.
Oh yeah, look at that. Airplane Bro has actually had a good thought for a change.
He tilts his head in acknowledgement and sighs. “Yeah, sorry bro.” he sighs again, but he should say it. “And thanks for drugging Luo Binghe today, my legs- I owe you one,”
He doesn’t think he’s been particularly friendly, but Shang Qinghua gives a tremulous grin and hugs him anyway. He rolls his eyes and waves Shang Qinghua off.
He’ll go and sort out the development of the protagonist later, Shang Qinghua can get started. Instead he politely knocks on the door of the infirmary before going inside to have a harsh talk with Liu Shidi.
“Are you hurt?” he asks nervously, he’s not sure if he can take the guilt of Liu Qingge being hurt on his account.
It’s only guilt that is making his chest twist in fear. Not worry, he doesn’t need to be worried about Liu Qingge . The man is a sight to behold, his martial prowess is told far and wide. He doesn’t need someone like Shen Qingqiu to worry about him.
“I’m fine,” Liu Qingge returns, “How are your meridians?”
Oh Liu-shidi, worrying about your Shixiong at a time like this, how noble of him. He truly is the best peak lord. Probably because Shang Qinghua hadn’t had the chance to ruin his character because he’d killed him off so early.
And that was something else to complain about later when everything was okay and sorted and safe- because Liu Qingge was by far the best thing about this godforsaken world.
“They’re fine of course,” he says waving absently. In truth he has no idea but he’s sure that Liu-Shidi will drag him off at some point to check on them and then they can have tea if there’s an issue. Right now he has more pressing matters on his mind.
“I need you to promise me something,” he says, not quite daring to look Liu Qingge in the eye. He hopes the Bai Zhan Peak Lord doesn’t think he’s being impertinent.
Liu Qingge hums. “I will do anything I can to try and fulfil your wishes,'' he replies. Oh Liu-shidi, so sweet. But this is serious so he casts fond thoughts out of his mind.
“Leave Luo Binghe alone,” he tells the man steadily, taking great care to ensure his voice doesn’t shake. “ Please , whatever you do, promise me you won’t go near him again. No matter what happens. Please .”
Liu Qingge doesn’t say anything for such a long time that Shen Qingqiu eventually raises his head up to look at his face and try to work out what the issue is?
Is he actually insulted at Shen Qingqiu trying to ask him for a favour after all?
“...Say something Liu-shidi?” he asks after a while.
“It is dishonourable to make false promises,” Liu Qingge says heavily. “I will not put myself in a situation where I am likely to have to break my word.”
What does that mean? He knows Liu Qingge is desperate for battles but he’s going to lose against the protagonist! Can’t Liu Qingge see that?
Actually he probably can’t, he doesn’t know about the protagonist halo.
“You won’t be able to defeat him,” Shen Qingqiu says desperately, trying a different approach, “He’ll kill you if you try. He wins every battle he gets into, and every woman he casts eyes on falls for him, and he gets everything he wants. Binghe can’t lose.”
And he can’t lose Liu-Shidi.
What? Where did that thought come from?
But he can’t refute it the more he thinks about it. The idea of a world without Liu Qingge, a world where he’s dead - Shen Qingqiu had read about that world once. He doesn’t want to experience it.
“Is this what your weaselly friend wrote in his book?” Liu Qingge says slowly after some pause. “So all of our fates are fluid and up to us except for your disciple? His is set in stone?”
Yes! Exactly Liu-Shidi. You’re meant to be dead right now but you’re not! Don’t squander it fighting the protagonist on Shen Qingqiu’s behalf. He’s not worth it- not if the cost is his friend.
Shen Qingqiu doesn’t get the chance to voice any of this before Liu Qingge continues, but he supposes some of this thoughts must read on his face.
“Our actions and our choices are all our own except for him ? He gets excuse after excuse. He tries to hurt you! But it’s okay because he doesn’t have a choice ?” Liu Qingge is shouting now, and Shen Qingqiu’s not sure how to calm him down.
“You told me that we all had choices, that the Talentless Hack didn’t control us. Were you lying ? Or do you just not want to admit that your disciple has rotted , that he doesn’t want to be better? You are not a valid sacrifice!” Liu Qingge roars.
“Everyday now I wake up and I am thankful that I’m alive. Because I was meant to be dead, but I’m not. Because you refused to be subject to fate. You seem to think- but- you’re” Liu Qingge cuts himself off looking suddenly embarrassed
Shen Qingqiu is lost for words himself.
“It’s my fault,” he says quietly after a while, “What Binghe’s become, I- I kicked him and now he’s angry and-”
Liu Qingge slaps the wall, startling Shen Qingqiu out of his melancholy.
“What he does- his actions are not your actions, and you cannot take the blame for what he chooses to do! You kicked him- that was your fault. What he chooses to do now is on him. Not you - not even Airplane, him .” Liu Qingge says this so quietly that it contrasts starkly with his previous rage but there is a solid determination in his eyes.
That’s the second time he’s heard the war god refer to his friend as Airplane, and not Air brush like everyone else, he would ask but he has more pressing matters.
Shen Qingqiu just wishes he could agree with the other man. Except that his disciple had been fine before Shen Qingiqu had kicked him into the abyss. Kicking him had been wrong and Shen Qingqiu hadn’t wanted to do it. He hadn’t even had a choice in the matter.
Binghe deserved to be angry, and to be angry at Shen Qingqiu. Shen Qingqiu just didn’t want to face the consequences of what he’d done, he was just a coward and Liu Qingge ought to be ashamed of him if he knew.
But this conversation was going nowhere- especially in regards to protecting Liu Qingge.
“Promise me you won’t fight him,” Shen Qingqiu begs desperately and he thinks he feels tears building up in his eyes. “ No matter what he does- don’t let him bait you- don’t go after him. If he wants to-” he swallows, he can’t say it, he can’t say kill him, torture him and rip his legs off. It makes it too real, too scary.
“Whatever happens,” he continues, “Leave him alone, I won’t be worth it.” He looks away, he can’t face Liu-shidi, the man he had briefly hoped in the past would protect him.
Now he’s just scared of the cost of that protection for Liu Qingge. He can’t let the man get hurt on his account.
“You are,” Liu Qingge says forcefully, and Shen Qingqiu thinks he feels tears prickle in his eyes and he hastily blinks them away. “And I can’t make that promise. I’m sorry.”
Shen Qingqiu can’t take this anymore. Look at them both, two men who are already dead but desperately clinging to their last moments of life.
He leaves and if his eyes are blurry only he needs to know.
He needs to set some things in order with Airplane bro- they’re going to need to speed up the pace of the vegetable body and-
Is it still too late to make the body for Liu Qingge instead of himself?
With a lighter skip in his step he hurries to An Ding peak.
Maybe Liu Qingge can still be saved.
“No, bro. Sorry, no can do,” Airplane-bro tells him once it’s the next day and Shen Qingqiu’s explained his plan to try and save stupid War Gods who won’t listen and are going to get themselves killed.
“Firstly, what the hell is going to happen to you ?! We already know that the protag is gunning after you! Look after yourself first bro! Secondly if Liu Qingge ever found out what I did I would become very dead- and you’d be dead, and then Liu Qingge would probably just go fight the protag again and we’d all be dead.” Airplane bro shakes his head- traitor!
“Sorry bro, but I’m not having that on my conscience, and if you try to do this again I’ll go tell Liu-bro and then you can deal with his smothering.”
What? Since when did Liu-shidi become a bro as well?! Airplane you traitor! And smothering ? Why would Liu-shidi be all concerned and smothering over Shen Qingqiu. Fighting Luo Binghe was just because the man was half demon surely? Nothing to do with Shen Qingqiu here.
Although… Liu-shidi was always very fussy over Shen Qingqiu’s meridians and scowling for him to take better care of himself. And his fans… speaking of he’s lost one of his favourite ones recently. Maybe he should ask Liu-shidi if he’s seen it. The other man was always so good at finding them.
As if triggered by the fact that he suddenly recalled his Meridians the Without A Cure flared up. He curses the dramatic timing of Airplane-bro! So stupid, why does a disease need a sense of drama?
“You useless author!” He curses out his fellow-transmigrator. “I was just thinking about my meridians and then your stupid curse flares up! Why must everything be so cliche and useless!” He hits Shang Qinghua over the head with his fan for good measure.
“Were you thinking about your meridians, or about a certain peak lord helping with them,” Shang Qinghua says with an eyebrow wiggle.
What? What are you on about Airplane-bro- make sense please!
Clearly sensing his displeasure the next sentence out of Shang Qinghua’s mouth is considerably more helpful.
“Ahah- okay, okay bro! If you go back to your peak then I can go and get Liu-bro to come visit you if you want?”
Shen Qingqiu nods, it seems Airplane Bro can be useful sometimes. Maybe he can use this opportunity to further press how important it is that Liu-shidi not throw away his life for Shen Qingqiu- especially if Shen Qingqiu dies and turns into a vegetable because Liu shidi will no longer have to worry about clearing his meridians.
Maybe that will work.
As quickly as he can he makes his way back to his little bamboo hut on Qing Jing Peak and lights a candle to alleviate some of the darkness. He brews some tea and even assembles some snacks. He can’t really be bothered to go to the store rooms at this time of night, but he’d bought some salted nuts while in the town earlier so he lays them out in case Liu Qingge feels peckish. Shang Qinghua never seems to order any in and he vaguely wonders if Liu Qingge will have even eaten any before.
Then he sits and he waits.
If he gets a little hungry and eats most of the nuts while he’s waiting then that’s his business. And if he decides that the remaining few nuts look a little lonely and eats the rest of them then Liu-Shidi never needs to know.
There’s a knock on the door (at last) and he turns around calling “Liu-Shidi” a smile works his way onto his face without permission- because he’s meant to be annoyed at the War God but his company still pleases him.
“ Shizun ,” a cold voice calls out and it chills his blood to ice.
Shit, shit, shit. He doesn’t want to die, his body’s not ready, goodbye sweet legs! You have served me well!
He does the one thing he never thought he would do- it goes against everything he wants- but it’s all he can think of right now.
Maybe fate doesn’t have to be fixed. There is someone that the protagonist had never had the opportunity to fight in the novel.
“LIU QINGGE!” He screams, praying that the war god is already nearby, that Shang Qinghua has not been incompetent for once, and that several feet of War God will be able to come and at least restore Shen Qingqiu’s spiritual energy so he can put up a fight. Or so that Liu Qingge can come and they can fly away on his sword together and leave the protagonist far far behind.
“Liu-shishu is busy fighting I’m afraid,” Luo Binghe sneers, voice like burning ice, “That’s all animals like to do it seems. He’s not going to come for you but maybe I could help instead?”
Did- did the protag just purr that last bit? Heavens help him.
He stands up on shaking legs fully intending to run to flee , except that his spiritual energy is gone and he won’t be able to get anywhere before Luo Binghe catches up.
He’s just working out the benefits of trying to make a break for it anyway when quicker than his eye can see Luo Binghe has stood up and slammed him back into a wall.
“You keep trying to run away , Shizun. Don’t you want to talk to me? Your favourite disciple? I certainly have a lot of things I want to say to you?” The faux-pleasant tone of voice is immediately belied by the cruel smile on his former disciple’s face.
“But that can be fixed, I can give you a little present and make sure that you stay this time. And if you get away somehow - which you won’t- I’ll know exactly where you are and make sure to find you and make you regret leaving.” The protag hisses as he reaches for his sword.
Is he- what is he- wha- Shen Qingqiu needs to think , the only weapon he has left is his brain - his knowledge- but even that’s skipping out on him right now!
“I’m a half demon now, and I have demon blood,” Luo Binghe grins and Shen Qingqiu feels completely sick.
“I can tell by Shizun’s face that he knows what that means,” Luo Bingeh says happily- or the twisted version of happy that this blackened version feels.
The protagonist had never fed the original goods blood parasites in the novel. The whole concept hadn’t even shown up until far, far later.
This means- this means that this is all this Luo Binghe, not Airplane.
God what has Shen Qingiqu done ? What has he turned his once harmless disciple into ?
The protag gives him a truly disturbing grin and with the hand not pressing Shen Qingqiu into the wall makes a small cut on his wrist.
Shen Qingqiu is not drinking that. He is not . He seals his lips as firmly as he can and tries to turn his head away.
There is no sensation of anything being pressed against his mouth and despite his better instincts he finds himself turning back to look at his ex-disciple.
Luo Binghe is sucking the blood from his own wrist!
The fuck ?! Shen Qingqiu almost forgets the horror of what’s about to be done to him as he tries to puzzle this out.
“You are mine Shizun. Not that of the false god, or the war Lord ! And this disciple will seal that bond with a kiss .”
Shen Qingqiu’s first thought is how can the protag still talk so clearly with a cheek full of blood.
His second is that if he somehow makes it out of this situation he is going to kill Airplane Bro for making such a disturbed character. Because if Airplane didn’t make Luo Binghe like this- then that means that Luo Binghe made himself . And Liu Qingge is right and-
His third thought is-
“Bro! Bro!” Shang Qinghua shouts, sounding terrified, skidding into the hut, drawing Luo Binghe’s attention away from himself, and Shen Qingqiu can’t help but feel guiltily grateful. “There are demons on Qian Cao Peak! Liu Qingge can’t get away- but I think it’s a distraction and Luo Binghe’s probably on his way right now - we need to-”
Shang Qinghua abruptly cuts himself off as the author suddenly realises that they were not alone in the hut. You really need to work on your situational awareness Air-bro! He thinks a little hysterically.
“Hello Airbrush ,” Luo Binghe sneers, “How very astute of you. And they call you a god?! For this ? I can truly see the heavenly might in your brain you-”
“Uh technically it was all an acciden- Wait.” Airplane Bro seems to shake himself back into reality and Shen Qingiqu almost dares hope that Shang Qinghua might be his saviour .
Come on! Throw chloroform at him again! Save your fellow transmigrator!
“Leave him alone,” Shang Qinghua says, and his voice is shaking. Airplane-bro is brandishing his sword - his useless cultivator Airplane?
Shen Qingqiu’s changed his mind, run away from here, Airplane. Before he kills you too!
Luo Binghe growls and there’s a pulse of spiritual energy. “I’ll deal with you later Airbrush, you could be useful to have on my side- but for now we can’t have you interfering.”
“Leave him alone! Don’t! My name’s not even Airbrush ! So why does everyone think it is? Just leave-” Shang Qinghua shouts from Shen Qingqiu’s side but he doesn’t move at all so Shen Qingqiu supposes Luo Binghe must have used some form of talisman.
He tunes out Shang Qinghua’s appreciated, but ultimately useless ragings as his ex-disciples face moves closer to his.
There are lips on his in some twisted parody of a kiss and it’s savage and he wants it off .
It’s deeply unpleasant, and there’s something slimy which- it’s Luo Binghe’s blood . His demonic blood, in Shen Qingqiu’s mouth.
He can feel it sliding around and he tries his desperate best not to swallow it, not to ingest any of the blood parasites that will allow Luo Binghe to have control. He’s trying to push Luo Binghe off him, but without spiritual power it’s practically useless.
That’s until Luo Binghe stumbles back, wheezing slightly.
Shen Qingqiu watches frozen and he’s aware that Shang Qinghua has gone silent by his side as they watch Luo Binghe start choking and slowly reddening.
His former disciple collapses to the floor, sword clattering out of his hand and he lies still, his tongue hanging out of his mouth looking rather swollen.
Suddenly, the system starts shrieking.
\(*x*)/ “DEUS EX MACHINA! DEUS EX MACHINA! RUINING THE PLOT! RUINING THE PLOT! MINUS 3987 BB POINTS FROM YOU BOTH! NOT PREVIOUSLY EXPLAINED TO VIEWERS! DEUS EX MACHINA! DEUS EX-”
Shut up you damned system! Shen Qingqiu’s not really thinking too hard, he just wants to the system to go away and keep his BB points.
“It’s justified as a deus ex machina if we have a god with us though,” He argues, “Airplane is now considered to be a god in this world, so it might be a deus ex machina but it doesn’t have the problems of one- and so is not “ruining the plot.””
Hopefully that works. He catches Shang Qinghua giving him a hopeful and grateful look.
Blessed Silence reigns.
“So I think he just went into anaphylactic shock- have you been eating nuts bro? Disgusting ,” Shang Qinghua says like he can’t quite believe it, and lets out a daring kick at Luo Binghe’s body before darting back to hide behind Shen Qingqiu.
Why are you hiding behind me! Why should I have to die because you kicked the protag?!
Remembering the blood still in his mouth, Shen Qingqiu retches coughing up all he can, before grabbing the tea to wash his mouth out and spitting that out onto the floor as well.
“ What? ” he asks after a long moment processing that. Blood, demons, anaphylaxis?? . “All those times we ate together because I was trying to get him not to hate me and I could have just-” He glares at Shang Qinghua. “Are you fucking kidding me Airplane Bro!” He breathes out, this hadn’t been in the book. He’s sure he would have remembered something like this.
Plenty of other background characters had traits and personalities far beyond what Airplane Bro had published- or even written in his private notes from the sound of things. Why couldn’t the protagonist develop a nut allergy of his own accord!
“I guess we should just be glad that you don’t actually have complete control over this world,” Shen Qingqiu lets out a slightly hysteric laugh. “But just think about how much less stressful everything could have been if-” Shang Qinghua has adopted a very guilty looking expression which he hastily wipes clear once he notes Shen Qingqiu’s attention on him. His suspicion doubles and he narrows his eyes.
“If you tell me that you knew about this, then I will-”
“I didn’t think it was canon!” Shang Qinghua bursts out nervously. “It was just a joke April Fool’s day chapter and I took it down after a week! And promptly forgot about it because none of my readers actually found it funny so I decided not to do anymore April Fool’s chapters in future.”
Shen Qingqiu glares and hits Shang Qinghua over the head once with his fan.
“ Airplane shooting towards the sky! You useless, incompetent, talentless, idiotic, hack writer! May all your children be born as donkeys! May-”
Shang Qinghua ducks out of reach so Shen Qingqiu has to chase him to keep hitting him with his fan.
“I thought it would be funny if all demons were allergic to nuts- because I fucking hate nuts,” Shang Qinghua explains as he runs backwards, “But I deleted it and never mentioned it again! It shouldn’t even be canon! And he’s only half demon! Don’t kill me Cucumber Bro! You should be thanking me for my failed attempt at humour- it just saved your legs!”
Shen Qingqiu shrieks with rage.
“I’ll show you grateful! Come back here!”
Eventually Shen Qingqiu calms himself down and decides to stop hitting Shang Qinghua with his fan, although he notices the author is careful to stay out of arm's reach. They’re walking across to Bai Zhan peak to inform Liu Qingge of what happened and the other man has a thoughtful look on his face.
“Do you reckon we should expand our enterprise to include epi-pens bro?” Airplane posits.
“Our enterprise?” Shen Qingqiu says doubtfully. What enterprise?
“Our drug enterprise Cucumber-bro! You know, Vaccines, anesthetics and stuff. I was thinking about- well- you know- what just happened and like, maybe this world could do with some epi pens? I think I might know where to start…”
First things first, to be completely honest Shen Qingqiu’s not entirely sure that it’s accurate to refer to it as their enterprise considering Shang Qinghua does like 90% of the work and has 100% of the technical know-how. Shen Qingqiu just acts as a sounding board and occasional grumpy cheerleader.
Second-
“Well considering I’m only alive right now with all my legs”- and free from blood parasites he does not say feeling sick all over again- “due to a conspicuous lack of epipens in this world, I’m currently not feeling particularly charitable to their existence at the moment.” He doesn’t want to talk about this, think about how it’s only a freak accident that he’s alive and free .
“Eh, fair I guess bro. But there are people in this world who aren’t demons so, and even if Mobei-Jun’s not talking to me at the moment I wouldn’t want him dead so-” Shang Qinghua breaks himself off with a cough as if realising that perhaps now is not the best time to be talking about his frankly weird relationship with a demon.
“Yeah, anyway. I guess it’s just good- bad?- I dunno- luck that Luo Binghe hasn’t had an attack already. But then again I guess that none of the Peaks actually stock nuts as a rule- and I would know because I order all the food, and I fucking hate nuts and that’s why I wouldn’t allow them in my domain. That’s why I made demons allergic to nuts actually, because they are hellspawn- the way they feel in your mouth is so not good. So I was like why shouldn’t they be a weakness and-”
“Are you telling me,” he says slowly, making sure he’s correct about this, “That your nutphobia is the reason why he hadn’t accidentally died yet?! Would it have killed you to feed him a single nut?!” To think years of fear and stress and desperately strategic planning (and nearly having blood parasites forced down his throat) were all permitted because Airplane bro doesn’t like nuts?!
“Uh, maybe,” Shang Qinghua replies warily, “-but before you kill me bro remember they’re also the reason that he’s dead now . If I hadn’t had that “nut phobia” as you put it then I wouldn’t have made demons allergic and he wouldn’t have uh-” died from trace nut contact as a result of kissing your Shen Qingqiu hears Airplane-bro deliberately not say and is grateful for it- “from the nuts.” Shang Qinghua finishes lamely instead.
“ True ,” Shen Qingqiu says after a while, and they keep walking in silence for a little longer. He supposes he should forgive Airplane-bro for that.
Then Shang Qinghua pipes up agan, an unholy grin on his face that Shen Qingqiu does not trust for a minute .
“You know what this means?” the other man asks, sounding like he’s holding back a laugh.
“What?” Shen Qingqiu asks distrustfully after a short pause.
“This means that you nutted Luo Binghe to death,” and Airplane’s bros words are coming through wheezes as the man tries to hold himself together.
“Ow! No! Wait-” Airplanebro shouts as Shen Qingqiu hits him with his fan.
So much for that temporary truce.
Never open your mouth again for the good of humanity! Shen Qingqiu thinks, as he chases an errant author.
Shen Qingqiu is pleased, although not altogether surprised, to see Liu Qingge busy cleaning his sword looking none the worse for wear back in the man’s quarters on Bai Zhan peak. He hadn’t really doubted that the War God would be capable of expelling any of the demonic invaders from the Cang Qiong Mountain Sect, but it still eases his heart a little to know that his Liu-Shidi hadn’t been hurt by the protagonist’s schemes.
And frankly the less he thinks about Luo Binghe’s schemes the better. He shudders, thinking of slimy blood in his mouth and has to bite down the urge to try and scrape his tongue out.
“Hello Liu-Shidi,” he calls softly, and when the other man looks up he sees an expression of relief he’s sure mirrors the one on his own.
“Are you hurt?” Liu Qingge asks, sounding a little urgent, and Shen Qingqiu doesn’t quite know what to make of that concern so he just decides to ignore it instead.
“I’m fine,” he tells Liu Qingge resolutely, because he is, “We both are. Without a Cure has flared up but I’ll live-”
Before he can continue further Liu Qingge has placed a gentle hand on his shoulder and is guiding him into a chair. Those familiar gentle fingers wrap around his wrist and he allows himself to relax as the familiar spiritual energy is passed into his body. The gentle touch of Liu Qingge is nothing like Luo Binghe and he feels a tenseness he hadn’t realised was still there dropping out of him.
“Luo Binghe?” Liu Qingge asks quietly.
Oh, Luo Binghe. They should probably tell Liu Qingge.
“Oh yeah,” Shang Qinghua pipes up, entering the conversation at last, “We might have accidentally killed Luo Binghe via nut,”
The look on Liu Qingge’s face is priceless and Shen Qingqiu finds himself covering his own face with his fan to avoid betraying any of his emotions.
Privately, Shen Qingqiu’s still not entirely sure how he feels about the whole matter. Underwhelmed for sure- a nut allergy ? But he’s also torn, he sees the deranged face of a man who probably would have liked to tear off his legs and had tried to infect him with blood parasites , but then he thinks of little Luo Binghe, his harmless sheep.
Was it always inevitable that this would happen? Was there nothing he could have done to change it.
“Are you sure? Could it not be a ploy for us to lower our defences so that he could strike when our guards are weakest? A nut?! ” Oh Liu-shidi, so mistrustful.
Not that he really blames him.
“Yeah, it seems that the prota- that Luo Binghe had a weakness to nuts! Amazing, incredible, who knew…” Airplane bro assures Liu Qingge.
You should have, Airplane Bro! Shen Qingqiu will not let you off the hook this easily!
“I told you that not everything that Airplane wrote about Luo Binghe would be concrete, and not everything about him would be written,” Liu Qingge says seriously to Shen Qingqiu, and Liu Qingge may very well be right- but he’s not ready to think about that yet , and Shang Qinghua is right there .
“Oh no,” Shen Qingqiu says carelessly, shooting Airplane Bro- who’s been suspiciously silent about this matter, standing at his side- a dangerous look. “See, Airplane here actually did write about Luo Binghe’s weakness to nuts. He just forgot about it, easy to do I’m sure.” He smirks a little as Shang Qinghua blanches and hides behind him.
A look of utter rage grows on Liu Qingge’s face.
“ What ?” the man growls, and Shen Qingqiu almost pities Shang Qinghua in that moment but the idiot deserves it.
It’s not like Liu Qingge’s really going to hurt Airplane-bro anyway.
“I wrote like 6,666 chapters of words bro!” Shang Qinghua says from where he’s hiding behind Shen Qingqiu, “We can’t all be like cucumber-bro” -Indeed they can’t he thinks smugly- “and remember it all! Have some pity on me Liu Bro! It’s been like 30 years or something for me!”
“I would think that the man who can do all the paperwork for an entire sect, manage being a highly successful spy-” Liu Qingge knows that?! Why did Shang Qinghua never tell him that he had been exposed!? “-and start his own enterprise would at least remember such an incredibly crucial detail such as our biggest problem’s weakness! ”
Exactly! You tell him Liu-Shidi!
Except our problem? Liu Qingge hated Binghe too? He hopes that Liu-shidi isn’t insulted that he and Airplane-bro managed to kill Luo Binghe by accident when they’d told Liu Qingge that he wouldn’t have a chance.
Hmm.
“I hope Liu-shidi isn’t too angered that he didn’t have a chance to fight Binghe, and that this Peak Lord did instead. Liu Qingge shouldn’t take it as an insult to his own martial skills,” Shen Qingqiu says diplomatically, trying to be considerate of his fellow peak Lord’s feelings while also secretly very pleased that they hadn’t had a chance to fight.
He’s still pretty certain that Luo Binghe would have come out on top, and he’s only glad that he’s never had to have that fact confirmed.
Liu Qingge’s staring at him, open mouthed, and Shang Qinghua is giving him a look that can probably be best described as are you fucking kidding me bro?
He feels rather alarmed. Is it that ridiculous to hope that Liu-shidi wouldn’t be too mad?
“I don’t care about that!” he hears Liu Qingge choke out at last, “I don’t care, as long as you’re safe and you don’t have to be scared of him anymore then I don’t care how he died or who did it!”
Oh.
He didn’t realise that Liu Qingge hated Luo Binghe so much.
“I can’t believe I never realised how much you hated Luo Binghe while he was still alive,” he says laughing slightly. For the war god to want someone dead so much that he didn’t even care if he wasn’t the one to do it was a true hate indeed!
He hears the sound of a smack behind him and he strongly believes it was Airplane Bro hitting himself in the face.
Why are you hitting yourself Airplane Bro ! You’re the fool here!
Liu-shidi has gone rather red.
“ No ,” he hears the other man say firmly, “It wasn’t about him . It’s not about him. It’s- I-” if possible Liu Qingge has gone even redder as he cuts himself off.
A cough from behind him.
“Well I’m just going to go do some stuff, logistics stuff. I’ll uh, leave you two to it. Liu-bro ” Shang Qinghua says rather pointedly and then takes off, leaving Shen Qingqiu sitting there with Liu Qingge’s hand still around his own.
And when had Liu-shidi slid his fingers up Shen Qingqiu’s wrist to tangle their fingers together?!
And why didn’t Shen Qingqiu mind ?
He catches Liu Qingge see him looking at their clasped hands but he doesn’t make to move his fingers and Liu-Shidi doesn’t either.
“I promised myself,” Liu-shidi starts speaking at last, still rather red, “When I fought your disciple that time in the square I made myself a vow that if I lived through it I would tell you something. I haven’t told you yet, but I would like to now- if I may?”
Shen Qingqiu nods, “Of course Liu-Shidi, you may tell me anything.”
Liu Qingge still looks rather awkward, but his tension seems to lessen somewhat and he nods as he starts speaking again.
“You must tell me if what I am about to say is unwelcome but-”
Oh Liu-Shidi, how silly. “Nothing you could possibly say to me could ever be unwelcome,” he tells the other man. Perhaps not particularly pleasing, or rather concerning he thinks. Things like- I will fight Luo Binghe for you- which was not so much unwelcome, as rather worrisome for Liu Qingge’s continued health.
Liu Qingge’s complexion was now roughly resembling that of a tomato.
“I believe that I-” a small cough, “I love you. I’ve been sure in my affections for some time but I wasn’t certain how to bring it up and then I feared that- No matter. I don’t even like tea, but I enjoy drinking it with you. And the way you talk, and even though you keep losing your fans everywhere - but I will always return them to you and- I- I.” Liu Qingge stutters a little before continuing resolutely, “I love you. Very much.”
Shen Qingqiu is aware his mouth is likely open in an ungainly fashion but he can’t find it within himself to close it.
What ?
He doesn’t say anything for a moment, and then another. He attempts to discreetly assess Liu Qingge’s spiritual signature from where their fingers are intertwined, but he can’t sense anything amiss like a possession.
A qi deviation perhaps? How to test for that?
Before he can work out how to try, Liu Qingge has ripped their hands apart. Shen Qingqiu barely has the chance to mourn the sudden lack of warmth before the War God turns tail and runs out of the room.
“Liu Qingge just told me that he was in love with me,” Shen Qingqiu says abruptly once he arrives at An Ding Peak and promptly finds Shang Qinghua.
“ Finally ,” is all that Shang Qinghua says in response, still focused on poking a vial of something on his desk.
What do you mean finally?! Is this not a surprise to you?! He decides to repeat himself in case Airplane Bro was ignoring him.
“I said that Liu Qingge- the War God of Bai Zhan Peak - just said he was in love with me !” He repeats a little more forcibly.
“Good for you bro! You have honestly no idea how long I’ve been waiting for- why are you here?” Shang Qinghua says confusingly before breaking himself off. Is it too much to ask for a little surprise from his fellow transmigrator!?
“You good with that?” Shang Qinghua asks carefully, “Do you not actually - or did you just run out on him after he confessed?” he groans, “Cucumber-bro please do not tell me that you just upped and ditched I will-”
“ He ’s the one who left,” Shen Qingqiu admits a little petulantly, “I didn’t know what to say! I was just trying to work out what to say- what if he’d been possessed ! And then he ran off! No idea where to, considering we were on his peak but…” he trails off and shrugs.
“Maybe you telling Liu-bro that you thought he was possessed for liking you was a little awkward for him to handle bro,” Airplane Bro tells him dryly- and where is this sarcasm coming from! Where is your respect for your number one anti-fan!?
“Why is he a bro as well now?” Shen Qingqiu asks instead, because that’s easier to focus on than the confusing mess of feelings in his chest right now.
Airplane bro just grins a wide, wide grin at him. “What? You jealous that I’m going to make a move to steal your man bro? Nah- he’s not my type. We just talk a lot. Mostly about you, and fate. Liu-bro is surprisingly philosophical. But don’t worry, you’re still my number one transmigrator-bro, Cucumber-bro.”
Well, that’s a lot to take in. Liu Qingge talks about him? Him ?
Although considering that apparently the man loves him maybe it’s not that surprising.
And Liu Qingge loves him! But why?
The war god is attractive, and skilled, and remarkably funny. He’s also very good company and lets Shen Qingqiu witter on at him when Liu Qingge comes to fix his meridians. He also makes sure to return all the fans that Shen Qingqiu leaves dotted around the sect- even some he’s pretty sure that he’d lost on some of their travels together.
Point being, the man is far too nice and good (and handsome) and surely should have so many suitors sweeping up to his door that Liu Qingge shouldn’t have time to think about him .
He thinks about his shidi, and how their fingers had tangled together. How warm and happy and at peace he’d felt.
Oh, he thinks. But it’s a better kind of oh.
Maybe he would be very happy, he thinks, to be boyfriends- what’s the term in this world? Who knows, boyfriends it is, with Liu Qingge. But surely the other man could do better?
But he wants to be selfish, he wants to accept Liu Qingge’s offer anyway.
“And he’s finally worked it out!” Shang Qinghua says from his desk, breaking Shen Qingqiu out of his reverie and wriggling his fingers in the air in some semblance of applause, “Honestly bro , I can not tell you how long I’ve been waiting for you two to get your thick heads together. I have been throwing you at each other, but everytime I try to get you and Liu Qingge alone you wind up sending us off together! That man has the patience of a saint.”
Shen Qingqiu kind of wants to glower at Airplane-bro because he doesn’t like it when he’s the last to know things, but it’s not really Airplane bro’s fault so he doesn’t.
“I will admit that me telling him that Baby-shark was an incredibly touching song for you from our home that you adored was perhaps not my best move. But also I thought it would be funny, and I also lowkey didn't think he’d do it. Oops” Airplane-bro continues and what?
Shen Qingqiu casts his mind back and revises his opinion. Baby shark is now the best song to have ever been written and come out of the modern World if Liu Qingge was willing to learn words to a song- that he had no idea how to say - to try and make him happy.
Who knew you had such a soft heart Liu Qingge?
“Don’t do it again ,” He tells Airplane-bro instead of whacking his friend with his fan because he’s in a good mood, to which Shang Qinghua raises his hands in surrender.
Then he runs out to go and find Liu Qingge.
Ultimately in the end he decides the best course of action is to just wait outside Liu Qingge’s door until the man inevitably returns. The lights are off inside and no one responds to any knocking so Shen Qingqiu is going to take it on faith that no one is home as opposed to Liu Qingge just avoiding him.
It’s still night out, but as an immortal golden core cultivator he doesn’t really have to worry about things like getting cold. It’s just boredom that he really has to stave off while he waits.
And he waits a while.
He considers giving up, but he doesn’t want Liu Qingge to think he’s abandoned him, that he’s runaway or rejected him anymore than he already has.
Eventually he hears footsteps and he stands up, a slight smile on his face.
“Hello there,” he calls out with a slight wave, the footsteps suddenly stop, “I think I might have left my fan in your room. And we never got to finish our conversation Liu-shidi,” he stops, “Because someone ran off before I could reply.” He says a little pointedly, but keeping the tone of his voice kind.
“It’s fine,” Liu Qingge says flatly, and the other man has resumed walking now, stepped closer so that Shen Qingqiu can make out the pinched lines on his face. “You don’t feel the same, I must respect that. I will not both-”
Shen Qingqiu cuts him off. No Liu-Shidi! That is not alright at all!
“I may have uh- reacted” fucking awfully “- a little oddly, but it was just a lot to take in. Somehow, even as the literature Peak God I don’t think I will be as good with words here Liu-Shidi,” he says a little wryly, “So let this be my answer.”
He steps forward, closing the little distance left between them. He links their fingers and brings their hands up so that they’re pressed between their chests.
Liu Qingge is warm and soft, and Luo Binghe is gone and his legs are still firmly attached.
Everything is good.
Airplane bro could have never written this, because Liu Qingge was meant to be dead and Shen Yuan wasn’t meant to exist in this world, but it’s happening and it’s real .
He’s made this for himself - this is all his - not the original goods.
He lifts his head and goes to find Liu Qingge’s mouth with his own.
“Congratulations! Achievement- Healthy Relationship? In My Proud Immortal Demon Way? Reached! 250 BB Points awarded. ;-P. Would you like to accept the alternate, alternate pathway- “Healthy Bodies, Healthy Relationships?” Important Characters- Shang Qinghua, Liu Qingge, and player Peerless-Cucumber,” The system chimes.
Shen Qingqiu does not break himself away from Liu Qingge’s nice warm chest to rage but it is a near thing.