Chapter Text
Time is a frustrating thing. It moves so quickly yet can feel like it is standing still. Ash knew he was improving but not fast enough. His fame was becoming almost unbearable. Studios had reached out to him and offered him jobs there. His manager had told him to consider hiring a professional assistant. This had angered Ash. He was fine with Eiji. It was hard for him to trust others with his work and Eiji knew what he was doing. If the time came that Eiji switched to a modeling role then he would get an assistant. If Eiji left he would get an assistant. If Eiji stayed however Ash was not going to replace him.
On the other hand, the time spent with Eiji was a great joy. They had gotten very close in the last year. Eiji had practically moved into Ash’s apartment. Although not official, Ash always had Eiji’s clothes, toothbrushes, and other living things at his house. Both of them had keys to the other’s place and just showed up unannounced. Ash wished he could ask Eiji out and make it official, but he knew he couldn’t, not until after he asked Eiji to be his model.
---
“Thank you, Jessica. That’s all for today.” Ash watched the young woman leave before turning back to his work. Surveying it, he looked for the telltale marks that usually showed his shortcomings. To his surprise, he found very little. The picture held most of Jessica’s personality. Ash’s heart started to hammer. The painting actually looked…good. Perhaps not exactly what he was looking for, but it caught almost everything with very few errors. Ash closed his eyes for a few minutes before opening again. The picture was still good. Ash let out a breath. Was it time? Was he ready? After so long could he actually ask Eiji? Was actually ready to draw a god? The thought was both terrifying and exhilarating. What if it was too late? What if Eiji didn’t want to do it. He would never force Eiji to be his model and there was no guaranty. Even so, Ash hoped for the best.
As if summoned by the power of Ash’s thoughts, the door swung open and Eiji busted in. The energy in the room skyrocket as Eiji charged him, waving around a fancy envelope. He tripped on the carpet and fell face forward nearly knocking Ash over.
“Woah, calm down.” Ash helped him up. “Is someone on fire or dead?”
“What no!” Eiji brushed himself off.
“Well, something must have happened. You did try to nosedive into the carpet.”
Eiji scowled at him and whacked his arm lightly. “If you must know….” He petered off looking behind Ash at the picture of Jessica.
Ash’s heart skipped a beat as he looked from it to Eiji and back at it again. How did the picture look to Eiji? Depending on his reaction Ash might not be as ready as he first thought.
Biting his lip he asked. “What do you think.”
“It’s…amazing.” Eiji hadn’t taken his eyes off of it. “This…. has to be your best piece yet.” A warm feeling spread across Ash’s chest as he let out a breath, he didn’t know he was holding. It was possible for Eiji…No even better, Eiji had said it was his best.
As Ash watched Eiji take in the painting an overwhelming wave of relief hit him. He did it. He got to the point where he was good enough. Then the feeling was gone followed by anxiety. Now it was the moment of truth. This could change everything. Before Ash could open his mouth however Eiji shook his head and tore his gaze away from the canvas.
“I actually came here for a reason. This just arrived in the mail.” Eiji helped up the envelope he was waving. “It’s from the World Art Gallery.” Eiji’s eyes flashed in excitement. Ash’s breath caught. The World Art Gallery only happened once every ten years. It showcased some of the best art in the world. If this was what he thought it was….Ash slowly took the envelop and it. Inside was an invitation.
“You’ve been invited to present a piece of work for the World Art Gallery.” He read out loud his heart hammering. This was perfect timing. He could use the gallery to show the world what true art looked like.
“Congratulations.” Eiji beamed.
“Yeah.” Ash knew his voice sounded stiff but his nerves weren’t letting him think. It was now or never. As Ash opened his mouth Eiji gave a small huff, clearly frustrated at his lack of a reaction.
“This is big Ash, really big.”
“Yes, I’m aware.” Ash tried to smile. “How long do I have to submit a piece?”
“It says the deadline is June 25th of next year” Eiji glanced down at the invite. Ash let out his breath. A year, that would be plenty of time. He turned his gaze to Eiji, a deep excitement bubbled up from his stomach.
“That’s perfect.” He whispered a smile breaking across his face.
Eiji noticing his grin. “I knew you were excited! Stop trying to act cool” he nudged Ash’s shoulder. “For a second I thought you weren’t going to take this seriously Do you have any ideas on what you are going to do?” Eiji’s expression turned business-like. Ash tried to hold back a chuckle.
“Yes.” Ash had made a list of scenes he wanted to draw Eiji in. It would probably take him a little while to choose the right one. “I’m ready for this.”
---
“I’m ready for this.” the joy and determination in Ash’s voice made Eiji’s heart leap. It had been so long since he saw Ash this happy. Eiji wasn’t sure if it was because of the Gallery or because of the new painting. Either way, Ash was in a good mood, though anxious. Eiji understood. This was a big deal. His work would be viewed by millions of people all over the world. Secretly Eiji thought that Ash ad nothing to worry about. His art was on a different level.
Ash’s last picture of Jessica was something to behold. It felt like the painted woman was alive. She had so much life in her. Eiji could tell what kind of person she was and what she was thinking. In the picture, Jessica was sitting by a window. Her eyes were far away almost daydreamy, yet there was a gleam in them that made one thing she might be planning something. Eiji would love to take the time to study it more. He knew he could stare at it for hours, just learning about the woman inside.
This, however, was not the time to do that. He had work to do. As Ash’s assistant, it was his job to make sure everything went smoothly. He had to help Ash set up for the new project. Eiji would make sure that everything was perfect.
“You’ll need a model.” Eiji mussed. “Do you want to use one of the regulars or should I send out invitations for auditions?” Knowing Ash’s desire for perfection, it would probably take a very long time to find the perfect person. Eiji guessed that they were going to have to go through hundreds of gorgeous models before they found the best. A small part of his mind grumbled at the thought. He shoved his jealousy back. This wasn’t about him; it was about Ash. He was not going to ruin this by thinking those thoughts.
“I know who I want to ask to be my model.” Ash looked nervous.
“Oh.” Eiji didn’t know what to say. After all the years of putting together lists and lists of models, only for Ash to pick one or two if they were good enough, he was shocked how fast Ash was moving. This person must have made quite an impact on him. He wondered why Ash looked so nervous. Did he expect this person to turn him down? Maybe this person was so amazingly perfect that Ash didn’t feel worthy of painting them.
Eiji shot him a reassuring smile. “That’s great. I’m sure they’d love to be your model. Do you have their contact information? I can send them an email right away to ask them to come in….” Eiji frowned thoughtfully. “Actually this is kind of big. I think you should invite them over first and tell them first. It seems rude to do it through email or on the phone.”
“Yeah.” Eiji wasn’t sure if it was the light but Ash looked paler than usual. The thought of confronting his model was clearly bothering him. Eiji’s heart ached. Ash’s paintings were amazing. He couldn’t imagine someone turning down a role in them. Ash had nothing to worry about.
“I can talk to them if you want.” It would kill him inside to have that conversation but if it kept Ash from stressing, he wouldn’t mind. Ash shook his head.
“That’s not necessary. I’m going to do it myself.” He paused. “Eiji let’s talk in the conference room.”
“Alright, let me grab some stuff and I’ll meet you there.” Eiji turned away and hurried to the lobby. Now they were getting down to business. Ash only used the conference room when he was interviewing, drawing up contracts, or giving directions for his next project. Eiji knew his role in those situations. He would sit and listen to Ash and recording everything he said. Then he would go and put everything into motion so Ash could work peacefully.
Eiji arrived at his desk and grabbed a pen and paper. He grabbed a form to fill out the basic information such as phone numbers and names. Finally, he grabbed an empty shopping list. Ash would probably need more surprise soon. Once he got everything, he quickly entered the conference room and shut the door.
The conference room was small with a whiteboard and a round table where three or four people could sit. Ash was already sitting in one of the chairs waiting for him. Eiji jogged over and deposited his stuff on the table before sitting down. Once he was ready, he turned his attention back to Ash. He was surveying him with a serious look on his face. Eiji gulped quietly. Ash never looked that serious before. Even in interviews, he had a carefree mild attitude. Ash understood how big this was. Eiji straightened up. If Ash was going to act this professional, he was too.
“Alright let’s start.” Eiji posed his pen over the paper and looked up expectantly.
Ash opened his mouth, then closed it. He took a deep breath in. “Eiji.” He looked Eiji squarely in the eyes. “I was wondering if you would like to be my model.”
Eiji blinked. “Sorry, can you repeat that again?” He felt like an idiot. Of all the times to lose himself in a daydream this was the worst. Ash was taking this so seriously and now it looked like Eiji didn’t care.
Ash seemed to deflate a little. “I was wondering if you would like to be my model for my next project. I can get a part-time assistant to fill in while you’re modeling.” Ash folded his hands in front of him. “I’m aware that you’re busy and I’m willing to work around your schedule.” Despite how pale he looked, his voice was steady and low. Eiji tried to keep himself from rolling his eyes.
Of all the times to joke this was the worst. Eiji should have guessed he wasn’t taking the World Art Gallery seriously. He had almost forgotten that Ash didn’t care about those things anymore. He was more interested in perfection. He had really gotten Eiji. It was funny how convincing Ash could be when he wanted to. Eiji just wished Ash wouldn’t joke about him being a model. He knew Ash wasn’t a cruel person and had no idea of Eiji’s dark longings, but it still pained him to hear Ash joke so easily about it. He knew he was plain; Ash didn’t need to point that out.
“You want me to model,” Eiji said dryly. He waited for Ash’s mouth to twitch. He waited for the smirk to grace the Lynx’s lips. He waited for his eyes to lose their seriousness and become playful and layback. Instead, Ash’s expression fell.
“Yes. If you don’t want to, I won’t force you to….” He looked downcast. Eiji frowned. It wasn’t like Ash to carry a joke this far. He thought it over for a second.
“Ohhhh.” The truth dawned on him. “I see, you want to do a test drawing before getting the real model.” It made sense. Using a basic person like him would require less effort. Ash could quickly sketch Eiji and see if the setting and pose worked before moving on to the real thing. Ash usually didn’t do it that way but for something as important as this, he must be nervous.
“Alright that’s fine but you still need a proper model as well.” Eiji jolted down a note and turned back to Ash. He found Ash staring at him with an aghast expression
“Why would I do that? That would be a downgrade.”
“What?” Eiji tilted his head. Sometimes he wished he could see how Ash’s mind worked. Maybe then he would understand what he meant by ‘downgrade’.
“I asked why you think I’d need another model other than you?”
Eiji took a deep breath and held it for a second. He had no idea what was going on. Was Ash taking this seriously or not? “Ash, you do know what this is right?”
“Yeah…” Ash started but Eiji interrupted him.
“It’s the biggest event every decade. This will cement your legacy.”
“I know.”
“Well.” Eiji tried to keep the exasperation out of his voice. “You’ll need a model who is almost perfect. One that could complement your art style.” Eiji pointed out the door where the corner of the canvas was still visible “They would have to be as beautiful as Jessica if not more.”
“Yes?”
“Well then stop joking!”
“Who’s joking?” Ash looked frustrated now. “If you don’t want to model-”
“It has nothing to do with what I want or not!” Eiji threw his arms up in the air. “I just want you to take this seriously. This is really big. You need the perfect model!”
“That’s why I’m asking you.”
“Right, for a big life-changing event you want to go with the plainest simple guy out there.” Eiji rolled his eyes. “Come on, if you were going for the common man at least pick someone who’s interesting like Shorter.”
“Common.” Ash croaked weakly. “Have you seen yourself?”
“Yes, Ash I’ve looked in a mirror before.” Eiji sighed. “Which is why I’m saying please choose someone like Jessica or Fredric. They look like angels.” Of all times for Ash to lose his standards, this was the worst time.
“Why would I got for an angel when I can have a god?” Ash scowled at Eiji. “Stop making dumb excuses. If you don’t want to do it just say so.”
“A god….” Eiji stared into Ash’s eyes and only saw his determination. He felt himself deflate. “You actually mean it….” Eiji laughed weakly. “Did you get hit by a car on the way here and got your brains muddled? Is that why you suddenly decided to ask me?”
“I wanted to ask you for a long time.” Ash looked away. “My art was just not enough to capture all of you. I had to keep finding models who could hold a candle to your beauty…That’s why I’m asking you now. I’m finally good enough.”
Eiji listened, the words sinking into his brain slower than molasses. This was really happening. Ash meant everything he said. He wanted Eiji to be his model. He thought Eiji was beautiful. The idea that all the other models were only picked so he could get good enough for Eiji was absurd.
Eiji’s mind was fried. “I mean if you want to….I wouldn’t mind….” Ash’s eyes filled with relief.
“You’ll do it?” he smiled gently. “Thank you.”
----
“Ok, now hold still.”
Eiji rested his arm upon the table as tried not to move. Luckily, he was half facing Ash so he could glance at him while he worked. Ash had set him up at a table. In front of him were his camera and a handful of his pictures. Ash had instructed him to look over the pictures and decide which one was the best. Eiji didn’t really like the pose much. Although comfortable, it felt too simple. It was just what he did every day for school, nothing special. Even so, he trusted that Ash knew what he was doing.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ash set up his easel. A thrill of joy rushed through him. This was real. This was really happening. Eiji was hyper-aware of everything at that moment. He wondered if Ash noticed how loud his heart was beating. If he did, he didn’t comment. Instead, Ash set up containers of art equipment in front of him. There was a tension in the room as Ash straightened up, brush posed.
“Paint me like one of your French girls.”
Ash looked over at him his eyebrows raised and Eiji laughed. The tension dissolves in an instant.
“Not this picture” Ash snorted “but I wouldn’t mind doing that for the next one.”
That shut Eiji up. He squeaked in protest, a slight blush spreading. He would love to bury his face in his hands but forced himself to stand still.
“I didn’t know there would be a next one.” He muttered trying to change the subject.
“If you let me, I’ll paint hundreds of pictures of you.” Ash eyed Eiji and picked up another brush. “Even ones ‘like my French girls.’” He grinned as he began working. Eiji scowled at him.
“Trust me no one would want to see that.” Eiji hoped his face wasn’t as red as it felt.
“Oh, I would disagree.” Ash hummed as he turned back to the canvas and moved his brush along it.
Eiji was sure he could cook a three-course meal on his face right now. “Are you flirting with me? At least ask me out first.”
Ash paused. “If I did would you say yes?”
Eiji gulped. If getting painted was one of his desires, then going out with Ash was the other.
“Only after you finish…” he added quickly. He wanted Ash to keep focused on his art so he would do well for the gallery.
“The gallery you will be in.” a voice purred in Eiji’s head. Eiji couldn’t help but feel pleased.
Ash sighed. “Fair, how about I ask you out when I’m done? Would you say yes?”
“Depends on how good the picture is.” Eiji joked.
Ash nodded solemnly. “I promise Eiji, it will be amazing.”
---
Getting painted by Ash was a dream come true. It didn’t feel real most of the time. He would arrive at the studio right after his class, spinning excuses to his friends on why he couldn’t hang out. Ash wanted to keep this a secret from everyone so no one would know what art piece he was going to make. Eiji would spend hours sitting there watching Ash work. He never really saw Ash in action before. Ash didn’t like others to watch him paint. It was only him and his subject. Now that Eiji was his subject he got the privilege of watching Ash’s elegant movements. He was so graceful and calculated. Eiji loved the way his brow furled when he debated something. He loved it when Ash tilted his head or held up a brush to get another angle. All of it made Eiji fall in love with him all over again. This was what true passion looked like.
Of course, Eiji also loved being the center of Ash’s attention. After the pole-vaulting incident he usually hated having so many eyes on him, but Ash was different. Ash’s eyes scanned over him seeming to see every bit of him. Everything from his strengths, flaws, and personality was visible. He knew Eiji’s good and bad sides. Ash’s gaze would soften lovingly the longer he looked at Eiji. Eiji loved Ash’s deep gaze. He wondered how the picture would turn out. Would he look ok? Would there really be enough of him to make something spectacular? Eiji still doubted that he was worthy enough for this, but he trusted Ash. He just wishes Ash would show him his progress. Ash told him he couldn’t see it until he was done.
---
“Alright Eiji,” Ash placed down his brush. “We’re good.”
“Great.” Eiji stood up and stretched. “Same time tomorrow?”
“No.” Ash shook his head. “I’m done.” Eiji froze, eyes glued on the back of caves. If he walked around it, he would see himself. Eiji’s hands clenched as he took a rasping breath. This was terrifying. He was about to see if he could really be Ash’s model or if Ash had miscalculated. Eiji gulped and slowly dragged his feet forward. As the picture came into view, he lost his breath.
It was as if someone had taken him and replaced him with a beautiful version of himself There sat a young man confident and passionate about his work. This man was kind, gentle, slightly mischievous, and ridiculously stubborn. His hands that worked with the camera were soft but worn. His eyes scanned the photos with an air of passion and professionalism. Here was a story about someone who fell from grace yet was working their way back up. Here was someone who still struggled with their past and their past injuries. Here was someone who could be a brat sometimes but also a loving friend. Here was a suborn person who wouldn’t let things go. Here was the patient person who listened gently. He emanated strength and power as well as meek and mildness.
He was also gorgeous. He was built yet simple. He was a person you might not see right away but the longer you knew him the more beautiful he was. His dark eyes held childishness and wisdom. Their deep color seemed to reflect the night sky. His hair was dark and tamed, reflecting his orderly personality. His body was slightly tense as if he was working hard, yet also relaxed and gentle.
This was him.
Eiji couldn’t form in words how he felt. How did Ash get all this from him? Was this what Ash saw? Eiji had looked in the mirror hundreds of times. He didn’t look like this. He knew his own life story. He wasn’t as interesting or deep as the Eiji in the picture. Yet this was what Ash saw and knew about him. This was what Ash wanted to capture.
“What do you think?” Ash’s anxious voice pulled Eiji back to reality. “It’s good but I am aware it didn’t capture everything. I only just got to a level that I can paint you in. The next one will be better.”
“Ash….it’s…it’s amazing.” The words didn’t do it justice. “I….I can’t even…..” Eiji felt tears prick at his eyes. “This will work as a Gallery picture” he finished lamely. Ash’s expression relaxed. He reached down and took Eiji’s hands.
“Is it good enough for you to go on a date with me?”
Eiji gave a weak laugh. “Yes.” He leaned forward and kissed Ash softly.
---
This was paradise. In the last month, he had completed both of his goals. All that waiting finally came to fruition. He had both successfully painted Eiji and asked him out on a date. Hand in hand they left the studio and headed to the lobby. Ash felt tired after so many hours of painting but satisfied. The anxiety and frustration that clouded his mind were gone. He was at peace with himself and the world.
“So are you two done.”
Ash froze as he took in the crowd waiting for them in the lobby. There was Shorter, Max, Alex, Bones, Kong, Eiji’s sister, Eiji’s teacher Ibe, and Eiji’s friends Sing, and Yut-Lung.
“What are you doing here?!” Eiji asked bewildered.
“We want to see your picture!” Shorter beamed at them.
Eiji laughed nervously “What picture?”
“The one Ash was drawing.” Yut-Lung flipped his hair over his shoulder. “Seriously, did you think we didn’t know?”
“How did you figure it out.” Ash narrowed his eyes. He knew neither he nor Eiji told them. The only other person was the part-time assistant and none of them knew her.
“It was kind of obvious.” Shorter rolled his eyes. “I mean you’ve been wanting to paint Eiji forever.”
“What? How did you know?” Ash had kept that secret under lock and key. There was no way they would have found out.
“Ash.” Max looked pained. “You would complain about your models then say, ‘I wish I could paint a perfect model…’ while your eyes drifted slowly over to Eiji.”
“You were almost as obvious as Eiji’s desire to get painted.” Sing threw in. Eiji squeaked in embarrassment.
“That was supposed to be a secret.”
“Next time you want to keep something a secret don’t gush about how amazing Ash’s pictures were and how luck his models were.” Eiji’s sister put her hands on her hips. “You’re not a jealous person so there had to be a reason behind your jealousy.”
“But…” Eiji looked lost. He glanced at Ash for help. Ash shrugged, as confused as Eiji was. Were they really that obvious?
“Then you guy just…stopped.” Shorter continued. “Eiji no longer bemoaned the other models and you stopped complaining about finding the perfect person. Between that and how busy both of you suddenly were….”
“Plus the gross optimism.” Yut-Lung threw in.
“We kind of all figured that your desires had come true.”
“So now we’re here!” Max finished. “And we’re not leaving until you show us the painting even if it’s not done yet!”
Ash scowled at all of them. He wasn’t supposed to show his work to anyone until the opening day. Even so, he knew he would never hear the end of it if he didn’t show them. They were friends and family after all so it couldn’t hurt… He glanced at Eiji who shrugged as if to say. “I don’t mind if you don’t mind.”
“Fine.” Ash turned back. “but no photos. You can’t talk about this with anyone understand? Leave your phones, cameras, and everything else that can take pictures out here.” With a loud whoop, Shorter flung his phone on the couch and charged into the room, the rest of them hurrying after him.
“And don’t touch anything!” Ash bellowed after them “Seriously.”
“I can’t believe they knew.” Eiji looked mortified. Ash shot him a sidelong glance.
“So what is this about you wanting to be my model?”
“I…” Eiji buried his face in his arms. “You can’t blame me! Your art is so powerful! Who wouldn’t want to be painted by you?”
“Hey.” Ash pulled down his arms and lifted his chin. “No need to be embarrassed.” He grinned at Eiji who scowled slightly and looked away. “But if you wanted to be my model so badly you could have asked.”
“I didn’t think I was good enough,” Eiji muttered. Ash shook his head in bewilderment. He couldn’t understand how Eiji missed how beautiful he was.
“Do you still think that way?”
“After seeing your picture of me.” Eiji shook his head. “I didn’t know I could look like that.”
“You always look like that. I just mealy captured it.”
Eiji turned his head to gaze at Ash. Ash found himself lost in those deep dark eyes. Without another word, they both leaned in. In the background, Ash heard the gasps and ahhs of their friends and family. In front of him, he could feel Eiji’s lips pressed against his own.
Ash’s mind was finally at peace.