Chapter Text
There are worse things on this earth Vanya could be but a ghost living in a plant store with her traumatized siblings.
Klaus immediately tackles her for a hug- and face-plants directly into the wall. (Yeah, they’re not quite there yet.) Afterwards, when he’s sitting at the kitchen table, Stella sitting on the counter behind him, just over his left shoulder, Ben beside Stella on the counter and Vanya on the counter opposite Klaus, Klaus seems unable to take his eyes off her.
She grins at him, kicks her feet a little, feeling a little drunk off the feeling of being seen. He grins back, a nervous, shaky thing reminiscent of himself. He turns his head and flicks his eyes towards Ben, who gives him an encouraging half-smile. Vanya watches his Adam’s apple bob as he turns back towards her.
“So, Vanya,” he starts, then looks like he has no idea where to go from there. Luckily, he doesn’t have to, because they’re interrupted by (surprisingly heavy) clomping steps down the stairs. “Klaus!,” Five yells from across the building. “Where the hell are you?”
He comes storming into the kitchen, all five foot three of him, and stops dead when he sees her, his face comically slack with shock.
His recovery time’s shorter than Klaus, though, so- “ Vanya,” he breathes, half question half statement. His eyes dart to Klaus as if to ask you can see her too, right? and Klaus raises his eyebrows at him and nods, two quick, jerky movements of affirmation.
Five settles himself leaning against the counter, eyes glued to Vanya just the way Klaus’s are, and Vanya shifts, nervous, her smile fading a little. She looks to Ben for help and he shoots her an encouraging smile, tilts his chin towards her as if to say go on, and so she does.
“It’s nice to see you guys again,” she starts, and almost jumps at the sound of her own voice. Klaus’s lips twitch upwards. Five just looks troubled and serious.
“I, uh,” she clears her throat, looks down. Realizes her arms are shaking, just the tiniest bit, and immediately feels it’s the only noticeable thing about her. “I missed you guys,” she gets out. Her voice wobbles the tiniest bit and she wants to die.
Well. It’s a bit late for that. But she wants to disappear.
“Ben- Ben told me about- I mean, he caught me up on the plants, and everything. I think it’s great,” she adds, feeling like her skin is burning with the awkwardness of the situation. Five cracks a smile that doesn’t quite erase the worry in his eyes. From Klaus, all she gets is a quickly-fading little crescent, like he wanted to smile but got distracted halfway through. She squirms, looks to Ben for help, he nods at her to go on so she does.
“I’m sorry,” she blurts out, and her voice is shaking in earnest now and cracks on the last syllable. Out of the corner of her eye, Ben shifts on the counter. “I’m sorry,” she tries again, not sure what she’s apologizing for, and then Ben disappears and reappears beside her. “Breathe,” he says, quiet, a hand on her back, and she does and everything’s suddenly a whole lot clearer and easier.
She realizes Klaus is speaking, “Vanya,” he says, all soft, and it makes her want to cry. Or hug him. Maybe both.
“It wasn’t your fault,” Five says, staring out the kitchen window. His eyes flick over to her for a millisecond before he looks down at the floor. She knows him well enough to hear the implied It was mine and, yeah, they’re going to have a long talk about that later.
“He’s right,” Klaus says, and he is looking her in the eyes, scanning her face like he’s looking for something.
There’s another long beat of awkward silence where none of them know quite what to say.
“Ben was a lot of help in- in getting through to you guys,” Vanya says, just to have something to say, and Klaus’s mouth drops open in a perfect, comical O.
“So that’s where the fucker was!” he almost yells, throwing his arms up in apparent disbelief and leaning back in his chair. “Ben, you bitch! Why didn’t you say anything?”
“I wasn’t sure,” Ben retorts. “And when I was sure, it was none of your business.”
“None of my- none of my-,” Klaus splutters, and then Five cuts in, “Mind including me in this conversation?”
“Oh, right,” Klaus agrees, makes two fists and shakes in his chair for a split second and then Five jumps where he’s standing, knocking back against the cupboards, eyes wide and breaths heavy. “Ben,” he hisses, and Klaus barely conceals a bored snort.
“Hey, Five,” Ben says, conversational and cheery. “‘Sup,”
“Oh, not much,” Five retorts with characteristic sarcasm. “Just having a friendly conversation with my ghost siblings after one of them was killed by one of my living siblings and the other mysteriously disappeared and died over ten years ago.”
Vanya’s stomach drops at the mention of Ben’s death- she’s still not over it, still hasn’t managed to fully process- and it must show, because Klaus’s giggle is cut short when he sees the expression on her face. “You okay?” he asks, and she assures him that she is.
Then the first part of that sentence processes in her brain and reminds her of Allison.
“Allison,” she says, and Five and Klaus’s faces both drop. “Is she…?”
“We don’t know,” Five says, finally looking her in the face. “She left, after we got our money.”
“Money?” Vanya frowns, and Klaus and Five tell her about Ms.Benson, the will, the money- (“But wait, Luther didn’t get anything? ” “Yeah, we don’t know either-,”) Allison’s refusal to take her share, Allison and Diego leaving, Luther’s ever-enduring obstinance.
Klaus interrogates Ben on his powers- something to do with ghosts that have plagued him for years being just gone, now- Vanya catches Five looking at her with a particular blend of guilt and worry on his face she resolves to address in private later. But the one thing she has to come back to, after they’ve been talking for well over an hour, is her siblings.
“They just left?” Vanya asks, unable to believe it. “No number, no address, just… gone?”
“Yes,” answers Klaus at the same time that Five says “No.”
Klaus swings his head around to gape at Five. “What?”
There’s a look of dawning realization on Five’s face, and then his fists flash blue and he disappears. Klaus throws his hands up in exasperation, and there’s the sound of footsteps upstairs before a bright blue flash of light heralds his reappearance. He’s holding what looks like a- flip phone?
“I forgot about this,” he says, staring down at the object in his fist. “What is it?” Klaus asks, and Vanya tenses, pulls herself forwards a little bit in expectation of his answer.
“Burner phone,” he says, looking up to meet Vanya’s eyes, then Klaus’s. “Diego gave it to me- right before he left. He said his number was in it.”
“Oh-h, I remember that!” Klaus exclaims, stammering a little. “Well, barely, I was pretty out of it when he gave it to you- but- yeah, I remember!”
“Call him,” Vanya blurts, and their eyes turn to face her.
“Vanya,” Five says slowly, “He could be anywhere. It might not even reach him. He might not want to see us-,”
“Then why would he give Five the phone?” Ben asks from besides her. Vanya shoots him a grateful look and he smiles at her. “I’m with Vanya on this one.”
“Of course you are. Once partners in crime, always partners in crime,” Five mutters. “Klaus, back me up here.”
“What are you so afraid of, Five?” Klaus asks, and it’s the wrong thing to say, because- “I’m not afraid, Klaus,” Five spits. “But if Diego wanted us to contact him anytime, he’d have just given us a number. He wouldn’t have bought a burner phone. Do you know what these are for? Anonymity. Privacy. If there’s no specific reason or emergency we need to contact Diego over-”
“There is, though,” Vanya interjects, and all eyes turn to her. “Me. And Ben.”
“Unless you think reuniting with two dead siblings isn’t a compelling enough reason to-,”
“That’s not what I’m saying,” Five says, sounding exasperated though also a little chastised. “I just-,” He sighs, as if he’s running out of reasons he can voice. “I think we should sit on this a little while.”
Klaus and Ben are prepared to argue, Vanya can tell, but she can also tell something’s up with Five, so- “All right,” she says, cutting off Klaus, who’d opened his mouth to speak. All three of them look to her in surprise (and Five in relief.)
“All right,” she nods. “We’ll sit on it.”
So they sit on it. “I hope you know what you’re doing,” Ben whispers to her, and- “I hope so too,” Vanya replies.
Vanya gives it two days before she goes back to talk to Five.
She finds him in the backyard, besides a mess of gardening supplies, clutching a mug of coffee.
“Hey,” she says, and lowers herself onto the ground beside him. It’s strange, being able to interact with things and yet- not really feeling any of them. It reminds Vanya of when she’d play violin so long that her legs would fall asleep and she’d lose any sort of feeling in them- except minus the uncomfortable hot prickling sensation that usually accompanied those moments.
“Hey,” Five returns, sips his coffee, and grimaces. “No good?” Vanya asks, and he shakes his head.
They sit in silence for a little while. The sky is pale blue, dotted through with cotton-candy clouds underlit with pink. Telephone wires crisscross and slice the sky into sections. In the distance, Vanya can hear the ghosts of city noise; honks and beeps from cars and the steady river-like rushing sound of major streets, the occasional screech of rubber against asphalt; the sounds themselves are lullabye-like reassurances of the continued presence of others and their soothing near-silence a promise of a good deal of space between them and others.
“How are you doing?” Vanya asks, just to break the ice, and Five huffs out a laugh.
“I’m all right,” he answers, turning to face her. “Getting comfortable being… like this.” A sweeping gesture downward at his prepubescent form. “I can’t say the lack of limb pain isn’t a plus. It’s getting easier with Klaus. His meetings are helping-,”
“Five, why don’t you want to call Diego?” she asks, cutting him off, and he stops in his tracks, looking unsurprised, if disappointed, that she’s brought it up.
“I already told you. If he wanted us to get in contact-,”
“Yeah, but you don’t really care what we want most of the time,” Vanya interrupts, and then thinking that might’ve come across too harsh, adds, “I- I mean, you always do what you think is best for us, even if that’s not what we-,”
“I know what you mean,” Five sighs, looking resigned. He runs his finger along the edge of his mug.
“So, why?” Vanya asks.
There’s a long beat of silence before Five speaks.
Then- “Vanya, at the Theatre-,”
She flinches and he stops. “I’m fine,” she reassures him, not entirely convinced of it herself. “Go on.”
“At the Theatre- when Allison- when she killed you-”
“It wasn’t her fault,” Vanya blurts, needing to make that clear.
Five sighs. “I know, Vanya. It was mine.”
“What?”
“I came back to 2019 to stop the apocalypse. And I had opportunity after opportunity to do that. If I had just- talked to you. For five minutes. But I was so wrapped up in my own ideas that I didn’t bother.”
“Five-,”
“And when I was a kid, and I travelled to 2019 and saw us dead- you weren’t there, Vanya. And I didn’t even fucking notice. And because I was such a fucking idiot, one of my sisters lost her voice forever and had to shoot the other one in the back of the head, and Pogo’s dead, and the academy’s destroyed-,”
“Five-,”
“-and my brother’s girlfriend died. And me?” Five scoffs. “Well. One is somewhere relearning everything he’s ever known. Two is somewhere probably performing vigilante justice with no regard for his personal safety. Three is traumatized for life and will probably never speak again. Four is also traumatized for life. Six and Seven are dead. Meanwhile, Five is living in a nice little house full of plants in New York City.” He shakes his head, not meeting her eyes as he takes another sip of his coffee.
“Five,” Vanya says, and then stops, because she has no idea what to say. Her heart hurts for him, but she doesn’t know how to help.
“Five,” she starts again, and then carefully says, “I think I know a little of how you feel.”
“How could you,” Five mutters, and Vanya has to smile.
“Well,” she starts, “I did almost kill my sister.”
Five opens his mouth, but she keeps going.
“I destroyed the academy. I almost killed all of you .”
“Vanya-,”
“We all have stuff we blame ourselves for, Five. I’m sure Diego does too.”
Five considers this. Sets down his mug on the stone patio. The sky is lighter, the city sounds sharper and louder. He squints up into the sky. “Yeah,” he says quietly. “He does.”
“What do you mean?” Vanya asks, and he tells her about Eudora.
***
The next morning after breakfast, Five pulls out the burner phone and sets it on the table.
“All right,” he says, and Klaus and Ben shoot Vanya wondering glances.
Five flips open the phone and dials the number, holds the phone up to his ear.
It rings once- twice- three times- four times- and then someone picks up.
“Diego?” Five says into the speaker, and Vanya leans forward, tense. She can’t quite make out Diego’s response, but it’s definitely him, and she feels dizzy. Even Klaus is leaning nervously forward on his elbows at this point and Ben’s calm seems more practiced than natural.
Five listens, nods, asks where Diego is, and then Diego asks something and Five’s eyes flick to Vanya and Ben.
“Yeah, I’m with- Klaus,” he says.
There’s a few more seconds of conversation from Diego, and then Five says goodbye and hangs up the phone.
He carefully flips it closed and sets it back on the table. He seems lost in thought, but Vanya can’t wait for him to dole out information on his own accord so she opens her mouth to ask- but Klaus beats her to it.
“Well?” he asks, a note of urgency in his lilting voice, and Five frowns.
“It turns out,” he says slowly, “Diego and Allison have been five blocks away from us all this time.”