Chapter Text
The sensation of moving from one place to the next in the blink of the eye never failed to amaze Luke, but the moment they landed in the waiting room. The moment he took in the fluorescent lighting and white walls and the sight of a pacing Victoria and stoic Ray Molina with a crying Carlos curled up on his lap and a trembling Flynn rubbing circles on the boy’s back, he immediately quelled the urge to run.
As if he could read his mind, Alex held tighter. “Luke…”
“I can’t…” his voice cracked, “I don’t know what to do.”
Alex’s smile was sad, “Just stay,”
“Stay?” The tears were back in earnest now, “And do what, Alex? Hold their hands? Tell them that everything is going to be okay?” Luke knew he was yelling but he was far from caring at that moment. It’s not like anyone else could hear him... “In case you didn’t know, Alex, I’ve already tried comforting a grieving parent, and all it did make me feel worse.”
“Luke…”
He ripped his arm free, “No, I’m not doing this again.”
Reggie reached out a hand, “Luke-”
“Mr. Molina?”
Luke, Alex, and Reggie froze when Carrie Wilson hesitantly approached the family.
The girl carried none of her usual confidence (or bitchiness as Flynn would put it), and she looked both nervous and guilt-ridden. Her shoulders were tense, her eyes void of their usual sharpness as they stared down at the floor then back at the man, and she sucked in a sharp breath when Ray lifted watery blue eyes to hers.
Carrie choked out a sob, covering her mouth with a shaking hand as the tears spilled over.
Flynn, surprising Luke and everyone else, pulled the other girl into a hug and rocked her as she cried into her chest. Flynn murmured something into Carrie’s neck, but it was too muffled for anyone to hear, her own shoulders racked with similar sobs, and Luke almost wanted to look away from them, the sight too raw and painful to face right now.
And then Bobby came in.
The sight of their old bandmate would never stop feeling strange; yet another reminder of their deaths and just how much time had truly passed as well as the betrayal that had occurred within those twenty-five years, but Luke couldn’t find it in himself to be angry then. Not when he looked so scared for Julie.
And he was scared, even if he tried to hide his emotions for his daughter’s sake because Luke had known him for years before he’d died and Bobby hadn’t really changed. All he had to do was look into his eyes to know what he was feeling because those dark brown depths had always reflected everything outwards so clearly to those who knew how to read them…
Ray seemed surprised, “What…?”
The man shifted his weight, “How is she?”
“She was just taken into surgery so they haven’t told us anything yet, but…I recognized the look on the surgeon’s face. It was the same one the other doctor had when he came to tell Rose and I that the chemo had stopped working and…” Ray ran a shaky hand down his face and took a deep breath, tilting his head up to blink back the tears, “Whatever happened to her, I’m just afraid that…”
That jolt-like pain struck Luke in the chest again at the realization that Ray had only lost his wife a little more than a year ago to something as slow and agonizing as cancer. It’d only been a year and now he stood to lose yet another person he loved. To lose his child. His daughter…
The image of his own parents still making a chocolate cake twenty-five years later for him on his birthday and blowing out the candle was like a gut punch because it was all easy to superimpose the man over the memory. After all, Ray, like Emily and Mitch, would never forget those he’d lost. He would never forget his wife or his daughter…
“Rose would kick your ass for even thinking that.”
Ray let out a surprised laugh. “She would.”
Bobby sat on Ray’s other side and put a hand on his shoulder. “So don’t.”
Luke watched the familial interaction between the two men, vaguely remembering when Julie had mentioned her and Carrie being friends back before her mom died. It would only make sense that the parents had, at one point, been just as close as their children and God, the thought of Bobby losing another person…
He poofed out into the parking lot and took a long, shaky breath, Luke sinking to his knees on the sidewalk and squeezing his eyes shut as that same high-pitched whine filled his ears. The memories of the night they’d died began to overlap with the sight of Julie laying limp on the ground, the studio doors bathed in the red and blue of the ambulance, his parents (Ray) blowing out a candle for a birthday their child would never see, Julie’s pale and lifeless body under the harsh fluorescent light of the operating room…
Tears poured freely down his cheeks as he choked out a sob.
Too much.
This was all just too fucking much…
A shadow passed over him and then Reggie was sitting next to him, looking at him with sad eyes as he wrapped an arm around him and pressed his forehead against Luke’s shoulder. No words were said and when Reggie took his hand and squeezed, Luke held onto it like it was the only thing keeping him tethered.
And then he began to cry.
Reggie began humming, a soothing melody that reminded Luke of when he was little and he had a nightmare. Mom wouldn’t hesitate to climb into his bed and gather his gangly seven-year-old limbs into her lap, running her fingers through his hair and rocking with him as she began to sing. He would burrow his face into her chest, her voice and her heartbeat in his ears the first song that had ever moved him…
“Do you ever get scared, Mommy?”
She smiled, brushing fingers through his hair, “Yes.”
“But you’re a grown-up.”
She laughed, “Even grown-ups get sc ared sometimes.”
“Oh.” Luke laid his head on her shoulder, playing with the stone pendant that she always wore around her neck, running his fingers over the smooth surface and the silver chain, watching as they caught the light. “Hey, Mommy?”
“Yeah, sweetheart?”
“What scares you?”
Her arm tightened around him, “Nothing you need to worry about, honey. Nothing at all.”
“She’s out of surgery.”
Luke blinked at the sound of Alex’s voice, the pendant falling back onto his chest, and looked up, surprised to find that the sky had gone from a clear blue to pale sunset pink. He wiped at his eyes, shooting a thankful smile as Reggie helped him to stand. “How is she?”
Alex looked back at the hospital then back at them, “She made it through, but Luke-”
“Well, that’s good, right?”
“Luke…”
“That mean’s she’s gonna be okay-”
“She’s in a coma.”
He stumbled back, “What?”
“The surgeon said…” Alex swallowed and began to fidget, wringing his hands, “He said that there were complications during the surgery, something about how there was a lot of bleeding.” Alex’s breathing began to quicken, eyes glistening with tears, “The blood loss, it...it caused her heart to stop. She stopped breathing. She...she died.”
Luke felt like he was going to be sick, “But you said she made it through-”
“She did, but the surgeon said that he was worried that it took too long to bring her back.” Alex rubbed at his chest and Luke found himself and Reggie doing the same; all three distantly remembering the electricity of the defibrillator paddles shocking them again and again and again... “That her brain didn’t get enough oxygen before her heart started beating again and that-”
“What are you saying?” Luke snapped.
Alex went still, “They don’t know if she’s going to wake up.”
Luke ran a hand through his hair, “What room is she in?”
“Luke-”
He spun around, screaming, “What room?!”
Alex and Reggie flinched as a glass window shattered, the former looking at him with a somber expression while the bassist’s lip trembled as he failed to keep his tears at bay, “Luke, I need you to calm down-”
“You...telling me to be calm.” He scoffed, “That’s rich...”
Alex clenched his jaw, “Luke..."
“How can you ask me that, Alex, with...everything that’s happened.” He strode forward, anger burning hotter with every step he took, “How the hell can you expect me to be calm after everything Caleb’s done to us! After what he did to Julie!” His hands clenched into fists at his sides, “She stopped breathing, Alex! She died!”
“You think I don’t know that!” Alex’s voice cracked, blue eyes red-rimmed and bloodshot (a sure sign that he’d been crying). He ran a hand through his already-mussed hair, and took a deep breath, trying to stave off his own panic, “You aren’t the only one who loves Julie, Luke! We love her too. You’re not the only one that’s hurting!”
Reggie stepped between the two of them, “Enough!”
The sound of their bandmate’s yell brought them up short.
“You both need to calm down.” Reggie’s voice was back to its normal volume, “If we can’t do that, we can’t go to see Julie.” He motioned to the broken window above them, “All it takes is for one of us to get mad and break one of the machines that are helping her and...”
The thought sobered Luke and he winced, running a hand over his face. “Sorry, guys.”
Both shook their heads.
Alex clapped Luke on the shoulder, “As I said, we get it.”
Reggie reached out to take Luke’s hand and squeezed.
Luke soaked in the physical contact, drawing on their strength as he took one deep breath, then another. He stared at the tall, looming hospital for a moment, trying to steel himself for whatever sight awaited them all in there. He looked over at Alex, “Where is she?”
“She’s in the ICU. Room 217.”
“Okay.” He squeezed Reggie’s hand again, “Then let’s go.”
…
He’d thought seeing Julie on the ground would be the worst thing, but…
Luke couldn’t get over just how…small she looked.
Julie, while shorter in stature, had a presence that never failed to fill every room she walked into. She was always so bright and joyful and so full of life that the sight of machines keeping her alive…helping her to breathe, almost didn’t make sense in his mind…like it wasn’t real; a scene plucked straight from a nightmare that would’ve woken him up screaming if he’d still been alive.
She was still and silent, practically lifeless. Her normally voluminous dark curls laid limply on the pillow and the fluorescent lighting of the hospital cast her warm brown skin in a now pale, sickly grey. Her face was gaunt, her eyes and cheeks sunken in like everything had been sucked out of her, which considering what had happened...
He approached her bedside slowly and reached out a hand to place over hers-
-only for it to pass right through.
“No…” he choked out, “Why can’t I…?”
“She’s too weak,” Willie spoke from the doorway.
Alex turned to his boyfriend, “What?”
Willie swallowed as he stared at Julie, “Fighting Caleb took everything she had.”
“Can’t we can give her strength by playing like we did before?” Luke spun around to face Willie, desperation clawing at his insides as the steady beeping and mechanical hissing of the ventilator that breathed for Julie grew louder and louder and God, the sound was going to drive him fucking insane…
He shook his head.
“No! There has to something-”
“There isn’t and I’m sorry.” Willie’s voice cracked on the last word, dark eyes filling with tears when he looked over at Julie. He didn’t react to Alex taking his hand at first, staring at her with such guilt, “What you did for her…it was the only thing that helped her beat Caleb in the first place, but now…” his knuckles went white as he squeezed the drummer’s hand, “The connection you have with Julie is powerful, but even that has its limits.”
“What are you saying, Willie?”
“I’m saying that…” he took a deep breath, relaxing his grip on Alex’s hand as he finally turned to look at Luke, “This is a fight that Julie has to do on her own. The only thing you all can do now is stay here, talk to her, let her know that you’ll be here when she wakes up.”
All four turned when the door opened, moving out of the way as an older nurse that reminded Luke of his mother came in and pulled the medical charts out from the hanger at the end of the bed. She flipped through the pages and checked each of the machines before scribbling down something on the charts before putting the clipboard back.
She didn’t leave immediately, though, and instead, lifted each of Julie’s arms gently to flatten out the creases and folds in the sheets before setting them back down with just as much care. The woman then reached out to brush a curl away from Julie’s face, her smile both hopeful and sad at the same time, “I know you wanted to see your Dad, but Doctor Lewis thought it best to give you some time before you have any visitors.”
There was no response other than the hum of the machines.
“I’ll be back in a bit to check on you again, alright?”
Luke sank into the chair that had been pulled up to the side, wrapping his arms around his legs and resting his chin on his knees as he watched Julie. His vision blurred as tears silently trailed down his cheeks and he was dimly aware of the other three murmuring in the background, the only sounds he could hear were that of the ventilator: the constant steady beeping that told him her heart was still beating, the hissing of the machine pushing oxygen in her lungs…
And it grated on his nerves, remembering what it had felt like after the Orpheum the first time he’d held her. The first time her arms had wrapped around him. The first time he’d felt the thump of her heartbeat against his chest and the warmth of her breath on his neck...
But this machine, it was too artificial. Too mechanical. Too void of life.
The irony that it was keeping Julie alive was not lost on him.
A hand settled on his back, “Luke?”
He forced his eyes away, looking up at Alex. “Hmm?”
“We’re going to go check on the others, did you want to…?”
“No.” He shook his head, “I’m gonna stay with Julie.”
“Okay,” Alex squeezed his shoulder, “We’ll be back.”
Luke nodded and the poofs sounded.
They were gone and he was alone, with only his own thoughts to occupy him and he had never done well with his own thoughts, especially now that he was dead and had all the time in the world to go over every little thing that he’d done that put Julie in that bed because everything that had happened to her was his fault. Because of his hot-headedness and one-track mind, he hadn’t seen anything past Bobby’s betrayal. He’d been too focused on that to really pay attention to how Caleb’s too bright smile hid something predatory as he’d stamped branded their wrists as though they were his fucking property…
His throat tightened and his voice cracked, “I’m sorry, Julie. I’m so sorry…”
Luke clutched at the pendant around his neck so tightly his knuckles went white in a failed attempt to draw on the comfort it had offered whenever he’d missed home before but now thoughts of home conjured more than just his parent’s faces, more than the smell of Dad’s aftershave or the lines that crinkled at the corners of Mom’s eyes when she smiled.
It was the sight of Reggie and Carlos sitting together on the couch, the little boy grinning widely; the sound of Julie and Ray singing in Spanish as they spun around the living room, her clear soprano melding perfectly with his raspy baritone; the curls that fell into Julie’s eyes as she bent her head over Alex’s hands in concentration as she carefully painted a rainbow onto his nails; Flynn’s fond smile when she watched them perform, always the first to applaud them when a song ended; the radiant light of Julie’s smile whenever she caught his eye in rehearsal and the laughter that would always follow when he winked back…
It was Reggie and Alex and Ray and Carlos and Victoria and Flynn and Julie…
Always Julie.
She’d become his home, his heart, his everything…
And now…
Click. Beep. Hiss.
Click. Beep. Hiss.
Click. Beep. Hiss.
“Luke?”
He forced his eyes from Julie and focused on Alex, his voice hoarse, “How are they?”
Alex looked over at Julie, “Scared. Worried.”
Click. Beep. Hiss.
Click. Beep. Hiss.
“What about you?”
He huffed, his words coming out sharper than intended “What about me?”
Alex was silent for a moment, “This isn’t your fault, Luke. You do know that right?”
He sat cross-legged in the chair and said nothing.
“She wouldn’t blame you either.”
Luke frowned as he twisted the chain as tight as it could go before releasing it, watching the pendant spin around and around, forgetting about how well Alex knew him and not really sure how he was supposed to feel about it. Mad that the thoughts he’d kept private had been pulled from his mind? Or glad that he himself didn’t have to voice them aloud? “Just leave me alone.”
Alex took a step forward. “Luke…”
“Go back to your boyfriend, Alex.”
His friend went still at the harsh emphasis on the last word and the Luke of a day ago would’ve immediately felt bad for bringing up the fact that Alex could actually talk to his person as well as the digging up of their own history in the worst possible way (we aren’t together anymore, so stop acting like it) but at that moment…
Alex took a shaky breath, “Okay.”
Then he was gone.
Luke released the necklace and dropped his head, eyes burning with tears, and jaw clenched tightly. He curled his fingers in his hair and tugged harshly in an effort to hold back a frustrated scream because of course, he lashed out.
They had trusted him with every insecurity, every worry, every fear…everything that had ever left a scar on their skin or their mind or their heart, and what had he done with that trust? He’d used them as weapons…to make them hurt like he hurt because, like a child, he’d refused to see anything past his own pain.
He pushed himself out of the chair so roughly it made a horrible screeching sound, but Luke was far from caring as he began to pace back and forth across the hospital room, trying to calm down before he broke one of the machines helping Julie breathe. He would never forgive himself if something happened because of him…
But just the thought of hurting her made the storm of emotions buzzing underneath his skin worsen, the panic and grief and the anger straining to be let out in ways that, as of late, would most definitely be the opposite of helpful. His hands curled and uncurled, fingers itching to play something, anything-
Like that day on the beach, his acoustic guitar appeared in his hands and for just a moment, he hesitated in playing, looking over at Julie. His eyes followed the lines of her profile, peaceful despite the tube taped to the corner of her mouth, and he let go of his guitar long enough to let his knuckles graze the soft curve of her cheek.
He withdrew his hand when it went through her and ran it over his face, attempting to clear his throat but only succeeding in choking out a rueful, watery laugh. “I know Alex is right...that you wouldn’t blame me for any of this. But I can’t stop myself from thinking that if I’d pulled my head out of my ass sooner, we never would’ve gotten onto Caleb’s radar in the first place.”
Click. Beep. Hiss.
Click. Beep. Hiss.
Luke let out a long, shaky breath and squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the sound of that damn ventilator long enough to adjust his guitar strap on his shoulder and begin to play, the melody something he’d wanted to show Julie right before everything had gone to hell, something that was so unlike anything else he’d written.
The noise in his head grew quieter as his fingers moved over the strings, the notes filling the empty, sterile hospital room with light and hope and love because God, he loved her so much it hurt. He loved her in a way that he’d never been able to put into words so maybe, just maybe, he could put it into a song.
His music had always spoken better than he himself would ever able to.
So lost in the song, Luke didn’t realize that the door had opened until the older nurse from before came into the room and walked right through him to check one of the machines and he stopped playing abruptly and shuddered, the sight of himself becoming solid again still too weird to think about, but…
He’d sensed it that night in the kitchen when Julie had done the same. He’d felt how good and pure and light her heart was just as he could feel the grief that lingered underneath it all and now with the nurse, he sensed that same goodness in her too. That same drive to be kind and care for others and while he’d expected to faint tinges of sadness, there was also a glimmer of hope there too. Hope for her patients. Hope for Julie.
She looked around, frowning in confusion. “I could’ve sworn…”
Luke nearly held his breath when her eyes passed over him.
She shook her head, returning the chart to its hook on the end of the bed.
Luke waited until the door shut behind her and her footsteps grew further and further away before he started playing again, pausing to make adjustments, and wished he’d brought his songbook so he could make note of them.
A lull in the music was filled by the ventilator.
Click. Beep. Hiss.
“You know, I was gonna show you this when you got home…” He rubbed the back of his neck, still hesitant to voice his feelings even now. His eyes burned when he looked over at Julie, wishing she could give him that same reassuring smile she’d had when he’d talked to her at school, brown eyes sparkling with warmth as he stumbled over his words. “I’ve never really been good at talking about my feelings, but…”
Click. Beep. Hiss.
He took another shaky breath, “I wish I’d said something sooner, but… I didn’t think it would be fair to you. You are the most amazing girl that I’ve ever met. Strong and kind and funny and insanely talented and so beautiful and God, I love you…” Luke ran a hand through his hair, “I love you so much, but I will never ever be able to love you the way you should be loved.”
Click. Beep. Hiss.
“You deserve an epic love story, Julie, not…whatever the hell this is.” Just the thought of her moving on with someone else hurt but not like it would knowing how much it would break her to open her heart to another person that would inevitably leave her. “We both know that anything we start will end in heartbreak, and hell, we’ve been told that directly, but you know how good I am at being told what to do and well…” he surprised himself by letting out an actual laugh, “…you did say I’m a horrible influence.”
Click. Beep. Hiss.
Click. Beep. Hiss.
Luke looked up when the door opened and he gripped his guitar with white knuckles when Ray entered, the man’s face haggard and his blue eyes stared at his daughter and it was like the first time he’d gone back home to see his parents: Dad holding Mom tight while she clutched the photo of Luke.
“His birthday’s coming up , Mitch.”
He kissed her temple, “I know.”
She let out a long breath, tracing the lines of the chubby, smiling face of a two-year-old Luke. Her eyes were bloodshot and glassy but the tears didn’t fall, almost as though there weren’t any left after all these years, and God, if that didn’t hurt. “He would be forty-two this year.”
He couldn’t remember a time where she’d looked so fragile like even saying his name would cause her to shatter and Luke reached out a hand, his fingers going straight through her. He choked back a sob, his tears flowing freely, “I’m sorry, Mom. I’m so sorry.”
“I’m sorry, mí amor.”
Luke came back to the present when Ray spoke.
He was sitting in the chair that Luke had occupied, his hand clasped in Julie’s as he cleared his throat, “I promised you I would protect them, that I would keep them safe after you were gone but I failed. I failed and now our niña is here in this place, in this bed…”
Luke winced when the man’s voice cracked.
“She’s so much like you, Rose. So passionate and strong and kind and so unafraid to be herself…” Ray reached up, and with the back of his hand, followed the curve of her cheek and, for a long moment, he said nothing, just taking in his daughter’s sleeping face.
Luke finally poofed away as Ray bowed his head, making his way back to the waiting room.
Carlos was curled up asleep on Victoria’s lap while she sang to him in Spanish, Reggie sitting cross-legged on the floor while she ran her fingers through his dark curls with Flynn pressed into the woman’s other side, Carrie’s hand clasped tightly in hers. Alex sat next to Carrie, concern furrowing his brow while Willie hovered by the nurse’s station.
But no Bobby.
Luke frowned as his gaze swept over the chairs, looking for his old bandmate, and was almost about to ask Alex when he saw the man walk through the sliding glass doors to the parking lot outside and, without knowing why, he followed Bobby. He could only watch as the calm façade the man had constructed began to crack.
Bobby had never been one to fall apart around them, even right before they’d booked the gig at the Orpheum. He was always stoic and calm, at least in comparison to the typical chaos that always revolved around Luke, Alex, and Reggie. He’d also been the oldest; eighteen years old to their seventeen and Luke wondered now if Bobby had felt responsible for them all. If he forced his own feelings down so none of them would ever have to worry about him.
But now that he thought himself alone…
Bobby’s resolve crumbled with every step, a choked sound leaving him as his breathing grew more ragged and his eyes shone in the lights of the parking lot, the tears spilling over when he rounded the corner of the hospital and braced himself against the wall, head hanging.
“Not again.” His hands curled into white-knuckled fists and Bobby’s body shook with barely leashed emotion (grief or anger, Luke wasn’t exactly sure), “Please, not again. I can’t…I can’t go through all of this again. Not now. Not her.”
Luke jumped when Bobby’s fist struck the wall.
“She’s sixteen.” His voice cracked as he continued to punch, “Sixteen.”
“Bobby!” Luke stared with wide eyes. “Bobby, stop!”
The man stopped, not because he heard Luke but because his phone had started ringing, flexing his bloodied and bruised hand while he dug around in the pocket of his leather jacket with the other, taking a deep breath and pulling it out.
Luke couldn’t look away from the red smeared on the wall and dripping from his hand, the outburst so unlike Bobby. Because while Luke could read the emotions in his eyes, the thoughts in the man’s head were another thing entirely. Bobby’s jaw tightened when he looked at the screen and Luke didn’t get a chance to see who it was before Bobby answered, but he guessed that it wasn’t someone he wanted to talk to if his irritated sigh was anything to go by.
Bobby put it on speaker, “Yes?”
A woman’s cool voice came through, “Where are you?”
“Hospital.”
“What happened?”
He leaned back against the wall, “Family emergency.”
“You or Carrie?”
“No.” He ran a hand through his hair, “We’re fine. It’s her friend-”
“I thought you said it was a family emergency?”
He worked his jaw, “It is.”
“So, I’ll get the helicopter ready to leave at-”
“No.”
“No?” She sounded incredulous, “You know how important this award show is-”
“I said no.” Bobby’s voice hardened, “I’m not going.”
She sighed, “Just send the girl a get-well bouquet and leave before-”
“What part of I’m not going did you not understand, Veronica?” His grip on the phone tightened. “I don’t care about how important you think the awards show is or the bad publicity or the rumors or whatever bullshit story the media cooks up, alright? I’m staying.”
“I wasn’t aware the Molinas still considered you family.”
Luke felt his own hands clench tightly into fists at the woman’s dismissive tone, but even in his own anger, he saw the words hit Bobby like a sucker punch and another piece of the twenty-five-year-old puzzle slotted into place. Another question about that time was answered, at least in regards to his relationship with Rose and Ray.
Rose had been with Bobby when they’d died and if Julie was anything like her, the woman had probably stayed with him. Helped him through what had no doubt been the worst night of his life. Had become his friend and introduced him to Ray...
“That girl is as much a daughter to me as Carrie is.” Bobby’s voice was hard, unyielding in a way that Luke had heard on only a handful of occasions when some asshole thought they could pick on Reggie or fling slurs at Alex and ended with a busted nose or a black eye for their efforts. “I’m not leaving her and that’s final.”
He ended the call, dropping his head back against the wall and closing his eyes, sinking to the ground and resting his elbows on his knees. With another shaky breath, he buried his head in his hands and began to sob. Not cry. Sob. Full body-wracking sobs that broke Luke’s heart.
He sat down across from Bobby, his acoustic guitar appearing in his lap, and while Julie normally didn’t want them playing anywhere but the studio or performances if they could help it, he was sure she wouldn’t mind. Not for this.
So, he played the beginning chords of “Unsaid Emily”.
Bobby’s head snapped up seconds later. “What...where...?”
Luke watched the emotions play across his face, already seeing something flashing in those bloodshot brown eyes before he even started singing. “First things first, we start the scene in reverse. All of the line rehearsed, disappeared from my mind...”
His eyes widened, “Luke?”
“Yeah, Bobby it’s me.” He spoke the words as loudly as he could without yelling, knowing that his voice could be heard as a whisper amidst the notes. He kept playing as the tears spilled down his face, “It’s Luke.”
“I’m sorry.” He choked out, “I’m sorry.”
Luke didn’t bother asking for clarification as to what he was apologizing for or why even though it ate at him. It wouldn’t help either of them right now to bring that up considering all that had been dragged to the surface in the last twenty-four hours. “I know.”
“I never meant for it to…” He stared at the wall just left of Luke, eyes wide and pleading for the forgiveness of someone who’d been in the ground for twenty-five years. “I…I was a fucking mess after you…” he swallowed, “I just wanted everyone to hear your songs...just like you wanted, but they...” Bobby shook his head, “They said that...that since you were dead and I wasn’t that you...you would want me to have them and I knew it was wrong. I knew it wasn’t right, but I...” he flexed his bleeding hand, “I missed you all so fucking much and I wanted to...I wanted to hang onto any piece of you guys that I could. I never meant...”
The Luke of weeks ago would’ve been livid, pissed that he was stupid enough to believe anything those guys said. That he should’ve known his friends better than that, but now he was reminded of Caleb’s too-bright smile and sugar-sweet promises, and his jaw clenched at the thought of those people taking advantage of a kid whose friends had just died. “I know.”
Luke stopped playing and focused all his energy on his hands.
“Luke?” Bobby looked around frantically, “Luke, don’t go. Please…”
The warmth pooled into his palm and spread through his fingers, Luke recognizing the feeling from every time Julie touched him. He flexed his hand once before reaching out and squeezing Bobby’s knee, smiling when his eyes went wide. “It’s okay, Bobby. I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.”